Chapter 83 - In Love With You

A/N Warning: This chapter contains themes of intimacy.

A/N: This chapter is going to be a little different with a twist of how we normally do things around here. So I hope you enjoy the show. Mwah. (Songs used are I Might Be In Love With You By Cynthia Erivo & Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish.)

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Sadé's POV:

— Tuesday, November 29th

I was chilling in my office for the day, getting my usual work done. Today was nothing out of the norm besides the fact that Marshall had left super early for work today and would be staying late again to meet deadlines he told me about for his album. When I say early, I mean early. He had left at seven in the morning instead of nine like he normally would. So he'd practically be gone all day, meaning I'd only see him at night if I got lucky enough to stay up that long.

The universe must've been on my side today because I heard the doorbell ring unexpectedly. Neither of us were expecting a package or anyone to be coming over, especially in a work day during work hours. I grudgingly got up from my spot at my desk, not wanting to stop what I was doing, and made my way to the door. I opened the door, and there he was in all his glory. He had a takeout box of sushi in his hand along with a small bouquet of roses. I was completely shocked since I wasn't expecting him here.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at work in the studio." I gasped in pure disbelief.

"I wanted to have lunch with you, and thought I'd make up for last night." He said graciously.

"Awww, really? You're spending your lunch break with me?" I cheesed, showing my dimples.

"Of course, beautiful." He said softly as if it was no big deal, giving me a kiss on the cheek as he stepped inside.

I closed & locked the door behind him,  following him to the dinning room. He sat the food on the table, and handed me the flowers.

"Here. I saw these in the shop's window and thought of you. Pretty flowers for a pretty girl." He said, saying his iconic line that he has for whenever he gets me flowers.

"Thank you. You're so thoughtful."

I took the flowers, looking over them with a smile on my face before giving him a tight hug as I wrapped my arms around his torso to show my appreciation. He hugged me back momentarily before letting go so that I could put the roses in a vase filled with water from the kitchen. When I came back he had already set up the table for us to begin to eat.

I sat in the chair next to him, conversing on how our day is going so far as we munched on our food. I told him about my upcoming girls trip to Aspen with Alabama, Hailie, Jordyn, and a few other friends. I then randomly brought up the topic of maybe going on a vacation with him one day.

"How would you feel if we went on a vacation together? A becation, perhaps."

"Is that what you want?" He asked me, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I wouldn't mind it, but you didn't answer the question." I took note.

"How would I feel about going on vacation with you?" He pondered on his answer, "I'd like that, but I doubt I'd actually be any fun." He responded rather bleakly.

"And why wouldn't you be any fun? You're so fun to be around." I reassured him truthfully.

Marshall is a very fun person in actuality. Despite him being a very laid back, and easy going person by nature, he knows how to open up and have a good time when he wants to.

"Sadé, I don't know if you're aware of this, but I'm 50." He joked in a serious manner, taking the last bite of his meal, "When I go on vacation with the kids or family, I usually just sit back and relax while I watch them do what they do. I don't actually join in on the activities." He shrugged.

"MarMar, just because you're half a century doesn't mean you can't have fun!" I playfully replied, causing him to laugh at my humor as he nudged me.

"No, seriously though. You just feel like that because you haven't had any excitement in your life in a long time. That was until I can along anyways." I smugly said, feeling myself, "We've gone to a water park, go kart racing, to an amusement park, to the Detroit fair, to Vegas, on a yacht, to Milan, and so many other things. That's fun, and you were 49/50 when you did those." I pointed out, making a valid claim.

"True. I guess I just haven't been around the right person to bring me out of my shell." He said truthfully, finally looking in my direction.

"A baecation doesn't sound too bad. I don't know when I'd be able to, if I'm being honest. Paul's been all over my dick about time off." He grumbled.

I could sense that he wasn't really happy with that situation at the moment; Not being able to take time off whenever he pleased. He was a man that didn't like being bossed around nor told that he couldn't do something so this got under his skin for sure.

"Well as long as you keep putting in the extra work, it should die down soon." I tried to rationalize with him as I took a sip of my drink.

