30- The Feelings Through The Bond

Liam escourted me back into my room where he bid me farewell for the night, telling me just to 'relax' and 'calm down' like those words were really going to help me in this moment, though I do appreciate his attempt.

Now I feel a growing sensation of bothered, by Xaden's words. Is that what Segyl told him? Is that why Rhys isn't channeling into me? Technically Andarna already did when she saved me but hers is a minuscule amount...

Is he really not channeling into me because of my temper? I flop on my bed looking up at the ceiling sighing, though Riorson is a cocky jerk.. he's right. If I can't hold my flaming temper, how am I supposed to hold and control the channeling of one of the most powerful dragons on the Continent?

If that's the only reason which Riorson seems pretty confident in I guess I'm good as dead, because that was something I was never ready to control.. It's something I need..help with.

And that's when my stomach knots.. I might need to ask for his help. I'll need to swallow my ego and tomorrow I'll need to ask him for his help..

I groan, knowing that's maybe my only possible option.. it's not like he can say no. I adjust slipping into my bed, deciding that's what I'll need to do.

I don't know how long it was.. but my eyes shoot open to an immense..feeling flooding through me, almost burning, it makes me skin physically heat, sweat brimming my forehead as I throw my covers off as if they were harming me.

What the hell.. My skin tingles and I feel jolts pecking at all parts of my body before they settle into something more pleasant.. I feel goosebumps form and butterfiles flutter in my gut as if..

Rhys said they could feel me when... So.. is he..

Oh..shit..ew..

The heat only intensifies making me feel now restless I rise, hoping I just woke up for the end of it, but I only feel hotter, I feel more and more bothered, I feel...

Like I need someone in my bed. Right now. I just need someone I need him...

..HIM?!...

That decided it.. I need to go on a long..long..walk. I debated waking Liam but seeing he's literal eye candy and in my state..that might be a mistake I'm not willing to make.

I grab a lighter cloak seeing how hot I am and open my door, really hoping he was only lying about the door thing..

I open it, waiting just a few seconds to see if Liam would appear..he didn't..good. I take off the feeling growing stronger and stronger, so much so I thought I might fall from the over abundance of..whatever this is.

I push the large doors open with all my might, leading me into the courtyard. It's Mid December and the air is frigid, though it feels awefully good on my burning skin. I let the air wrap around me, stealing the heat letting it drift away from my body.

It feels so well I could literally just go in a snowbank and sleep. I was just relaxing when I got a smell of something sweet and something all to familiar.... I look over at Xaden who was leaning on the wall smoking something.

Seeing smoking is prohibited, and the smell is something unusual I'm guessing he'd be in a shit ton of trouble if someone sees him..but here he is looking all leisurely and so hot...

I snap my attention away, no I can't think like that....

I see his eyes snapping to mine, he seems to be taking in my body scanning me up and down taking a long, slow drag. " Want a hit?" He offers.

I was tempted to turn around and see if he was talking to someone behind me.. His tone did seem as...jerkish as it normally sounds.

" Seeing it's probably something you shouldn't be having... No thanks."

" It's Churum.." He exhales a huge puff of the all to sweet smell, " Helps on the nights like tonight." He slides it almost seamlessly in my hands and seeing that alone makes the urge even stronger to climb him like a damn tree.

I take a huge puff, the effects taking over almost instantly as I flutter my eyes close leaning on the cold wall. " Feeling it?" Xaden asks, his tone sounding a bit more amused.

I hum, opening my eyes and making the..fatal.. mistake of looking at him. He's smiling, not only was his voice so damn appealing with that tone, the way he smiles.. genuine smile, not the jackass one... is so dangerously beautiful.

" I'd take another couple puffs Fury, your looking a little.. eager." It sounds like he purrs, purposely spiting me, or wanting to upset me..or rile me up or.. I inhale 3 more times quickly letting my head spin, the heat slowly disappearing just a little.. but the knots in my stomach seem to tighten.

" Has this always happened? When you got Segyl as a dragon when they decide to.."

His smooth laugh fills my ears, my head, my senses once more, I sigh at his laugh needing, pulling away from him looking out as the snow now just falls. " Yes, and I've woken up in to many beds."

