Chapter 86 - A Painting Is Worth A Thousand Words

A/N: Close by Nick Jonas is the most fitting song for this chapter tbh^.

Marshall's POV:

— Sip & Paint Date Night

"I ain't gonna sugarcoat anything to you, baby, and you know it. You should feel bad for how you have been treating me, but Ima let you have it for now. Let's just enjoy our date night, shall we?" I said, putting the sour feelings aside and turning over a new leaf.

"Okay. Thank you, by the way, love." She gave me a small smile with a hug.

She pulled away shortly after, taking a seat at the table as I followed behind her. God, give me strength. I want to be mad at her, but I can't. I want to fuck some sense into her, but I won't. Not yet anyways...

I passed her, her bowl of pasta and poured her a glass of wine from one of the bottles. She looked at me suspiciously, and I already knew why: Because she doesn't drink around me. She can be so prissy sometimes, but I wouldn't have her any other way. She's respectful of other people's boundaries and when she says she is or isn't gonna do something, she means it.

"Just drink the wine." I nonchalantly told her.

"No. I'm not going to drink around you. You already know that."

"Sadé, stop being such a prissy good girl and just drink the damn wine." I told her sternly.

She cut her eyes at me, squinting. I just stared at her back, not saying anything. I wasn't backing down from this. I did not go through hell trying to find her some good wine to enjoy just for her to decline it because I'm sober. My sobriety is not hers and she needs to understand that. I'm a grown man and can handle myself. Watching her consume wine isn't going to make me relapse or upset me. It may not be my cup of tea, but that's why I don't indulge in it and drink Red Bull and sparkling water instead.

"Nuh uhh." She simply said as she started to eat her chicken & spinach Alfredo.

"Sae, you know you can drink around me and can smoke if you wanted to and I wouldn't blink an eye, right?" I said getting all serious with her.

"Yes, but I want to support you on your sobriety journey, and I really respect you. So I'm not going to do it." She said softly, no longer looking at me.

Aww. That was actually really sweet. She's so thoughtful of others. But like I said, I didn't go through hell for nothing. So one of us better end up drinking the wine and getting drunk off it tonight. And it's obviously ain't gonna be me.

"Baby, look at me." I said, gently grabbing her chin so she'd make eye contact with me, "It's okay for you to drink around me. I'm not going to be offended. I'm not going to get mad at you. Nothing. As long as it's not a problem for you, I don't mind. Honest to God." I reassured her.

She was silent for a few seconds before she let out a huff, and pulled away from me.

"Fine. Only if you say so though. But don't say I'm too much to handle at the end of the night like you did the last time you gave me wine." She rolled her eyes sassily while she grabbed the wine glass and put it to her lips.

I watched her sip her girly drink, having no complaints. I made a mental note to myself that if I were to ever buy her wine again it's be that one.

"Well, that's a different conversation for another day. I didn't expect you to go down on me like that, girl." I mumbled feeling flustered.

I scratched my beard, sticking my tongue to my cheek as I had gotten a flashback. Man, that night was wild. And that's exactly one of the reasons why I don't mind when she drinks wine or any alcohol... Releases a whole 'nother side of her.

— 30 Minutes Later

Sae & I had finished our food by now and started painting. To my surprise, this was a very relaxing experience. I do sketch here and there, doodling and drawing and all that jazz, but I never thought of painting on an actual canvas, even after all these years until now. I might have to do this more often. Sadé might have just put me on to something.

For the most part, things were good, take if I do say so myself. There was just one thing that bothered me, and that was the fact that Sadé hasn't said too many words so far. She was still quiet and reserved despite already finishing half a bottle, and us being on this date. I was sure that this would get her to open up to me, but now.

Yet she was over there snickering to herself as she painted away without a care in the world. I had no clue what the hell was so funny or cracking her up so much. And if I'm being honest, it was kind of pissing me off because I did expect her to take this a bit more seriously than she was at the moment. Of course, I wanted her to enjoy herself, but I also wanted her to open up to me.

"What's so funny?" I casually asked her, studying her curiously.

