Final Chapter

••BEAM••

"BRIGHT!! TOOTA!!"

We heard Lam yell at the top of his lungs as he flap his hands above his head, which made everyone's attention focus into him, and then to the two people on our right.

Just then, the one in orange — Bright did the same, flailing his arms above his head and then yelled at someone we can't see yet. But I think I know who he's calling.

''KNOT! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!'' he and Toota jogged towards us, Forth decided to do the same and dragged me behind him, and then i noticed Lam running after us. And then everybody else trailed behind us, taking their time to walk.

Forth dropped my hands to give Toota a proper hug and then walked passed Bright, completely ignoring him, to give Knot a bear hug.

''Hey! What about me!'' Bright gaped and I chuckled at their silliness as Toota walked towards me and gave me a bear hug.

I forgot to mention that this family are affectionate and likes giving bear hugs. I just hope my friends (specifically Pha and Kit) don't get too territorial over their boyfriends, especially Pha since he doesn't like other people touching his boyfriend. (I don't think any insects that land on Yo ever receives mercy.)

Lam dashed past me and Toota to jump on Bright and for a moment there they looked like long lost brothers when they started jumping up and down tackling each other to the ground. They caught everyone's attention which I'm pretty sure everyone rolled their eyes at but not me, as i noticed three new faces on that group.

Forth was talking to Knot after he introduced Forth to his friends who I've never seen before, Forth then gestured towards our friends and they walked back towards us, still ignoring Bright and Lam.

I waved at Forth when he pointed to me while he was talking to new friend that Prem introduced to him, then I asked Toota in a low voice but i don't think he heard me. ''Who are they?''

Pick had his hands on his pocket as he walked towards us and then I noticed a small boy, peering behind him. He was the smallest one in that group and he looked cute hiding behind Pick. If he is Pick's boyfriend, his name must be Rome, if i remember correctly.

''Who is that?'' Toota asks instead, his eyes gazing intently through my shoulder and I turned back to my friends, I follow his eyes and realize he was staring at Ming and I chuckled.

''Close your mouth, Toot. He's already taken.'' I say, grinning widely.

''Already? Shit! All the good looking ones are always unavailable!'' He muttered under his breath but I don't think he was really that disappointed. ''Anyway, I'm sure you haven't met before..the cute one hiding behind Pick is his boyfriend Rome, he's also on the same Uni as me and Knot,'' He points to Pick who was introducing Rome to Lam. ''And that two over there are Arthit and Kongpob..'' I remember now, Bright did mention their names but i forgot what it was about. ''Kongpob is a freshman engineering student on our Uni and they're boyfriends. And in case it's not obvious, Arthit bottoms.'' my eyes widen gaping at him but Toota looked unbothered at my reaction as he checked his nails with a bored sigh.

''Too much information there, Toot!'' Prem slaps him in his back but he was grinning widely at me. ''But it's true..'' he says, cupping a hand to his mouth.

''Anyways,'' i said distractedly as i turn to my friends, ''..meet my friends! This is my best friend Phana and he's Nong'Wayo,'' I gestured to them, ''..that's Kit, my other best friend and beside him is Ming..'' I gestured to Ming and Toota fluttered his lashes after clasping his hands together as a greeting. Prem and my friends did the same until I introduced every one to Prem and Toota and Forth introduced them again to Knot and everyone. It looked like a greeting battle.

[A/N: Whose dumb idea was it to do a crossover for the last chapter anyway? That's 18 people. That's a freakin' lot of characters. Why did i subject myself to this kind of torture?]

When the sun got too hot to for us to stay longer outside, Forth and Lam offered to have lunch with Knot's group because they were leaving in the afternoon as they arrived here two days before us. Just a little get together before they go back home for their own family vacations. Everyone agreed happily, especially the over dramatic ones -- the twins and Lam.

I wondered how someone as little as Rome can cope with Pick's childlike attitude but then I realized there was Wayo and Ai'Kit who once had to restrain their boyfriends from engaging in a food fight at a restaurant we visited the last time we ever went on an outing. And then there was me trying to chase my idiot of a boyfriend because he said their faculty was better than ours, but hey, I'm not that small so I don't count.

