~Chapter 17 - Sarah ~

Taking a deep breath, I let it out through my nose and till I was able to breathe again. I was tired and weary of everything. To top it off, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes, they were big and fat, began rolling down my face. I wiped them quickly away. What did I say to that? Really? It was nothing compared to what Hyde did to me. I can't even begin to describe what that was. I need to forget.

"To be honest, I should just run and hide from everything I've been through."

The doctor looked surprised. I think I must've caught him off guard for the moment. He seemed quite, still, unsure of what to say next.

"But I can't..." I reassured the doctor. I think if I did leave Christian, it would cut to the quick for him and I. He was a part of me, and I was a part of him. Leaving would kill us both. "He saved me." Why would I want to leave him?

When we came back to the penthouse last night, I tried blocking out everything that Hyde did to me, but the one thing that I was sure about, actually clear on, Christian saved me. It was all I had wanted being held captive. I would imagine him kicking the doors down and rescuing me. To be in his arms. Protected.

The moment I saw him, I ran to him, clinging to him, and crying happy tears.

"We have a connection that I've never had with anyone – I love him."

The memory of Ana coming to my rescue shot to the forefront of my mind. She asked me what Hyde did. I lied. I did not want her to worry nor did I want Christian to either. I just wanted out of that horrible place. I keep seeing it in my dreams. No, my nightmares. It kept replaying like someone hit the rewind button.

Will it ever stop?

I think that was why I pushed Christian away last night, keeping him at arm's length. I couldn't tell him what happened, but I know he suspected something. What good will it do to say it him now? Hyde is dead and gone. My experience with Hyde would go no further than Flynn if he asked. If not, it shall stay with me.

"How do you feel about his secret?"

I knew that was coming.

"How do I feel?" I had to think really about that, dig deep inside me, allow myself to feel what I had pushed down deep. I swallowed nervously, fidgeting with my hands in my lap. The doctor was so patient with me as he waited for me to speak. "The sex with Christian is beyond anything I've ever experienced; to explore it on a deeper, more sensual level that definitely interests me. That was never the issue."

I knew I didn't exactly answer his question. I could tell he was about to ask the question again.

"How did you feel?"

"It took me by surprise when Elena told me."

It wasn't so much the idea of Christian and BDSM; a lot of people are into that and have healthy relationships. It was Elena telling me. That was what hit me the hardest. It felt like she sucker punched me in the gut, I couldn't breathe. He just sat there being subservient to Elena. That just made it worse for me. It was the last straw, I bolted up from my chair, and I ran.

"I had to hear it from Elena instead of him. I know he was trying to tell me, but she butted in. Wouldn't let him even speak, and he let her. That doesn't sit well with me. I wanted to hear from him."

Dr. Flynn scribbled on his pad.

"How did you feel about Elena being the one to break the secret?"

"Oh, doc, you don't want to know how I am feeling about that!"

If I ever catch that woman anywhere near Christian or I, she and I were going to have a word.

"Sounds as if you have some unexplored anger against Elena."

"OH, you bet I have unexplored anger, doc."

"Tell me a little bit about it."

Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak to him, Taylor interrupted us. He was dressed impeccably in a dark suit and matching tie. His crew cut was perfectly cut. "I am sorry to interrupt, ma'am, but we will be having company in a few minutes."

Wait, Christian was here? Did he hear us talking? My anxiety spiked up, my hands started shaking, and I fidgeted with them to stop them. I had to ask, "How long have you and Christian been home?"

"We got back here a little after 5."

"Oh..." I was saddened that Christian didn't interrupt us. I stared out at the bright, blue skyline, ignoring both men for the moment. I fixated on a fluffy cloud, imagining that I was on it, drifting away from all the chaos.

"Sarah?" The doctor interrupted. "What's wrong?"

Finally, I dragged my gaze away from the clouds and glanced at the doctor then at Taylor. They were waiting for me to speak I think. "I'm fine. Just lost in thought."

Taylor could tell I was upset. I must have given it away with the sadness etched all over my face. "Ma'am, it's not that he didn't want to interrupt, he thought it best to let you have your session and see you after. And discuss then if you wished too."

Wow. Does he have a power I don't know about?

"Thank you." I think. "You were saying we had company?"

Taylor nodded, saying, "Yes, ma'am. Detective LaGrange is on her way up."

What? Again? Why does that woman keep coming?

"Thank you, Taylor. Did you tell Christian?"

"No, I haven't. I'm on my way." Taylor gave me a curt nod, backed out of the living room, and headed to Christian's office.

Rising to his feet, Dr. Flynn said just as I stood up, "That effectively ends our session today. I will see you in a few days, and we can talk some more. Call my office and make an appointment. Christian has my number." He gave me a small smile, and he started for the elevator but stopped to glance back at me. "If I may, before I go, Christian is a good man. He has had some demons that he let get away after Ana and Teddy's death, but when he met you, you've chased them away. Don't push him away after this experience. Let him help you. He understands more than you know."

I think I needed that reminder. Christian did know the demons far better than even I did. "Thank you, Dr. Flynn." I held out my hand to him; he placed his in mine, and we shook hands.

"Until we meet again." Dr. Flynn smiled brightly and nodded at me as he walked towards the elevator.

When the elevator opened up, LaGrange exited just as Dr. Flynn entered. He reached for the down button, and the doors closed.