"I guess. I'd much rather you be on my dick than him." He flirted, sending me a wink.

He bit his lip, giving me the look. Immediately, my face got hot from being flustered due to his dirty words. I looked away from him, not being able to keep eye contact as I saw his blue eyes darken with lust.

"It'll always amaze me how I can affect you so much so easily." He chuckled deeply to himself.

"Stoppp." I exaggerated, bashfully putting my head in my hands.

He pulled my chair closer to his, pulling my hands away from my face to stop from hiding away from him.

"You know I'm just playing with you, Sae. I find it flattering." He admitted, giving me a lingering kiss on the lips, "You're so beautiful." He told me his thoughts as he pulled away.

"Thank you."

His sweet words mixed with the masculine, warm scent of his Bleu De Chanel cologne was awakening my senses. We actually hadn't been intimate in quite a few days, and I was wanting more of him in this moment. Unbeknownst to him, he was catering to all of my needs by simply stopping by for lunch, being nice to me, feeding me, and having conversation. It was the way he was treating me so well that turned me on. I got up from my seat, sitting with my legs crossed on his lap. His eyes were trained on me to see what I would do next. Without any words, I leaned over him, gently tangling my nails in his short hair as I pushed his head towards mines, kissing him with a strong desire. He didn't hesitate to reciprocate the action, gripping my hips tightly.

"You're so handsome, and so fine. I want you so bad." I mumbled, complimenting him.

"I want you too. May I?" He asked, pulling away to make sure this is what I wanted.

I nodded my head yes, and he picked me up, holding me up with his arms that were wrapped around my thighs.

"Bed or couch?" He asked me in my ear.

"Couch. Never done it there before." I responded covetly.

I heard him let out an amused hum as he walked us to the living room, laying me on the couch. He pulled his shirt off, kneeling between my legs as he bent over my body to kiss me again. My hands were running over his abs, feeling how toned he was. His hand was gently placed over my neck in a dominating way. He squeezed gently, causing me to moan into the kiss.

"Marshallll." I whined, becoming impatient.

I was already so aroused, and just wanted to feel his touch. Something. Anything. I was thirsting for him hard. His hand moved from my throat to my lower region. He pushed past my clothing, dipping his finger into my heat. He raised his eyebrow, feeling my wetness, in surprise.

"Damn, baby. I ain't even touch you yet." He commented.

"You don't need to. Being in your presence is enough for me."

He didn't respond. Instead, he lifted my shirt up that exposed my top region, signaling me to take it off so I did. He started to pump his fingers in and out of me slowly as he placed his mouth over my nipple, sucking and swirling in the process. I took in a breath of air at the feeling, closing my eyes. He added a second finger and switched sides, going a little faster as I panted out. I eventually came around his fingers as Marshall held a satisfied look on his face.

"Open." He ordered me to open my mouth.

I did as I was told, him placing both fingers on my tongue, allowing me to taste myself. If I do say so myself, I taste pretty darn good. No wonder he's always asking for dessert late at night. Anyways, I sucked them clean, hearing him groan on the process. I know he likes when I do that. It turns him on like crazy every single time.

"Turn around for me. All fours." He instructed in a low growl.

I did as I was told, kicking my leggings and panties off as I got into doggy style formation. A few seconds later I felt the couch dip and Marshall behind me. His tip teased my entrance, slowly pushing himself inside as he let out a satisfied moan. He allowed me to adjust to his size before starting to thrust.

"You better fuck this pussy up!" I whined out, feeling goosebumps cover my body.

"Say no more." He grunted, picking up the pace.

He gripped my ass with one hand that I knew would leave a handprint, and placed the other higher up on my hip. He was pounding into me as I met his thrust halfway, throwing it back against him. The couch was literally moving so he had to put his foot down on the ground to hold it steady. That's how hard and fast he was going.

We were so lost in the movements and pleasure of it all that we didn't hear it the first time his phone rang. It then rang for the second to which he simply grabbed it and declined whoever's call. Then it rang again for the third time in a row, which he let out a groan of annoyance to.