I don't remember what exactly occurred for us to be eating on a large rectangular table right now, but all I remember is that we were supposed to eat in two separate tables but then everyone had their own preferences on who they want to eat in front of — which resulted in the restaurant staff and half of my friends (from both sides) arranging the tables like puzzle pieces for fifteen whole minutes just so everyone was at one table only. It caused a wild commotion — with Bright talking and commanding everyone the entire time, making half my friends question if he really is an engineering student or an interior designer wannabe and the other half just ignoring him. And the staff were pretty welcoming to a change in arrangements anyway so i guess all was good. (Talk about having lunch with a bunch of college people behaving like ten year old spoiled brats).

So there are eighteen of us on a rectangular table. (That's a lot!) Knot sits on the side of the table where only one person can occupy, like how where the head of the family usually sits. Lam is on Knot's right side, then Forth and me. Phana sits beside me, and Wayo on his right and then Ming (who inserted himself between Wayo and Kit just so he can avoid Toota) beside Kit is Bright. Arthit sits at the other end of the table across Knot. On his right is his boyfriend Kongpob, on Kongpob's right is Prem and then Toota (who was happy that he got to sit right across from Ming). Completing the circle -- or rectangle that is -- was Rome, Pick, Art, Jan and Mark.

''Guys! who knew we'd be here all at the same time?!'' Toota piped up excitedly then in a more dreamy voice, he added: ''This must be destiny..'' He propped his chin on the heel of his palm and stared dreamily at Ming at the other side of the table who was hiding behind Kit like a lost puppy every time Toota smirks flirtily at him, and what's weird about this is that Kitty looked more amused than jealous.

Knot, Prem, Mark and Pha and me were watching them every several minutes and would snicker at Ming every time he would inch closer to Kit. Toota knew about the relationship between the two even though it's not much obvious, unlike the other couples in the group, but he just likes to bully the younger engineering student and no one bothers to tell him to stop, they were all amused with Ming's (and Kit's) reaction anyways.

The conversations were mostly about hazing and engineering things and for some reason, robotics. I learned Knot wanted to pursue engineering and study robotics just like Forth. Jan seemed interested in their topic as she  started asking questions using some words I don't really understand. Then Kongpob, Prem and Arthit would make comments about the subject when Knot would tell an experience in school regarding the same thing.

''I'd rather go blind than read any more study books after we graduate!'' Bright says, he must have heard them us from the other side of the table.

''Hey! I never saw you read anything from the very first day we met, what 'read' are you talking about? Do you even know how to read?'' Prem countered, earning giggles from around the table as Bright whines "OI!"

On the other end of the table, Pha and Kit were discussing about the huge differences between tending to injured people and animals with Pick. Wayo and Rome were also nodding and smiling to each other, engaging in a quiet conversation i know nothing about. It was nice seeing them because I know Yo is a little awkward when meeting new people since he was only close to Ming since they were in grade school and Rome looks really nice and friendly.

Kongpob and Arthit we're talking with Prem and Kit about something but I noticed that while chatting, Kongpob would pick out small portions of food from his plate and place it in Arthit's plate and then Arthit would do the same while remaining un-bothered talking with Prem. Prem looked used to it anyway, and this simple gesture makes me smile. Kit on the other hand watches them timidly, maybe he's in wonder how carefree they are about these little gestures. I look at Ming who glanced at Jan and Mark doing the same thing and noticed that Kongpob and Arthit aren't the only couple who does that, and he must have felt me staring because he turned to me and I grinned and mouthed "Feed him!" and gave an encouraging nod. Ming smiled back and did exactly what I said. Kit looked flustered at first but opened his mouth anyway then Ming looked back at me and gave a thumbs up and then he joined the their conversation again.

I look at everybody around me having a nice time, even though some of them are leaving in an hour or so and unconsciously, I smile to myself. Things like this make me wonder,  would things have happened differently if I was not here right now? What if I really did die that day?

