48 "riding bisons"

"You look beautiful baby" walker repeats. I shook my head "no..no. Something is wrong. Someone will say something about me.." I patted makeup along my forehead to cover the fresh scar and scab...or at least to hide my hideous completion from my family. "Why not just erase your entire face blondie. There won't be nothin to judge if you don't have a face at all" he teased from beside me. I held the mirror in my hand as I sat criss cross on his bunk. I put the mirror down to give him a pathetic look of annoyance. He smiled like a dork. "You're beautiful" he said again. "To you" I dabbed some powder on my foundation before zipping up an old used makeup bag that was owned by my sister from the 90s. I stood up shoving on my soft knitted sweater on that I bought for a dollar from teeter a few months ago. I then tightened my belt to keep my rough jeans from falling before I slipped on shoes. "I think you're over thinking it. They all know what you look like wills who cares" walker said as he leaned back on his bunk to watch me. "Im not. If I make any sudden movements they will tare me up" I say quietly to not embarrassMyself in-front of those around me. "Are you sure it ain't just your sister?" He questioned. "Of course it's mostly my sister" I glanced over my shoulder at everyone watching an old movie that consists of a man riding a buffalo down a mountain. The men sat around the tv giggling like birds. "I don't understand what's so funny about this" Laramie snickered at the men's behavior. Laramie was blonde with green eyes. She was a bit bigger and taller than me. As everyone was. She sat on Lloyd lap as she was attached to his hip for months on end. It grossed me out a little bit. Laramie didn't bother me much. She ignored me just as much as I ignored her. It was her best friend who tormented me. "Because they're fun to ride" Ryan replied. "Have you ever rode one?" Jimmy asked. "Nope but I can only inagine" Ryan laughed aloud. I stood behind the chairs and couches beside walker as we both watched them with a smirk or humor. "I'm sure it would be pretty easy to ride" I say. The unamused crowd looked back at me confused. I gulped at their facial expressions. "How would you know? You're like 90 pounds with no muscle to you!" Colby cackled at me. "Well.. m.. maybe.. maybe not me personally.. but someone like you guys.. it would be easy.. buffalo don't buck very well. They can't buck at all actually. They have way too much mass to them. Their legs aren't made for it. They're far from horses or bulls. They're built more like a.. like uhh a rino! Stubby legs you know?" I smiled nervously as their eyes were staring at me like I was some kind of fool. "Thanks for the useless fact of the day Einstein" Colby laughed. Teeter quickly smacked his arm at his comment. "I'm trying to find where any of us fucking asked!" Mia squealed at me from jimmys arms as they laid on the couch. My smile turned into a deep frown. "I.. was just trying to make simple conversation is all..."

"No one was talking to you twig" he spat. I frowned heavier as I stepped away from the back of the couch. Jimmy smiled at me "I think that was a neat fact" he shrugged. I glanced over at him with a very slight smile. "Thank you Jim" I say. Mia's eyes shot behind her shoulder To glance at her boyfriend with some sort of fury. "Seriously?" Mia scoffed "you're late for dinner" walker whispered down in my ear as he quickly distracted me from whatever was going to come out of Mia's mouth. "You're right.. I'll see you later" Walkers hands squeezed my hips as he kissed me gently. "Good luck" Walker knew I was scared. All day he was letting me know I'd be fine. I've told him every detail about my childhood, every smack, every tussle, every tear, every sob. I felt like throwing up. I was so terrified of this family. At the age of 24 I had no reason to be. I was a grown woman with my own will. I controlled my life. Me. Not them..so I thought. I gently pushes open the door, looking around the room before waking in. There I saw gator already preparing supper. I smiled at him softly as I shut the door behind me. "I know not to make too much when you're around" he chuckled. I laughed slightly. "You know me all too well. Thank you gator. Smells great in here" I smiled. "Thank you. Dinners almost ready. You could probably tell them to sit" he nodded in my direction. I wrapped my arms around myself for some sort of comfort when walking into the huge living space. There I saw Casey holding Monica on the couch as they watched their son good around with John. Beside John sat Beth and rip who I was more than shocked to see. I stood nervously... afraid to speak up. "Supper is ready sir!" Gator shouted from behind me making me leap like a frog. My father looked up quickly glueing his eyes to my scared up face. "Thank you gator" he said without losing eye contact with me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Beth stood up from the couch as everyone else did too. I stuttered. "I.. I.."

