Chapter 10

Like we did all the time, we sat down on the floor in a huge circle, which was kind of weird without JJ.  For the near month I've been here there hadn't been a time when JJ wasn't with me when nearly all the boys came over.  It was nerve wrecking, especially because I was certain Simon was up to something.  Although part of me wanted to stay on guard and not drink, the two drinks already in my system were forcing me to do differently. 

    The seating was not how it always was.  Usually I found myself in between Simon and Harry, but tonight Simon was on the complete opposite side of the circle, next to Ethan and Vik.  Harry was still next to me while Josh was on my other side, Cal and Callum were across from each other.  Cal was in the middle of saying something that made the other boys laugh.  I really liked him in the way I liked JJ where I wanted to be his best friend.  All the while Simon had a marker in hand and was writing things down on a lot of paper.  From here I couldn't see what he was doing.

    "Alright," he started, putting the marker next to him.  This game is a little different than something like truth or dare.  Basically we'll all go in order with statements and on these pieces a paper are everyone's names, enough for each of us to have all the names of who is in the room.  The idea is to pick the person who mostly relates to the statement, who ever gets the most votes has to drink, make sense?"  Even though I knew he was mostly talking to me, I'm sure I was the only one who didn't know how to play, he refused to make eye contact with me.  He was also drinking a lot more, faster than usual.  It made me kind of nervous. 

    The papers were handed out and my stack was placed in front of me while I waited for everyone to start.  My nerves settled down a little, what harm could this kind of game do?  No one was telling me to do something, I didn't have to call out anyone else, it felt like a safe game. 

    "We'll start with something easy so everyone can get the gist.  Who here is most likely to laugh at their own joke?"  Simon immediately cringed when Ethan yelled in defeat because he already knew we were all planning on picking him.  It was a fairly easy game to follow and I enjoyed it a lot more than the past two games we played to get wasted.  Everyone was constantly laughing and trying to defend themselves and claim that it wasn't for them.  Of course losing and still having a drink.  For the most part I didn't get picked for much because the boys didn't know much about what I would most likely to do.  I still took a couple sips now and then to keep up the buzz that was going.  Simon on the other hand, as drinking a lot more than I've ever saw, chugging his very strong drink whenever he could.  It was a shame that I didn't think anything of it at the time. 

    Everything was amazing in the beginning, when I was the one who had to speak, I picked questions mostly to get to know more of people, like who was closest with their family, or who had a dog they couldn't live without, it was all very informative.  The circulation went around several times and the one that actually got picked for was someone who was going to pick a fight over nothing, which wasn't untrue.  I was a very argumentative person, they all picked up on that early.  The only person who picked differently was Callum, who picked Ethan because apparently he got into a lot of fights.

    The time things started going down hill, as everyone could tell, was when Simon was swaying where he sat.  Before it was even his turn his was looking for a piece of paper with a certain person's name on it.  After Josh went, Simon had a grin on his face that I never seen before and I didn't want to see ever again.  It was malicious and evil, something that just wasn't him.  All the boys wait patiently for him to think of a scenario, not really picking up on the whole angry vibe he was sharing.  Most likely because of the booze.

    "Who here is most likely to lead two boys on and not give a shit about anyone but herself?"  As soon as Simon's words left his lips I swore I could have felt my heart stop.  At first Vik even let out a quick chuckle because of how preposterous the scenario was, but as soon as he saw his friends face he stopped.  No one lifted a card even though the only person there who liked boys was me, even though they teased Ethan about it all the time.  Me on the other hand, I couldn't take my eyes off those blue eyes while all other eyes were on me.  Waiting for me to do something.  I didn't even know what to do, it was like I was frozen.  This entire night didn't even feel real.  If JJ was here he would have said something, told everyone to stop staring and told Simon that he fucked up.  But he wasn't here.  I was going to have to say something myself. 

    I stood up abruptly.  No one seemed surprised, how could they be?  Simon put me on blast without a single regret.  Harry didn't say a work, I could tell he wanted to though, just couldn't make out the words.

    "Congratulations, Si.  You just proved you're everything like Aaron, just what I was afraid of."  My feet were carrying toward me the door before I could even realize that I was about to go outside at approximately 2 in the morning.  The only source of light was the street lights that actually worked unlike the ones in my old town the flickered on and off.  It wasn't cold out but there was a breeze as I ran as fast as I could, hoping no one would catch up to me. 

