~Chapter 10 - Sarah ~

The sun was shining brightly up in the sky and no cloud in sight. There was just enough wind to push us on our journey wherever we were heading. If it were up to Christian, I believe he'd live on the Catamaran and not look back. He seemed so comfortable sailing. He was so carefree, so young, and playful not to mention a little bossy.

Before we set sail, he had me put on a life jacket. I guess he didn't want another accident. I know I didn't. That was scary enough. If it wasn't for him...I didn't argue with Mr. Bossy. I slipped the jacket on and we begun our journey.

"Would you like something to drink?" Christian asked politely; though there was a hit of nervousness in his voice.

"Yes, thank you. Bottled water is fine."

"Water it is." Christian had begun to walk away but turned back to me, saying, "Just sit there. Don't move till I get back." He was teasing but I could see in his eyes how serious he was.

"I can't promise I won't move." I said coquettishly. "You'd have to tie me up."

There was a gleam in Christian's eyes and smile that told me he had a secret. What is your secret Mr. Grey?

"I might hold you to that." Christian smirked as he disappeared inside.

What did that mean? Are you kinky, Mr. Grey? I smirked at that thought but shook it off. Couldn't be possible be into S&M.

Several minutes later, Christian returned with two bottles of water for both of us and sat next to me, quietly. He seemed nervous as he handed a bottle over to me. To be honest, I was a little nervous as well. It has been so long since I'd been with a man. The last man I was with was my fiancé just before he died. I wondered if it was he same with him?

Where was Ana? She seemed to have disappeared. There were still so many things I wanted to know about Christian; I knew he would never tell me everything.

"Tell me a little about yourself..." I broke the ice, hoping that he'd tell me something about himself.

"What do you want to know?" He glanced at me.

"Everything!" I blurted out a little to nervously and was quiet after as I waited for him to reply.

Christian gave me a smirk, "Yeah?"

Oh yeah!

"Let's see, where to begin? I was adopted by wonderful parents and I have two siblings, a brother and a sister named Elliot and Mia."

Adopted? I had no idea.

"I had it good growing up but I didn't know it at the time." Christian was looking out at the water, leaving that one linger in the air.

I suspected that there was more to that, that he was going to keep to himself. That was okay, I understood. He could tell me when he was ready.

"I met and fell madly in love with Ana when she interviewed me for her school newspaper."

"There's a story there, isn't there?"

"She fell into my office."

Ana fell into his office? Like me and my two left feet.

"She wasn't one of the yes people I deal with every fucking day at the office. She saw right through me. It unnerved me but I was so intrigued all the same and I wanted her."

Like you wanted me the first time you saw me? I didn't dare ask that question because I knew the answer to that and hearing it might be a little unnerving.

"How long were you two together?"

"We were married within three months and pregnant not long after." Christian was quite for a moment remincing no doubt, then said. "She was taken away from me four years ago by some fucker named Jack Hyde."

I could see that if we went down that path it wasn't going to go well.

"Wait, did you say Jack Hyde?" My headed was spinning. I stood up and move away from Christian. I didn't want him to see me go through a panic attack.

Calm down. Take deep breaths. Breathe in and out. One...two...three...Oh god...everything was going black. I think I was about to pass out. The last thing I heard was Christian calling out to me as my legs buckled beneath me.

I don't know how long as I was out but my eyes fluttered open and there were worried grey eyes staring back at me.

"Sarah...what happened?" Christian asked worriedly.

"Christian...I..." I breathed trying to reign in my nerves. "Christian, please help me sit up."

With a nod, Christian helped me up off of the desk and set me in a seat on the starboard side of the catamaran. He placed his arm around me, hoping I was going to faint again.

"Tell me how you know Jack Hyde."

I have never spoken about Jack Hyde since..."Jack Hyde is the man that caused the accident that killed my Jacob." My tears slipped down my cheek.

Christian pulled me closely to him and it was as if he wasn't going to let me go.

"How do you know?"

"I just know." I whispered looking at him; I didn't want to go over how I knew. It would be just like reliving it all over again. I couldn't do that to myself nor would it be fair to Christian to put my past on him. "Please don't ask me how I know." I pleaded with him silently and he nodded.

"Sarah, I know what kind of man Hyde is. If he hurt you in anyway, please tell me." Christian pleaded with me.

I laid my head on his shoulder; he flinched a little, but didn't move me away. I felt safe and comfortable with him. To know that he had experience with Hyde helped a little.

