Chapter 5

JJ and I spent the entire day in his whilst he finished up with his editing, trying to get as much done as possible so he wouldn't be stuck doing it every day like the other boys.  Although I can't be too sure how he got anything done with me bothering him every few minutes for attention.  Back in the day, we never had to fight for each other's attention because we were all we had.

    The sun had gone down by the time JJ finally stood up from his chair and stretched out his back.  "I need to do something before I go crazy, want to go get something to eat"  He asked.

    "Yes please, I'm starving."

    He lead the way out of his room but instead of going downstairs straight away JJ knocked on Simon's door.  A 'come in' was heard.  "Me and Kells are going to Nando's, want anything?"

    I looked at Simon, who had also been sitting by the computer, but he had a controller in his hand.  The game was paused and for a moment he looked deep in thought before standing up.  "I'm going to come with, I can't decide what I want."

    Josh ended up tagging along too, Vik declining our offer because had other plans.  JJ was the one driving, me in the passenger and the other two were in the back.  They refused to let me play my music because there's was "better."  All ride long I had to listen to songs with too much bass that didn't make any since.  Also having to deal with multiple car accidents because JJ couldn't sit still and kept laughing any times the boys danced.  If you've ever seen him laugh you'd know it's quite dangerous in a moving vehicle. 

    Somehow we made it safe and sound to Nando's, the three boys were quite rowdy still from the trip.  It was funny at first, watching Simon jump onto Josh's back, nearly taking the both of them down.  But then I've started noticing the stares from passerby's.  I wanted to ignore it, telling myself who wouldn't stare at a bunch of rambunctious teenagers.  That helped a little, but so did JJ putting his arm around me and going completely limp.  Forcing me to use all of my energy to have to pull him to a booth where I sent next to Simon on one side and Josh and JJ sat on the other side.  Unfortunately I was able to look at all the people who still insisted on looking at us after we were seated.

    A couple of young boys, maybe 8 or 9, huddled into the seat across us, watching us like we couldn't see them.  Their mouths hung open and with every second that passed my anger levels rose to an extraordinary high.  My temper had always been my downfall and I might have been in a new place but that didn't mean I was any different. 

    "Can I help you lot with what the fuck you're staring out?"  I blurted out once I've had enough.  It looked like I had upset them but I wasn't bothered, who were they to fucking just judge people like that.  From next to me I heard Simon let out a nervous puff of laughter and Josh looked at JJ like I've lost it. 

    "Kells," my best friend started.  "They're just fans, they watch our videos, calm down."

    Fucking hell, here I go again.  Giving everyone a reason to hate me.  "Oh," I refused to look up from the table.  "I'm sorry."

    "That's alright, it's not easy to get used to."  Simon bumped his shoulder with mine.  I knew he was only trying to be nice, the uncomfortable air was still settled between everyone.  There wasn't much to said after that, I was too in my own head about the things I could have done differently.  In their defense, the 3 boys really did try talking to me and brush it off.  JJ couldn't stop looking at me full of worry, it made me want to hide away in my room.

    Which is exactly what I did when we go home.  On the ride home my gaze would leave the trees that passed us from outside the window.  And the moment I walked through the front door I was up in my room on my bed, staring at me ceiling.  Much like I did every night at my old house.  It was not a good feeling.  But I brought these things upon myself, I should stop pretending that I'm not the reason people don't like me.

    A knock on my door caused a sigh to escape my lips.  "Go away JJ, I don't want to talk to you right now." 

    "It's Simon." 

    Not wanting to be rude I forced myself to get up and open the door.  "What's up?"

    "I wanted to make sure you're alright."

    "Yeah I'm fine.  Why wouldn't I be?"

    A smile played on his lips.  "You're a terrible liar."  With a shrug of my shoulders I spun around and went back to resume my position on the bed, purposely leaving the door open to give him the option of coming in.  The bed dipped down on the end indicating that he had taken up my silent offer.  "You do that a lot."

    "Do what?"

    "Push people away when something upsets you.  You did it to JJ for 2 years and have been doing it since you got here." 

    Who the fuck did Simon think is was?  Like after a day and a half he suddenly knows my life story and figured me out.  I didn't need him to tell me what I already know.  Ready for an argument I sat up on my elbows to look him straight in his stupid blue eyes.  "You have no idea who I am."

    Simon's didn't skip a beat, "that's the problem then, isn't it?  You haven't really told us anything about you, nothing that's nearly important anyway.  Tell me something."

    "There's nothing to tell yet, I left old Kelsey back with everything else."

    Ever so slightly I saw his eyes squint.  "You want that to be true but the things you do, you do for a reason that you haven't let go of." 

    "Sometimes Simon, you've got to fake it until you make it."

    "But-"

    "Simon can you come here for a second?"  Vik called from downstairs.