    Tears flew down the sides of my face as I flew down the streets with no idea where I was actually going.  All I knew was the I had to get away from him, the boy who promised he could show me everything good life has to offer, but just showed me the most vindictive side it had to offer.  Certainly I wasn't in the right for kissing the both of the boys but I didn't need anyone to point that out for me.  Especially in front of all the people I'm trying to be friends with. 

    The pavement scratched the bottoms of my bare feet.  Leaving the house without shoes wasn't the smartest idea that I've had.  Now there was nowhere to go and JJ wasn't even around to come after me.  I quickly realized that I didn't know my way around these streets, shouldn't have been surprising seeing that I never were to explore.  Barely ever left the house.  Maybe I could try to find a park to lay out on for the night, wouldn't be the first time.  At least it wasn't winter.

    Fuck this, fuck everyone who thought they were too good for me.  I bet Harry hated me now, God I should have just told him.  All of this could have been avoided.  Also Simon not blurting it out to every single person in the room would have helped.  He was so fucking bi polar, either everything was amazing or he hated me guts.  I knew he liked me, I knew it was hurting him to be pushed and pulled.  But he could have said no and instead he ruined everything between us.  Our friendship, what we could have been.  This time I didn't push anyone away.  He pushed me away.  So far away that I didn't know if I was going to be able to get back. 

    No, seriously.  Where the fuck was I?  These houses were all starting to look exactly the same.  Even if I wanted to go back to the house, I had no clue where it was.  I did however find the park that I was searching for.  Unfortunately I wasn't alone. 

    Three girls, who looked to be around my age, maybe older, were sitting on the swings passing around a small bottle of something, these were the kind of girls people stayed away from.  My instincts had always been a little off and when others would have just kept walking, I sat down on the bench.  They didn't bother me at first, not even taking notice to my presence until one of them glanced over.  I watched as she hit her other friends on their arms and nodded her head in my direction.  All three stood up at the same time and made there way to where I was sitting.  I sat up straighter but didn't stand, that would have made them assume I was scared.  That wasn't the case. 

    "What are you doing here?"  One with a ponytail that was so tight it was probably giving her a face lift asked. 

    "What does it look like?" 

    They looked at each other and I knew immediately they didn't like that answer.  Perhaps I was just looking for a fight that night, something to get my mind off of the events that just happened.  My body was nearly vibrating with anticipation. 

    "You should probably watch what you say, bitch." 

    "Or else what?"  I stood and pushed her away from me violently.  If I didn't hit them, they wouldn't have hit me first and that wasn't going to happen.  It was easy for me to stay angry, all I had to do was picture all of these girls as Simon.  Except that I know if I pushed Simon he wouldn't come back at me like the girl with too much makeup on did.  She swiped her hand at me and connected in with my cheek, I couldn't tell if it hurt or not because of the alcohol running through my system and the adrenaline.  All I knew was that it was a proper fight now.

    I was able to grab one girl by the hair and start hammering blows on her in any spot that I could for a few precious seconds before her friends pulled me off.  My legs  and elblows were kicking in defense, trying to get them off of me, I was able to get in more hits.  Ponytail girl caught me off guard while I was trying to break free from her two other friends and she punched me square in the middle of the face.  Instantly blood ran down my chin and neck, the smell was nauseating. 

    That would have stopped anyone else, but it merely fueled my fire as I welcomed the pain.  It was like I forgot what I've been missing since I moved out here and stopped fighting.  It really did make me forget about all of my stress and the shit that I was put through that night.  I was able to grab someone's hair and pull as hard as I could, making the cry out in pain. 

    As soon as the girls realized it wasn't so easy to bring me down, they all started in on my at once.  Blindly I swung my fists back and forth while they did the same, I got hit the same time I was being hit.  So much was going on so fast I didn't have the time to feel, just react.  I used to fight all the time, but this was a little too much than what I was used to.  How was I going to get out of this? 

