Final Chapter pt.2

••THIRD PERSON••

In the morning after that eventful evening, Beam wakes up to a pair of eyes staring right at him.

He blinked and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and stared back, finally realizing that he was not dreaming and that his boyfriend was really boring holes to his head.

This was weird, since Forth almost never does that, unless he's worried about him. But why would Forth be worried about him? He's fine.

"How long have you been doing that?" He says hoarsely, squinting accusingly (but in a good way) to the pair of eyes.

He purses his lips. "About an hour.."

"Is their something wrong with my face? What time is it?" He reached for Forth's hands and they stared at each other.

"No." Forth started rubbing little circles at the back of his hands. "Uh...9:32"

Beam grins. "So what are you doing? Are you trying to read my mind?"

"Maybe."

"And what do you see?"

"Hungover."

"Hmm. A little." Beam giggled. "That's it?"

"And there's a lot more.."

"Like what?"

"I haven't figured it out yet.."

"Well, you can't look at my face forever so you better figure it out now."

"I can try."

"You can," Beam giggles again. "What are you trying to figure out anyway?"

"I still don't know..you could just tell me.."

"You're weird sometimes. What do you want to know?"

At this, Forth took a deep breath and let go of Beam's hands, he sat up on the bed, legs folded in front of him and took hold of Beam's hands again.

"Is there something you have to tell me?"

Beam frowns. "What?"

"Yesterday, I heard you guys talking.." And that's all he said, deciding not to tell him what he actually heard, because he didn't hear all of it and Beam was left to catch on exactly what he was talking about.

"You..heard us?"

"I didn't mean to. And I shouldn't have because I knew it was private.."

Beam sat in the sat up in the same position as Forth, they were now facing each other.

In the confines of this room, with only the two of them, Beam is forced to talk about the scars, the fears and the nightmares. To open up and completely let Forth in.

Forth knew Beam wasn't ready, but he also knew he was strong enough. No, scratch that -- he believed Beam was strong enough for this.

He practically said I love you last night and if he's brave enough to say that to his face (even under intoxication) he's brave enough to face anything god damn it!

"If you wait 'till he's ready you'll be waiting for the rest of your life."

When Beam didn't say anything, he held onto his hand tighter. "Beam, is there something you want to say?"

"I'm not ready.."

"When are you ready, then?"

"I -- I don't.."

"See? If you don't tell me now, when do you plan to? I'm ready, whatever it is, I'm ready.. Tell me.."

Do you want to break up with me? Was the words that almost came out of Forth's mouth, but he didn't want to give him the idea, so he just waited.

"I'm sorry.." Beam begins to tremble.

This was it, Forth thought. This wasn't what he and Pha talked about but at this point he's not so sure anymore. Beam could make decisions he could regret after. This was the end. Another ending? How many times does this relationship have to almost end before it really does?

But he told Beam he was ready, whatever the fuck comes out of his mouth he promised he was ready. If this was another break up, he's ready to fight for it again, and again, and again until Beam becomes ready to fight the obstacles with him. They've come this far and he's not going to let one fucking nightmare put an end to that.

"I'm scared of losing you..I can't.."

Forth blinked, Pha, that little shit was right after all. Why was Forth so scared anyway? Idiot.

"I'm still not ready for that.."

"What?"

"I can't lose you..but I can't trust myself to keep you either..I'm just scared that I wouldn't have enough time to be myself and keep you at the same time..I'm making it hard on both of us and I'm sorry that I can't just make it go away..I'm scared..I'm still not ready fir the end.."

"But..you don't have to be scared..I'm here, right now, aren't I? And like I told you before I'm not going anywhere..nothing is ending.."

"Really?" Beam sniffed. It's too early for such drama but it's now or never.

Forth smiled fondly and gripped Beam's hand tighter. "Listen, I know that you push me away when we fight sometimes because you're afraid that I won't love you anymore, that I'll decide to leave like nothing ever happened, i know it's hard to believe but only the nightmares do that, not me. Okay? And right now, I'm not going to promise anything because I know how little you trust promises but please believe me when I say that I am in love with you. And I'll keep trying to tell you everyday that I love you just like how I loved you before..maybe even a lot more now."

