Chapter 143

3 months later

Katniss

"Katniss!" Peeta calls me from the nursery upstairs. Immediately, panic courses through me and I feel my heart sink. It's almost 6 in the morning and Willow just woke us up crying. I came downstairs to get a glass of water and Peeta went to feed her. I think about what possibly could have happened. What if something happened to her? What if that's why she was crying?

I bound up the stairs from the kitchen and rush into Willow's room, preparing myself for the worst; Willow lying on the ground, unresponsive, not breathing. The worst thing that could possibly happen.

But I'm taken aback to find Peeta and Willow sitting in the white wicker rocking chair in the corner. "Come here!" Peeta says, motioning for me to sit beside them. I do as he says, attempting to calm my racing heartbeat.

"What's going on?" I ask. "You scared me."

Peeta shifts from the chair and sets Willow down on the carpet. He takes her by the hands and lifts her up to help her stand. When he lets go, she takes a few wobbly steps and walks right into my arms. "Mama!" she exclaims.

My jaw drops and laughter erupts within me. "Willow! You did it! You walked!" I pull her closer to me and kiss her forehead.

Peeta's grinning, his eyes sparkling. At first I think it's because he's excited, but I quickly realize that he's crying. I set Willow down on the floor with her stuffed bear that she got from her Uncle Haymitch and wrap my arms around Peeta's shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," he laughs, brushing away a tear. "I just love her so much. I can't even imagine life without her. Or without you. She's our little girl."

"Yes she is," I whisper, swiftly kissing him on the cheek.

"She's growing up so fast too. I mean, she's already learning to talk and walk. I wish she would always be a baby."

"I know," I say. "And I know as she gets older, it's going to become harder. I know she's going to pick up on things about us. Things we're going to have to explain. But I don't want to worry about that now. I just want to focus on her now, while she still is an innocent little baby."

"I agree. I just don't want her to know about any of our past. I never want her to know. Because once she knows, I'm afraid she won't see us the same," Peeta says. I rest my chin on his shoulder and shut my eyes.

"I don't want to think about that. We just have to give her the best possible life. A life that is so different than ours were, and then maybe she won't be as scared," I say. It physically hurts me to think about ever having to tell Willow about The Hunger Games or the war. I'm not sure what I'll do when she's twelve and learning about it in school. I'm not sure what I'll do when she starts asking questions. Questions about how Peeta and I met, or who Annie is, or where her grandparents and aunts and uncles are. I'm not sure what I'll do.

Luckily though, we don't have to worry about that now. Willow isn't even quite one year old yet, though she will be next month. We have time. To prepare her, ourselves, and any other children we may have.

"I think that right now we should be focusing on what today is," I say, biting my lip. "Happy anniversary Peeta."

"I'd almost thought you'd forgotten," he jokes. "Happy anniversary to you too, Katniss. I love you."

"I love you too," I say, our eyes locking. I study his eyes, like I do often. I take note of the small gray flecks towards the middle and the darker ring of blue on the outside. His eyes are the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And I'm so glad that I get to see them in my daughter too. I lean in so close too him, I can smell flour and peppermint. He places his hands on both sides of my face and pulls me closer to kiss him. Every time we kiss feels like the first time all over again. He runs his hands through my hair and to my dislike, pulls away.

"We should go downstairs and start breakfast," he whispers.

I sigh and press my forehead against his, so close that our noses brush against each other. "Can't we just spend the day here?" I ask. "Or maybe go back to sleep?"

He laughs, softly kisses the tip of my nose and stands up. He picks Willow and her bear up and says, "Come on angel, let's go make some breakfast.". I sigh and shut my eyes, desperately wishing for a day where Peeta and I could just lie in bed together, all day. A day where we didn't have anything to worry about. But I guess I did too much of that after the war. Of course it isn't the same thing. For one, I would have Peeta beside me. And I would be happy. I am happy, so happy. It seems as though every day I'm becoming more and more carefree and content. And I know that things will only get better from here.

***

Later in the afternoon, the three of us take a walk over to the bakery to check on the employees. Peeta took the day off today because of our anniversary, though really we aren't celebrating much. We decided that being with each other was more than enough. Still, we buy cheese buns and a small cake with intricate blue and pink icing for dinner tonight. Even after all these years, cheese buns are still my favorite, especially the ones that Peeta bakes for me.

"We should probably get back home," Peeta says. "It's getting late."

"I don't mind. I know how much you love it here," I say, squeezing his hand. "And I think Willow loves it here too."

The worker that bakes and decorates the cakes here, Leo, is bouncing Willow in his arms while showing her all of the pretty cakes in the display case. "I think she's going to be just like you," I say. "She'll be daddy's little baker."

Peeta grins proudly and leaves to get Willow from Leo. I almost wish him good luck. Leo loves Willow, he has since the day she was born. Everyone here at the bakery loves her. She's easy to love. That's how I know she's going to be more like Peeta than me. She's not even one year old yet and she's more likable than I ever have been.

A few minutes later, the three of us are out the door with our cheese buns and our cake. As much as I love the bakery, I'm glad to be back home. I just want to be alone with my family tonight.

As soon as we walk through the door though, my wish is immediately denied. Waiting in our living room sits Haymitch and Effie and the smell of cooking food wafts in from the kitchen. They practically jump up from the couch to greet us, wishing us both a happy anniversary. "I thought we would have them over for dinner tonight, Katniss. Is that okay?" Peeta asks.

"Of course it's okay," I say. Although, I'm not really sure what else I would say if I didn't think it was okay, as the food is already cooking and Haymitch and Effie are right in front of us. I guess our time alone will just have to wait.

