Chapter 13

Lizzie's P.O.V.Her stare is so intense that I literally couldn't speak. What the fuck is in that journal that made her decide to bring up Robbie. Don't get me wrong, I knew he would come up eventually but this is not what I imagined it would be.

"Elizabeth" Her voice echoes with desperation and I wanted so bad to just read what's inside of that journal to know why is she acting like this all of the sudden. She winces again this time gripping the side of her head and that made my heart beat fast. Shit! what the fuck is happening?

"Shan, are you okay? Do you need a doctor?" I said with urgency as I held her face in my hands. Her eyes are scrunched tight then suddenly drops her head on my shoulder trying to breath and the contact made my heart race even more. God, I need to do something, but I don't know what. "Shannon please say something."

"I'm fine, just a headache" She whispers relaxing her body against mine. I can feel the heat on my cheeks getting hotter and hotter as my arms slowly made its way around her to balance it out, because if I don't we'll both fall on the carpet. What is she doing to me? This is too much contact for the day and its not doing me any good of not being obvious with my feelings for her.

"I think that's enough for today. " I say and she doesn't responds to this, so I start stroking her back like my hand has a mind of its own, tracing imaginary lines as I do so. My lips curved into a small smile as I realized what I was doing and what might we look like right now, and I can't help to admit that I miss this, so much. I miss her. We stayed like that for a while and for a second I thought she had slept on me but then she suddenly says.

"Did I- Did I ruined your engagement with Robbie?" My heart drops upon hearing that and at the same time it made my hand stop. What is in that journal, something about Robbie for sure. I really want to know what exactly did she read but I don't want to read her journal as well, that's just a very wrong thing to do.

"No, you didn't" I whispered and she pulls back and looks at me. She's too close and it was making me nervous, so close I can already feel her peppermint breath against my chin.

"Please tell me the truth." She whispers as I look into those ocean eyes. She's still here but confuse and scared and I want to reassure that what I said was the truth but when I open my mouth nothing comes out. "I ruined your engagement didn't I?"

"N-No, Shannon what have you read?" Shannon sighs and pulls back completely giving me a chance to just breathe. That was so close Shan, too close. I can hear my heart beating through my ears, that was too intense. She pulls out the notebook from the box again and opened it going through the pages one more time and stop until she finds it and starts to read out loud.

"April 21, 2019" She started and I'm trying to go back to what happened in April 21, 2019. That's too long ago and its really hard to remember.

"I don't know if I should be over the moon because we had some kind of moment last night or should I be worried because I just made everything more complicated than it already is. She's engaged. That is that. We can't be more than just friends and that's how it is." She sighs and looks at me and I was completely stunned of what she said. Last night? April? The premiere, that was in April right? Wait, last night. The night out before she went to Canada. Yes, that's it.

"Here's another, She's amazing and so kind and I can't just not to talk to her but at the same time I know I shouldn't let these feelings grow bigger because I think I might be falling for her even more" She had feelings for me even before that? Well, I didn't know that. She sighs as she closes her journal and puts it back in the box looking so bothered and I just don't know what to say, I didn't expect any of that.

"I had a flashback, back in Scarlett's house." Her brows knit together looking away from me. "There was this article, about Robbie getting arrested after we announced our relationship and I had a flashback and it was in front of a house and there were police. He was mad, I was furious and-fuck!" She held her head again scrunching her eyes. Okay, that is enough. She needs to rest. I rush closer to her and held her face in my hands again.

"That's okay Shan, maybe we should talk about this later okay. You need to rest, come o-"

"Elizabeth please." Right, I forgot how stubborn she can get when she's eager to know about something so I sighed. Her head drops to my shoulders again groaning with the pain and hearing her in pain is like someone squeezing my heart out of my chest and I couldn't take it. I was about to pull away to get her some water just to be pulled back again.

"I'm just going to get you some water. I'll be back in a second."

"You said that last time." If it was in a different situation, I might've slap her in the arm but she's right, I did said that earlier, but I really need more than just a second.

"I'm going to be quick this time. I promise." She pulls back and rests her back on the couch, eyes closed. I got up from the carpet and rush to the kitchen to get her a glass of water, my mind wandering about her right now. God this is getting out of hand. I rush back to her placing the glass of water on the coffee table before returning to my seat awhile ago.

"Here drink this." I take the glass of water and held it up to her mouth allowing to drink the contents of it. After that, I placed the half empty glass back on the coffee table and looked at her. She sighs and half opens her eyes looking at me obviously waiting for me to answer still.

"Alright, I didn't know you had feelings for me then okay, and what you just said clearly is a shock to me too. But still, no. You're not the reason I called off the engagement." She lets out a sigh of relief like she wasn't expecting that at all. She really thinks she was the reason but then I realized back then, that night. Maybe I felt a connection but shrugged it off completely. I don't know, I'm not so sure at the moment. Suddenly, she shoots up from her position sitting up so fast she winces again.