    Eventually I lost footing from all of the constant pushing and pulling and punching.  I was able to grab a hold of Ponytail and shift it so I was on top of her when we hit the ground.  Of course her friends pulled at me to get off of her but my will power was what allowed me to stay on top and rain down punches viciously.  My sides were being kicked, my hair was literally being ripped out of my hair.  Tonight wasn't supposed to turn out like this.  Simon always had to ruin everything.  He didn't have to kiss me and he more certainly didn't have to throw a fit when he didn't get what he wanted. 

    "Kelsey?"  Several voices could be heard not too far away.  "Kelsey come back to the house!"  There was no way I could be bothered with the distraction of answering who that was when I was trying to stay upright. 

    It really didn't take long for the people calling my name to become aware of the huge brawl taking place at the park.  Maybe they saw my red hair, maybe they just figured they break it up because it was the right thing to do.  Either way I was secretly grateful because I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to keep this up.  It felt like it was going on for hours. 

    My body was physically lifted off of Ponytail and guarded away from that blows that were still coming after me.  I struggled out of the grip of whoever it was, not wanting to be restrained while they were still trying to attack me.  Whoever it was though was really strong and dragged down the block.  Surprisingly the girls didn't chase after us, I was just sad that I wouldn't be able to see what they looked like tomorrow.  They weren't expecting to get fucked up by a 5'1 girl.

    Once we were far enough away from the scene I was able to look at everyone around me.  Harry, Cal, Callum, Josh, Ethan, and Vik were all looking back and forth from each other to me, their faces were filled with worry and confusion.  If they were all there, that only left one person holding onto me.

    "Get the fuck off of me," I snapped, using my last burst of energy to push myself from his arms.  They were all ready for me to run again, but that wasn't my intention.  My only thought was to get Simon far away from me so I didn't do another thing I would regret.  "This is your fault.  You didn't get your way and now look at me.  Don't ever fucking talk to me again, I want nothing to do with you."  To show them I wasn't planning on making my escape I grabbed a hold of Vik's hand so he could lead the way back to the house.  Where the fuck was JJ.  I could tell some time had passed because the sky was no longer a deep navy blue. 

    "I'm sorry," I said quietly to Vik.

    "It's alright, I'm just glad we got to you when we did, they really messed up you face.  I don't know how you were able to keep up though, they looked pretty tough."  I stayed silent after that.  Vik and I were still holding hands, but it was purely comforting, he quickly became like a brother to me.  "Look, Simon messed up pretty bad tonight and I'm not telling you what to do.  Just please don't run out like that again, okay?  You had us all worried sick and things could have been a lot worse.  No one is on his side, there aren't any sides.  We care about him and we care about you.  Don't think he could ever convince us to stop caring."

    I squeezed his hand tightly.  "I won't do it again, I promise."

    "Good."

    Once we got to the house I headed straight to the bathroom to examine and clean my face.  Josh kept on insisting they take me to the hospital but I refused.  That would be even more trouble than I had already caused that night.  They had things they needed to do. 

    My face looked awful.  I physically winced at the sight of it.  My big lips were swollen and my left eye was shut, already turning purple with bruising.  Blood was dried up everywhere, flaking off all around it was disgusting.  Bruises were spotted all over my sides from where the other girls kicked me.  It hurt every time I needed to breathe. 

    Without further hesitation, I ran a wash cloth under warm water and proceeded to clean off my face.  It hurt like hell obviously and making makeup videos wasn't going to happen for awhile, which actually made me sad.  I didn't know how much I was enjoying it until I wasn't able to anymore.  There had to be something else I could do while my face was healing.  I knew I couldn't just talk to the camera, being far to awkward and not nearly funny enough to.  But there had to be something. 

    A knock echoed through the bathroom and I tensed up.  There was only one person I really didn't want it to be.  I hoped he wouldn't be dumb enough to try and talk to me. 

    "Who is it?"

    "Harry."  His voice was soft and dull.  Tears sprung to my eyes just from the sound alone.  After everything I forgot to even think about how he was feeling from all of this.  He was the one that must feel stupid from the way I treated him.  Simon made it seem like I was telling both him and Harry things they wanted to hear, but that wasn't true.  Harry knew nothing, had every right to be angry with me and I really didn't want him to be. 

    Placing the wash cloth on the counter, I opened the door to see him standing there.  The look on his face all but shattered me, it was a definitely a sad expression, but there was also a part of him that still looked at me like he wished he could make me all better.  There was just no fixing me, so him finding out had to be for the best. 

