Chapter 145

Katniss

He arrived almost two weeks after he was supposed to. Peeta was convinced that he loved me so much, that I made him feel so safe and protected and loved, that he didn't want to come out. I wasn't buying it. Towards the end I rarely left our bedroom, though I hardly ever slept. I was never hungry. I was always angry, and Haymitch's near constant remarks of how "nothing really changed" didn't particularly help the situation. 

Peeta was practically at a loss for what to do. I know he tried to help me as much as he could, what with taking care of Willow and making sure I ate enough and took my medications and supplements, but really there was nothing he could do for me. I was in misery. Long, tiresome misery that I could not escape no matter what I did. 

When I first realized that he was coming, I didn't believe it at first. Not because I was scared. I thought I would be. I was terrified with Willow. But with this little one I wanted nothing more but to hold them in my arms, tightly against my chest. I wanted them to hold onto my finger with their whole fist, I wanted to see Peeta's crystal eyes grow watery at the sight of theirs. I wanted to kiss them and rock them and sing to them. I wanted to love them, even more than I already had. More than anything I wanted the baby to arrive. So when I first felt something different, I ignored it. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to rush to the hospital only to be told that it wasn't time yet. So I waited. I hadn't said a word to Peeta, who was adding his finishing touches to the new nursery he had been working on for months. He painted it a sweet yellow color that reminded me of the evening primroses he planted outside of the house so many years ago, and was adorned with dark mahogany furniture, small twinkle lights that hung from the walls, and a mobile with little yellow ducks strung up above the baby's crib.  

After hours upon hours of futile attempts to sleep, I was finally lulled into a deep slumber. I'm still not quite sure how long it had been, but by the time I was startled awake by the feeling of immense pain and agony, the sun began to set in the sky. I cried out for Peeta and clenched the cotton sheets with my fist. Anxiety and fear washed over me as I realized the sensations I had experienced earlier were not merely coincidental. My second baby was about to arrive. 

As soon as Peeta bounded into our room, my eyes filled with tears that spilled over rapidly down my cheeks as I was consumed with guilt. I began rambling on to him about how I had felt something earlier and ignored it, how I was terrified I had messed something up. He wrapped his shaking hands around my own and mumbled things I can't remember about how everything was going to be okay. He left my side to call for someone, whether it was a doctor or Haymitch and Effie I'm not sure, as they all showed up to our house eventually anyway. 

When Peeta returned back at my side, I was nearly crying from the agonizing pain that I was in. It wasn't stopping. I told him through tears and barred teeth that I didn't think it could wait for the hospital. I was terrified and so was Peeta. I had seen my mother deliver so many children in our old house. We didn't need a hospital. But my mother was also doctor, and really so was Prim. 

I shut my eyes tightly and imagined her, Prim, perched beside me, pushing the locks of hair out of my face. I imagined her holding my hand and smiling, overjoyed that she was about to become an aunt to another child. I heard her laugh. I saw her blue eyes that are so similar to Willow's. I felt her beside me, assisting me, protecting me, taking care of me after all the years that I took care of her. It was as if all of the worry, the fear, washed away. I continued to think of not only her, but my father, Finnick, Rue, Boggs, Cinna. . .All of the people who were there for me, protecting me. They all were speaking to me, telling me that they were still here. That they wouldn't let anything happen to me or my children. They said that I was strong, brave, capable. They told me I could do it and that I would be okay. Everything would be okay. 

When I opened my eyes again after what seemed like hours upon hours, Peeta had let go of my hand to meet a band of doctors at the door of my bedroom. I let out a deep breath of air I didn't know I was holding in, my body flooded with relief knowing that everything was safe now. Everything was okay. 

A short thirty-four minutes after they arrived, my son took his first breath of real air, let out his first noises, and moved freely for the first time in the doctor's hands. I was almost too tired to keep my eyes open, to look at him so I watched Peeta's face instead as reassurance that everything was okay. As soon as he saw the baby boy, his baby boy for the first time, he let out a strangled cry as all of the fear and torture in his eyes washed away like a wave on the shore of an ocean. "I. . .I have a son," he whispered. At his words, I felt my heart flutter inside my chest as I was overwhelmed with pure bliss. A boy. . .it's a boy. 