"Can you fucking stay still, what are you doing?" She doesn't say anything and I've had enough of this so I stood up and help her to get up.

"Come on, get up. You need to lay down here on the couch." She slowly gets up holding on to me for support. I then turn around and fix the couch pillows to the edge of it so she can lay her head down quite nicely.

"Now, lay your head down." I say looking up to her. She looks at the couch then turns back to me again then looking quite confused.

"Where are you going to sit?" She asks

"Here"I say pointing on the single couch beside the long couch before looking back at her. Her brows furrowed as she closes her eyes again. Is that really painful.

"I won't be able to see you, we're not done talking."Oh God, here we go again.

"Shan, can we take a break. Your in pain already, we can deal with this later. But for now can you just take a rest?" I sighed but she just looks at me intensely not putting her guard down.

"Well, why don't I just go home then." She says and I groan in frustration. She wants to talk about this then we'll talk about this. I sat myself down on the couch and placed a couch pillow on my lap, not so sure of what I'm doing right now, but I'm really really annoyed at her for being a hard headed ass at the moment.

"Here, now lay down." I demand and she immediately lies down on the couch her head on my lap. Okay, now what did I just get myself into.

"That's better" She smiles. "Now I can rest and I can see you while we talk at the same time."

"Well you're just as stubborn as you were two years ago." I rolled my eyes at her and she chuckles like she agrees to what I just said. Well its true, she's patient and all but she can be a pain in the ass sometimes especially when it comes to taking her medications. That would get me hours of convincing her to just take them.

"So, why did you called off the engagement?" She whispers, I sigh before looking down to her. She's really not going to let this go. The reason why I hate talking about this is because it reminds me of what I did to her. Robbie cheated by kissing a girl in a club, I cheated by kissing Robbie at a party. Oh and not to mention she was fucking there. But she can't remember that. No one knows about that except my family and Scarlett. Shit! Did Scarlett told her?

"Elizabeth"

"What?" She quirked an eyebrow looking soconfused. I got into my own world there didn't I?

"The engagement?"

"Right. He cheated on me." I say in the simplest but self explanatory way to avoid any discussion on this. Well, what could possible be a follow up question to that.

"What the fuck! with who?" Oh right, that one.

"A girl in a club" I shrugged and she shudders, her brows knit together and her lips pursed angrily and I can't help but to smile. She's too cute.

"A girl in a club? Well, that's a total downgrade. I mean, I really don't understand who would cheat on you?" She looks up to me. Our eyes connect, and I find myself getting pulled in deeper by those ocean eyes and I can't seem to look away. The intensity of her stare is making my heart beat out of my chest and for some reason neither one of us is trying to break this.

"Okay!" I jolt up to the sound of my brother's voice cursing under my breath.

"Ahh" I turn to my side and saw Shannon sat up with her head in her hands. Fuck, she sat up way too fast.

"Shannon, what's happening? Are you alright?" I look towards Trent and notice my whole fucking family is here including my sisters. What the fuck? I thought they were just going to the shops, they never mentioned a family gathering happening in my fucking apartment tonight, and looks like they're going to spend the night. I think I know where this is going.

"Just a headache I'm fine. Oh hi!" Shannon says before standing up but stopped so I immediately stood beside her grabbing her arm for support so she wouldn't fall in front of them. The sudden contact made her look at me and smiled. I smiled back before she walks towards my family giving them a hug and a kiss. After that Trent and mom went to the kitchen to fix the groceries they brought.

The twins have been giving me teasing looks since they arrived and I know I'm going to have more of that later on. Well, that's just embarrassing walking in to that, I didn't even heard the door earlier.

"So how's the staring contest? Quite a while eh." Mary Kate says waggling her brows at me while Ashley kept giggling beside her. I gave them a look telling them to shut up which made it even worse. Shannon chuckles touching the hairs on the back of her neck a little embarrassed.

"No, we were just talking." She says but the twins roll their eyes clearly not believing a single word she just said.

"Anyway, we're spending the night and we brought some drinks for later. Lizzie" They nod before going to their rooms leaving the two of us alone.

"Uh what is happening? Are you having a family dinner or something." She whispers as we sat down on the couch. Well, what will I say to her, I'm as confused as her right now.

"I guess so? I really don't know why my sisters are here too. I'm as surprised as you are." She sighs and softly chuckles and I think she is slowly figuring out what is going to happen tonight.

"How's your head?" I say. I'm still worried about her headache, last time this happened she got sick the following day and I really don't want that to happen right now.

"It still hurts but I'm good. Maybe its just a migraine."