I wonder what Pha and Kit would feel if I was really gone. Would they find a new friend to replace me? Will it still be the same?

I keep wondering what it's like if Forth and I aren't together then he and Pha had no reason to be friends, just people who knew each other from that competition.

Or what if I didn't go with Forth to that drinking session that night and let Pha take me back to my dorm? I remembered how worried he was before leaving me with Forth in front of that pharmacy.

Or what if..

Suddenly, I feel someone's hand gently squeeze my leg from under the table and I snap back to the reality that's happening right in front of me.

''Are you okay?'' Forth leans and whispers to my ear.

''I am now.'' I whisper back and he gives me a curious look. I grinned. ''Look at my friends and yours, they're having fun."

He frowns. ''No. Our friends.'' He corrects me, still whispering. "Don't you know we're all here because of you?"

I frown back. "Why me?"

"I wouldn't be here if we're not together and my cousins wouldn't be having lunch with us right now if not for that same reason. We're all here because of you. You link us all together.'' he jerked his head to Pha and Pick who were laughing while talking about something related to bleeding, then to Mark and Knot who were still very much in deep conversation about robotics. ''See?''

I smile and he squeezes my hand this time before Mark took his attention and they started talking about car models and engines and horsepowers and numbers and I got into an interesting conversation with Rome, Toota and Yo about cakes and sweets and for some reason, chap stick flavors, and there was Bright occasionally interrupting everyone with his comical antics. Forth doesn't let go of my hand until it was time to leave and send his cousins home.

He was right I guess. I mean, I'll never know what would have happened if I wasn't alive right now, but what's important is that I am here, witnessing how my friends become friends with the people that treats me as a friend too, maybe more than that, maybe family. And besides, even if I'm still curious about that, i'll never trade this memory for anything else. They're not just my friends anymore and they are just not his friend and family anymore. They are our friends.

I've always heard people say that you shouldn't look back, but then sometimes it's also important to see how far you've come. And seeing this, right here right now, they make me glad I'm alive.

[A/N: Whoever is reading this, make sure you stay close to the people who make you glad you're alive. 👍]

**

••PHANA••

"I've never seen you this happy. You really love him, don't you?"

I asked Beam to come join me to watch the ocean from the terrace. We've just came back from sending off Forth's cousins and went to the local souvenir shops and then we went back to our villa. Forth was cooking early dinner with Mark and Jan so i took him to come with me upstairs while everyone is doing their own thing. Only the two of us. I can't remember the last time we've talked about serious matters and i also can't remember the last time I've seen him this happy.

We lean on the railings, he bites the inside of his cheek, his eyes remained on the water splashing to the shore. Then he smiles sheepishly. "Am I too obvious?"

I smile back. "Hmm. More or less."

"So this is what it feels huh." He says again after remaining silent for a moment.

I smile again. "Yeah. More or less."

"It feels good." He turned to me, smiling widely. "I like it."

"I know." My smile was as wide as his.

But he frowned, like he's trying to remember something he had forgotten to do. "But I'm scared, Ai'Pha."

"Of what?" I looked him in the eyes. "Is that why there are fading bruises on your thighs?"

He looked down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make it go away. I'm tired of it."

"The nightmares?"

He sighed. The smile I witnessed two minutes before had vanished and now replaced by a tired looking stare. "They still come. It takes me by surprise and I just find myself sobbing and breathless sometimes. But at least they don't come every night like they used to. Those times were absolute hell."

"What are the nightmares about?"

He sighed deeply. "The usual."

I can sense his hesitation to tell me more but I press on. "The one where he leaves?"

He nods. "The one where everyone leaves. It gets more scary every time it comes back cause they feel more real than they did the last time. More painful too. It started when I became happy again -- or at least pretended to be. I tried to ignore it but then every time he looks away, even just for one second I get scared that maybe he wouldn't look at me the same way anymore. It's driving me crazy."

"But do you trust him?"

