~Chapter 16 - Christian ~

It had only been a few days since I killed Hyde in self-defense. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I have to deal with the fucking fallout. The cops have been on my case, trying to pin it on me. Yep, they've declared it a homicide. I've been to the precinct many times. They've come to my home and o my business. I think the DA was looking to pin it on me since he was up for reelection this year.

In my mind, I could see the headlines now: 'The DA had Christian Grey, billionaire, arrested for killing the man who killed his wife and child and kidnapped his current girlfriend. More details at 11'clock. Fuck. That alone would ruin me. Clients would drop off the face of the earth. My business would hit the shits quick. It would be literal hell.

But none of that mattered to me if I did not have Sarah. And that was hanging on by a thread. Despite me saving her from the fucker Hyde, Sarah was trouble trusting me. Oh, she said everything was fine now that I was here with her, but things had changed between us. She was pulling away from me. Was she upset with me about not telling her the truth?

Sarah had every right to be upset with me. It was my fucking fault that I let Elena back into my life which led Hyde back in. I knew the consequences, but I didn't care. I just wanted companionship. I was desperate for it. I missed Ana and Teddy, but I couldn't just let well enough alone. I should have just let everything play out in time. Maybe Hyde would have stayed in jail and rotted away. Who knows, maybe I would have met Sarah on my own without an Angel intervening. Thank you by the way.

After arriving home last night, I reached down for her hand, but Sarah pulled away quickly. Okay, that stung a bit. I frowned at her. All I wanted to do was show her I was here, but it was understandable for what she went through...What I put her through, indirectly.

"Why don't we go, sit, and talk for a bit." I know it was too early, but maybe we could talk about it, lay it all out there, we could deal with it, and maybe slowly move on.

Sarah let out a sad, wary sigh. "I don't want to talk about it right now. I just want a hot bath and go to bed. I just want to forget."

"I understand." I just nodded and watched her disappear into the bedroom, her feet padding on the tile floor.

I knew what Sarah was doing. I've done it many times. I knew how unhealthy it was to let that shit sit, churn and fester inside you till it bursts. All that rage, she needed Flynn if she didn't want me to help her.

What was that? I turned towards my bedroom. It was all around me echoing, through me, inside and out. It was Sarah weeping. It was breaking my heart.

"Sarah..." I rushed into the bathroom.

"Sarah..." I stood in the doorway watching her crying as she leaned up against the tub.

Sarah glanced up at me with those sad, red eyes, as big fat tears slipped down her pretty face.

Rushing to her side, I knelt down next to her, wrapping my arms around her, and holding her close to me. "I'm here."

"Why can't I forget?" Her strangling question sat in the air between us.

How did I answer something like that?

Sarah gripped my shirt tightly as if she was trying to crawl inside me to get closer to me, crying uncontrollably. Her body rocked, shivered through all her of tears, till she had no more tears to cry. We did not move; we stayed in the same spot.

After a while, I could feel and hear her slow, evening breathing, and I knew she had fallen asleep.

What did the fucker do to you?

Tears, warm and wet, slid down my face. I did want to think of all the possible ways Hyde could have hurt her. If I had not killed Hyde in self-defense, I would have killed him in cold blood. He took Ana and Teddy from me, and he tried to take Sarah from me too. The fucker got what he deserved.

The devastation will stay with us, and I don't know how we will get through it. Did she tell Ana what happened? God, I hope so, because I don't think she would tell me.

My tears subsided for the moment. I did not want her to see me crying. Sarah needed me to be strong for her. Standing up carefully so as to not jostle her, I made my way into the bedroom. Once I read for the bed, I gently set her down on the bed, covering her up with a throw.

Leaning in, I softly placed my lips on her delicate cheek, kissing her. As I stepped back, Sarah stirred momentarily, calling out my name.

"Shhh...I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." I moved to the other side of the bed, crawling in next to her, and watched her sleep.

Sarah was an angel. So soft, so gentle, and beautiful inside and out. There was a glow about her when she slept. To see her relaxed, relaxed me and I felt myself drift off to sleep. I did not realize just how exhausted I had been.

I don't know how long I had been sleeping when my eyes fluttered open. I rolled over and reached over to feel for Sarah, but she was already up. With a sigh, I sat up in bed, swung my legs to the side of the bed, and stood up.