"You don't need to worry about Hyde anymore." He kissed the top of my head.

We sat in quiet as we sailed up north and stopped off in a little town called Snohomish for lunch. I loved the south of the town name. It was so different, yet so unique.

The town took historical to a whole new level. It was like stepping into an episode of Little House, The Waltons or even When Calls the Heart.

The buildings down the main drag looked as though they were untouched, wood or brick. All the colors fit the period as well. It was amazing. It made you feel like you're really there.

"I know this little café over on Third Avenue. Let's go." Christian slipped his hand into mine and we walked down the promenade.

There were so many antiques stores. I'd never seen so many of them. I'd idly wondered if this town had any rare book stores among all of antiques stores. I could always use some for my store.

We turned on Third Avenue and it wasn't long till we hit the café. It was called The Snohomish Café. It was in what looked like an old hardware building. There were booths on both sides of the restaurant painted red and up the middle were table and chairs. On the walls were old signs from a different era. One said "Burgers, fries, and a soda pop fifteen cents."

At the back was a large counter with a pie fridge and an old time register on it.

We slid into a booth nearest the door as a middle aged woman dressed in a tee-shirt and jeans. Her hair was white and pulled tightly back like an old school teacher. She set some menus down in front of us.

"Can I get you's two anything to drink?" The waitress asked in her thick New York accent.

What was a New Yorker doing in Washington?

"We'll take two cokes and burger and fries."

So Christian was ordering for me? I don't know if I like that or not. That tells me he was a bit of a control freak.

"Great." The waitress scribbled down on her pad and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Claude is going to have a fit." Christian commented a moment or two later.

"Who is Claude?"

"He is my trainer. He has me on a specific diet. I'm not being a very good boy am I?" He smiled flirtatiously. Oh that cute. What was it about him? He had so many different smiles and each one meant something different. And those eyes. They had a power all of their own.

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him."

The waitress returned with our cokes.

"Oh he will know." Christian gave snort. It was kind of cute. "The guys got a sixth sense."

Several minutes later, the waitress returned with our burger and fries in front of us. They looked so good and I was so hungry. We did not speak about Hyde. He asked me about Jacob and the bookstore and I asked him about Ana and more about his life. He was forthcoming but he was still hiding something from me.

When we were finished eating, Christian left the money on the table, and we headed out. There was a crowd a head of us and he pointed towards it.

"So where shall we go?" Christian wondered.

What were they talking about? It looked like there had to be twenty or so people all line up and looked to be our ages, all different shapes and sizes, together or single. I wasn't sure. Some of them were probably on a romantic get away. Was this a romantic getaway? I gazed up at Christian wonderingly. He smiled back at me. How many different smiles did this man have? And how can each one be hotter than the next?

"Let's go see what they're talking about." Christian reached for my hand, wrapped his around mine, warm and smooth, and tugged me along.

"Welcome to Snohomish. The town was established in 1859 by Emory C. Ferguson and E. F. Cady.... A little side story, this town is called "Antique Capital of the Northwest." Do any of you know why?" The woman had said.

No one seemed to know.

"It's because of all the antique malls and stores." The woman glanced at each one of us.

"I could have guessed that one." I mumbled.

We'd seen enough off of them on the way in.

Christian leaned in to whisper into my ear, "There are like two hundred stores."

His warm breath on my skin sent shivers all over me. I need to concentrate on something else. The ladies speech. That would be good, though it was interesting if she had not had a monotone voice. I couldn't help but yawn. It went on and on about all the different things that happened in the town over the years. Then she switched her tone and speech when she started talking about Victorians. It was definitely more interesting. I even up for a tour if she was giving on. I loved to tour Victorians.

What a perfect way to spend the afternoon.

Glancing up at Christian, I asked sweetly, "Can we go?"

"Of course." Christian smiled and nodded at me. Wow what a smile. What is that the fifth cutest smile? Does he have any idea what he does to women with just one look or even just a smile? We are at his beck and call.

Christian seemed to be excited for the tour. "Lead the way, baby." Like the gentleman he was, he stepped aside, and allowed me to go in front of him, catching up to the crowd.

Wait? Did he just call me baby? I think I liked that.

I distracted myself as we were closer to the neighborhood; I could see all the Victorians coming into our view. They were so big and beautiful, and so many bright, vivid colors. These houses are so like the houses in California on Post Card Row. Beautiful. I was in awe. I wonder what Christian thought of all of this.