"Maybe you should take some rest. The room across mine is empty, you can sleep there if you want." I whispered and she just smiles rubbing her palms together and I'm not quite sure what's on her mind.

"I'm good and besides I don't want to be rude, your whole family is here. I can still manage." Her hand falls on my knee as she say this and the sudden contact from her warm hand made me looked at it. "Don't worry too much okay, come on let's help out in the kitchen."

"Wait, are you sure?"

"Yea, and besides I have a strong feeling that your sisters will not let me go home tonight. So might as well make myself useful." She chuckles and slowly stood up releasing a deep breath in the process and I smiled just watching her as she straightens her pullover before holding out a hand to me. I looked at it still not believing that she's okay at the same time quite amused by how she manifested the actions of the my sisters.

"Come on." She smiles encouragingly still holding her hand out to me. So I took it as she helps me stand up to my feet before stepping aside and letting me lead the way. I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing and not stressful day because this is just a stay in. But this is not what I have in mind. ——————————"Alright what are we having?" Trent says resting her chin on the palm of his hand. We are currently sat around the kitchen island and we're about to start the drinking session. Mom called in an early night because she was tired from going to the shops and cooking all the meals we ate earlier which were so delicious. So Shannon figured it out right because the twins just asked her to stay for the night after dinner and she didn't get away with my brother insisting she should stay and so she did. Good thing she still have a few clothes left in my closet and that's what she's wearing right now.

"Shannon's making us martinis" Ashley says along with a series of cheers from MK and Trent. God this is so embarrassing. Shannon suddenly turns to me and raised her brows and a shrug is all I can give her and an apologetic smile.

"Alright then" She chuckles softly as Ashley brings out the frozen gin and the martini glasses from the freezer while MK brings out the vermouth from the bar and a lemon from the fridge.

"Have she done this before?" Trent asks quite amazed that my sisters brought in all of what Shannon needed. Shannon is quite surprised as well waiting for an answer from the twins.

"Yup, and we really miss watching her do it so no pressure Shan we love you no matter what." But hearing this makes her more nervous just by the look she gave me after hearing that so I gave her a thumbs up to reassure her and somehow I think it worked.

"Alright then." She looks at the things in front of her and starts. Her voice muted in my ears as she suddenly works in slow motion right in front of my eyes. She still looks so hot while she works with a serious face. How she is so precise and careful with every move she makes, its like watching a film montage in a commercial or something.

"A nice little mist and there you go a perfect martini." She smiles earning an applause from us. She then hands each one us a glass and taking for her own as well before moving her stool a bit closer to me. I took a sip of mine and oh that is refreshing.

"Oh shit, this is really good." Trent says making me giggle looking at Shannon who has a full smile on her face.

"See, I told you. Oh I missed this. We missed you Shan." My lips curve into a smile upon hearing that. Well its true, we miss her especially me. I miss her so much and she doesn't even know that.

"Well, I'm here now. I won't be going anywhere and I will definitely remember all of you this time." She jokes trying to lighten up the mood.

"Okay, Beveridge lets have a recap." Trent says taking another chug of his drink before turning to us. "What have you got today?"

"Hmm, Ashley said smile before taking a picture of me and Elizabeth at the CFDAs" I smile widely looking like a proud mama as I watched the twins' jaw drop before they looked at me on disbelief. Yup, that's what I thought.

"Yea, I did say smile. Oh my God, you remembered? that's so amazing." Ashley exclaims making me chuckle. Shannon looks over to me and scrunches her nose smiling at me and that did something to my heart. That deserves a fucking drink.

"What else?" Mary Kate says quite amazed on what is currently happening right now.

"Oh New York Pride and the clip of Elizabeth and I kissing on screen." Oh God, Shannon really. A series of howls surrounded the kitchen as she said this and I felt my face heat up in embarrassment.

"Do you really have to say that Shan?" I whispered yelled at her but she herself is having fun teasing me, and if I could, I would've thwack her forehead right at this moment.

"Alright, gosh I really love that clip. Right Lizzie?" MK waggles her brows again and I'm really getting sick of it so I gave her a 'shut up' look which just made her laugh even more.

"Anything else?" There's only one left and I held my breath waiting for her to just say it. But then she looks at me. A look that I haven't seen before and released a smile that didn't quite reached her eyes.

"No, that was it. I got a headache after that so we needed to stop." I released the breath that I was holding in confused on why didn't she just say it. Clearly, she knows that my family might probably know that already but still she hasn't said it. She looks at me again and mouthed the words 'you okay?'

I slowly nod my head still confused on what just happened, I was expecting her to tell me why even just whisper it to me but nothing, she just gave me another smile and drank the whole contents of her glass. But then even though that caught me by surprise? I still have to thank her for it because I wouldn't have to deal with some looks thrown at me. She just saved me from that and she doesn't even know it.