"Really?" Beam sniffles again.

"Mm-hm." Forth wiped the tears from Beam's face and then lay down on the bed and tapped the spot next to him, Beam followed and rested his head on Forth's shoulder. "And I know you love me too." He said against Beam's hair. "You said so last night. Well..uhm..sort of.."

"Really?"

"You scared the fuck out of me and 'really?' Is all you're gonna say?"

Beam looked up at him and kissed on the corner of his mouth. And then moved to get up from the bed. "Wait here." And then proceeded to rummage for something on his backpack.

When he seemed to find what he was looking for, he hid it behind his back and walked back three short steps to Forth, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What do you have there?" He raised a questioning brow, Beam's flushed cheeks (from crying) were now more redder.

"Uhmm..it's just a simple gift, I realized I didn't get you a proper one on your birthday so..here.."

"What you gave me on my birthday was the best.." He grins as he took the small box from Beam.

"Shut up." The other guy mumbles shyly.

He opened the small navy blue box to see a silver watch with black leather straps. The inside of the watch looked like the usual face of a watch, and this one looks simple but expensive, but if you tilt it to the right angle and light hits it perfectly, an engraving would appear just under the number twelve. To my Savior, It read.

"I know it's not much but.." Beam couldn't say what he wanted to because he found himself in bone crushing hug and Forth kept kissing his temple.

"I love it. It's perfect. Thank you, Beam." He finally said after he let Beam go, and kissed him hard on the mouth and then kissed him again on the forehead.

"Uhmm..okay listen..there's supposed to be a little monologue of me trying to say thank you for everything and all that but I got so excited and nervous and I didn't have time to prepare for it and..just..thank you for being here. For being with me. For trying. For showing me that I deserve to be loved too. For not leaving. For...everything."

"You're babbling." Forth smiled fondly and pinched his cheek.

"I swear that speech sounded perfect in my head." Beam tried to assure him but Forth was already grinning widely.

"I'm sure it did." Forth kisses his forehead again, like consoling a little kid.

"I love you." Beam blurted out in the softest way possible. After all, it's now or never, right?

The grin in Forth's face was replaced by a wide eyed surprise, like he was drenched in cold water.

"Are you okay?" Beam asked worriedly. Did saying it came at a bad time or was Forth really that shocked.

"You finally said it back." He whispered, and then his features softened. "I love you too, Beam. Even if it took you so long to say it."

"That's because I'm strong enough to mean it now. I love you."

"Oh shit." Forth ran a hand to his chest. "I think I fell in love all over again."

That earned a snort and a giggle from Beam. "You're so dramatic. But seriously, thank you for understanding me and my mood swings. I mean, I don't know if there is gonna be a phase that I have so much issues and I'm going to be difficult and shit..i hope you don't get sick of me."

"Babe, I'm not perfect, so there's gonna be a time where I'm gonna get mad and we might get into an argument and you or me or both of us will cry but I'm just saying that, there will be arguments and I can't promise to be understanding all the time but that doesn't mean I'll give up on you." He cups Beam's cheek with both of his hands, delicately running his thumb over his cheeks like he was holding the world, because he was. "I know I can't give you the world but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try."

"Okay." Beam nods, his eyes brimmed with tears. "Shit, can you believe you're making a big decision to stay with a crazy person like me? I could get so over dramatic, can you live with that?"

And Forth couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. Because hell yes, he can live with that.

"I am so in love with you and you have no idea." He pinched the cheeks.

"I think I do." Beam reached for his nape and kissed him slowly, sweetly. And then Forth kissed back, hard, so he did too.

His hands found their way inside Forth's shirt and ran his hands slowly up and down his torso, earning a hitched breathing from Forth, so he lifted up the shirt to get it off of him and then Beam pushed him against the bed, they stumbled and Beam climbed on top of him and then kissed him again and again.

