Part 16: You're not alone

I asked Loki if we could go for a walk, something relaxing, but I planned to ask him about Colby, I wanted to know exactly what happened that day. For a while we just strolled around, admiring the flowers, but it didn't last long when we came to a flower bed, below a balcony, that was completely squashed, like something had fallen on it, it was there that it happened "what happened to him?"

"Hm?" he hummed like he hadn't heard me, I knew he had and that he knew what I was talking about.

I stepped in front of him so that he would stop walking and look at me "what happened to Colby?"

He seemed frustrated as he glared at me "why do you want to know? Why do you care?" I suppose it was a valid question, why would I care about someone like him?

"I don't know, I just need to know! After everything I would like to know how he died" I was praying this wouldn't turn into another argument.

"There's your answer he died, end of" he went to walk away but I blocked him, frustrating him a little more. I crossed my arms and shook my head "look you don't want to know"

"If I didn't want to know I wouldn't be asking" I looked straight into his eyes, to try and tell him that I wasn't scared of his answer, by now I knew what he was capable of and even though I wasn't completely comfortable with it, I had learnt that I couldn't really stop it.

He was having a mental fight with himself, I could see it in his eyes and how he wouldn't look at me "I'm not going to tell you" I went to argue but he put his hand up to stop me "I'm going to show you, but you have to trust me, you may not like what you see" I nodded and he placed one finger from each hand on my temples.

A vision appeared inside my head, but it wasn't my memory, I was looking from someone else's perspective, I was standing at the balcony, the one above the squashed flowerbed, only it wasn't squashed anymore. I was looking at the rainbow bridge, I had this strange longing feeling. Then behind me came this distant chattering, I turned to look at who it was, there I saw Endre, Gustav and a few others laughing and talking, Colby was with them. He had a wide grin on his smug face and was shouting about something, I couldn't make out what until he came closer, the audio of this memory was slightly muffled "good riddance to her! You watch boys, it's going to be a lot better around here without that whore!" My body launched forward and my hand wrapped around his neck, it was then that I knew who's eyes I was looking through, my arm was wearing black leather and gold armour, I was Loki. There was a gold reflective surface in front of me and I could see the rage in Loki's face in it, malevolence danced in his eyes amongst the green. Ake came running from down the corridor and started grabbing at my arm, tugging at it but I... or Loki wasn't even moving, my eyes were fixed on Colby as his face turned blue. "My king stop! Killing him will gain you nothing!" There was this feeling like I had heard those words before but in another voice, then I was filled with more anger and shook Ake off of me, my other hand came up with a dagger in it and stabbed him in the side, everyone around me just stood and watched as the life drained out of Colby, then I walked to the balcony and lifted Colby high into the air then with little effort threw him over the side.

I opened my eyes, there was this look on his face, he looked sad "now you know why I didn't want you to see that" his hands went to leave my head but I only let one of them go, I took my right hand and laid it on top of his, flattening his palm on my cheek.

My eyes looked away from him "I could feel everything, there was so much rage... So much anger and pain, it was like it was suffocating me, suffocating you..." I looked into his eyes now as tears filled mine.

"It's not an excuse"

"No you're right it's not, but I understand now"

"It doesn't matter, you shouldn't have had to see that, I shouldn't have shown you, thats not me anymore, I don't know what happened that day" he took his hand from my cheek and looked down at both of his hands "do you think its possible to start again? Or is it a myth?"

"Yes I do, I can show you" what was I doing? Had I even thought it through, after everything it only takes one sob story to win me over, but it's not like that, if you felt what I felt you would understand, there was an overabundance of grief, this anxiety from abandonment, he needed me, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

He looked slightly shocked "show me what?"

"That you're not alone anymore" I rested my hand on his cheek, stroking it a little with my thumb.

His eyelids flickered "and this lost prince? What should happen if they find him?"

"What do you mean?" I took my hand from his cheek and slid it into his hand.

"I couldn't bare it if..."