"Look." She told me, barely able to hold in her giggles now.

She turns her easel towards me, and now I understand. Now I get why she was so giddy, and I can confirm that the wine was going straight to her head slowly, but surely.

"Sadé, what the actual fuck is that?" I ask, my eyes darting wildly from the pairing to her.

I swallowed my lips in an effort to remain serious and composed, but I was struggling. I won't lie, the painting was pretty funny, but I'm supposed to be mad at her right now.

"What, you don't like it, MarMar? I think it's hot." She winked at me, smirking.

"Sae... It's Patrick Star from SpongeBob as Kim K." I stifled a laugh.

"Yea. Isn't he sexy?" She was now laughing out loud, not even taking herself seriously at this point.

This girl. She can be so goofy at times. I never knew she was this unserious and funny when I first met her until I truly fit to know her. She doesn't come off as striking in that area to the naked eye, but she's very fun to be around if you ever have the pleasure of getting to know her. I stopped trying to be so serious, and let my guard down, laughing along with her. We were both letting loose now.

"He sure does have a dumpy." I said impressed.

She immediately stopped laughing as soon as the words left my mouth, replacing it with an audible gasp.

"WHAT?!" She looked at me with a bewildered expression on her face.

"What?" I looked back at her with a blank expression instead, not understanding what the big deal was with what I just said.

"Who taught you that word, old man? She looked at me suspiciously.

"Stevie. They accidentally caught me staring at your ass once and told me that's what you call a dumpy. Hasn't left my brain since." I answered smugly.

"Oh my gosh. You're getting too advanced for your age." She whispered to herself, seemingly stressed out by the new vocabulary that I learned from my youngest daughter.

Wait until she finds out I also know what gyatt means. Learned that from Stevie too. They've been teaching me a lot, and I've been catching on to stuff from Sadé too since I've been around her. It's only simple stuff like the terms munch, sprinkle sprinkle, and ate. I also just recently found out that some emojis aren't always as they seem. I still didn't understand that. Why have a peach emoji as an ass and an eggplant as a penis? Just make a penis and pussy emoji, simple.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I jokingly scoff.

"You're 50! You're not supposed to know what a dumpy is. Nah, I'm telling Stevie to stop showing you stuff, and I'm not sending you any more TikToks. You better not start posting on that TikTok account you made either." She forbids me.

I couldn't help but laugh. She was dead serious too. Texting Stevie as we spoke that I was getting too advanced with technology.

"Don't be hatin', Sae. Sprinkle sprinkle." I sassed her, laughing afterward knowing this would drive her crazy.

"AHHHH. I'm never letting you use the internet ever again!" She screamed, covering her face from embarrassment.

We regained our composure after a few minutes and continued painting. I did have to convince her to paint something more meaningful - Something that was more telling of her emotions and how she felt right now because she wasn't feeling like herself lately, and I wanted to know why. I didn't want to push her but rather encourage her.

She was hesitant at first but ultimately decided that she would join me in painting something detailed. She had picked up her easel and some of the paint and sat across from me instead of next to me. When I asked her why she did that she simply gave me the answer that she didn't want me to peak at her art until she was done. Fair enough. She did seem nervous about doing so but didn't complain.

While we were painting, and sipping on our drinks, there was a silence that fell between us. It was covered by the sounds of music playing in the background from Sae's phone which was connected to the Bluetooth speaker, but it was still very loud and apparent. As time passed, I kept getting this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was making me feel a mix of emotions. I didn't feel a sense of tranquility and was very anxious. I had no idea why I was feeling this way, but I felt like something was about to go down. Like things were going to take a sharp left turn and come crashing down. Hard. I pushed the feelings to the side, choosing to ignore them. I'm sure it was nothing.

— A While Later

An hour or two had passed, and I was done with my painting. It was personal to me and was a reflection of my current moods and emotions, which weren't so positive lately. I've been feeling down about my relationship with Sadé and the distance that she's been creating between us, stressed from work at the studio & Paul, and baby momma drama. However, this was mainly pertaining to my feelings towards Sae at the moment.