"Tate invited her" Casey stopped her quick before she could say anymore. "That mark is lookin a lot better peanut" rip said softly as his thumb gently grazed along my cheek. "What are you doin here?" I said quietly. "I proposed to your sister. Your father figured I was family now" he said. "You what!?" I said awefully loud. The room shifted to me. "Tate why don't you take your aunt and sit where you want to" my father pointed to the dinning room. "Yeah! Come sit next to me aunt will!" Tate took my hand leading me into the dinning room. My eyes watched rip with so much anger. I couldn't believe he would do such a thing. I mean I guess I could believe. He's been her pet for years on end. Tate pulled out my chair to sit me down where I was never allowed to sit before. Mamas spot. I could almost hear the twitch in Beth's eyes. I looked around the room for reassurance. "Sit" Casey demanded. So I did. I sat down with no words to follow. "Papa. Did you hear my horse is having. A baby?!" Tate cheered. My father seemed confused. "A baby?"

"Yeah! She will be pregnant for a whole year!" Tate smiled as he looked down at his mother loading up his plate. "How does that happen?" My father questioned the room. "You have five kids daddy. You should know" Beth said as she sipped her wine. "So what's that gonna cost me vet wise?" My father asked the room again Instead of asking me directly. "Isn't your vet free? You know. Free labor" Casey's head motioned over to me as he chewed. My father sighed. "I guess so. Is she healthy?" He asked towards me just not at me. I nodded. "Very healthy daddy.."

"Well. Then she's your responsibility." He pointed to Tate. "Yes sir!" Tates cheeks widened. "And you listen to your aunt. Make sure you listen to her. She knows what's best for bird" daddy then shook his finger. Tate agreed "yes sir!" He repeated. "Alright... good" the table stayed quiet for a long moment. I poked around at my plate as Tate inhaled his entire meal. I Glanced around to make eye contact with my father. I then bowed my head like a child in trouble. "How are you feeling will?" He asked me. I hesitated as I felt it may be a trap of some sort "I'm fine daddy.. thank you" I said very gently.. Not too loud to take notice. "Your head healed nicely" he spoke down to his plate as his fork severed a steak. I nodded my head "that doc did a fine job" i replied even softer. "How about the arm?" John actually looked up at me in my eyes again. I nod "I have some.. some muscular damage I have to slowly repair but.. the wound is okay" I spoke as soft as I could talking to him. One wrong tone I would ruin everything. "Of course she feels fine. She's been sleeping around with them cowboys out there daddy" My gut wrenched as her statment took me by surpris. "What?" John stared at my sister with confusion then shifted his feelings towards little ol me. "Beth" rip mumbled. "It's the truth" she smirked. I knew things were going a bit too smoothly for her liking. "You've been what?" My father was glued to me for answers. My jaw was dropped a so was speechless. This time I was furious more than scared. "She's been hopping on all of them" Beth repeated. I think what made me mad the most was that I was actually in love. I didn't and wouldn't want anyone to come between that. I stood up "shut your mouth" I said. The room went quiet. They were in disbelief I could even speak that loud. "Who the hell are you talking to like that" Beth cackled like a witch on Halloween. "I'm not going to sit here while you taunt me Over something that isn't true!!" I rose my voice towards her. She had a large smile on her lips as she stood up too to get onto my level.. it was almost like she was proud of my rage "then what do you call what's going on in that bunkhouse? Hm?" She crossed her arms like she called me out on a crime. I looked at my father with my cheeks as red as an apple. I was embarrassed. "Go on" my father sighed with a gentle ease back in his chair. "Ive been seeing walker. Not that it's anyone's buisness!" I tried to shout, but my voice was cracking. "Walker?" My father questioned. I nodded "yeah! Walker! What.. what are you gonna do about it.. huh? I've been seeing him for months! Nothing has changed" I gulped with my hands on my hips. My palms were so sweaty I was soaking my shirt. My father glanced at rip as if he was in charge of me at all. Rip nodded silently letting my father know it was a fact. "Is he good to you?" John asked. I blinked as I was shocked he gave a shit. My hands fell to my side. "....well..yes daddy.. real good to me" gosh, my knees were so shaky I could melt into a puddle. My father looked at rip again. Rip once again nodded "real good to her" he said with a disappointed tone. "Alright" daddy simply said. I furrowed my brows. "That's it? She's breaking a rule in your bunkhouse and that's all you're gonna say?" Beth's hands held in the air as she questioned the earth. "Her entire life is this ranch. What do you expect to happen? Her to never fall in love? To never love her life? Bethany. Look at you. Aren't you engaged to my ranch hand?"  My father cocked a brow. "This is unbelievable" suddenly the back of her knees aggressively shoved her chair out from under her. I flinched at the scuffle. "Don't you forget what she did to this family daddy. Don't you ever forget" Beth left the dinner table with the slamming of her chair then the slamming of her bedroom door down the hall. I stayed standing just in case my father wanted me to leave too. "Sit down will" he said. I nodded my head as I sat in silence....