When I headed for the bathroom, I noticed the blood on my dress shirt. Hyde's blood. I stared at it a moment before ripped it off of me. I watched the buttons pop off and fly through the air. At that point, I did not care where they landed and then tossed it in the trash.

I unbuttoned my pants, slide them off of me, and stepped out of them along with my boxers. I walked over to the shower, turned on the hot water, stepped inside it, hoping the water would wash away what happened yesterday.

An hour later, I walked out of the bedroom, cleaned, and refreshed, but the horrors of yesterday still very much apartment of me. Making my way over to the breakfast bar, I saw that Sarah was eating, but keeping to herself. She must have taken a shower, her hair dripping wet on my white tee shirt and old sweats. On her, she still looked beautiful, but I could tell she was feeling anything but that.

"Hi..." I slipped in next to her at the breakfast bar.

Sarah glanced up at me, haunted look on her face. Deep, dark circles were under her eyes. Had she never slept well? Then I remembered, she woke up in the middle of the night screaming from a nightmare. Had she aged? What did he do to you?

"Hi..." Sarah finally said to me.

"Omelet, Mr. Grey?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

Mrs. Jones went about to her task of making the omelet.

"I spoke with Flynn a little while ago. He's coming over."

Sarah turned towards me, anger in her eyes. "I did not ask you to do that."

"I know." I overstepped my bounds; I knew it. "I just want you to talk with him, okay. If it doesn't work out, then we will try something else."

Mrs. Jones set my plate and coffee in front of me, and I didn't say any more to Sarah about Dr. Flynn. If it didn't work out, there was always Ana. Where did she go? I knew she had been with us.

I heard my office phone buzzing at me, dragging me back to the present. What the hell? I had wasted all morning just sitting here looking out at Seattle, though not seeing anything. I did finally notice the sky was crystal blue with big, puffy, white clouds. It was a beautiful day. I took one last look the buildings; they were all different shapes, sizes, and colors all nestled around my building. I could see everything for miles.

Tearing my gaze away from the city skyline, I swiveled around in my chair and pushed the button on the phone. "WHAT?" I snarled at the receptionist.

"Detective LaGrange is here."

Shit! I did not need that woman in my office. She was a god damned pest who needed to be swatted.

"Send her in." I pushed the button off to end the conversation.

What else could I do? I couldn't ignore her, or it would look like I was guilty.

The doors opened and in walked LaGrange, a redhead dressed in a black suit and a severe bun. She was in her twenties and very petite. I glanced at her closely realizing she had a slim line nose, high cheek bones and big lips. If she had not had the severe bun, she'd been pretty.

"Mr. Grey," She said in her deep voice.

"Detective LaGrange..." I didn't move from my chair; I just kept a watchful eye on her.

The detective reached into her jacket and pulled out a pen and a paid. Oh here go, more questions. Haven't I answered all of them? "I have some more questions for you," She stated the obvious.

"Obviously," I said sardonically with the roll of my eyes. "Look LaGrange, I already answered all your questions. I'm not answering anything further without my attorney."

"Got something to hide, Grey?" She taunted.

"I have answered all the questions you have thrown at me. My girlfriend has given you a statement. My security has given a statement. Shouldn't that be enough?"

The detective smirked at me as if she knew something I didn't. "That DA is not satisfied with any of the statements." She placed her notepad in her pocket once again knowing the question and answer bit was over. "Besides, they could easily be lying for you."

Feeling the blood rise within me, I took a deep breath. I did not need her shit today. "The evidence will exonerate me."

"Your prints are all over the weapon, Mr. Grey." LaGrange egged me on. "You pulled the trigger. You killed the man who killed your wife and child."

They had nothing. Why else would she be here goading me?

"You're a murder, and I'm going to prove it. By the end of the week, you're going to be in county lock up."

Finally having had it with the detective, I stood up, beyond irritated with her, "Detective, I think you need to leave...now." I pushed away from my desk and stood up.

She overstayed her welcome.

"We will be in touch, Mr. Grey." LaGrange smiled on the way out.

The woman was on a mission, and she was not going to stop until she brought me down.

Turning towards my assistant, I said to her, "If Detective LaGrange comes by, here again, you are to call my attorney."

"Yes, sir."

Heading back into my office, I grumpily called out, "Where the hell is my coffee?" It was going to be a long day I thought as I slammed the door shut.

The detective soured my mood. I did not even want to be at work today, but there was a stack of papers that needed my attention. First I was going to call Sarah and check up on her. Had not heard from her since this morning and wanted to know if her session with Flynn was going well. Or if she turned him away.

