⫣57⫦ Revenge

"He killed himself."

I don't hear him any more. Or see him.

I remember that first day with them at the lake. The way Tae stood on top of that cliff and let himself fall. I remember the way my heart felt back then as I saw him tumbling through the air. And I remember the thing he said to me afterwards: "I had the boys." As if nothing could happen to him as long as they were with him.

I did this. I took them away from him. I killed him. There is a loud screaming in my ear.

It reminds me of Hoseok when he was trapped in his drug-rage. Pain, madness, agony.Seo-Joon's eyes had widened. Only then do I realize the sound is not just in my head. I am screaming. My legs give out and I land on the floor.

I don't know what happens after that. The pain just stops and there is just him.

There is Taehyung in my barn where we first met, leaning against the wall with a smirk. There I am on top of a moving car, Taehyung's hands around my waist as I scream in joy.I feel his lips on mine as he kisses me passionately behind the gas station we just robbed, his unrestrained desire for me taking my breath away, as is his tongue.

There we all are, all eight of us as we sit around an open fire under the stars, me in Taehyung's lap, his hands around my middle, his smell filling my nose.I nestle closer, his chuckle sending shivers over my skin and a grin forms on my lips.

I remember the exact feeling as he took me up to that room and fucked me on that table. The way he felt so deep inside me, claiming me. Part of me. Forever.

I see his smile in a thousand different angles, his dark, mischievous eyes sparkling brighter than the stars, his long black hair tousled as if he just woke up, cute and yet dangerously sexy.

There is a cracking sound.

I ignore it.

I want to see Taehyung again in my memories. I just want to stay in this sate forever. At least I get to see him like this.

Taehyung made me feel so alive every second I spend with him.He can't be gone. I would have know. I would have felt it. How could I not feel a part of myself dying?

There he is right in front of me, telling me I look hot, his eyes undressing me as I smirk back and tell him 'I know'.His answering chuckle is like a melody he plays just for me.And here he comes again, shutting me up when he proclaims me his girlfriend.

The cracking sound comes again- but this time, so does the pain. Physical pain.

"Why? Tell me why?" a voice shouts angrily.

I snap open my eyes.

I'm back in the small room.No- I want to go back. I want to be with Taehyung again. I can't life in this world without him.Panic floods me.

Seo-Joon's face is directly in front of me as he smacks me again across my cheek.

"Why Lian? Why do you love him so much but not me? I'm your bother! He's nothing!"

Compared to the pain inside, getting slapped feels like a joke. So I laugh. I can't stop. It's just too hilarious.

His expression turns even angrier and it just makes me laugh harder.I laugh and laugh.

"Stop it Lian! Just tell me! What makes him so much better?"

Finally the laughter turns into a chuckle, then into a smile. I make a decision. I look up at Seo-Joon.How funny he is-that brother of mine.

"You really want to know?"

I ask him, my voice horse and broken from screaming. He nods. I smile wider as I gesture for him to come closer. He does so with caution.

Slowly I reach out a hand, like he is a scarred off animal. I see the hesitation in his eyes before he lets me touch him.I stroke his cheek.

"My brother. " I sigh softly. "You look so much like dad when he was younger, do you know that? It's why you seemed so familiar from the start. Why I always felt like I've seen you before."

His eyes widen.

"Really?"

"Mhh," I murmur.

He relaxes a little.

"I'm going to visit him, you know." I continue, my voice a little slurry, like I'm trapped in a dream. His eyebrows furrow.

"Who? Father?"

"Mhhh," I murmur again, still stroking his cheek.

"Why?"

I scrunch my nose at him like he is being adorable.

"Why do you think silly?"

I draw away a little.

"I'm going to kill him."

Then I bring my head down on his nose with all my force. There is a crack and a moan as he goes down, holding his face, blood spraying out of his nose. I don't waste any time as I hurry to the metal door, unlocked this time. I don't turn back as I step through. I don't gloat over Seo-Joon's suffering. I just lock the door shut.

A second later there is heavy banging from the other side, but I'm already on my way out.I hear him rage and shout my name but I just keep walking away. He is nothing but a chess piece in my father's game. That brother of mine is worth nothing, especially not my limited time.

I descend a staircase and end up in a farm house. When I step outside, I'm greeted by rain and forest and little more. We have to be in the middle of fucking nowhere. Perfect.

No one would come here anytime soon. The farm looks abandoned and rotten anyway. And who would bother looking in the basement?

I read it only takes three to four days before the body dies of water-deprivation. I don't care. He deserves nothing less than to die like an animal.

I glance at the SUV parked in the front- the only modern thing in this place. The fact that Seo-Joon has left the keys in the engine only increases my suspicion about how abandoned this piece of land it. I find my phone in the front compartment but don't turn it on. My father is probably tracking it already.Then I start the car and plan how to kill my father.

****

I take a no-name airline, only use the cash I found in Seo-Joon's things and travel with no baggage. I wont need anything for what I have planned.

I take a taxi from Incheon airport. I turn several times before entering, making sure there is no one shadowing me. I did learn some useful things from my father after all.

Now, I am looking over my shoulder.I even switch taxi's twice just to be sure.

It's barely eight o'clock when I exit the car a few blocks from my house. The sun is just about to set.There is nothing driving me but the rage inside me.The pain makes it hard to breath, like splinters stuck in my lungs, but my determination sharpens everything else.

It would all be over soon anyway. The moment I made the decision to end this once and for all, the pain changed. It's still there, ripping at my already shredded heart, but I know I'll be free of it soon.

Wait for me Tae. I'll be with you soon.

