14

Y/N had faced a lot in life.

New schools. An angry Felix. A jealous Heather.But nothing — nothing — could prepare her for dinner with the Heffleys.

“I swear,” Rodrick said as they walked up the driveway, “they’re totally chill.”

Y/N raised a brow. “You once told me your mom grounded you for putting eyeliner on Greg’s teddy bear.”

Rodrick scratched his neck. “Okay — mildly chill. Just… don’t mention tattoos, sex, or anything with the word Satanic in it.”

Y/N smirked. “So basically don’t mention you.”

“Exactly.”

He knocked.

The door opened instantly.

“OH MY GOSH! You must be Y/N!”Susan Heffley practically dragged her inside. “Rodrick said you’re just adorable!”

Rodrick groaned. “Mom.”

“Dinner’s almost ready! We made casserole, salad, and Manny picked the juice boxes!”

Manny peeked around the corner. “Is that your girlfriend? Does she make out with you?”

Y/N choked on her laugh.

“MANNY!” Susan scolded.

Rodrick muttered, “I hate this house.”

The Heffleys all gathered at the dinner table. Y/N sat between Rodrick and Susan. Greg stared like he was observing a wild animal in a zoo.

“So… how’d you two meet?” Susan asked, all excited.

Y/N smiled politely. “School. He kind of hated me.”

Rodrick grinned. “She hated me more.”

Greg scoffed. “She probably had a point.”

Rodrick flipped him off under the table.

Frank cleared his throat. “Rodrick. Language.”

Y/N accidentally brushed her foot against Rodrick’s. He glanced over — eyes darkening.

Dangerous territory.Under-the-table footsie in the middle of meatloaf night.

Susan passed her a giant bowl of cheesy something. “Rodrick never brings anyone home. You must be special!”

Y/N flushed. “Thanks.”

Rodrick leaned in and whispered, “Don’t get used to it. They’ll try to baptize you before dessert.”

Greg stabbed his carrots. “So do you actually like him?”

Y/N blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, he smells like old bands and garage oil.”

Rodrick lunged. “I SWEAR TO GOD, GREG—”

Susan clapped her hands. “Let’s not fight!”

Manny chimed in: “Do you guys kiss on the lips?”

Frank dropped his fork.

Rodrick banged his head on the table. “End me.”

Susan laughed nervously. “Kids say the darndest things!”

Frank gave Rodrick a look. “Do we… need to talk about safe choices?”

Rodrick froze. “Dad, stop.”

Y/N nearly spit out her water.

Meanwhile, her phone vibrated.

Sam:

i bet greg’s staring at u like ur a cursed artifact

text if u want me to fake a medical emergency

She smiled behind her napkin.

As dessert rolled around, Rodrick reached under the table and grabbed Y/N’s hand. He squeezed it — a small, private moment among all the chaos.

“You still breathing?” he murmured.

She smiled. “Barely.”

Susan brought out brownies. “Next week we’re doing board game night! Y/N, you’ll come too, right?”

Rodrick whispered, “Say no. Say you’re allergic to Monopoly.”

But Y/N smiled and said, “Yeah. I’d love to.”

Rodrick looked over at her — a little surprised, a little soft.

Maybe chaos wasn’t so bad if it meant this was real.