"Sarah..." Detective LaGrange made her way over to me. "I'm so glad I caught you here tonight. I would like to ask you a few questions. "

"I've said all I'm going to say." I headed over to the elevator, pushing the down button, hoping it would get her to leave. "Now you need to go."

The detective was pretty in her way, but that bun wasn't doing it for her. It made her look like an old school marm or something with her manly look.

"If you won't answer any questions for me, I just wanted to give you heads up..." The detective murmured as she looked around the penthouse. Whom was she looking for, Christian? "The DA is out for blood in this case, and he doesn't care who is in the way. That means you." She pointed at me as if to make her point.

What was she doing? Fishing for evidence?

"So if you know anything, now is the time to tell me. I can help you."

Help me? What could you possibly help me with?

"Get out."

I was tired of her already.

"No...see...I think you're hiding something from me." The detective circled me as if I were her prey. Maybe I was. "And you'd do anything to protect him and his flunkies. I think they'd do the same for him. Maybe it's the money; I don't know. I've seen how that can change one's perspective on things."

Dammit. The bitch. "What the hell are you insinuating, Detective LaGrange?"

"I'm just trying to help you, Sarah."

"No, I think you're attempting to wheedle something out of me so I can incriminate Christian."

I won't do that to him.

"Get out!" Christian ordered as he came up to us. "Don't come back without a warrant."

The detective shrugged, stepped into the elevator, and glanced at me. "Your funeral." She reached for the button, pressed it as the doors closed.

"Oh my god, the nerve of that woman!" I turned towards Christian.

"Are you okay?" Christian reached for me, pulling me into his arms, and checking me over.

The detective was right. I would do whatever I could to protect him. I know that he would do the same thing. He proved that when he burst through the door to find me.

"I fine now." I wrapped my arms around him, settling into him. "Now that you're here."

It felt good to be in his arms. I don't know why I thought I could go at this alone. Dr. Flynn was right, I needed Christian, and he needed me.

We stood there momentarily and then his cellphone buzzed between us. He stepped back, but I did not want him to, and I pulled him back to me.

"I apologize for this. I am expecting a call. I will make it quick." Christian gave me a kiss on the top of my head, reached into his pocket to get his phone, and answered it as he left the room.

"Is everything okay?"

Just hearing the voice made me jumped back away from him and it made me yelp. I turned around to see that it was Ana. "Jesus Ana." I glanced around, hoping it didn't alert anyone in the penthouse.

Ana let it out a giggle. "Seems I'm scaring everyone today."

I'm not sure what that was about, but I choose to ignore it. "Where have you been?"

"Just saying goodbye to someone." The tears glistened in her eyes.

That person she was saying goodbye to must have been Ana. I bet he did not want her to leave yet. I know I didn't want her to go. She had become a friend. What was I going to do without her?

"You're leaving already? You just got here."

What could I do for her? She had done so much Christian and me.

"I have to go. I've done everything I set out to do."

"What can I do for you? You've done so much for us."

"Just be happy and love one another."

Smiling at her, I nodded, tears springing to my eyes. "I will. Thank you, Ana."

Her image flashed on and off for a moment, then completely disappeared.

"Goodbye, Ana. I will miss you."

As I stood there looking at the spot Ana had been at moments before, I wiped the tears away that spilled over and down my cheeks.

"Sarah..." Not expecting anyone else to call me, I jumped, and turned to see Gail. She was dressed in a white shirt and black slacks. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking. What can I help you with?"

"What would you and Mr. Grey like for dinner?"

"Something light. I'm not that hungry."

"A salad and sandwich then?"

"That sounds great. Thank you."

Gail gave me a nodded and headed back into the kitchen.

As I turned to head go the bedroom, the elevator doors opened, and several men in suits stepped out walking towards me. I thought I saw Detective LaGrange behind all those men. Hiding.

"Sarah Reynolds?" A short, fat, balding detective that was breathing heavy and dressed in a suit that was two sizes too small. His stomach was hanging over the waist.

Detectives LaGrange had warned us this was going to happen.

"Yes?" Did it have to be so soon?

"Have a warrant for your arrest." The detective handed me the warrant.

"What?" I said bewildered. "I told you everything that happened."

"You have right to remain silent..." The detective reached into his pocket, pulling out his cuffs, forced me to turn around, and slapped the cold, hard metal on my wrists hard, and clinched them till they pinched.

"CHRISTIAN!" I screamed out. I was shaking. I thought I was going to pass out.

The other detectives had dispersed all around the penthouse.

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law..." I don't even know what he was saying. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart. And then I saw Christian, Taylor, Gail, and a few of the other security men all in handcuffs. What the hell? "Do you understand these rights as I have given them?"

"What?" I shook my head."

"Do you understand?"

"Y-yes."

The detectives forcefully pushed into the elevator. I don't know how everyone fit in, but we did. Bodies upon bodies, it was a tight fight.

Glancing over at Christian, he gave me a reassuring smile. "It will be okay, baby. Don't worry. Don't say anything until our lawyer gets to the station."

I nodded quickly. I just wanted his arms around me, protecting me like he had when he saved me. I craved his touch. I needed it. I couldn't move with all these people around us. The cuffs were biting into my skin. It hurt. My arms were throbbing. How horrible was that? We were to be paraded in front of the paparazzi. The whole world was going to see us as murderers. Oh god, it was going to be awful before getting better.

As the elevator doors closed,  I wondered what was going to happen now.