⫣32⫦ The darkest truths

They take me to the office building and my suspicion from last day comes back to mind, even though I know there is nothing inside but a dusty office.

But not in my wildest dream could I have guessed what lay beneath.

Wide eyed, I stare at the picture of the Black Swan ballerina open up to reveal a door behind. And then the secret they keep below...It all starts to make sense.

Why Suga is such a good hacker. Why Jin can drive like a racer and why J-Hope has bought so many different cars out front. And then there are the doers: the maknae line.

Had I ever asked myself what exactly they are usually doing?

And RM- brilliant RM who I always believed was kind of wasting all that potential to rob convenience stores and gas stations.

Seeing the secret bunker now, I know he isn't wasting it.

He is using it for something much greater. And whatever they are doing down here, they're organized and well-equipped. Not just a gang of young, reckless boys.

"What is this place?" I ask when I stand in the middle of the room, looking at all the computers, beamers and desks filled with electronics.

RM turns to me, stretching his arms wide and a proud smile is plastered on his face."This is our base."

"Base for what?"

Jin's expression is dark and yet the same pride glitters in his eyes.

"For doing all the things the police is too stupid or unwilling to do."

"What he means," Suga continues as he takes a seat in a large office chair, a desk with multiple monitors facing it. "Is that we take on cases that no one else is trying to solve. Unlike the police, there is no bureaucracy or rules for us."

I snort.

"Like vigilantes? But... isn't that like really illegal?"

There are a few chuckles and nods.

"We would definitely have to do time if we were found out." Jungkook says, but doesn't sound at all worried.

"Which we won't because we're the best fucking team ever!" Jimin throws in and shoots me a wink and two thumbs up.

For a moment I'm so dumbfounded, I can only stand there and blink. Then I can't keep in my confusion any longer.

"Why? Why are you guys doing this?"

They grow a little more serious at my question, and Taehyung, who's been standing behind me, turns me around to face him.

"Because no one did it for us. No one looked into Jin's case of domestic violence. No one stopped Jimin's father from using him as bait in his crimes. No one made sure J-Hope had supervision when his parent's left him alone at age ten and no one cares about the poor and the struggling like RM's family. No one is stopping a gang like X-EXO and no one asked themselves why Suga felt like he had no other option but to burn down his step-dads garage."

I blink up at him.

"And you?"

He immediately tenses at my soft spoken question. I see him struggle for a moment, like he's trying to hold on, but something slips. He looks at nothing but me when he answers just as quietly, endless sadness shining out of those eyes.

"No one cared about the son of a prostitute either."

I hear the others breath in sharply- see their surprise and pain as they hear what I think is the first information about Taehyung's past.

And then something like understanding and realization.

When I look back up at Taehyung, I see that he has closed off again, the sadness gone like it was never there. He found the control again and looks past me to RM.

"Tell her now. She has to know."

****

For the next twenty minutes, I listen to the story about a man I don't know. A man so ruthless and self-serving, I never knew could exist. A man that simply can't be there father I know and raised me.

I look at the photos of the women, feeling sick and disgusted and when I'm shown the photos of the man on their suspect list, my stomach drops.

My father's friends. People I've met and talked to. People who smiled at me and gave me presents. Men that I looked up to too and admired for their accomplishments. All their smiles suddenly made me want to throw up my insides.

And then their explanation of my fathers involvement.

My mind won't let me make the connection- wont let me believe that he has done all those terrible things. He went against the law! No... much worse...He used his position in order to use the law for his own agenda. To earn himself power and admiration, blackmailing the people he defended for crimes so unthinkable that I can barley imagine them. Or what these women had gone through.

And my father- the one who taught me how to ride a bike, how to read and took me to the hospital when I was sick and stayed at my bedside the entire night, was someone who let these things happen. Who made sure these men could rape and hurt and kill these woman so that he could climb the ladder of success.

He wasn't offered the position and JYP- he demanded it.

The boys were right.

This might really destroy me.

By the end of their presentation, I feel like my heart has broken into a million pieces, my past nothing but a lie.

If what they are saying is true, then every time I told someone about my great, admirable father, I praised someone who defended and helped murderers and rapists. Every time I spend money, it was earned by the terrible things he had done. Every time I told him I loved him-

I feel sick.

Before I can even say anything I turn and puke my guts out into the bin next to Suga's desk. Taehyung is at my side a second later, holding back my hair, but I shove him away. Finishing retching, I whirl around.

"How can you even touch me? How can you look at me when you know what my father has done? How can any of you?"

Hot tears of betrayal and shame run down my cheeks.

Everything is blurry and I see double- there is my father, smiling down at me, telling me how much he loves me and then there is the picture of the beaten women, their eyes wide open and staring at me accusingly in death.

"Lian," I hear RM say, unable to see him through my blurry, double vision.

"We would be the last ones to judge a daughter by her father's crimes. You had no idea. This isn't your fault."

"It is. I should have known," I let out, my voice breaking.

"I should have known. I mean... it can't be... I've lived with him my entire life!I watched and admired and looked up to him my entire fucking life!. I am his fucking daughter! If this is true... How could I have not known? I should have fucking known!" I scream.

I'm only half aware that I'm losing it, but my emotions override every common sense.

"It's not your fault. If we know anything about him, it's that he's a genius at keeping secrets from others. There is no blame on you. " I hear Suga's soothing voice, but I can't listen to it so I put both my hands over my ears, trying to shut it out.