"You done, pretty girl?" I asked her, wanting to see what she had painted.

"Mhmm" She gave me a vague answer.

"Can I see it?" I hesitantly asked, noticing she was avoiding eye contact.

"Nuh uhh." She shook her head no.

I felt my right eye twitch, feeling myself starting to get annoyed with her. It felt like pulling teeth with her. I was genuinely at my breaking point with her low efforts and terrible attitude she's been giving me. It was pissing me off.

"No?" I sarcastically asked her.

"No." She replied blankly.

Ight. Bet. Fuck this shit. I started to get up to leave the room. I grabbed my phone and headed towards the door when she spoke up.

"Where are you going?" She quickly asked me, sounding alarmed.

"To bed." I gave a vague response similar to how she'd been doing me all night.

"No. Stay." She begged me, now sounding remorseful.

"For what? You clearly don't care about this date as much as I do. I planned a good night for us because I thought you were secretly mad at me for spending so much time in the studio, but I was wrong. It seems like you want nothing to do with me anymore, and I'm over it. I tried so hard to get you to open up to me and you won't so I'm done trying. Good night, Sadé. We can try this again tomorrow or not and go our separate ways. I don't care anymore." I raged in anger and annoyance.

I didn't entirely mean everything I said. I didn't want her to leave. I ain't wanna go our separate ways. I just wanted her to be real and honest with me. It's like she was putting up this facade, this mask, around me and I hated it. It was taking a toll on me. It hurt. I wanted nothing more than to be close to her right now. She won't let me though.

"I- I..." She started, but couldn't finish her sentence.

I just stood by the door, watching her with an emotionless expression on my face. I saw her eyes start to get glossy, but I refused to comfort her. It took everything in me to not go over there and crouch down next to her and ask her what was wrong. I wanted to, but I couldn't. As loving as I am to her, I'm still me at the end of the day. I can still be a petty piece of shit: An asshole.

"Ight, so what's going on?" I lazily asked, getting impatient.

I decided to just straight up ask her, addressing the elephant in the room.

"What's your issue with me, Sae? You've been so distant with me lately when I've been nothing but nice to you. Yet you can't seem to even hold a conversation with me. Seriously, what the fuck is the problem? You got about five seconds to start talkin' before I get to walkin'" I shrugged no longer in the mood for her shenanigans.

I pulled my hat lower over my face as I waited. I counted to five in my head, patiently waiting for her to say something: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Nothing. I shook my head in disbelief, at her silence. Un-fucking-believable.

I didn't even bother saying anything. I simply rolled my eyes, letting out a short angry chuckle. I walked out of the room, heading to my shared bedroom. I heard Sadé calling after me, but I ignored her. I was too upset with her right now. I didn't want to talk to her nor see her, right now because I knew I'd fold.

I must've spoken too soon, however, because that's exactly what happened. I folded like a damn collapsible chair. I can't stay mad at this girl for too long for nothing! Not even if my life depended on it. I'm whipped.

"MarMar, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" She said as her voice cracked, sounding like she was on the verge of tears.

I know she isn't crying right now... I know damn well my baby ain't crying right now. I stopped in my tracks, taking a deep breath in. I ran my hands over my face, stalling to make eye contact with her because I knew as soon as I did, I'd be right back to catering to all her needs and senses like the spoiled lady she was.

"Do you even know why you're sorry or are you just saying it to please me?"

"No, I'm saying it because I mean it. I'm sorry for intentionally pushing you away because I was scared." She admitted.

Scared? What was she scared of? I know she isn't scared of me. Also, ouch. It kinda hurt to hear that she knew exactly what she was doing to me and continued to do so anyway despite how I might feel.

"Why are you scared? It's just me, baby. Just be real." I finally turned around, looking at her.

I made direct eye contact with her, and she was in fact crying. She had tears rolling down her cheeks like a river. I didn't understand any of this. I didn't understand why she was so emotional right now not why she'd done what she did.

"Why are you crying?" I ask her confused.

"Because..." She let out barely above a whisper, becoming even more emotional.

