Chapter 16

*Payton's POV*I'm laying on the couch, Sean with me, trying to find what to watch.

"Pay, I think we should talk.." He brings up suddenly, and I stop clicking the Apple TV remote to stop and listen.

"What's up? Everything okay? You're scaring me," I stifle a laugh.

"Yeah, no, everything's fine, I just wanted to know how you were doing, you know.. with your current boy situation," he says trying to remain serious.

"What about it?"

"Have you guys talked at all?" He asks.

"Sort of, I mean he explained what happened yesterday, he was at the field before you guys were, but I really wasn't in the mood to hear anything. I was already frustrated with not getting any goals in, then I punched the goalpost, I just wasn't in the right headspace to think about what he was saying I guess.." I explained as I started running my fingers over my bruised knuckles.

A short silence followed before he said anything again, "Would you forgive him?"

I stopped to think before continuing. Would I forgive him?

"I've been trying not to get hung up on it too much, meaning I haven't given it any thought."

"Well.." He begins and I give him an odd look, coming to think of it, he's been acting strange all morning.

Just then Matt walks in with Brooklyn. My eyes meet with Brooklyn's and I feel a pang in my chest.

"We'll leave you guys alone," Sean says, getting up from the couch and leaving upstairs with Matt.

Wow thanks guys.

"Hey.. I know you don't wanna see me right now, they sort of dragged me here though, I get it if you want me to leave, we'll just tell them we talked," he says.

"No, it's fine," I said, my eyes still fixated on the ground.

I hoped this would go better than what's happening right now.. We sat in silence until he said something.

"I'm so sorry Payton.. I can't sleep thinking that I've hurt you. You were never supposed to mean this much to me. I was never supposed to fall so hard. But you know what? I did and that's the truth, that's what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go." He said and tears welled once again in my eyes.

"There's this part of me that wants to forget what happened and forgive you. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know this love thing is new to you, but it just hurt to see you believing something that I would never do," I said shaking.

"If it was the other way around, wouldn't you have believed that some girl pushed herself on me and you only saw me kissing her? You would've thought the same thing."

"Well that didn't happen. You chose to kiss Savannah." I said in between cries.

"I wasn't thinking.. I couldn't get the thought of you and that guy kissing out of my mind. I know I shouldn't of done that, but it hurt so fucking much seeing you with someone else. I don't even like Savannah, and you know that. I love you, and only you. I only kissed her because I thought you didn't want me anymore.." he said with sadness in his eyes.

"Once I don't want you anymore, I'll let you know," I joked. "I love you too Brook," I managed a smile. He went over to kiss me, our lips meeting, and my sadness cured. But there was something off..

I didn't feel anything.

No fireworks exploding through my body,

My heart didn't skip a beat,

I wasn't sad anymore, I was just..

There.

Maybe it was my mind deciding to mess with me.

Yeah.. That's probably it.

But what if it's not? What if I don't actually love him anymore, and it's just my brain telling my heart to love him, but my heart keeps fighting it off.

Was I really hurt enough to stop loving him?

In just a matter of days??

He's gone from a stranger to the boy I loved in only a few days before.

What now? Is he just a stranger again?