"I thin- I think you should answer that. They seem persistent." I struggled to get out between gasps for air.

"Fuck that. I ain't worried about them right now." He roughly replied, not caring at all.

The phone kept ringing though so I looked back at him over my shoulder. He was glistening in sweat, his blue eyes trained on where our bodies were intersected. When he felt my eyes on him, he looked up at me. I gave him as much of a stern look as I could at the moment, making him swear to himself.

"Shit... Fine, but you're riding me while I take this phone call." He responded, rolling his eyes as he slowed down to pull out of me.

Once he was out, he sat down on the couch while I climbed on top of him to straddle his lap. He reached for his phone while I reached for his dick. I sat down on him, taking his entire length as I let out a small moan, trying not to be heard. I gripped the couch with both my hands on either side of his head as I bounced up and down, trying to chase our highs as I provided us both pleasure. He shot me a wink, his hand lazily on my side as he pressed the answer button on his phone.

"Hello?" He greeted, quickly turning on his acting skills on to act as if nothing was going down on the other end of the line.

I can't believe this is actually happening right now. I'm really having sex with my man, in the living room, on the couch, riding him, while he's on the phone on the middle of the day time. The thought of doing something so wrong felt so good. It made me want him even more if that was possible. Never in my life would I have ever thought I'd be here right now doing this with him. But this is Marshall Mathers. He can make any good girl act bad, I suppose.

"The fuck do you want now, Paul? I'm kind of busy." He snapped at him.

My eyes slightly widened at the name, not expecting him to be calling. There was a pause on his end before Marshall spoke up again.

"I'm with my lady, dawg. Chill, I'm having lunch with her. I'll be back in a few." He defended himself.

An even longer pause. It seemed like Paul was now complaining to him about something from the sounds of it. I felt like he needed to back off of Marshall a little bit. Paul was a great guy, but he wasn't my favorite person. I just felt like he acts like a helicopter parent in the form of a manager, and really needed to trust him more. He's a grown man, and he knows the work that he has to get done, and the risk that comes along with not doing so at the end of the day.

Marshall wasn't listening to understand, but to respond. During this time, Marshall had started to thrust into me, meeting my every move. He had his head laid back on the couch while his eyes were staring at the ceiling, trying to keep ahold of his concentration. It was getting harder for me to stay quiet. I truly didn't know how much longer I could keep it up for.

"Yea."

Then he looked at me. He made direct eye contact with me, mouthing the words "Just like that, baby." I swear I almost lost it. I accidentally let out a loud moan, quickly covering my mouth with my hand and shutting my eyes in the process. I stilled, scared that maybe I was too loud. Marshall held the phone away from his face as he got closer to me.

"Who told you to stop?" Marshall whispered in my ear, "Be a good girl for daddy and keep going." He left a wet kiss underneath my earlobe on my neck.

Chills were sent down my spine as he put the phone back to his ear, continuing his call as if this was normal. I took a sharp breath in, resuming my movements. I went from bouncing to grinding. I was so close and was going to come any minute. I needed him to get off the phone because if he didn't, Paul was about to hear me all in the background clear as day.

"Yea I'm still here..."

*Pause*

"Nah, it was nothing."

*Pause*

"Ight."

*Pause*

"Yup. Sounds good." He said in an uninterested voice, trying to get off the phone with him.

He could tell that I was getting close, and wanted to reach that high with me. The look on his face read that he was close too, but was holding back out of respect for his manager, and not embarrassing his girlfriend.

*Even longer pause*

"Wouldn't you like to know. You should learn how to mind your business."

*Pause*

"Look Paul, I'm busy right now. I don't have time to be talking to you on the phone when I got my lady in front of me about to lose her shit. I'll see you in 30 minutes." He hurriedly ended the call, not giving him the chance to ask questions or even put the pieces together of what was actually going on between us.

Once he ended the call, he gave me that look that signaled for me to let it all out so I did. I became vocal again and so did he, cussing and whispering dirty words in my ear until I came undone around him. A minute later and he followed suit, unloading his seed inside of me with a low groan.