" Have you ever felt like your on fire, like you just want to rub up on anyone end everyone.." I babble like I can't even control it inching closer to him, looking up in those eyes, just want to pull him into me..

He seems to take notice twisting his head almost jerkily, " Have you grounded yet?"

" Grounded?" I smirk, " What's that?"

He sighs deeply taking a step back, " Shit Fury.." He takes the cig from my hand, inhaling a few more times before giving it back to me. " Your going to rub allover everyone if you don't know how to ground-"

" Does it look like I'm channeling?" I question, my tone sounding a little suggestive. He keeps me at a distance putting his hand on my shoulder... The urge I had to just bite or kiss his arm...

" Technically he is channeling you a little if you can feel him all of the sudden and..this strongly..." He mutters, " Ok, listen..

" I'm listening.." I take a step closer leaning my head up. He let out a deep breath backing me up against the wall, holding me back by my hips... his thumbs brushing against me making some of the heat disappear.

My focus clears just a bit as I look up at him, he's looking back down at me with a look saying he's feeling something stir within him as well. " Are you feeling a bit more..satisfied?" He grins. " Enough to pay attention?"

" Tell me how to ground.." I spit.

" Not with such a sharp tone like that Fury." He says, " Ask me nicely. I'll wait."

" Then your going to be waiting awhile.." I snap feeling more heat rise as he takes his hand off of me, I was tempted to grab them again and put them on me.

" I don't think you realize how patient I can be. Besides I'm the one with the joint, and I'm already grounding..while you Fury.." He knows exactly what he's doing as he drops the hood of my cloak revealing my loose hair flowing in the wind, brushing some off my face.

I couldn't help fluttering my eyes when his fingers grazed my face, he knows I'm craving this and he's using it against me. " ... You are so defenseless right now.." He whispers. " So say please and I won't leave you to fend for yourself.."

He drops his hand, his words about leaving makes me want to just wrap around him... This smart, arrogent ass.. " Fine. Will you teach my to ground?"

" Say that pretty word." He whispers.

My pride was the only thing making me not beg him, but when he talks like that even that is slipping. I swallow taking a breath, " Please."

" Say it like you mean it." He pushes.

Once this is over.. I'm killing him.

" Please Xaden.."

He smiles so brightly like he just won the whole damn universe, " I knew you'd sound heavenly when you begged.."

My gaze instantly sours, " Shut up..."

He chuckles, " Your alot prettier when your expression isn't to sour... I like when you look up at me with those pretty little eyes looking like your just about ready to pounce on me...."

I needed to take a breath.. " Please.. I feel a massive wave coming..."

He pushes me back a little rougher, " Since you asked so nicely.. Close your eyes.."

I d as he asks, I feel both his hands cup the sides of my face. I let out a breathless sigh involentarily, " This..you need to be touching me?"

" No.. But we both need a little relief.." He mutters making my eyes flutter open again. " I thought you said you can control it." I almost mock.

" I can. Doesn't mean I can't feel it, and you, the way your radiating a heat.. I never had Rhys rider when this happened and frankly it's kicking my ass."

This makes me smile, biting my lip as I look up at him. Even with my considerable height I feel small with his massive frame hovering over me. He's looking at me deeply making my gut clench even more. " Close those damn endearing eyes before I start t slip." He commands his touch light coming from my cheeks lightly closing my eyes for me.

I do as he asks, his fingers now trailing to almost the back of my head, " You need to think of a place that you felt the happiest, most safe, somewhere if you could stay in that moment forever you would without hesitation.." I hear his deep voice speak smoothly.

I think back to where we were stationed in Krovla Province, the memory Amber used.. " Ok.."

" You need to imagine burying your feet or legs in..where are you?" Xaden asks.

" A beach we were station on the Krovla Province." I whisper.

" Good.." I feel his fingers rub back and fourth making me want to melt.. " Is the ground cold?hot? Imagine what that feels like.."

I remember the sand was cool, the coolness that makes you relax or fall in a deeper slumber, " It's cold."

" Push yourself deeper in, until you think you can't get pulled back out.."

I imagine myself burying myself deeper, the relief flooding me. " Ok.."

" Can you still feel Rhys?"

I nod.