    He looked toward the door and then make at me before speaking up, "I'll be right back."  As soon as he exited, I got up right after him to lock my door and turning off my light.  No longer up for a therapy session.  He got under my skin tonight and as much as it really did piss me off, it also intrigued me.  Why was he trying to figure me out?  Why did he care? 

    The too bright sun is what woke me up early in the morning the next day.  With a clear mind I did feel kind of bad that I left Simon hanging last night, he was only being nice.  And as much as I hated to admit it, he had some good points.  Maybe that's why I was so angry.  Him and JJ are different.  JJ just always knew my problems, why I was the way I was and to have Simon ask me questions to learn what JJ knew.  It was foreign.  I owed it to him to open up a little more.  That's not saying I was going to tell him anything about my past, but maybe he'd understand why I didn't want to talk about it at all. 

    It was still pretty early but decided that if I didn't do it now I probably never would.  Still, I tried to stall just a little bit by showering and doing my makeup, trying to look at least half way decent for the day.  But nothing last forever and eventually there wasn't anything I could do to stretch my time out anymore. 

    Why did his room have to be right next to mine?  If it was downstairs I could have at least made it a 15 minute voyage.  But instead knocking on his door only took about a minute after a pep talk.  I almost thought he was still sleeping or not in there but the grumble that almost sounded like come in was good for me.  When I poked my head in I saw Simon still laying in his bed, the blanket covering only his waist.  His upper half was bare and his hair was completely disheveled.  Obviously I had woken him up. 

    "I can come back later," I said almost immediately. 

    Simon sat up and wiped his face with his large hands.  "No, it's alright, come in."

    He moved over a little to make room when I sat on the edge of his bed like he did so last night.  It was hard to make eye contact, confiding in anyway other than JJ never happened before.  Where do I even start?  "Last night I was really upset, and you're right, I do push people away.  But I don't want to be like that anymore.  There's things you're never going to know about me, that's just how it is.  I want you to know that things did happen, so much that I ran away from my hometown.  I'm here to never go through with what I went through ever again.  I don't mean to keep most of myself in the dark, it has to be that way.  That's not who I am and that's not how I want you to know me.  Against everything I feel, I'm choosing to trust you by telling you why I can't talk about what you want me to.  Please don't make me look like an idiot." 

    "Kelsey, you can trust me.  And trusting people means you tell them things that you don't want to.  I can respect that you don't want to talk about it right now, but this conversation isn't the end of it.  You can bet that I'm going to keep trying to know you no matter how much you fight me."

    No matter how inappropriate it was at the time, a grin split on my face.  "Is that a challenge."

    "If you want it to be," he replied like it was the same thing as us versing each other in Fifa.  We held eye contact, smiling like idiots. 

    Ethan and Harry came over around noon and everybody started to break apart to make videos.  It was particularly hot today so I went  back up to my room to change into shorts and a tank top that cut off above my belly button.  There had to be something to do around here while all the boys were preoccupied.  I walked around the house on a mission to find something to do while everyone else was busy having a life and priorities. 

    Then I saw the segways.  The only other time I saw people ride them was in videos, people couldn't afford them by me.  It wasn't a good idea, not knowing exactly how one of those things work, but I had to ride one.  My choice was the red one as I picked it up and moved it to the middle of the room to be on the safe side.  Putting one foot on it first, I felt it move at the slightest touch, causing me to throw my arms to try and balance myself.  I should have stopped there but my stubbornness showed when I attempted to put my other foot on.  For a moment the segway took off without my permission. 

    The thing wouldn't stop, in fact it only went faster, straight into the wall in front of me.  A loud bang echoed in the room as I hit full force and slammed onto the ground.  It didn't hurt so much as it was kind of hilarious.  If only I could have saw myself.

    "Oh my god, are you okay?!"  A voice asked.  I looked up to see Harry standing over my, concern written all over me.

    "I'm fine!"  I choked out between my giggles, holding my stomach to try and stop.  He watched me as if I was crazy, in the end laughing along with me. 

    "You're knee is bleeding Kelsey, come here."  Harry held out his hand for me to take and lift me up to standing position.  He pulled me along with him into the bathroom.  I was confused when he started rummaging through the cabinet for something.  My heart melted when he found what he was looking for, a Band-Aid.  It might be stupid to get so excited about something so small to other people.  In the 8 months Aaron and I dated, the only thing he ever did for me was pick me up for school, sometimes. 

    Then Harry went a step farther to sit me down on the toilet seat, peel of the paper from the Band-Aid and stick it on my knee.  My face was stuck in a permanent look of shock and awe.  He looked up and smiled with his nice, full lips.  "All better."

    "Thank you."  My lips curved along with his.

    "There you go, you're so beautiful when you smile."

Thank you so much for reading, please don't hesitate to tell me your thoughts, or what you might like to see, even if they're just fillers. It's definitely going to get smutty because Simon thinks fan fic is weird, we're going to get a weird as possible just for him. Please comment and vote<3