Pulling my phone from front pocket, I hit speed dial and waited. After a moment, it went straight to voicemail. Was Sarah ignoring me? Or was Flynn there right now? When her message was finished, I left mine. "Hey, baby..." I walked over to my desk, sitting down in my chair, and pulled my chair closer to the desk. "Hope you're having a great day. Miss you. Let me know how your session with Flynn went, if you called him. Also, LaGrange stopped by here a few moments ago. Just wanted to give you a heads up in case she comes by the penthouse. See you later." I ended the call and set the phone on the desk.

I looked at the stack in front of me, sighed deeply, and drove in. An hour into working, my phone buzzed. A text had come in. It was from Sarah.

Sorry, I didn't answer your call earlier. Luke and I were dealing with the press that snuck up here. I don't know how they got up here since Luke and Taylor secured the elevator earlier. Ryan and Reynolds secured the back entrance. Mrs. Jones has been dealing with the phone since your left. I think she's just now able to shut it off. If you come back early, please be careful. Love you. Oh, Flynn is here. He is giving me an extra-long session. So if I don't answer your calls or text, I'm not ignoring you. As far as LaGrange is concerned, Luke can deal with her. I want nothing to do with her.

Damn paparazzo! I am sorry. I'm going to have Taylor up the security for here at the office at home. Maybe we'll move to the mansion for the time being till this over. We will be safer there. I will speak with Taylor about the security issue and LaGrange. Don't you worry, baby? Have a good session with Flynn. He's good people. He helped me many a times when I needed it. Love you.

I hit sent, and I typed out a quick text to Taylor.

Security issue at the penthouse. Needs to be addressed with the team ASAP. Can't have paparazzi sneaking up to the penthouse upsetting Sarah or Gail. Be prepared for a move back to the mansion.

Hit Sent. Taylor replied.

Already on it sir. Spoke to the team earlier. We have taken care of the issue. Paparazzi will not be able to get to the penthouse. I have also taken the liberty of changing the home phone as well. It will be unlisted. Only you, staff and Sarah will have it. Will let you know the number later. I will update the rest of the staff ASAP on the issue. And just an FYI, the press is stationed at the front door of GE. At five, will meet you at the back entrance and we will head home. Ryan tells me that they're camped out at home too. So we'll take the back entrance there as well. As far as the mansion, I had a feeling that it would come to that. Alerted the staff that it was possible. So things are a good there, and we will go on your say. See you at five.

Taylor was the best. He knew my wants and my needs better than any other staff I have had. When all that shit with the police was over, he and Gail will be compensated well, and I owe it to send them on a nice vacation too. Somewhere tropical. Just the two of them. They deserved it. Maybe Johnny Depp's island was available for a few weeks.

Work was calling me to me, and I returned to it. A few hours later, the stack of papers was completed, and I turned to the computer, going through all the emails that had accumulated throughout the morning. When that was complete, I realize it was after five. Time to go home to Sarah.

I pushed away from the desk, stood up, and stretched. I had worked all through the day to get everything completed without much of a break. My assistant brought me a sandwich earlier to have some sustenance in my system. With the press outside, it would have been difficult to head out into the craziness.

As I left my office, I headed down the back hall, meeting Taylor at the service elevator.

"Taylor." I gestured my head towards him.

"Sir." Taylor pressed the down button on the elevator door.

There was ding when the door opened up.

"Grey!" A deep voice shouted at us. "There he is!"

Immediately Taylor and I turned to see the paparazzi coming towards us.

"In the elevator now," Taylor ordered, ushered us inside, and hit the button to close the door.

"How do you feel about..." The door finally closed on the paparazzo.

"Sorry about that sir. I checked and secured all the entrances myself."

Taking a deep breath in through my door, I let it out dejectedly. Paparazzi were sneaky, and they were smart. "It is not your fault, Taylor. They come out of the woodwork. Nothing you can do."

I knew Taylor. I knew he felt bad about what happened. At least, we weren't in danger.

The door to the elevator opened a moment later. We stepped out and the doors closed behind us.

"Stay there."

Taylor disappeared down the hallway, stopping at each door, checking them. Once everything was secured, he motioned for me to follow him. When I finally reached him, he held the door open to the back alley, looking up and down the alleyway, and beckoned me to the open door to the backseat. I slid in, and he closed the door.

