⫣51⫦ False Appearances

The next few days are a roller coaster ride with ups and downs. My parents, as I suspected, are overprotective, watching my every move. It makes it harder to meet my boys. I only manage to go to the camp once on Wednesday when I use the math team as an excuse again. And since we only have limited time, we use it to go through the plan on Friday and some more training. At least I get to see Jungkook, Jimin and Tae at school. While I have to keep up the rouse of innocent, sweet Lian from the past, Taehyung makes sure to remind me who I really am when he sneaks me off during breaks. And then he shows me just how nasty I like it.

He takes me against the book shelve where he had first told me I'm a bad girl beneath. He has to put a hand over my mouth to keep me silent, because otherwise, the entire library would have heard just how good he feels inside me. Then there is that one time in the teachers office during lunch break. Taehyung doesn't hold back, being rough with me, shoving me against the desk and letting me know just how crazy I make him and how much he wants me. I can never get enough of this. I want him- all the time. It's torture to have him sit in the back of the class when I still remember the way he likes to hold me down, touches my skin, gets rid of those annoying clothes and fucks me so hard, I forget my own name. Every second I'm not with him or one of the others, I miss them. I feel alone and cold, like nothing else but their presence can light up my life. At home it becomes harder and harder to put on the show, fake smiling until my face hurts, nodding and keeping my voice down until I feel like screaming and trashing the whole house. On Thursday my mother proudly presents me the dress for the next day. Thankfully, if she is one thing, it's consistent. It's a soft pink again, modest with long sleeves and a wide skirt that falls to the floor and to my great relive, covering my entire back.

At night I stand in front of the mirror, staring at my tattoo, reminding me that soon, all this will be over and I can truly spread my wings and fly with BTS. Be free. Be myself. Just looking at my father becomes harder and harder. Every time the pale, dead faces of the women he let die and whose death he used as a personal career boost flash in front of my eyes. I can't help it. I hate him. I dream about bringing him down. And sometimes, I dream even worse things. Things that both scare me and send a wave of relieve through me. I push the memory of those dreams far into the back of my mind. I might be a little violent, but I'm not a murderer. My father will get justice for what he has done- by going to prison.Thursday night I barley manage to find any rest, tossing and turning, thinking about the next day. The mission is risky and will involve me being a distraction again. Somehow this has become my role amongst them. Not only does it feel like I'm a part of them, but a vital part as well. I draw the attention in order for the boys to do their thing. I go through the plan in my head again and again: Pretend not to know Jung Hoseok, find Park Seo-Joon, distract him long enough for J-Hope to put a sedative in his drink and when he starts feeling drowsy, draw attention to me again in order for Hoseok to get the spaced out Seo-Joon into one of the rooms in the mayor's house to search him, question him and find out everything he knows. One mistake and everything would turn to shit. We only have that one chance. But we'll make the best of it. Because we're BTS

***

"Mr. And Mrs Cheol, welcome to my home. And this must be your lovely daughter." My parents flank me, smiling broadly at the Mayor of Seoul as he greets us. We are outside, the lawn neatly cut and shining in a bright green. Tents have been drawn up, shielding us from the sun and offering tables and drinks, the music calming and not too loud in order for the people to form small groups and chatter the evening away. I turn to the mayor too, feeling ridiculous and trapped in the pink dress as I force a smile on my lips. "Mayor Kim, it's an honor to be invited," my father says, shaking his hand with a charming smile. Who would suspect the monster hiding beneath? Either the mayor is just as good an actor as my father, or he truly isn't involved in the killings of the prostitutes as he smiles wide and open. To be fair, I no longer trust anyone. No one but my family.

"This is our Lian."