I don't care what kind of person that makes me. Maybe it means I'm weak or overemotional. If so, let me. There is only one thing I know. A life without the boys of BTS, without Taehyung, is not a life I want to live.

But first, there is a person I have to take with me.

I don't feel guilt or shame or repentance. I will do the world a favour. One less monster, father or not. He stopped being my family a long time ago anyway.

I take out the prepaid phone I bought at the airport and dial the number.

"Hee-Jin Chaol speaking." my mother's voice chirps through the speaker. I should feel something, but I don't. It might as well be a stranger. I only take notice of how happy she sounds.

If she knew her daughter was missing, she probably wouldn't be like that. But I already guessed my father didn't tell her. He was probably too busy figuring out why Seo-Joon had flown to England and where he had taken me.

That brother of mine might be cruel and heartless but he wasn't the smartest. He had left his phone turned on. Did he really think my father would not track it and put one and one together? He had bugged me and listened in to almost everything I had spoken with the boys for weeks. I would never make the mistake of underestimating him again. I pitch my voice.

"Mrs. Chaol. This is Sarah Lee from newfoundart.com. "

I hear her small gasp from the other end of the phone. This might be the only upside to the everyday calls I had to make to her since I left for England. Only yesterday she told me about this great new website selling hot and new art pieces to collectors. She's been trying to get in contact with the founder of the side, Sarah Lee, for days, but had not gotten through yet.

Namjoon has really taught me a lot: like how to play all your advantages."Oh, I have not expected a response so soon, Mrs. Lee. But I'm so glad you've called."

"Yes, well, you seemed very interested about the new ceramic vase by artist Cho Myung-Tae."

Despite everything, I haven't lost my sense of humour as I over pronounce the last syllable. How ironic the universe can be.

"You're right. I looked at it once and was in love. It is a true masterpiece."

"Well. That's why I'm calling you so late Miss Chaol. I actually had a buyer, but he cancelled last minute. I wanted to give you the opportunity to look at it. I know this seems very rushed, but may I ask you to come by later this evening? From all the potential buyers, you sounded the most enthusiastic. I wanted to give you a chance, but we cannot wait for long. There are already several other people showing great interest and have requested a meeting tomorrow morning."

There is no hesitation in her voice, only excitement.

"Well of course, I understand. I feel so honoured you have thought of me Miss Lee. Should I come right away then?"

"I'm still at my office. How about in an hour? I'll send you the address."

I almost roll my eyes as my mother eagerly complies, and I hang up, sending her the address on the other side of town. It should take her about forty-five minutes to get there.That, plus her confusion when no one will be there is going to give me a window of about two hours. More than enough.

I smash the phone on the floor and stomp on it until there are only pieces left. Then I pull another one out.

This time, I lower my voice as my mother picks up a second time with an identical introduction.

"Ah, Mrs. Chaol, is your husband in?"

"I'm afraid not. He'll be home from work in about an hour. What can I do for you Sir?"

"Oh, well, we call from Henker's and Tom's."

"Our security system?"

"Yes, well, there seems to be a little problem. All we need you to do it go to the control panel in your living room, Mrs. Chaol."

"Oh," my mother grows quiet.

I know exactly what expression she is wearing: one of uncertainty and worry. She usually lets her husband take care of such things. She doesn't understand much about technology, especially not the overly enhanced security system her husband demanded. Neither did I before I made Yoongi explain it to me in detail.

"Maybe we should wait until my husband is back."

"Don't worry Miss. You just need to tell us what you see. Please. I am sure your husband would appreciate this matter to be handled quickly but we have trouble reaching him on his mobile phone.""All right." She says and I hear the ruffling of her slippers over the mahogany floor. I almost let out a snort.My mother always does as men tell her.

"Okay, I'm in front of the panel now. What do I do now?"

I explain in great detail what she should be seeing, using the technical terms I learned on the plane.Another thing BTS has thought me: Commitment to the role.

"Ah, I think I found it. That red switch-thingy leaver is pointing upwards. You said it should be downwards?"

I smile in the ever growing darkness.

"Exactly, Miss Chaol. It's just a back-up fuse that must have been blown out. Please pull it down."

There is a second of silence and then: "I did it. Is the problem solved now? I need to get ready for a meeting soon."

She sounds impatient and a little annoyed.

"Yes, the system just came back online. Thank you, Mrs. Cheol. Please greet your husband for us."

"I will. Have a nice evening."

She hangs up. Slowly I lower the phone from my ear. Then I do the same as with the other and smash it on the pavement. Now all I have to do it wait.

******

The moment my mother's car drives past me, I jump over the fence and run inside the house. No camera will see me.

The leaver my mother pulled was no other than the main camera system.

For a moment I just stand there in the dark, giant house. Everything is spotlessly clean, just how my mother likes it. Every corner is neat and orderly, the surfaces shiny and dust free.

It never felt like home in here. A pretty prison, just like Hwasa once told me.

I miss her. I wish I could have talked to her one more time. Told her how grateful I was for her friendship. For the things she has opened my eyes to.

The house feels cold and empty. There is no love here. There is nothing to mourn or feel sad about. I just want this to end.

I snap out of it.

There is no time for sentimentalities. I turn and head straight for the wine cabinet. I know my father's routine to the smallest details. It's another weakness of his I can use to my advantage.

I pull out the already opened Château Musar. Carefully I open the lid and let the sedative drip in.

Then, to be sure, I do the same to the Sauvignon Blanc.

My father usually goes for red wine after work, but I want to be prepared for every possibility- just like a brilliant leader I once knew.

I put everything back in place.

Now there is only one thing to do.

Wait.