"Goddamn, baby. It's like the more you date me, the less innocent you become." He beamed at me hotly while we caught our breaths.

"So it seems. Can't blame anyone for that except for you, Sir." I giggled.

"...I really really like you." I said subconsciously, not thinking much of it at all.

"I'm becoming so aware, that I might lose myself in you."

It was something we started saying often now. It was our thing. And it's true. I do really really like him. Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be dating him. He is my man after all. My feelings for him are strong. So yes, I really really like him opposed to simply liking him.

I gave him a quick peck on his lips as I studied his face. He really was handsome. He's one of the finest guys I've ever seen or been with, and he aged like fine wine. He didn't look a day past 50. If anything he looked like he was in his early 40s. I really hit the jackpot with this one, I also subconsciously thought to myself.

"I really really like you too." He said back.

And as I was studying his face when he said that, it's almost as if I'm noticing something about him that I've never noticed before. As if it's been happening all along, but I just hadn't realized it until now. There was this certain look in his eyes: A little twinkle that made his eyes sparkle and an unusually brighter shade of blue. And his facial expression was soft. It was tender, sweet, and pure. It was so genuine and sincere when he had said it. The change in his demeanor even backed that up as he gave me a small smile that tugged at the corner of his lips, and his tone was gentle. Only now had I realized that it was always there whenever he said those specific words.

He... loves me. He loves me. Marshall Mathers loves me. And... I love him. I love him? Yes... I do love him... I-

"This may be too much but that's how I feel with you.This just got complicated, think I might be in love with you."

"You alright? You kinda zoned out there." He interrupted my thoughts, forcing me to remember where I currently was and what exactly just happened.

"Yea... I must be dazed after what just happened." I lied with a joke to cover it up.

I couldn't give him the slightest clue about my feelings. Not right now. I don't even have a clue so never mind him having one! I held it together as best as I possibly could for the time being. My mind was mentally screaming at me, kicking myself in the butt. My heart was fluttering though, beating quickly.

"So I'm stuck in the corner, pretending it can't be."

"Maybe you should get some sleep. Take a nap." He suggested as he lifted me up, spilling out of me.

"I probably will. I'm feeling w bit tired from all of that physical activity." I said with a yawn, seriously contemplating taking a nap.

"Unlike you, I feel pretty energetic now. Might just have some new things to write about too." He teased.

He then changed his demeanor within a second, giving me a thin tight lipped smile. His hands ran up and down my back soothingly, as he spoke up.

"I really hate to do this, especially now, but I gotta leave soon. You know Paul's expecting me, and it's well past the time that I normally allow myself for my lunch break." He said, checking his watch, "I just don't want you to feel like I used you or am abandoning you now since I can't really give you after care like I normally would."

"No, I understand. It's fine, love. I won't feel that way, I promise." I said reassuring his insecurities.

"Alright." He said, kissing my cheek.

I got up from on top of him as he handed me a few tissues from the side table to clean myself before I put my clothes back on. He was doing the same, putting on his boxers, sweats, album cover shirt, and matching sweater. He placed his hat back on as I laid back down in the couch, watching him. He walked back over to me, bending over as he gave me a lingering kiss goodbye.

"I'll see you later, ight? I'll try to be home around 10 tonight." He informed me.

"Alright. See you." I said sweetly as I waved at him one last time.

He left out of my sight to the foyer to grab his belongings before leaving the house all together. I gave it a few seconds to assure that I was alone before I let my true colors show.

Everything hit me like a ton of bricks all at once. I broke down, feeling myself begin to spiral downwards. I started to sob uncontrollably not knowing what to do with myself. I held the pillow loosely over my face as I let it all out to. Coming to the conclusion that I was actually in love felt surreal to me. How did I end up here? Why did I end up here? And do I even belong here - Do I leave, do I stay? Am I even deserving of love?