    He surprised me by taking my hand and sitting me down on the toilet seat.  This situation seemed to be awfully familiar.  The cloth that I had laid down was picked up and Harry, as gently as he could cleaned off my face.  "I remember when I first really talked to you, I saw you smash your face into the wall riding the segway.  You smiled at me and I thought for sure I was going to pass out, you're one of the most beautiful girls I've ever laid eyes on."  When I attempted to smile even with my busted lip, I could tell that complimenting me wasn't the point of this conversation.

    "Is it true?"  Harry asked.

    "Is what true?"

    "Were you really playing me and Simon this whole time?" 

    "No!  Of course not, I don't know what the fuck Simon was talking about.  He knew the entire time that I wasn't ready to date, that you liked me, that didn't stop him.  I wanted to tell you Harry, for so long, but I liked the way you liked me.  It's no excuse.  I'm just broken, the part of me that is supposed to trust and care about people in that kind of way doesn't work anymore."

    His jaw clenched while I explained to him why I was so fucked up.  "It wasn't fair that you didn't tell me.  Don't you think I had as much of a say as you did if we should continue talking?  You gave Simon that respect and not me.  That's saying something to me, Kelsey."  With a huff he stood up, taking a few steps away from me. 

    "I'm so sorry, it's not liked that."  He just kept walking toward the door.  "Please don't hate me, I can't help that I'm so messed up in the head."

    That got him to turn around just before he walked out the door.  "I don't hate you, but if no one has told you this before then I'll be the one to say it.  You being 'fucked up' has nothing to do with anyone else.  Stop letting people get involved with you, or get your shit together."

    Then he was gone. 

    I deserved that.  Maybe even worse.  Thank god it wasn't, my entire chest ignited with pain and that was the best way things could have gone.  In my head I lost out on a really great guy who cared about me.  In reality, I lost out on two. 

    Thankfully no one was in the hallway while I walked back into my room with my own little pity party.  Surely someone had to have called JJ by now, he had to come home soon or I swore I would lose it.  Step one in getting my shit together, like Harry politely phrased, was not blaming this on him.  He couldn't watch over me all the time, unfortunately he could prevent thing like this happening.  I just really needed him to be by my side and tell me that he still loves me no matter what I did.  That was only one thing I could always count on and I was screwing that up to. 

    My room had never felt to empty before.  It wasn't the room that changed, of course, it was the people outside of it.  Slipping away one by one because I was letting them.  Weeks here couldn't change me, months couldn't, even years.  Some people are just meant to be miserable, I thought.  I even had the audacity for feel sorry for myself when everything was all my fault. 

    "FUCK," I screamed so loudly I began to see stars.  Out of sheer rage I grabbed the closest thing next to me and threw it at the wall.  It shattered from the impact, pieces flying everywhere.  When I went over to see what it was I dropped to the ground.  My sobbing was ripping through my chest, everyone in the house must have heard it.  It was a stupid engraved glassware of London Simon bought me one time when we had all went to the mall.  I had told him that I had gotten one like it from New York City when I visited one year, that I planned on getting more when I eventually started to travel.  So he got me this one and told me that even though I lived here my whole life, a new start in a new place still counted.

    I told him a lot of things.

    And I hated him for trying so hard all the time when he couldn't just leave me alone.  Hated him for getting frustrated when I didn't plan on changing for anyone, even him.  I despised him for making Harry realize the real me and not like what he sees just because I couldn't give him the care he wanted.  God, everything he did pissed me off, the way he looked at me when he knew I was keeping a small part of myself from him.  Or when I didn't tell him enough about my past.  His stupid nudge as a silent praise whenever I had a good comeback to someone, making me feel like I was some kind of dog.  I hated myself for liking it. 

    Most of all, out of everything I couldn't stand about the freakishly tall, blond headed boy was that he let me push him away.

Holy shit guys things went down, didn't they. Please be patient, especially with the next few chapters, ya'll know they're going to get together or else it wouldn't be a miniminter fan fiction, but what kind of writer would I be if I didn't torture you a little(; ALSO please remember to comment, I love the comments, they mean so much to me and also vote because that'd be cool. Okay thank you so much for reading and I love you all.