The doctors placed him, wrapped up tightly in a knit white blanket, gingerly in Peeta's arms. I watched as all of the tense muscles in Peeta's body relax at the first touch of his second born child, our second born child. He traced the tip of his finger over the baby's rosy cheek, and I couldn't help but laugh as I watched my son's face contort into what I could only describe as a scowl. "I've seen that look before," Peeta whispered to me, smiling from ear to ear. 

He slowly knelt down to me and kissed my forehead, "I'm so proud of you Katniss," he said, carefully handing the baby to me. I was immediately overwhelmed with the exact feeling of joy that I was consumed with when I first held Willow in my arms. "What should we call him?" 

I tilted my head and studied his face for a moment before shutting my eyes and taking a deep breath, once again imagining all of those who I've ever loved. Prim. My mother and father. Rue. Boggs. Effie. Cinna. Haymitch. Gale. Finnick. And of course Peeta. They all helped me so much, loved me so much. I want to honor them. I want to remember them all, but the baby can't have ten names. 

I sighed in defeat and opened my eyes, "I don't know." 

"What do you think of Rye?" he asked, his eyes beginning to well up with tears. 

"Rye. . ." I whispered, studying my newborn son's face. In an instant I knew it was perfect. For a second I forgot where the name Rye could have possibly come from, but when I looked at Peeta again I remembered. "Your brother. . ."

He nodded, brushing away the tears that streamed down his cheeks. I delicately placed my palm against his cheek and kissed the tip of his nose. "It's perfect. . .Rye." 

***

Haymitch came into the bedroom a few hours later. He and Effie had been taking care of Willow for us. 

"How are you doing sweetheart?" he asks, a sly grin on his face. I'm not sure if I'm so exhausted or if I've finally grown to be used to his little pet name for me, but I don't argue against it. Instead I smile and tilt Rye towards his Uncle Haymitch so he can see his face. "Can't believe you two managed to make two of these things." 

"Funny," I say, rolling my eyes, though we both know I'm really not angry. 

"What's his name?" Haymitch asks. 

"We decided to call him Rye Finley Mitchell Mellark," Peeta says. 

"Rye for Peeta's brother. Finley for Finnick. And Mitchell. . .for you, Haymitch," I say. Immediately after I tell him, his typically stern face completely breaks down and I can tell he's trying to hide tears from us. "You've taken care of us for so long. No matter how much we've resented each other over the years, you've never given up on us. You've never given up on me. And I know how much you love Willow. I know that when she was born you stopped drinking. I know that you love her like your own, and you'll always protect her just like you've always protected us. And for that, for everything you've done for us, we'll never be able to repay you."

Haymitch runs his hands over his face, but I know that he's crying. I know that he's happy, so happy. And I know how proud I am to name my son after him. He has been like a father to me for so long. After Peeta, the next person I would trust with just about anything would be Haymitch. And I know that both of us are too stubborn and prideful to admit it, but we do love each other. 

"Thank you sweetheart. Thank you so much," he says, smiling. I nod and focus my gaze once more on my son, my sweet Rye with gray eyes and a scowl that look so much like mine. Looking at him, it feels as though everything is as it should be. That although we've all been through so much in our lives, this is what we're meant to do. We are meant to live our lives the best that we can with what we've been given. We are meant to love. We aren't meant to fear, to worry, to hide. We have to keep going. We must teach our children, our family, our friends that there is a possibility for a kinder tomorrow. There is love, there is kindness, there is peace. There is hope. And hope is so much stronger than fear. 

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OFJENJFNVEOFONNOOSKD this is literally sooo all over the place and I'm sorry about that and I'm sorry this took another 50 million years to write even though I literally say that every single chapter. Just need to let you guys know, that because this is Chapter 145 there are only 5 chapters left including an epilogue for 150 aaaaahhhhh that's absolutely so freaking crazy you guys. It feels like I seriously just started this even though in reality it's been almost 4 yearssssss. I just love you all so much. I love this book. I love these characters. I love writing. And even though it will end, I will always love it. Always. -booklover2019 <3

*******IMPORTANT NEWS I FORGOT ABOUT:

With this chapter, I will alsoooo be uploading my brand newwww Everlark One-Shot collection which I am SO excited for!!!!!! So as soon as you guys are done reading this, it would be greatlyyyyyyy appreciated if you guys would go check that out because when you read this there will be at least one part up already!! 

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