The concept of it all terrifies me. Imagine falling in love, living in a bliss state of mind, then boom - Something bad happens. Everything comes crumbling down like an avalanche, and you can't seem to figure out why. Then another boom - Things change in the relationship. Next thing you know, feelings that were exchanged are changing and now disappearing without a trace. Now you hate each other and desperately wish you could fix it, but can't. Then the last boom - Heartbreak. My heart is broken, and I'm left to fix the pieces all by my lonesome. Except for when I do, there's irreversible damage and pieces are missing, and I'll never be the same again. I'll never be the woman I once was. I cannot let that happen. Not again. Not now. Not ever. I just can't.

"Scared you're gonna love me, scared you'll run away."

But that's the kicker. Would I allow Marshall the risk of possibly ruining my life if things go south between us?... Well I'm already dating him aren't I? So why can't I allow the risk of love? Simple answer, I'm scared. If I could, I would. However, I genuinely don't know how to. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I chose to call the one person that knows me best, better than myself sometimes. My other half: Bama. I got my phone from my office, taking my position back on couch as I dialed her number, FaceTiming her. She answered immediately as if she could sense that something was wrong, asking if I was okay right from jump.

"... -o I'm not okay. I'm freaking out. I feel like I'm going insane, and am I about to lose my mind. Is this what the hell love is supposed to do to you, Bama?! Is it supposed to make you confused and upset and sad? Because of it is, I DON'T WANT IT. TAKE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK. REVERSE IT. DOUBLE IT, AND GIVE IT TO THE NEXT PERSON." I whined like a child that didn't get her way.

"Woah. You need to calm down, girl. So you finally realized what everyone else sees, that you love him?" She asked for confirmation.

"Yes, and I don't know what to do about it." I said as I felt an anxiety attack coming up.

"I might be in love with you, you, you, you."

I started struggling with my breathing as I took short, ridged breaths, not quite being able to articulate my words.

"Sadé, deep breaths. Everything will be okay. It's gonna be okay." She tried to calm me down, but it wasn't working.

My mind was playing tricks on my body, and I felt like nothing was going to be okay. Nothing was going to be the same between us now. I had ruined it.

"Can't hide this any longer, your being makes me weak."

"I can't. I- I- Why did I have to fall in love with hi-m. And the more that... That I talk about it, the more that I realize that I hav- be-been in love with him for a while now. That's what that stupid feeling is! I fucking hate it, Bama. Take it away from me." I pouted, closing my eyes as I let the tears fall.

"It cultivates the glow deep inside of me."

I don't know why this was so hard for me to accept. My heart was totally okay with it. It knew before I knew, but my brain - It wouldn't let it be. It's like it hated everything about love when it came to a romantic relationship or had anything to do with it in that sense. Alabama was quiet for a few seconds before speaking.

"Why do you hate it so much? You love love. You love helping people, love inspiring people, love when other people are in love, and are so happy for everyone and everything. I don't get it. You take well to love when it involves other people, but as soon as you're in it, it's like you can't handle it. Why?" She questioned, not understanding my frustration.

She couldn't wrap her beard around why I thought so negatively of it.

"Becauseee!... Of heartbreak. I just don't wan- to take that risk. Even if I know it's no risk at a-all." I said, tired of repeating myself.

"But you know Marshall would never hurt you the way Zach did so that's not an excuse." She said, seeing right through my bluff.

"I- I don't want to talk about this anymore." I tried changing the subject, but she wasn't letting up that easy.

There may be another reason: A real reason.

"Nuh uhh. What is it that's stopping you?" She tried to get me to open up to her.

Silence. That's all she was met with because I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I was closing myself up again.

"Sadé?"

"..."

"Sadé!"

"Fine. The truth is that I feel like I don't deserve to be in love again. I feel like I got my one chance at love, and it wasn't so great. So I shouldn't be able to feel that again. You get one shot at it, and that's it. If it fails, it fails; And if it doesn't, then great. My shot clearly landed short so... I can't explain to you why I feel that way. I just do. And the other reason is because I don't know if I'll make a good lover. I don't know what it means to be in a loving relationship. I never had one before him. I only how to be toxic. I only know how to defend myself from a shitty partner that tries to hurt me. I only know what it means to say I hate you to the person you sleep next to every night. I don't know how to love. And I know Marshall loves me. For some odd, fucked up reason he loves me. But I don't know if I can love him back because I can't give him the love and affection he deserves and is probably longing for." I shamefully admitted, my voice cracking.

