Chapter 26: Panic Attacks & Smokey Weddings

×TOP's POV×

Alright that's it, I really need to wake her up, she's been sleeping for hours.

My hand reaches out to tap her shoulder but something stops me. I quickly pull back, the sound of her heart thumping through the still air making a smile sneak at my lips.

Her mouth is slightly open and her bangs fall perfectly over her eyes. She's still  beautiful even when she is sound asleep.

Without a sound I continue to watch her, my arm under my head acting as a pillow. I continued to watch her chest rise and fall until I finally make my decision to try wake her in the sweetest way possible.

"Elise." I whisper in her ear, but she continues her soft snoring. "Elise."

She stays still even with the bright sun staring her right in the face. "Saranghae," I mutter before whispering sweet nothings in her ear, until she finally smiles up at me and yawns.

"Oh good you're up."

She suddenly rolls over and faces the other direction, pulling the blankets with her. I clench my jaw tightly and climb on all fours over her body, poking at her cheek childishly.

"Get up. Get up. Get up."

She nudges me off with a groan and pulls the covers over her head. Hmph.

I pull them away.

"Babe, it's time to get up."

I mumble into her neck as I wrap my arms and legs around her body; my last resort to wake her up.

She giggles from under me, squeezing me back tightly and laughing.

"I'm up, I'm up."

I release her from my arms to let her sit up and rise.

"Mmm,  what time is it?" She grumbles as she glances at her phone on the side of the bed. "Thirteen forty-one!" She shoots up from the bed and glares at me. "I asked you to wake me up early!"

My eyes avoid her glare by staring at the ceiling. "Mianhe."

She groans loudly before going through the whole dresser to pull out faded blue jeans and a blouse. I push myself off the bed and grab a robe, wrapping it around my waist as I watch her buzz around through room frantically.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to finish looking for a job," She says as she hops on one foot while putting a shoe on the other.

"Can we just stay home?" I grab her arm and rub my thumb against her skin. "Please?"

Her stare at me through my reflection in the mirror by the bedroom door as fixes her black hair into a braid."I can't, I really need to find one. I don't want to rely on you our whole lives."

I smile a little at even the slightest thought of us being together for that long.

Elise turns around and faces me. "I promise one day we can spend the whole day together when I'm not sick and you're not busy."

I turn my face towards the floor but keep my eyes pasted on her. "Can we just talk before you go?"

"About what?"

I slowly walk towards my side of the bed, grabbing a half empty box of cigarettes, a bad habit of mine which had taken Elise a long time to get used to. She is completely against smoking and has been wanting me to stop, which I tried to do but my nerves drove me to smoking again.

She sighs as soon she sees the familiar Marlboro box."I thought you quit."

I slip on a pair of white slippers, moving my hand through my bag in search for a lighter."It's kind of hard when you keep making me anxious."

She rolls her hazel eyes, crossing her arms before yelling at me to hurry up. I slip my lighter in one of the pockets, following her out of the room and around near the back of the building.

"Just stand over there," I point in a different direction, keeping her from inhaling the scent that she hated the most.

"Un."

What?

"Sorry that's Japanese," She chuckles with her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

No matter how much I try to learn it, for concerts and other events, it's just hard and really confusing.

"Its alright," I say as I smile at her warm-heartedly. Even though she sometimes mixed Japanese with Korean, it always made me happy seeing her learn from her  mistakes. Even when the words were the simplest things.

×Elise's POV×

I watch his every movement. His slender fingers, taking out a cigarette from its packet and he puts it in his mouth. With his other hand, he takes a lighter, putting it on his stick and he inhales. He takes it out of his mouth and exhales; smoke everywhere. I  watch him smoke; somehow, my look at him going completely unnoticed.  Seung Hyun continues – of course, I've  seen him smoke countless times before. Though the first time I saw him smoke, I reprimanded him, telling him to stop but then I soon realised he gets most of his inspiration in lyric writing when smoking. Now, as I stand a far, yet close distance from him, eyes on the lighting stick in his mouth, a tightening feeling in my stomach calls for a warning signal.

"What did you want to talk about?"

He puffs out the strong aroma, making small 'o' shapes in the air. "I want to get married."

I stare up at him, my eyes analysing his face for a hint of sarcasm, but unlucky for me, Seung Hyun was a hard man to read.

"You're serious?"

His hand falls to his side, smoke still leaving the tip of the stick in the form of a swirled line. "Its been 11 months now, I've made my decision."

I feel a smile start to form across my face but I quickly bite my bottom lip, keeping my grin away from his sight.

"And what if I say no?"

He chokes on the smoke, the cigarette in his mouth almost falling, but he catches it in time. "W-what?" His eyebrows furrow in surprise.

"I'm kidding. But I think I'll take it into consideration. "

His lips form a sexy half-smirk as he removes the cigarette from his mouth and exhales, smoke all over. He taps the cigarette, ashes falling and he takes one more puff before dropping it to the ground and stepping on it with the bottom of his shoe.

"Even if you were serious about that, I'd never let you leave my side." He says in full authority voice. The protective part in him kicks in.

"Then maybe I really should say no, to see how far you'd go for me." I argue wittily. He chuckles, pulling me close and he kisses my temple.

"Mmmm," He meets my eyes with his. "I'll just have to keep going after you then," I look at him unconvincingly and he smiles. "Or maybe I could marry you now."