After dinner, Peeta calls me into the living room. "I know we said we weren't getting each other gifts, and I wasn't going to at first, but I found something that I really think you'll love," he says.

"Peeta!" I protest. This has happened several times before now. We agree not to get each other anything, but he says he 'can't resist' and does anyway, leaving me empty handed and guilty. I already owe Peeta the world. I hate owing him even more than that.

After handing Willow to Haymitch, Peeta leads me to the big chair beside the fireplace and tells me to wait there while he goes upstairs to get my gift. I glare at Haymitch and Effie, as if questioning them if they had anything to do with this, but they both shrug. Somehow, I don't quite believe that they have no idea what Peeta did, but I decide not to argue.

Peeta walks back downstairs carefully, a large green box in his arms. The top of the box is missing, but I can't quite tell what's inside. "Okay, close your eyes Katniss."

I scowl, but do as he says anyway. He know's I'm not actually angry. I just feel guilty that I didn't really get him anything in return. I feel Peeta set the box down at my feet. When I hear Effie gasp, I almost open my eyes. But I don't. "Hold out your arms and open your eyes."

I hold out my arms lazily and open my eyes. What he's holding momentarily sends me into shock, tears threatening to spill over my eyelids. Peeta places a small, white cat with a pink bow around its neck in my arms. "Peeta!" I gasp.

"Do you like her? Someone was selling her in the square yesterday and I know how much you miss Buttercup, so I thought she could use a home," Peeta says, with so much innocence in his tone that I just about cry.

"I love her Peeta. Thank you so much!" I cry, hugging her close to my chest. Peeta kneels down beside the chair and kisses my forehead.

"What are you going to name her?" he asks. I shrug and study her carefully. She has a small heart-shaped pink nose, fleecy white fur, and blue eyes.

"How about Rose? I think it would be too painful to call her Prim or Primrose. But I think that I like Rose," I decide. Peeta nods, grinning. Looking at him, I decide there is something that I can give him for our anniversary, though I hadn't been planning on it. Effie asks to hold the kitten and I let her and request Peeta to follow me into the kitchen.

"I have something for you too," I say, as the door shuts behind us.

"Katniss, you really didn't have to."

"I wasn't going to, but I want to. I really want to," I say. "The thing is, it won't be here for a while. But, I can still tell you what it is."

"Why don't you wait until it gets here then? I like surprises," he laughs.

I take his hands and shakily say, "I'm not sure this is something you want to be a surprise." He raises an eyebrow, confused. I pull him into an embrace and softly whisper, "I'm pregnant.".

I feel his entire body tense up, and my immediate thought is flashback. But when he pulls away from me and I see his face, I know it isn't. "What? Are you-" he stutters, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I laugh, "I'm absolutely sure. I've been sure for a week now. I wanted to tell you tonight because I thought we would be alone. But when I saw Effie and Haymitch, I decided to wait. But I changed my mind--again."

Peeta covers his mouth with his hands, his eyes welling up with tears. "I get to be a dad again?" he whispers. I nod, brushing his hair away from his eyes, a tear slipping down my cheek. "Katniss, I love you so much. Thank you so much. I love you!". He kisses me and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as possible. He buries his face in my shoulder and I begin to laugh. Just this morning I thought that I was the happiest I could be. But this, this is the kind of on-top-of-the-world happiness. It's something that I never thought I would be able to feel. Something that I didn't even know existed until Peeta. Until Peeta, I was nothing. I was a shell of a person, guarded and emotionless. I was always in pain, always anxious, always angry. And although sometimes I resort back to my old ways, even if it's just for a matter of minutes, I am not the same person. I feel alive and happy and genuine. I feel loved, so loved.

Somehow Peeta sees me as some sort of angel. He thinks so highly of me for reasons I'll never be able to fathom. Because it's Peeta that is the good in this world. He is the light, he is the angel. And the fact that he doesn't realize it, the fact that he sees that good in other people that are no where near as perfect as he is, makes him even better. I love every single part of him. I love him when he's hurt or angry or sad. And to give him what he wanted most in this entire world, a child, is something that I'm so proud to do for him. He deserves everything. Because that's what he's given me; everything.

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Okay so yikes. It's been a rEAL rEAL long time since I've updated. And even though I wrote this chapter, I just feel like I'm not really inspired or in this anymore. I love this story with all my heart. I love these characters. I love writing. I love coming up with ideas. I even love the way it feels when I get really emotional in my writing and I type so fast the tips of my fingers feel numb. And most of all, I love you guys. You've supported me for such a long time and I feel so guilty that I can't give you the high quality content that I have been. It's not fair to you. I'm so sorry. I will keep writing this until it's finished. I have my plan laid out and it will be finished by Chapter 150. This book has been in the works for years now, the third year anniversary is next month. And we've been through so much. I've improved as a writer, and although I feel as though I've definitely hit a rough patch, I still know that I love writing and I've loved to grow over these past years.

So once again, I'm so sorry that this is happening. I'm sorry I don't have the motivation to update great chapters every week. I'm sorry that I've slipped away from this fandom. But I am trying, I really am, to give my readers (at least the ones that are still here) the best possible ending to this book because you've given me so much over the past 3 years.

Please, pLEASE leave comments for me. I don't say that because I want my comment level to go up, I just really need the motivation from my readers right now to keep going. Please leave any criticism you have, I desperately want to read it. I don't care if it's positive or negative.

Anyway thank you all sm, I hope to update again soon

-booklover2019 <3