He tried to open his mouth to say something but closed it again and stared at me. I stared back into his eyes, waiting. Finally he said, "I hate myself."

"I thought we're way past that point."

"Doesn't make it less true. I can't trust him because it's me who I don't trust. You can't —

"You can't give what you don't have." I finished the sentence for him.

"Yeah. That."

"I know it's hard. But you have to try. You've come this far. Try, okay?" He looked up at me, eyes shining with hope. I look away. "I know I don't seem like it but I trust that little shit. He won't leave you because I trust him." He smiles again, probably in awe that I confessed that I treat his boyfriend like a brother now that he had proven himself. "And if ever I'm wrong, I'll just go ahead and murder him with a scalpel."

"And I will help you hide his body."

We turned around and Kit emerges from behind the glass door that's covered by the curtains. He walks towards us and leaned on the railing too, Beam between us. "What are we talking about?" He asked sarcastically.

"How long have you been listening?" I eyed him suspiciously, he smirked.

"I just heard you wanted to murder someone and I figured you need someone to help you hide the body." He peered from beside Beam. "What are friends for, right?"

I'm still not convinced. "Are you sure that's all you heard?"

He grins at me this time, the way he always does when he knows something I don't. "Yeah. More or less."

"You little shit!" I laughed with disbelief as I attempted to splash him with the beer contents of my bottle. Beam couldn't help the laughter bubbling out of him.

He dodged the splash and made Beam as the barrier between us. "Hey! I'm your friend too! You should have included me in your little heart to heart! I feel left out!"

"You were busy with Mingkwan!"

"No I wasn't!"

I splashed beer onto him again but he dodged and the liquid hit Beam in the face because he was taller than Kit.

"What the -- HEY! Play nice!" Beam yells.

It felt like high school all over again as me and Kit sat on the floor clutching our stomach from laughing too hard, Beam towering over us with his chin dripping with the liquor I accidentally splashed on him as we laughed more and more at his failed attempts to shut us up.

Two seconds later, he finally gave up and started laughing with us.

**

••FORTH••

Is it weird that your boyfriend's best friend plans to murder you with a scalpel and his other best friend offered to help hide your body?

Or did I hear them wrong?

But even if I wanted to know I can't ask them that now. Call me nosy but I wished I could have stayed longer and heard more of the conversation.

I went up the to the second floor because I wanted to ask Beam something, then I saw Kit  peeking from behind the curtains, I was going to ask him what he was doing but I heard Pha saying he's gonna murder someone with a scalpel and then Kit said he's going to help hide the body while he emerged from behind the curtain, failing to notice I was not far behind him. Only then did I figure out they were talking about me. But I felt like it was a private conversation between them so I went back and helped Mark and Jan and waited for them to come down instead.

And now here we are, on the terrace around the bonfire with drinks on our hands. I kept zoning out so I don't know how long since we've started this get together. It's a good thing my cousins have gone home after lunch or else this could have been chaos. I can't imagine dealing with eighteen people talking at the same time. Plus, Lam can't be with Bright when there is alcohol because the noise they could make is worth ten people.

I felt Beam nudge me. "Are you okay?"

I nodded.

"Sure?" He frowns.

I nodded again and then I looked him straight in the eye but unlike any other times, he didn't look away. He gazed back, like he was trying to see through my eyes and read my mind. The light from the bonfire illuminating half his face.

Aside from finding how pretty he looked, what else should I feel?

I don't know how long we did that until I felt the sound of everyone's conversations around us go quiet.

Have I crossed all the walls he built since the very first day? Am I in the very center now?

"UGH! JUST KISS ALREADY!" Lam groaned, making us break eye contact and stare at all of them.

Mark threw a beer cap at Lam while Beam threw him a glare. And then he grins.

"Was I supposed to shut my mouth?" He asks, sheepishly scratching his head.

Everyone nodded.

"Oh."

Lam only acts like this when he gets alcohol in his system. But then again there's always alcohol in his system so I guess that's just him now. Alcohol can't be blamed for everything.