"Loki, we are no closer to finding him now than we were yesterday, and I doubt that we will"

"But what if they do?"

I stroked his hand with my thumb "you mustn't think that way"

He sighed with a fake smile "I've been thinking that way long before I knew you my dear, I assure you" my heart broke then, everything he had ever been through in a nut shell, I do not commend the things he has done, now or then, but he had been a good king, he had ruled fairly during my banishment, I would try and help him repay any debt he owes Asgard and himself, to lift or so be it, share his burden.

"Like you said, the lost prince was never on the table"

"And thats supposed to be of comfort to me is it?" he smiled again weakly.

"Well yes... Anyway you're the one that said it" I smiled playfully as he gripped my hand, like he never wanted to let go "do you think we'll be a good... couple?"

We started to walk back toward the palace "oh so we're a couple now?" he spoke in a mocking tone, which was pleasing because that is how Loki should be, mocking and mischievous, not pitiful and sorrowful. I jabbed his side and he smiled genuinely "what makes you think we wouldn't be?"

I laughed "have you met us? All we can do is argue"

"I can't see into the future, but perhaps you... Perhaps you can" he stopped walking and began to delve into the deepest parts of his mind, then he looked up to me with narrowed eyes "I wonder..."

"What?" he stared at me for a second, focusing on my eyes, then he brushed past me and headed into the palace "Loki?! Where are you going?" I followed him as his pace heightened and I found myself jogging to keep up "Loki" he ignored me as he had before and continued down corridors until we came to a familiar setting. It was the corridor with the royal chambers, I thought he was headed for his until we walked straight past "Loki come on, where are we going?" he turned down another corridor that was poorly lit and only led to one place.

We came to the library door and Loki just burst through, as though he was eager to find something, he sped to the other side of the room and started to look for a book, though he wouldn't tell me which one "it dawned on me that because you're half Vanir, you have Vanir magic, that much we all ready know" I swallowed nervously, I had almost forgotten about attacking him, or getting all of the answers I needed "but I'm not sure which of them you would inherit..." I didn't have a clue what he was talking about, I still don't. He quickly noticed my clueless expression "I was wondering if you would inherit all of the given powers or only some of them, and if the ability to see into the future is among them"

"Don't you think I would have noticed if I could see into the future?" he became irritant with himself because he couldn't find the book, instead he closed his eyes and a book came from one of the top shelves and floated down to him "you've got to show me how you do that"

He smiled and began to flick through the pages "to answer your question, you didn't know you could send people flying into columns, which last time I checked wasn't a Vanir trait"

"I'm so confused"

It appeared he found the page he was looking for "though it is uncommon for interracial relations between two different realms, it is believed to be a fifty- fifty chance of inheriting traits from both sides of the relation, this text focuses on the interracial relationship between Aesir and Vanir folk. There is an equal chance of the offspring of both parents to receive powers from the Vanir side, the offspring could receive every Vanir gift but equally could result in nothing, in addition they may not inherit the entirety of powers they may only be given a few of their gifts. With the added complexity of having Aesir and Vanir blood, the powers may also carry Asgardian characteristics. It's all here Eerika, every detail about your inheritance, it's right here"

After a while I began to day dream about the silkiness of his voice as he read to me, so I figured it would be a good idea to take the book to study a little, just so I could catch up on everything he had just said, however I wasn't about to let on that I wasn't actually listening "I never knew"

"Well how could you? No offence but you didn't exactly have plenty of family to tell you"

"My aunt should have told me, I doubt she didn't know, in fact thats probably why she fell out with my mother"

"Who did tell you?"

"Well Sif pointed out the colour of my hair and that it was odd for an Asgardian, so we asked the queen and she told me everything"

"And how would she know? I mean your fathers business was none of hers"

"Well a Vanir marrying outside of Vanaheim must have been the height of her concern, plus she's the queen, she knows everything" he nodded his head once slowly, I could tell there was more to this than he was letting on to me, I could see the theory's hatching in his cunning mind.