My mother then says excitedly pushing me forward like I'm a trophy to be shown of. I crunch my jaw, but don't let anything show my face as I step forward and bow to the mayor. "She is absolutely lovely, Mrs. Cheol. Please, rise. Such a beautiful, young woman should not bow to an old man like me." I like him. I don't know why, but I don't sense anything but sincerity about him. But since my recent world view has been thrown over completely, I can't shake my suspicion. I glance over to my father. You never know what lays beneath people's skin. Then my eyes fall on someone a few meters away, wearing a tailored, expensive suit, hair styled back and a glass of champagne in his hands. I let out a long breath of relieve. Hoseok. My family is here. I know I can't go over to him- can't let anyone know how close we are or how much I love him, but I feel much more at ease just seeing him. I wish I could jump into his arms, hear his happy, carefree laugh and have him chase me around the garden. That's until I notice the couple next to him. The woman is older, in her late fifties I think, her dress dark blue and conservative, a diamond necklace around her neck and her hair styled on top of her head with so much hairspray, I bet you could snap it like dried wood. Next to her is a man with a fine suit, bald head, and a slimy grin on his face. The woman suddenly reaches out and lovingly pats Hoseok's hair. The people standing around them in a circle let out awes and compliments while Hoseok blushes like the perfect son. Yes- son. Those people have to be his parents. My blood boils. How dare they pretend to care for him in front of them? How pretentious and pathetic does one have to be to abandon their child- alone, driving him into despair and heartbreak and loss, only to play happy family in front of others? They make me sick! But even as I barely hold it together, the hatred so deep and strong I can hardly breath, I know now it's not the time. I have to be perfect today. So I turn my attention back to the mayor, smiling some more while blushing and lowering my eyes. "Thank you for the compliment, Mayor Lee. This is such an honour." He laughs and it actually sounds warm and happy. "No need to be so modest. Enjoy the day and have some fun. Since you are new to Seoul, let me make some introductions." And as if the universe has a plan for us, he turns to Hoseok's group, gesturing for us to follow. Before I can do anything, my mother already nudges me forward and I stumble in Hoseok's direction. "Mr. and Mrs. Jung," the mayor starts and the couple turns, smiling broadly and smeary at the host. "May I introduce the Cheol family? Mr. Cheol here is one of the best lawyers in the country and has been asked to come to work for JYP. And this is their lovely daughter Lian." I bow. Hoseok does too. And when I look up, I don't have to force myself to smile. "Nice to meet you Lian. I'm Jung Hoseok. " I take his outstretched hand. Warmth flows through my body. It's like pure sunshine flowing into my veins, giving me strength. "Nice to meet you too, Hoseok." "Oh, what a lovely young lady you are." The blood freezes in my veins. Hoseok looks worried as he skips his eyes from me to his mother. I'm suddenly no longer sure I'm not capable of murder, Hoseok's recent attack too fresh in my mind. She did this to him. His dumb smiling mother and that weasily, smeary father of his. "And how do you like Seoul so far Lian?" My head snaps back around to Hoseok. I feel like waking from a dream. He raises his eyebrow as if to ask:"You Okay?" I laugh, maybe a little too sudden and loudly. "Oh, it's amazing. The city has so much to offer, I don't even know where to start. And school is going well too. " "She is just being humble," my mother quickly throws in, smiling proudly. "She's been accepted into the math's competition team this year. They said this is the first time they let someone this new join them."I lower my head, pretending to be embarrassed. "What a smart young lady. And so much potential. Hoseok," his mother says, touching her sons shoulder. I freeze, my eyes unable to look away from the touch. I feel like exploding. "You should set a meeting with Lian to show her around. Wouldn't that be amazing?" I try my best to hold my emotions in check, especially since Hoseok manages to do the same, nodding politely to his mother. "That would be lovely. She would love that," my mother answers for me, selling me like a prized steed. I smile and nod- just like I have done all those years. "Yes, I really would." "Kwang-Sun Cheol!" a male voice suddenly shouts and all of us turn. My stomach drops. Okay, this party is testing my everything. I stare as none other than Park Seo-Joon makes his way through the crowd. He looks like the complete opposite of his mug shot from six years ago. Older, with the grey, striped suit, the expensive Rolex on his wrist, styled back, black hair and glasses.

No tattoos. No sign of the disheveled, crazy youngster at all.He's unrecognizable- except for those eyes.Cold, cruel, heartless.

"Ah, Baek Min-Sou! I didn't know you were invited," my father announces in a friendly, smooth voice, but there is a low vibrancy underneath, only noticeable to someone who has known him her whole life. I might almost say it's worry. I try not to move a muscle. I did not expect Seo-Joon to so openly approach my father, and perhaps my father didn't expect it either. Both Namjoon and I assumed both of them would try to ignore the other's presence and keep a respectful distance. Obviously that's not the case as he slanders over and shakes hands with my dad, both men smiling widely. Something is weird about it, but I can't put my finger on it. Then Seo-Joon looks past him, ignoring my mother and his eyes land directly on me.I stumble back a step. I don't know why- either because he looks even more familiar than on the mug photo or because what I see glitter in those eyes is unsettling. I see excitement, curiosity and is that nervousness I detect? Almost like he had waited for this moment. I'm starting to get a very bad feeling about this. Not even Namjoon predicted Park Seo-joon would be particularly interested in me. We actually gambled that my father would have given him clear instructions to stay away of me- considering his line of work. It does however make my job a little easier. But then why can't I shake this weird feeling inside me? His continuing gaze sends cold shivers down my spine. "It's been a surprise for me too. Thank you very much, Mayor Kim." He turns and bows to the politician. When he straightens, his eyes skip back to me immediately. "You must be Lian, Kwang-Sun's daughter. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Your father has spoken a lot about you." He reaches out his hand for a shake.For a moment I'm frozen again. I know I have to shake it, but every bone in my body refuses to. I have to though. For BTS- and for myself. I snap out of it and quickly put on a smile, taking his hand. "Lovely to meet you. How do you know my father?" "Oh, I work at JYP as well. Your father has been a great addition to our firm. We're so lucky he decided to join us." Yeah- more like demanded it and you're the one who helped him. "I'm glad to hear that. So, are you a lawyer too?" He pretends to be a little embarrassed, but those eyes never change, still making me shudder. "No, No, not quite. I'm only 24. I work as a sort of intern at JYP. There is still a lot I have to learn." "And do you like what you do?"