I grabbed her hand, dragging her back into the lounge room where everything was set up. I sat her down on the couch that was located there and sat next to her. I placed my hand on her thigh, rubbing over it soothingly in hopes that she'd calm down.

"Because what? What's going on with you?" I gently asked her.

She quietly got up, walked to her painting, grabbed it, and handed it to me before sitting back down. I looked at it, studying it, trying to figure it out.

It was very pretty and feminine much to her taste. They say a painting is worth a thousand words for a reason. Something about it made me feel emotional, and I think I know why. I think I know what's been bothering her now. I needed confirmation though. This can't be what's been bothering her so much to the fact that she hasn't been herself.

"Is this meant to represent your feelings?" I suspiciously eyed her, feeling skeptical.

"Yes. It's my feelings for you." She confirmed.

Oh. I understand now. She finally realizes her feelings: Love. I already knew tonight would be a long night full of deep conversations.

"You got it, baby. Tell me how you truly feel." I encouraged her.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to find confidence in her words.

"Marshall, I have feelings for you, which you already knew. And they only intensified since I began to date you officially, unbeknownst to myself. I do really really like you, but you seem to already know the truth behind those words. I- ... Marshall, I'm scared. The feeling I get from you scares me because it's all so real and I never truly felt it before. I'm scared of it because I don't know if I'll be good enough for you. For a long time, I thought I wasn't deserving of such a thing because of my past, but I want it. I want to go down that road with you, but I didn't know how to tell you or where to even begin. I tried to fight it and act like it never existed, and I wanted nothing to do with it so I pushed you away. And I am so sorry for that, by the way." She timidly told me, spilling her heart out to me.

I noticed that she didn't explicitly mention the word love, but I understood that that's what she was referring to. I stared at her in utter shock. She loves me. She truly does love me. I've been waiting for her to come around for so long, and she finally did. It sucks that she thinks so negatively about love, but we can work on it - Baby steps.

I strangely enough felt a sense of relief, like a weight was lifted off of my chest because she wouldn't have to worry about hiding her feelings from me anymore. I was also feeling all the warm sensations of love. I was happy to know that she felt the same way about me and loved me back. It filled me with joy. It made me happy. And it made me look at this relationship differently. A whole lot differently.

"May I ask what exactly it is about love that scares you so much?" I posed the question.

"Well, I'm scared of the risks that come with it. Like what if my heart gets broken again? Or you don't even love me anymore? That scares me. Then there's also the possibility that I may not be a good lover to you. You deserve to be loved properly, taken care of, and treated with care. What if I can't give you that? Or what if I just suck at it?" She showed me her raw emotion, still crying.

"Sadé, look at me." I grabbed her hands, rubbing circles in them with my thumb, "You don't have to worry about that with me. You don't have to worry about being heartbroken as long as we're together, and you know that. You know I treat you with the utmost respect. I treat you with nothing but care and I value everything about you. Inside and out. And you may not realize it, but the little things you do now, how you already treat me, shows you're a good lover. An exceptional lover. You don't have to change anything about what you do to show that. You'll just be doing those things with even more love than you were before now. Ight?" I reassured her, kissing her hands sweetly.

I couldn't be mad at her. She was going through the motions of figuring out what it was she was feeling. We all handle things differently, and unfortunately, she handled it a lot worse than the average person, but that's okay. She nodded, letting me know she understood what I told her.

I didn't expect her to say I love you at all because it was clear that she had a hard time taking it in. Like I said, baby steps. I simply didn't think she was ready for that and thought that it might be moving too fast for her speed. So I reluctantly didn't tell her that I love her despite wanting to. I can be patient. I can wait for her until she's ready because love doesn't have a time limit. However, it seems as if she thought otherwise.

"Marshall?" She sniffled, grabbing my hand and mindlessly playing with my fingers.

"Yea?" I answered her quietly.

"I..."

A/N: 😂😂😂 Got y'all asses again. And we got another cliffhanger. I know y'all probably hate me right now, but I promise it'll be for the best! Trust me on this. I love y'all, and as always - Thank You for all of the support 💗- 🤎