Taylor got in on the driver side, started the car, and drove away. Within minutes, we were driving by Escala. The paparazzi was everywhere. Each one was taking a picture of the car, hoping to catch me as we drove into the garage. They raced towards us, but the garage door closed.

We parked in the parking spot a moment later. Ryan opened the door with Reynolds flanking him.

"It is safe right now," Ryan said to me.

Taylor was with us a moment later ushering me towards the service elevator. All three men were watching all available exits for possible threats.

"The paparazzi are in the lobby," Ryan informed us.

"Luke is in the penthouse," Reynolds said a moment later, knowing I was about to ask if he was with Sarah.

We hurried into the elevator. It was slow going up as we hit each floor. Before long, we the doors opened, and we stepped out into the hallway. Taylor was behind me while Ryan was in front of me. Reynolds checked each of the doors, securing them, much like Taylor had done before we left GEH. Everything seemed safe as we entered the back door to the penthouse.

"I'm okay." I dismissed the team and walked the rest of the way down the hallway.

As I made my way down the hallway, I could hear Flynn and Sarah talking. I know I should just head right to my office, but I walked into the great room and sat down at the gray bench by the doorway. The large windy staircase in front of me concealed my presence.

"How do you feel about everything that has happened?"

No. It wasn't right. I needed to get up and go to the office. What I was doing was invading her privacy, and I did not want to do that. I wanted her to be able to trust me after everything. But I couldn't move. I was frozen, frozen in fear. I could not lose her. I loved her. It nearly killed me when Ana and Teddy died.

Sarah took a deep breath and let it out through her nose. It was a tired and weary shy like she was ready to cry. I think I even hear a little sniffle from her. It was quiet there for a few minutes. I think that she was probably gathering her thoughts. "To be honest, I should just run and hide from everything I've been through."

That revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Did she feel like that?

"But I can't. He saved me."

How could she want to leave me?

"We have a connection that I've never had with anyone. I love him."

I smiled at that. I felt the same way.

"How do you feel about his secret?"

Christian get your ass up and give Sarah the privacy she needs. You don't need to know how she feels this way. Listening in on her session was an ultimate betrayal. And she had a lifetime of that shit.

"What are you doing here listening to her?"

What?

That familiar voice made me look up. It was Ana. I don't think I will ever get used to her popping in whenever the hell she felt like it, but it was nice that she still cared about me.

Standing in front of me, Ana had her hands on her hips, and boy did she looked pissed. I've been on the receiving end of those looks and they meant business. God, I missed that about her. I missed her period.

"How long have you been listening to her?"

I felt guilty enough, I did not need for you to make me feel guiltier.

"Too long." Finally, I stood up, glanced at Sarah, longing for her at the moment, then I glanced back at Ana. "I'm going."

Carefully, quietly, I went straight to my office, and I closed the door softly. Should I be honest with her about eavesdropping or should I just keep it to myself? If I did tell her, she'd be pissed, but eventually, she would forgive me. If I kept it to myself and she found out, that might be the end of my relationship with here. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. Shit!

With a deep, tired sigh, I made my way over to my desk, sitting down in the chair hating myself for putting her in another position to hate me.

"Sarah will not hate you."

I nearly jumped out of my seat. Shit. She startled me! My hand flew to my heart, it felt like it missed a beat. My breathing increasing as if I had been running through Seattle. It took me a minute or so to calm down.

"Jesus Christ, Ana. You scared the shit out of me! You can't just come in here like that whenever you like." That was harsh, I knew, but dammit, she scared me.

The pearls of her giggles put a smile on my face, reminding me of our happier times. "I missed that...I miss you."

"I miss you too, but I'm not going anywhere." Ana made her way over to me and I turned in my chair to face her. She was still pretty as ever. Her chestnut hair glistened in the light, the blue in her eyes sparkled happily back at me. "I'm never far away from you." Her hand hovered over my heart, my pulse quickened. "I will always be in your heart. You have room to love both Sarah and I."

"After everything happened...I don't think she will forgive me."

"Just give her time, she will forgive you." Ana stepped back. "I did. And we had wonderful life together." Sadness crossed her beautiful face and I stood up, face to face with her, looking into her eyes.

"Baby I will never forget you. I love you. I always will."

"I love you. That will never change."

We stood there in each other's gazes, remembering our time together, knowing it was going to come to an end at any moment.