"We can face this thing together, wipe the fear away."

With each word I spoke I felt more hopeless. I didn't want to possibly break Marshall because of my bad habits from my old relationship. He doesn't deserve that. I know I've been good at not doing so, but still. It could happen at any moment in time and I didn't want that for him. I didn't want to hurt him. I don't want to scream at him, or tell him I hate him, or hit him when he accidentally triggers me because I'm afraid of my past.

"I'll never mean to hurt you, hope you'll know the same."

"Sadé Aire Myers, I need you to listen to me and listen closely: Stop self destructing. This is a new era for you. A whole new relationship. A whole new man. And there's a whole new you. The only way those negative things will come true is if you ALLOW them to happen in real life. And considering that you're an incredibly cautious, selfless, and kind person with a kind heart, and the sweetest soul on earth, I doubt you'd actually let that happen." She told me thoughtfully as she enunciated every word carefully and slowly to stop me from overthinking so much.

"I hear you... You're right. I suppose I'll try to try."

"Try to try?" Bama repeated in a baffling tone.

"Yup. Try to try to see things through and take the risk." I clarified hesitantly.

Deep down I knew she was right. She always is. I need to stop self destructing. Obviously, I have a trend of doing so out of fear. I run away from all of my issues instead of facing them head on because I need time to think and reflect. It's not necessarily a bad thing to do, but in this case it is. I can't just run away from him. I can't just leave him hanging, wondering what happened. I can't do that in this situation. It's not the same. The consequences are far more complex. Much like my feelings for him.

"I'm standing with my arms out, take the risk.I promise you'll be safe."

Eventually we ended our phone call after more conversation on the subject, and I was tired. Not just from the call, but also from already having sex with Marshall. I got up from the couch and walked upstairs to the bedroom. I sat my phone down on the nightstand beside the bed, and climbed in underneath the covers. I decided to take Marshall up on his suggestion of taking a little nap so that's what I did. I steadied my breaking too as I closed my eyes, a lot weighing heavy on my mind. Wow. I'm really in love with Marshall...

— In Sadé's Dream

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I stand facing Marshall who has me caged between his arms while my back is against the wall. We had just gotten home from a date, that I practically paid him no mind on. As soon as we entered the dark house, he was furious. The only thing that was radiating any light in the room was a lamp in the corner that allowed me to see his face in perfect view. I still hadn't said a word. All I did was look at him. I just stared into his deep blue eyes.

I love his eyes. They're beautiful. They mimic the ocean. I could get lost in them for hours because of it's vast expansiveness, similar to such large bodies if water. It was something mesmerising, even bewitching, about them.

Since day one, I just couldn't stop staring into them. Every single room he entered, I'd watch him. We'd make some sort of eye contact, then I'd look away because I would feel so intimidated by how intense they were. Nothings changed about that. Not even after all this time.

"I've been watchin' you for some timeCan't stop starin' at those ocean eyesBurning cities and napalm skiesFifteen flares inside those ocean eyesYour ocean eyes"

He didn't even have to say anything in order to say everything. His eyes spoke a million words whilst remaining silent, not saying one. And he knows this. He's completely aware. He knows the effect he has on me. He's capable of making me cry by turning on his ocean eyes, reducing me to a blubbering, emotional mess. And that's exactly what was happening. I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to leave. Tried to deny it. Tried to fight it. And I tried to act like none of these feelings existed. I lost though. I still feel love for him. I'm still in love with him. I love him!

I pushed him away from me because I'm so afraid of love. But I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of feeling like I have to settle for less. I want him. I want love. Deep down, that's what I want. Being able to look into his eyes right now, broke me. I silently cried as I couldn't take trying to find an escape from him anymore. He knows how to break down every single wall I've ever built. Even this one. He's breaking it down right now.