" Where's the power coming from?" Xaden asks, " Wherever it's coming from..bury it, cut it off..."

I can feel it coming from the shoreline, I let it seep into the sand, the hot sand just up ahead in my mind, the kind thats so hot it can't be quenched... " Direct it Freya.." Xaden whispers as if reading my thoughts.

And that's what I do, I let the water seep into that sand getting sucked up. " Don't stop until it's dry, take everything.." Xaden instructs, " Your doing good..'

I can feel almost a thirst for the power as I take leech more and more out until it dries.. I feel my whole body and mind relax as I slowly open my eyes once more looking at Xaden, the admiring didn't stop for a moment I thought it actually didn't work...

Until I realize this..this..this is genuine fondness..

" It took me weeks to get grounded so well, and you got it on the first try.. That's astonishing.." He says quietly, looking at me with what I think is actual shock and maybe a little proudness.

" Well I guess I'm actually good at something then.."

He shakes his head, " Your amazing at a shit ton of things Fury.. You just don't realize it."

My gaze softens as I look at him..really look at him. He takes a step closer just mere inches away from me, " You know.. I realized you don't know how special you truly are."

" And I think it's just the unraveling of the bond talking." I nearly whisper.

He shakes his head, " No, I've seen it since the first day at Parapet, then at your first challenge, I've seen it how fiercely you defended Hetta from me, from the others, how you defend yourself.." He closes in just a bit more, groaning " I've been so deeply rooted in my grounding since my first year..and here you are just looking at me with those eyes tearing me up so easily..wanting just to give in and lose all the damned control I have.."

" You don't want this Xaden it's the bond..it's our dragons.."

" I know..but there's been this little annoyance since I first laid eyes on you that I can't quite itch..." He mumbles closing me in with his body against the wall. " I've been wondering how soft your lips really are, how many times I wished when you shot back at me with those smartass comments I could just shut you up by kissing you.."

He comes closer pressing me firmly against the wall even if I wanted to escape, I don't think I actually could, and the most bizarre part is.. I wouldn't all I want is..him... was that hate I felt for him maybe something.. else?

" You don't know how long I've wanted you just like this..." He mutters leaning closer.

" You sure?" I ask nervously.

" So damn positive.."

" I-"

He grips my throat, " Shut up." he says crashing his lips on mine....

It was such a raw hunger once his lips claimed mine, the want only intensified into a pleasurable aching as I wrap my arms around him kissing him back with equal ferocity. His hand run through my hair taking a fistful pulling my head to kiss me at a sharper angle. " You taste so damn divine." He growls biting my lip before his tongue grazed over it as an apology.

His tongue soon slips inbetween my lips utterly claiming me, a breathless moan escapes making him even more eager, reaching down scooping me up pushing me even tighter against the wall as his hot breath, then lips trail from my mouth to my jawline, then to my neck, biting, licking, kissing..

" So are you just hating how this feels?" HE whispers right in my ear before gently biting it sending my body trembling.

" Despise it." I answer, though I know I'm only lying to myself.

" Just hate how our bodies are pressed up against eachother? How everything I do just drives you insane?"

The hunger is almost unbearable on so many levels. I know I shouldn't, that this is wrong, that you two aren't meant to be together.

And yet every moment you spend pressed against Xaden feels right. So right.

"That's what I thought." Xaden whispers as he pulls you closer, and then he buries his lips into your neck, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin.

My body now felt like I was buzzing.. like I was coming undone.. like something was just waiting to be realeased.. I pull him closer so consumed with him until I felt shaking... ground shaking.. but it wasn't that, it was the all of the sudden powerful wind that made Xaden move a step from how strong it was, or the lightning that just boomed.

Lightning in..winter?

Xaden pulls away so fast it even made me jump. He looks out for a couple seconds his face paling before he looks back at me looking...scared? He sets me down, " You need to go." He says quickly.

I was so kiss drunk I didn't think I heard him right, "What?"

" You need to go, before we both lose all control and shit goes down..' He says again, " Go to bed and forget this ever happened."

I.. what?

" Go Freya..please..go." Xaden say giving me a little nudge. " Please..."

I swallow that huge lump of rejection not saying another word throwing my hood of my cloak on and going back out of the courtyard and to my room..