Trying to shut everything out, but I can't.

Of course it's my fault. I had always been the loving daughter who never questioned anything. Who always did as she was told and didn't wonder about her fathers quick rise to fame and power.

Even if I had wondered. Even though I had my doubts- but never, not once, did I pay them any attention. Instead I cheered for his success and told him how great he had done in court.

It was all a lie.

My entire life has been one massive lie, wrapped in pretty presents and fancy clothes, clean apartments and posh parties.

I scream again, shaking my head to get rid of the images. All those women staring at me, accusing me, calling me names. Pathetic. Coward. Hypocrit.

I am distantly aware of hands wrapping around me and a warm body pressing itself against me."Shhh-" I hear Taehyung's voice somewhere far, far away as I drown in guilt and shame and pain."I know it hurts. We're sorry, Lian. We're so sorry we had to tell you. But it's going to be okay. You have us, you hear me? And we swear- from now on, we'll give you nothing but the truth.We'll never betray your trust again.You now have a family who will always stand behind you, no matter what."

The words finally manage to break through to me, chasing away some of the pain- but not the guilt or shame. Shame to be the daughter of my father.

I finally open my eyes to see Taehyung's worried face in front of me. I'm on the floor, lying in his arms and the others stand around us. There is guilt in their eyes too, but not nearly as much as rushing through me right now. I look back at Taehyung, shaking my head.

"How... how can you not hate me? He might not have done this to the women himself, but he made sure the people who did got away and can keep hurting them. Hurting people like your mother? I have his eyes-" I let out in a shuddering breath.

"People always say I have my fathers eyes. How can you look at them and not see him? The things he's done?"

His feature's soften and his hand reaches up to stroke over my hair, petting my head gently.

"The shape and the colour might be the same, but not what shines out of them. And there are no words to describe what it is, but every time you look at me, you Save Me a little more. So please let me save you too."

I stare at him and see no trace of accusation or resentment in them.

He doesn't blame me. He doesn't hold me responsible. None of them do. It doesn't change that I blame and hold myself responsible.But Taehyung is right- I have them.

Whatever will follow, I won't have to go through it alone. I have them by my side. I nod, ever so slightly.

They nod back in relieve and Taehyung helps me stand.

For a while, they don't say anything, letting me try and come to terms with the truth that is too terrible- and too unexpected. My mind is still not willing to let the entirety of the truth settle in. Still tries to deny it, even if the evidence... it's too incriminating.

Taking a long breath, I do my best to push it all down. Once I feel like it's no longer crushing me, I turn to them.

"So, what exactly do you need from me? Why seek me out?"

RM shakes his head.

"We don't have to do this now, Lian. Give yourself a little time."

"No. Now!" I fire back and they look at me worriedly so I explain.

"Every moment we waste, these assholes are allowed to hurt more women, thinking there won't be any consequences. So you will tell me right now what you need from me."

I stare them down until Suga is the first to cave in.

"All right," he lets out on a sigh.

"What we need is the evidence your father is hiding somewhere. We looked everywhere: his old office, his new one, your old house and your new- every laptop and every computer. Hell, we even checked the locker room of his gym."

My eyes widen.

"You went through my house? While I was in it?"

They all look at Taehyung and then back at me with an apologetic smile. Taehyung scratches his neck looking more than a little uncomfortable, but then shoots me a wicked, little smile.

"You look incredibly cute when you sleep, do you know that?"

I puff out in offense at his bash confession. And then bark out a laugh.

"You really broke into my house while I was sleeping? Even though our house has pretty much every security measure except maybe a dog?"

Their shoulders relax a little, like my incredulous expression bemuses them and offered a change from my erratic state just a few moments ago. But then Suga sighs and turns tense again.

"Your fathers paranoia and extensive security is only another prove that he is hiding something from very powerful people who wouldn't shy away from breaking in either. I just barely managed to get Taehyung more than an hour in the house before the cameras and the other sensors went online again. And we haven't been able to hack his phone either. He doesn't let it out of his sight. It's unlikely he has the all the evidence hidden in it, but we might be able to find some clues to it in there."

"So," I say carefully. "You want me to get you access to it?"

They return my answer with a hesitant nod.

"Look, Lian," RM starts, scratching his forehead.

"We know we're asking a lot of you. We can't expect-"

"I'll do it," I reply before he has the chance to finish his sentence.

"Are you sure?" Jimin says at the same time Jungkook asks: "Why?"

I reach my arms around my own shoulders like I could hold in all the emotions raging inside me."I'm sure. And I'm doing it because if my father really did all those things, I can't sit idly by. I've done nothing all my life."

"If?", Jin asks with an unreadable expression.

I lower my gaze to tell them the one thing that's holding me together right now.

"I know there is too much coincidence and too much connection that links my father to all these crimes and the suspects. But... I need to know for sure. I need to see it with my own eyes. I know the chances of it are next to none, but there is this flicker of hope that this is a misunderstanding. That he isn't the man you think he is. Just let me help you find out the truth."

They are quiet for a while, before J-Hope speaks up.

"And what if we're right?"

I manage to look up again, and I know they can see both the pain and my resolution in my eyes.

And the person who is answering them, once again released from her prison. "If it's true, I'll make sure he gets what he deserves."