"Wouldn't everyone else think it's a little too early to get married."

He shrugs. "Mm, who cares what they think, I think the time is perfect." He runs his thumb on my cheek causing me shiver from his touch. "Just think about it. That's all I ask."

"You're that serious about this, huh?"

He smirks again and drops his hand on my cheek. The warmth from his touch lingering on my face. He crosses his arms and looks at me, his smirk turning into a full smile.

"Please."

I smirk and push myself away from him. "Let's go eat breakfast."

×Time Skip×

My chest tightens and my throat is burning. Seung Hyun stands at a close distance, back facing towards me as I leaned on a wall, eyes closed trying to make myself comfortable. He's smoking closer to me this time, and I feel my nerves sending off attack signals. I grope my pants, hoping that I've brought my meds with me but it's not there. Beads of sweat trickle down my forehead and I gasp, the sound escaping my mouth sounding horrible – as if I'm trying to call out to someone but only a hoarse scream goes out. Seung Hyun turns his head to check on me and as soon as he sees my pale face he drops his cigarette and rushes towards up to me. "Fuck. You stood to close, are you okay?" He places his hands on my shoulders, holding me up with his strength. I stay still staring at the pavement until the smoke fades and I'm able to catch up with my breathing. He looks at me with worried eyes, hands shaking me lightly. "You okay?"

I'm still out of breath, unable to answer. He shakes me again. "Did you bring your medication?"

I shake my head, he runs his hand across my back until I'm able to regain color in your face and my heart starts to beat at a normal rate.

"I..." I try to start and he follows my next words. I end up slapping his chest lightly. "...felt like I was about to die."

He inhales deeply and lets out a sigh of relief. "You had me really worried," He breaks out in a smile. He pushes stray strands of hair away from my face and lets his arm dangle on the nape of my neck. "I told you to stay inside, I don't know what I'll do if something bad happens to you like that."

"I had no idea I would freak out like that." I say. It's true though, I've been next to smokers in public places but oddly enough, being around Seung Hyun smoking was too hard to handle. For some reason this was the only time that I've had a panic attack next to him, and something about smoke always set off a trigger. "You'll be the death of me." I say with glaring eyes.

I stare at him, half-serious but he breaks into laughter and winks at you playfully. "Well, they do call me a lady killer so..."

I look at him and sigh heavily before erupting in anger. "Yah, oppa! I was being serious about something!"

He stops chuckling and he pushes a hand on his pocket and the other pulling my body close to him. He does this so coolly that I immediately forget I'm angry.

"I know, I just wanted to brighten the mood. I'm being serious too you know," His warm voice whispers. The sudden change in his voice is evident. There is pain and hoarseness, and you just know he meant every single word that he said,

"I don't know what I'll do if something bad happens to you because of me."

"It's not your fault. Can we just go inside."

He leads us both up the stairs, up to the apartment and inside without a sound. "Yah! You two have been out all day!" Jiyong yells from the couch in front of a lousy TV.

Seung Hyun unravels his arm from my waist and sits next to Jiyong as I

walk into the kitchen to check at some food I've been cooking. The smell of beef swirls out of the pot and bounces off the wall in to every room.

"Dinner's ready." I call to the boys who come out from their dorms and sit down immediately.

I grab the steaming pot from the stove and place it in front of the hungry-looking men. "Yah, go get Seungri!" Seung Hyun orders YoungBae who then glances at Daesung to take over his duties.

They exchange short glances between themselves, awaiting for someone to stand up and wake the angry panda. I growl at them and storm off to his room, "Aish! I'll do it."

I slowly poke my head through the crack of Seungri's door, glancing around his lowly lit room in search for any sign if him. My nose scrunches up as the smell of expensive cologne hits me right in the face, a small sneeze releasing out of me.

I hear a soft groan and the sound of a body being shifted in bed. I poke open the door and slowly step through, tiptoeing along his wooden floor closer to where he was.

He was sprawled out on the bed with his bare chest showing, arms wide apart and his legs wrapped around each other. I chuckle.

I'm considered lucky to see this side of him. But trust me, I'm not. I usually have to pick up his dirty clothes from the floor and organise his messy room because he always tells me that he's too busy, even when he's usually sitting on the couch munching on chocolate chip cookies.

The small rays of light coming from his overturned lamp creeped onto his face, emphasising each and every single feature. His strong jawline, his closed eyes, sharp nose and of course, drooling lips.

"Well, he's not awake.. I might as well," I chuckle to myself evilly and tiptoe over to the side of the bed, where he was laying closest to. "Seungri-ah." I whisper as I slowly mount myself on to his bed, a smirk plastered on my face. Slowly but surely, I lean my face closer to his and bite his earlobe. He instantly smiles and giggles under me. "Who is this?" He asks, his eyes still closed with his head turned away from me.

I let go, staring him right in the face before yelling at the top of my lungs, "WAKE UP, PABO!"

His eyes shoot open, a scream running out from his mouth causing me to jump off of his bed and laughing wildly. "Yah! What the he'll was that for?!" He sits up, rubbing the side of his neck with his hand as he furrows his brows and stares at me, an angry look shooting on my direction.

"Just some pay back. Dinner's ready," I say as half of my body makes it out the door before I stop midway to look at him,"And there's meat."

His lips slightly part and his eyes widen at the keyword "meat."

"Come and eat."

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