Forth didn't worry of their actions this time because 1. they're not drunk, only hungover 2. Beam isn't doing this out of need for distraction and 3. they're both horny 🙊

Forth shifted their position so Beam was now under him, already half undressed, he took off his shirt too and started peppering kisses down Beam's throat to his collarbones and down and to his chest and abdomen, and then back to kissing his mouth again, their hands clasped in each other, Beam's other hand found it's way to Forth's waist, caressing the skin around the waist band, his hands leaving tingling sensations. Beam's hand was now under the band of Forth's boxer shorts slowly making it's way to his --

"HEY GUYS! I KNOW YOU'RE AWAKE! AREN'T YOU HUNGRY!? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN OUT SINCE BREAKFAST AND IT'S ALREADY LUNCH!"

The voice on the other side of the door says. Lam, that idiot.

This made them stop and looked at each other half annoyed. Forth sighed.

"TEN MINUTES!!" Beam yelled back, not bothering to take his hands out of Forth's waist band and Forth not bothering to get off from him. Forth chuckled at their situation.

"IT'S BAD TO MAKE FOOD WAIT!" It was Phana this time, obviously trying his best not to giggle but Beam can picture him grinning stupidly. And his blood boils.

"They're ganging up on us." Forth whispered, finally collapsing on top of Beam, his head in the crook of Beam's neck, laughing at the silliness of the situation.

It would have been ticklish for Beam but he was far too annoyed to be ticklish. Beam grits his teeth instead and heaved a sigh.

"THE FOOD BETTER BE WORTH IT OR I AM GOING TO CUT EVERYONE'S THROAT!"

***************

EPILOGUE:

[A/N: FINALLY!!]

••THIRD PERSON••

The air outside was a lot colder than it's supposed to be at this time because of the rain pouring hard outside and the air conditioning was much more colder.

Forth felt all that added weight when Beam rolled over from the other side of the bed and draped all his body weight to Forth, invading his side of the large king size bed. It took a few more wiggles to get in the position he wanted and Forth grunts when Beam buried his face on his neck and Forth was forced to deal with all the hair that was being pushed in his face.

"Warmth." Beam said when he seemed satisfied with the position he was in. Forth, being a bit groggy from being jolted awake for a demand for warmth, smiled and nuzzled his face on the mass of hair that smelt of sweet watermelon and green apples.

I will ask him after he finishes graduate school.

He repeated it like a mantra.

He had thought about this before, he planned it in his head for so long that it became part of his every day thoughts.

I have until then to plan the whole thing.

They've decided to live together after they had graduated from the Uni. Forth kept his word that even if they had arguments, they wouldn't give up, and here they are, five years later, basking in the warmth of each other in an apartment outside the busy streets of the city, with their two sons sleeping peacefully at the foot of the bed.

Or you could just ask him now. Another voice in his head says.

One of their sons, a two month old golden retriever named Mochi rests his head on top of his older-but-smaller brother Mocha, who is an orange cat that looks like the famous cat Garfield. Mocha looks ticked off because he still doesn't forgive his parents for a adopting a golden clingy dog. But Forth and Beam knew that the grumpy cat secretly loves the puppy, he just doesn't show it because he's a cat. Kinda reminds them of a close friend named Kit.

Right now? But I don't have a ring yet.

A lot of things happened in that span of five years. First, Beam introduced Forth to his Dad, (well, that was weeks after he threatened to cut everyone's throat, thankfully, all their friends managed to come out unscathed.) It was a very unnerving experience for Forth since the old man seemed to eye his every move, waiting for him to make a wrong turn, like a tiger waiting to pounce on a prey. But all was well in the end.

Then, after that, they resumed life at the University, where Beam talked about the whole experience of his boyfriend meeting his Dad for the first time, and since then he never let Forth live it down.

Then go and get one in the morning. It's not like it's a requirement.

There were arguments of course, Beam still had good days and bad ones. It was impossible to say that Forth never lost his cool, he's only human too. But he was very patient with Beam until everything slowly went back to it's pace. Maybe that's how you know you really love them -- Forth thought when he looked back on those times -- when you can be mad at them but still be able to hold their hand and kiss them goodnight. And that's how you know they love you too. When they couldn't sleep without you making up.