"Beautiful." Christian looked directly at me. Was he talking about the houses or me?

The first home we went by was on Sterling Lane. What it would be to go through these houses? But this tour was not one of those kinds of tours sadly.

The tour guide told us the Victorians were built in the 1700's before in the town was erected. The closet town then had been an hour away. The last house we visited was my favorite I think. It was blood red and sat on the corner of a large lot on Bennett Reed Blvd.

"What a lovely house. I like this one out of all the others," Christian commented.

"Mine too."

The house was very narrow but had three stories, a wrap around porch, three perfectly aligned windows on the second floor, and two windows above them and just above the dormer. Each one had a stained glass window, giving the house an earth real look. It reminded me of the 'Charmed' house.

After we finished with our tour, we walked back down town checking out all the antique shops along the way.

We nearly passed antique book store, but Christian quickly pointed out, "Is that a Hemmingway first edition?" He looked surprised. "My father would love that."

Besides Hemmingway, there was Tolstoy, Alcott, and a few others in the display window.

It was such a wonderful display, very simple. I was in heaven.

I made my way to the door and just as I did, Christian reached for the door opening it for me. What a gentleman. I gave him a sweet smile and entered the antique store and he followed after.

As we walked down the first isle, I happened to look up at the third shelf on the book case to my right and to my surprise there was a first edition of Tess D'Urbervilles. And it was a first edition to boot. I loved the series. What luck? Was it Christian? Was he going to be my good luck charm?

When I went to reach for the book, I felt him behind me, looking over my shoulder, and breathing on my neck. My breathing hitched in my throat, waiting for him to make up his mind. What was he going to do? Was he going to kiss me? Oh God! Yes please.

I felt him closer to me, pressing his body to mine. I was so completely aware of him and only him. I wanted him. I needed him so. But then he stepped back away from me. I could still feel him near me.

"Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid," Christian breathed as if he'd come to a realization.

That quote had thrown me for a loop. What did he mean by that? Was he putting a stop to our budding relationship? Was he scared? Suddenly I felt scared. I didn't want to lose him.

Slowly, I turned to face him, and I glanced up into his handsome face. He was scared of what he was feeling. Did Tess D'Urbervilles have some kind of significance between him and Ana? Did he believe it was some sign not to be with me?

"Hey!" I reached up to caress his smooth, soft handsome face with the back of my hand. He closed his eyes momentarily, relishing the feel of my hand. With sudden clarity, I knew what I needed to tell him, what I've wanted to tell him all day, but to scared to tell him.

"Open your eyes please; I want to see you when I say this."

Christian did what he was told and opened his eyes, looking directly at me; it felt like he was looking into my soul, seeing the deepest part of me. It was like he'd already known me in such a short amount of time. Did he know what he meant to me already?

How was I going to put it into words?

"I know your pain." I hadn't talked about my darkest time with anyone, well not anyone who understood what it was to hit that low point. "When I lost Jacob, I'd lost the only man I'd ever loved. The only man I'd ever been with. I didn't think it would get any better."

I was quiet a moment, letting him gather his thoughts, but it was so hard to talk about it all. The tears glistened in my eyes.

"I was at a point where I wanted it all over with. It was too much to deal with life. I wanted to be with him so much. It had been the end of the world. I didn't want to live in a world where he was not in it."

I could see in Christian's eyes that he felt that way too.

"Someone told me to start writing to get my pain on paper. When I was finished, I just kept writing and I didn't just write about the pain anymore, I was creating life, but I wasn't living life. But today, you gave that back to me. You've made me come alive." I peeked up at his reaction and I was not exactly sure what he was feeling. He was a blank slate. I continued on, "I think, I think I'm falling in love with you. I know it is too soon but just being with you..."

Christian still had not said a word to me as he grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the store and down to docks. I was beginning to worry that I'd gone too far with the truth.

"Christian..." I tried to keep up but he was too quick for me. "Talk to me, please."

We turned down a quiet, empty alley and he pushed me up against the wall, pressing himself against me. The blood was pumping in my ear and our breathing increased. He wanted me, I wanted him. I didn't much care if it was in public or not.