I can't help the question, even if it has a second meaning. A moment later I wish I kept my curiosity in check. His smile turns feral, a secretive smirk playing on his lips, like he knows exactly what I really meant.

"Oh, I love my work. It's so diverse and fulfilling. If you're curious about the job, I'm sure your father can arrange for you to do an internship there. Wouldn't it be amazing to work together?"

Something is wrong. I don't know what, just that my mind is telling me to stay far away from this person. Still, I let out a little giggle, battering my eyelashes at him. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I admire my father for his work, but I could never be so-" heartless, power-hungry, greedy. "-brave and headstrong. And I've always dreamed of becoming a doctor."Seo-Joon smiles, looking amused by my answer. When he's about to respond again though, my father has already interrupted.

And yes- he is definitely not happy about Seo-Joon approaching me. Even though there is still a friendly smile plastered on his lips, he seems almost desperate to get me away from his 'middle man.' "We really shouldn't be talking about work on such a beautiful day. Lian, didn't you want to set a date with Hoseok over here? I agree with your mother. It would be nice if someone showed you around town properly." "How about next weekend?" Hoseok immediately throws in, smiling like sunshine itself. I feel much better instantly and nod my head. "That sounds amazing." Then I turn back to Seo-Joon. Not because I want to- no, all I want to do is run away from him. No person has ever scared me so much. I do it because I have to. "So, Mr Baek-" "Please, call me Min-Sou." "Min-Sou, then. I am interested though. What exactly do you do for JYP then?" He beams as if speaking to him by my own choice satisfied him greatly. "There is quite a lot. How about we go get some drinks first?" He gestures for me to walk over to one of the standing tables with beverages of all sorts. As I am used to do, I turn to my parents for permission first. My mother nods, if not a little disappointed that I had chosen my fathers colleague over a mega-rich, handsome kid like Hoseok.It's my father who surprises me again, as he too nods with a tightness to his jaw. Like he is reluctant to let me go, but aware there is nothing he can say to stop it. Not in front of the Mayor and the Jungs. If even my father is worried about me being with Seo-Joon.... I have a really bad feeling about this.

Nonetheless, I look back to Seo-Joon, smile and then say:"Lead the way." He chuckles and guides me over to the offered beverages. It's almost too easy. Now all I have to do is distract him, while Hoseok puts the drug in his drink. Maybe a little too simple, but I'm not one to complain when so much is on the line. "I know your father is very protective," Seo-Joon says as he takes two champagne bottles and hands me one with sparkling eyes. Despite being afraid of him, I do have to admit: he is undoubtedly handsome. "But what he doesn't know can't hurt him, right?" I eye the alcohol in his hands like I was seriously considering to take it. "Are you sure?" "You don't have to, of course. But what is life without a little bit of rebellion?" It's almost scary how close he is to the truth of who I am. Like he knows I'm just pretending. But that can't stop me now as I smile and take the glass. "Hey, Lian!" A voice suddenly shouts before I can set the glass to my lips. Both me and Seo-Joon turn to Hoseok, who smiles as brightly as he usually does."We forgot to exchange numbers. How else am I going to reach you?" "Right, I totally forgot. Can you hold this for another second, Min-Sou?" He doesn't hesitate, even though the dark look he shoots Hoseok freezes the blood in my veins while also making me boil with rage. If he so much as touched him...I take out my phone and give Hoseok my phone. When he is done pretending to type his number in, he reaches out and gives it back to me. But while doing so, he bumps into Seo-Joon holding the glasses.

They spill over and Hoseok pretends to be super apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. Man, why do I always have to be so clumsy? Here," he reaches behind me where he put a full glass of champagne himself. "Take mine, I just got it. And Lian, I don't wanna be a bust, but aren't you too young for alcohol? Let me grab you a coke?" I take my time to answer, like I am too stunned, but then I nod. "I think that would be best." He is already on his way to the other side of the table, grabbing for a coke when I turn back to Seo-Joon. He is staring after Hoesok, his eyes so dark, it makes my legs weak. "Sorry about that." I try and he snaps out of his starring, turning back to me and laughing it off with a smile. "Why are you apologizing? It wasn't your fault? Anyway. That Hoseok kid sounds like a responsible young man. I can see why your parents would like you two to meet." I blush, just as Hoseok is back with another round of champagne and one coke for me. "To becoming friends!" Hoseok announces, and both me and Seo-Joon clink with his glass. The three of us smile, as I try not to show my nervous fluttering stomach, knowing that step one was accomplished. Seo-Joon had taken a long sip. Meanwhile I try not to fall around Hoseok's neck as I taste my coke- laced with nothing less than vodka.

God, I love how he knows exactly what I need.