But he hasn't finished graduate school yet!

Self doubt, insecurities and nightmares? Beam was way past that point now. These days, he and Forth would only bicker on simple things like what to eat or who fed the dog/cat something they shouldn't have. Or who changed the fricking channel.

It's not like your gonna get married tomorrow! Just ask!

Their friends were all doing well too, Lam has a girlfriend now, and so is Art who managed to grow out of his addiction to internet gaming and finally went out on date that Mark had arranged for him. Then there's Bright who now owns a bar of his own and is doing pretty well in terms of business after he realized office work just wasn't for him. He always said he wanted to be the boss.

Toota met a man at Jan and Mark's wedding last month and let's just say that it was worth the wait. Rome and a friend was their photographer.

Ask. Him. Coward.

Beam released a soft sigh in Forth's neck and draped his leg and arm over his chest and legs like a human seatbelt. Forth was used to it by now.

Forth massaged his temple and released a long suffering sigh. Then kissed Beam on the top of his head.

Oh fuck it!

"Beam.."

"Hmmn?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Let's get married."

There was a moment of silence when Beam didn't move, he thought Beam fell asleep.

Then he felt Beam's cheek press on his collarbone. He was smiling.

"Aren't you supposed to get down on one knee?"

Forth let out a sigh of relief. "Okay. Hold on." He made a move to get up and do just what Beam said but Beam tightened his hug to pin him down before he can even lift his head from the pillow.

"Don't move." Beam threatened and Forth then smiled.

"Well? Do you want to marry me?" Beam tightened his hug more, if that was even possible, like he would never let go.

"Okay."

**

Now, after all this, it must make you wonder, did Forth really save Beam?

Well, Beam thought Forth did.

Anchors.

Anchors are those solid metal attached to a ship by a rope or a chain and are thrown off ships to hold them in place and stop them from sailing away.

Doesn't make sense right?

But other times, anchors are people. They provide support and strength and that's what Forth was. The anchor that held him in place when he was so so close to letting go. Forth loved him and that's what made him stay, someone loved, accepted and forgave him for what he did, or what he think he did -- that is. Love saved him.

Forth didn't think he did, actually.

He loves Beam, that's for sure. But he was only there to remind him that life gives chances. There are answers. Sometimes, anchors are other people, and people like Beam relied on them for support. But there aren't always other people to rely on to because they're busy with own lives too and that's when you'll realize that your anchor can be yourself.

So no, Forth didn't think he saved Beam.

Forth loves Beam and Beam loves him back, that's what made him unconsciously want to save himself. Beam saved himself and Forth was only there to stay beside him while he fixed himself. Forth was only there to love him.

After all, you can't save people, you can only love them.

END

***************

A/N: Time for me to babble.

Okay First of all, Holy shit! That's a lot of reads and votes. I mean, I didn't expect this story to even reach a thousand reads after I published it last year and now it's close to a hundred thousand reads!! WTF.

When I first published this story I thought that it wouldn't have this much reads because I was just typing what my mind was telling me and most of the time I don't make sense that I even confuse myself.

I only thought of this story after reading a quote on tumblr and that quote stayed in my mind and then I lie awake at night and started imagining characters and backgrounds and context. And then I was reading something on wattpad and then I realized that I could make a story about that quote because it just wouldn't be out of my mind. I've written so many original stories but I've never published anything because I either misplace the notebooks I've written them in or a classmate that borrowed it never returned the thing or I got sick of it and burned it. So yeah, this isn't the first story I've finished but this is the first thing I published.

I told you I was babbling. So anyways, ask me something in the comments regarding this story (depression, anxiety, etc) / or my other stories if you want and the next update will my answers.

I'll give you a proper ending speech after I get some sleep. It's 12:10 AM and my mind is a little bit messy now so, goodnight.

Thank you for reading, voting and for your comments and patience. I love you.