I look at Pha this time, he and Wayo are across from me and Beam, on the other side of the bonfire, he must have felt me staring so he looked back at me and raised a questioning brow. I wanted to talk to him, but maybe not right now, so I just rolled my eyes and he smirked back before turning his attention to his yawning boyfriend.

Beam was leaning to me, his elbow propped up on my left thigh and his hair tickling my jaw, they we're all laughing at something Mark said. Jan was in the same position as Beam, but unlike me, she was paying attention to them.

What I heard sort of bothered me, but it's not because I was afraid of Phana actually wanting to murder me but in the time that I know him, he wouldn't say that if they weren't talking about something serious. Maybe something about our relationship is still bothering Beam.

*****

"Guys! Ssssshhhuutuuppph!!" Lam says while everyone was in the middle of laughing at an old story Mark told us. "The neighbors might get maadd!!"

It was almost two in the morning and every one (maybe except me and Jan and Mark) looks like they're one bottle away from getting into drunk unconsciousness.

"This is practically a fucking island what neighbors are you talking about.." Someone said boredly, Art maybe.

"Oh. What about the marine animals?"

"I'm going to feed you to the sharks if you two don't shut up.." This time it was Mark.

"Don't listen to him, there are no sharks here." Lam whispered to no one in particular, cupping a hand to his mouth but everyone heard him anyway.

"How about a whale?"

I was grinning like an idiot watching my friends argue about silly things. My cheek rested on Beam's head.

"Tss. Whales don't eat people you clueless bastard."

Jan and Mark was giggling at them too.

"A whale ate pinnochio you dum-dum." Lam stated, as if it was something that sounds so obvious.

"Pinnochio was a piece of wood! What are you? Five? Learn the damn story!" He chucked a beer cap at Lam.

"Oi kids, play nice!" Mark said through giggles as Jan kept hitting him while she was laughing.

My body shook as I laughed with them, then Beam's head rolled off from resting on my shoulder and that's when I realized that Beam had fallen asleep. He already had too much to drink.

I checked the time on my phone, it says 2:27AM. Time to rest.

I tapped Beam's cheek to wake him up. His eyelids fluttered heavily after I tapped for the third time.

"Let's get you to bed." I said. "Come on."

Beam's eyes fluttered heavily and zeroed at me then looked around and squinted when he spotted Pha, Pha only grinned at him, then he looked back at me. "Who are you? Pha who is this?"

Shit. Not again.

"Uh oh" Ming said. "Here we go again." Everyone else giggled and/or hiccuped.

"My name is Forth. I'm your boyfriend." I whispered to his ear but then again maybe everyone heard me.

"Really? That's cool!" Beam says sleepily but he's trying to remain awake.

Cute.

"Does that happen every time he gets drunk?" Someone asked from behind me.

"I know. I know." I soothed as I tried to support him to stand up. "Now we'll stand up and get to bed."

"Okay from now on.." He groggily tried to stand up and grab onto me, "you..are my favorite boyfriend.."

We started walking towards the glass door. "Baby, I'm your only boyfriend -- now slightly lift your feet up.." This is like teaching a child how to walk. "..now the other.."

He stumbles but I'm grabbing firmly at him. "Oh. That explains a lot."

That earned a lazy laugh from everyone behind us.

"Hey are you coming back?" Mark asked.

"Maybe! I'm not even that drunk yet!" I say distractedly as I tried to support Beam.

"He's not!" Beam yells back.

"He's so cute." I heard Jan say as we disappeared from the curtains.

I open the door and we stumbled inside. Then I grunt as I lift him onto the bed and take off his slippers.

I heard him took a deep breath as he wiggled to be in a comfortable position. "Hey boyfriend.."

I turned to him to see if he's really asleep.

"I hope you want to stay for a really long time.."

"Tch. Who says I'm going anywhere?" I mumbled as I start to cover him with the blanket from the foot of the bed.

"..Cause my heart really likes you.."

That made me stop at first, then all I could do was lean down to him and kiss his forehead.

"My heart likes you too." I whispered.

••TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT CHAPTER••