7. The war is finally over

CARA

So Kendall was gonna sleep over at my place tonight. I was really nervous, and when we sat down and ate something before we went to bed, I almost got a panic attack.

Seriously, I almost got a panic attack. I thought of how she was gonna sleep at my place. Of course I would sleep on the couch and she could sleep in my bed, but still, she was gonna sleep in my apartment! Jut the thought of it made me really really nervous. My heartbeat raced and I felt a little sick. Can I act normal around her? Oh please Cara, don't do anything weird.

Okay Cara. Rule number one: Don't go out and smoke. Rule number two: Try to act normal. Rule number three: Don't hurt her. Rule number four: Try to be nice to her. Rule number five: Forget about proving her wrong.

We went to my bedroom, and I made the bed ready for her. I grabbed a pillow and blanket and started to walk to the living room, until Kendall asked:

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just gonna move these things to the couch." I explained.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I thought that I could sleep there?" I said a bit confused. What's her point?

"Why would you sleep there when you have such a big bed? We both can sleep in it you know." She stated.

Of course we can, but dear Kendall, I don't know if I can behave if we would do that.

"Um... No really, I can sleep on the couch. We don't want your boyfriend to start wondering why you smell like another girl..." I mumbled the last part.

"First of all, I don't want to sleep in a big bed like this all alone. Second of all, my boyfriend doesn't care that much." she also mumbled the last part.

I looked at her with a shocked expression.

"Your boyfriend doesn't care that much? If I was your boyfriend, I would care so much that you would probably break up with me." I said and looked like I couldn't believe her.

"Well it's good to know that there still is some people that cares. I find it very rare these days that someone actually cares."

"Well, I care."

She looked at me like she was about to die of laughter. And that was when I realized what she had done.

"I'm just kidding Kendall! I DON'T care at all! I don't care about anything, and no one cares! True freaking caring is bullshit!" I said while I laughed.

"I got you sooo good!" she said while she was practically on the floor laughing really hard.

"You care, you care, you care, you care!" she kept saying.

"Oh shut up Kendall, we all know that I was CLEARLY lying!" I defended myself.

"Come here." Kendall said and stood up. "Gimmie a hug."

I chuckled and went straight into her arms.

"I don't care." I whispered.

"If you say so..." she whispered back and chuckled.

"You're so sweet Cara." she said and let go of me.

"What" I asked confused. Where did that come from?

"You said that if you were my boyfriend, you would care so much that I would probably break up with you." she smiled.

"Oh. That." I said embarrassed.

"And please Cara, sleep in the bed with me." she said and pouted her lips.

"Fine." I said and chuckled.

After some minutes of laughing by the thought of me saying that I cared, I went to the bathroom. I did all that stuff you do before you go to bed. Then Kendall went to the bathroom while I waited in my bed.

I am finally gonna share bed with Kendall...

I thought and smiled.

Kendall came back from the bathroom and crawled up in the bed next to me. She was on the left side of me. I kept looking forward, avoiding her gaze that was on me now.

"Cara." she said.

I turned my body to her so I could see her. Her body was already faced against me.

"Thank you for today." she whispered and smiled a wide smile.

"You're welcome."

She chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"I like how you answered."

"How did I answer?"

"You just said 'you're welcome', not something like: Thank you too." she stated.

"I can't help it, but trust me, thank you for today." I whispered and started to stare at her lips.

'Goodnight' she mouthed to me, and of course I answered out loud:

"Goodnight."

"Hah! I was right! You actually were looking at my lips."

Shooooooot meeeeeee.

"Um....." I said awkwardly, looking into her eyes now.

"Goodnight Cara." she said and kissed my cheek and turned away from me.

"Goodnight." I whispered, and I almost couldn't hear myself.

I woke up in the middle of the night by a buzzing phone. I quickly grabbed my phone, not wanting to wake up Kendall. But it wasn't my phone.

I saw how Kendall's hand searched her phone, and when she found it, she answered.

"Hey baby. Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sleeping over at a friend's place." Kendall said tired.

"I can't come home now. I can't, okay? Listen to me, I. Can't. It's in the middle of the night for God's sake! I'll come home tomorrow. Please Harry." she was begging now. "No I'm not cheating! I'm at a FRIENDS place!"

I looked at her, a bit uncomfortable that I had to witness this.

"Thank you." she said sarcastic. "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, bye."

She sighed and looked at me.

"I'm sorry Car-"

"Please don't go," I quickly cut her off.

She fake smiled.

"I won't go." she said and rubbed my arm. "I'm just sorry that you had to wake up in the middle of the night because of me."

"No," I said. "It's nothing to apologize for." I assured her.

"My boyfriend, Harry, was wondering where I was and accused me for cheating and he wanted me to come home." she explained.

"I can't believe you said that you loved him." That was the only thing I could think about. He was giving her shit, and she still said that she loved him?

"But I do?" 

"How can you love someone that doesn't trust you?" I asked.

"I just can't take anymore questions Cara. Can we just sleep?" she said innocent.

I felt bad for her. I shouldn't have asked.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

We laid down in the bed again, but I didn't close my eyes. My thought were on Kendall. I felt so bad for her. She doesn't deserve Harry. She deserves someone who actually loves her, who trusts her with their life. And I do. I already trust her with my own life.

After some minutes, I still hadn't closed my eyes. I wasn't tired anymore. 

Suddenly Kendall spoke up.

"Cara?" she whispered.

"Yes?" I whispered back, worried.

"Can I hug you?"

I waited some seconds before I answered.

"Sure."

Her body was leaning on mine, and I loved it. Her arms was around my waist, and my arms were wrapped around her. I heard how she almost started to cry. Probably thanks to Harry, that bastard.

I stroke her hair and awkwardly kissed her forehead.

"It's okay..." I whispered.

I'm actually impressed by myself. I had never in my whole lifetime comforted anyone except myself. And of course I made everything with big insecurity. This didn't feel like me. But I had to do this for Kendall. I didn't want her to be sad.

She then slowly started to cry. Not like this shout-cry, more like a sob.

"Shh, it's okay." I comforted her with more confidence now when I knew that I actually could do it pretty good.

"Sorry, I just-"

"Don't be sorry. You have all the right to do this." I cut her off.

"You're so sweet, you know that?" she whispered.

"I actually don't" I chuckled softly.

As much I wanted to say 'I love you' to her, I couldn't. She had a boyfriend, and he was accusing her for cheating. And I don't want to give her more trouble than she already has.

"Okay then. Cara, you should know that you are one of the sweetest person I've ever met. I know it's deep down, but I am so honored to have gotten the chance to see your sweet side."

Now it was my time to almost start to cry. But I wouldn't let myself cry. Nope. I just bit my lip and closed my eyes hard. But of course, one tear escaped.

"I don't deserve that Kendall." I said with a broken whisper.

"No you're right, you deserve much more."

"Kendall stop, for real, I don't deserve that. I deserve a punch in the face honestly. But you, you deserve so much more than you have."

She didn't say anything more, but I could feel against my throat that she smiled.

"You should sleep now" I whispered, and she closed her eyes. 

I closed my eyes too, and soon, I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up, I saw Kendall still in my arms. I smiled. I can't believe how her boyfriend is so mean to her! She is the most innocent girl on the planet. She's the sweetest too. And the hottest.

Is the war finally over? It almost seems like it. I guess we have a winner. Now I know what I'm doing. I won't keep myself away from her. I'll be with her as much as I can, because we finally have a winner. I don't need to feel the war inside of me anymore. 

I'm free.

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