Christian watched me carefully for a moment, and then pressed his lips against mine, gently, softly, while he tangled his hands in my hair. It was like Independence Day, Christmas, birthdays all rolled into one. Never in any of my relationships, hell in my dreams, have I ever been kissed like he was kissing me now. I snaked my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Our kissing became more urgent, passionate even. He then moved from my lips to my neck, nuzzling me.

Oh god, that felt HOT! I wanted more. Our breathing had increased with need, want and lust. Had to have more of him.

"I need you...Now!" Christian finally said as he pulled away from me and we continued down to the docks to the catamaran.

Christian helped me up to the deck and we headed toward the cabin. As soon as we came into the cabin, we were on each other kissing. So intense. So passionate. So hot.

Slowly we removed our clothes; I don't even know where they landed. I didn't much care. Our lips met as we walked backwards to the bed. He pushed me back on the bed, watching momentarily. It made me feel sexy. He moved towards me, crawling up my body, stopping at my breasts, sucking and biting as he went. M nipples peaked instantly.

Christian looked at me grinning that secret grin of his. What were you thinking? He returned to kissing my skin with feather light kisses. I felt his erection as he moved down my body. I watched every movement as he watched for mine. He was worshiping. I felt wanted and needed. Loved even. I was so wet for him; I couldn't take anymore of the waiting. "Christian, please..."

Moving up my body, Christian left more of the soft butterfly kisses and when he reached my mouth, he kissed me so fiercely, so passionately as he reached over to the night stand for a condom. I watched him patiently as he ripped open the packet with his teeth, reached down, slipping it on. Damn that was hot.

Reaching down, Christian positioned himself between me and entered me slowly. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in deeper. We both moaned at the sensation. He moved slowly at first, then faster, and faster, in and out. Oh my god! It felt so damn good. He felt so damn good.

Christian repositioned my leg and pulled out of me, slamming into me again and again a few more times. I'd never had it that rough before. It was so mindblowly hot!

Sex was never like this with Jacob. It was wonderful with him but with Christian it went beyond that. Mind, body, and soul. My body was humming to life as I inched closer to my organism.

"Sarah..." Christian grunted his orgasm.

"Christian...." Mine exploded a moment later. I had gone over the edge like I'd never gone over. It was...there were no words to describe what I was feeling.

Christian stilled himself momentarily and pulled out of me.

"Wow!" I snuggled up against him, laying my head on his chest. He stiffened but did not move. What was that about? That was twice. "Is this okay? My head here?"

"Just give me a moment."

Alright. I felt him take in a shaky breath and let it out a few times. He them turned me on my side away from him and he snuggled in next to me, draping his arm over me.

"Did I do something wrong?"

I heard him take a deep breath again. "No," He finally said, "It's just me."

It was just him. That didn't make me feel better. I didn't want to press him after a wonderful day, but I had to know what it was or at least where I can touch him without making him feel uncomfortable. "I want you to be comfortable when I touch you so please, when you're ready, tell me how I can do that."

Christian pulled me closer to him. "We'll talk about it later."

It wasn't long before we both fell asleep.

I wasn't sure how long we'd been asleep when I heard him crying and thrashing in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. Oh god, what do I do? I was so scared. Christian, what was wrong?

Sitting up, I held the sheet to me as I placed my hands on his shoulders to shake him awake. "Christian."

A moment later, a startled Christian opened his eyes, looking directly at me. He was scared. For me?

"Sarah..." Christian asked confused.

"Are you okay?" I was so worried for him. "You were having a nightmare."

"I did not want you to find out this way." Christian sat up in bed, looking so ashamed having a nightmare. "I have some issues that I've been dealing with."

"What kind of issues?" I asked gently. "What are your nightmares about?"

I don't mean to push but if I don't know how can I help him? I don't think that he will tell me on his own like I thought he would. How did Ana deal with all of it? Did she push too? If she was a lot like me and I think she is, she probably pushed him to deal with it.

"You don't want that shit in your head."

That worried me. What the hell happened to him?

"Christian, I want to help you."

Christian sighed, he was annoyed. "Come here." He pulled me to him, my head on shoulder. He tensed a bit but relaxed. "I don't want to tell you what my nightmare was about."

It was about me. I could feel it. Why wouldn't he tell me?

"Let's not worry about the nightmare shit and enjoy this time. We have to go back soon."

"I thought we were going to play hooky?"

"Oh, we can do that." Christian gave me a saucy looked and moved us so quickly; he was on top of me, kissing me. I could feel his need in that one kiss. I let him do what he needed to do to release the tension.