"No fairYou really know how to make me cryWhen you give me those ocean eyesI'm scaredI've never fallen from quite this highFallin' into your ocean eyesThose ocean eyes"

His blue eyes lingered on my soft brown ones as tears rolled down my cheeks, smudging my makeup.

"Why are you crying? What's going on, baby? I don't understand this with you." He rambled, not understanding why I was in this current state of distress.

Although, it was less of distress and more about confrontation.

"Why've you been so distant with me lately, Sae? I've been nothing, but nice to you and you can't even hold a conversation with me? Seriously?" He shook his head at me in disbelief when I didn't say anything.

If eyes are a window to the soul, they are also a mirror of the mind, reflecting what we're thinking. His mind is sharp, clear, solid, but also precious, rare, beautiful like a diamond. However, that's not what is mind is right now. His eyes told me that in his mind he was confused. He was hurt by my actions, but that was never my intention.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I've been treating you, or better yet, lack there of." I apologized.

"I've been walkin' through a world gone blindCan't stop thinkin' of your diamond mindCareful creature made friends with timeHe left her lonely with a diamond mindAnd those ocean eyes"

"Sorry? Do you even know what you're sorry for?" He asked, backing away.

He ran his hand over his bearded face out of frustration as he let out a groan.

"Yes. I'm sorry for pushing you away." I admitted.

He just looked at me, still confused, trying to put the pieces together.

"But why? Why were you pushing me away to begin with? We have a strong relationship. A healthy relationship. We're both happy." He outraged, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Exactly. That's the thing..." I said, feeling a hitch in my throat.

"You know what? Whatever. You're talking in circles, and I'm not dealing with this. I'm not arguing with you. I don't want to argue with you. Goodnight." He said somberly, walking away.

I felt like I needed to do this now or never. It had gone too far. I needed to confess my feelings to him.

But I've never fallen this far before. This was all new to me. It's as if I was falling into an ocean when when I fell in love with him - And when you fall into an ocean you're in danger of potentially drowning. But I felt like I wasn't in danger. Not anymore - I knew I wasn't. I was safe with him. The only thing I was falling into was him. He broke the fall of the water that would've drowned me by replacing it with love. His love.

"No fair (No fair)You really know how to make me cryWhen you give me those ocean eyes (Those ocean eyes)I'm scared (I'm scared)I've never fallen from quite this highFallin' into your ocean eyesThose ocean eyes"

I quickly followed him, my heels clicking against the floor as he took long strides with every step he took.

"Wait!" I called out for him.

He ignored me, continuing to walk away from me.

*Silence*

"Marshall, baby, hold on." I said as I was just about there.

*Silence*

He was practically on the steps now until I caught up with him, stopping him.

"Baby, wait. Please. I'm sorry." I said frantically grabbing his arm, making him turn around to look at me.

"What?" He huffed out.

His eyes were pure. They were kind. They were comforting. He just wanted me to connect with him. He tired to do that with me all night, and I blew him off like some type of boujee, stuck up, brat.

Suddenly, I leaned into him, placing my lips in his. Because of my fear, I hadn't even kissed him in days, never mind anything else. He stumbled back, taken aback by my actions. Nonetheless, he kissed me back slowly. I pulled back, looking him in the eyes.

"Da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-daDa-da-da-da-da-daDa-da-daMmmMmm"

"I love you." I said quietly.

"What?" He looked at me with wide eyes.

"I said I love you." I repeated louder as my heart thumped in my chest, the sound ringing loudly in my ears.

In that moment, I saw a tear form in his eye. It was like a wave approaching the shore as it threatened to slip. A smile etched his face. He gave me the tightest hug, wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you too, beautiful. I love you so much." He whispered in my ear.

"No fairYou really know how to make me cryWhen you give me those ocean eyesI'm scaredI've never fallen from quite this highFallin' into your ocean eyesThose ocean eyes"

That night was something special. Something so beautiful, it felt unreal; Almost as if I was dreaming...