The rest of dinner was quiet. Like my father enjoyed it to be. Slowly everyone migrated into the living room around the fireplace to rest those full bellies. My father held out a fox tail to Tate as he told him a long story about him and his father. I began to feel it wasn't my place to stay here anymore so a started to show my self out. "Willie. Do you remember this?" John asked. I glanced over my shoulder at my father holding up the fox tail. I stepped close to him just a bit. He placed the tail in my hands as I petted it. "Yes sir..." I say as the family around us listened. "I shot it" I looked down at it still speaking as quiet as a nervous mouse. "What for?" Tate asked. "When I was a kid we had chickens...."

"Her chickens. She loved those damn things" John smirked. "..yeah.. they um.. they kept being killed. One by one by one. I didn't understand why. Until I found a trail of feathers leading Under their pen. My grandfather told me to stay up all night and sit outside the pen. So I did"  I sat down in front  of the fire place, next to my father's feet while Tate sat on the floor. "She sat outside of that pen for 8 hours straight holding a pellet gun my father bought her for her birthday. She sat in the cold while wearing her fuzzy pink pj pants along with one of my hunting jackets. She stayed up until she saw that damn fox. She put a bullet right between the eyes to protect those chickens. That was a proud day when I saw that little girl holding up a dead predator" My father? Proud? Of.. me?"

"How old were you?" Tate asked. I shrugged "younger than you. I don't know" I rubbed my hands along my knees as they rested along my chest. "Can I shoot a fox?" He asked. "You can shoot a coyote if they get near the calf's." Casey said as he held Monica in his arms. "Oh that would be awesome!" Tates eyes lit up. "Hey! I've never seen chickens here. Where did they go?" Tate questioned. I looked into the fireplace as I was saddened about what had happened to them. "That's a story for another day" my father was quick to change the subject. "You should probably go wash up for bed Tate. I'll meet you upstairs in a couple minutes" Tate grumbled "fine.. goodnight popa. Goodnight aunt will"

"Night baby" I say softly before standing up. "I should head back"

"You don't wanna stay for a drink?" My father asked. I looked over at him a bit concerned "are you dying daddy? What's going on with you?" I asked. My father chuckled following a scoff "I can't just hang out with my daughter?" I looked at Casey who shook his head in disbelief. "Is there something you want from me that you don't think I'll say yes to? I always do what you ask daddy" I was a bit frightened at his way of speaking. "Do you think that low of me Willie?" He sipped his whiskey while looking down at the fire. I glanced at Casey for some help. Casey was just as confused as I was. "I have an eye exam next week. ill need a ride there and back. Would you take me?" He asked me. "Of course daddy. You don't have to bribe me to take you to an appointment. Just let me know when and what time. I'll be there" I say softly. "Alright.. I will.."