1. I don't care

CARA

Snow.

Smoke when I'm breathing.

I love it.

I never understood the point in hating the cold nor the snow. And I don't think anyone gets the point in hating. Hating is a stronger word for disliking something or someone. And who cares if you hate something or not? I don't. And no one should. Nothing really matters, right? Because who really cares if you like snow or not? They maybe pretend to care, but they will probably not even use the information for anything. You maybe tell your friend that you don't like chocolate. Okay, then your friend won't give you chocolate. But if you tell your friend that you hate snow, they can't do anything about it. The snow will come anyway. So stop wasting your time complaining on stuff that you can't change, and just accept things sometimes just as they are. That's what I think. But who cares about what I think?

I don't even care about what I think. I don't care that I'm cold as hell out here. I don't care that smoking can kill me, I'm not dead anyway. And yet I stand here, smoking, in the middle of a street in New York. And look at me, I'm not dead yet. But some strangers that comes up to me doesn't care that I'm still alive, and smoking. I don't like them. They should care about their selves.

But whatever, because now a girl is coming up to me. It seems like she wants to say something. I'm not gonna listen to her, even if she tells me to stop smoking or have the famous speech: "Don't smoke, it's bad for you and your environment." As much as I want to say that it's bullshit, I can't because it isn't. It's 100% true.

Anyway, the girl was right in front of me when she opened her mouth.

"Cold, isn't it?" she said and smiled to me.

I shrugged.

"I like it." I just said and kept on smoking.

"You're not cold?" she asked.

"Of course I am. I'm standing in a T shirt and shorts outside smoking. Do you think I am sweating?" I said sarcastic.

"Why do you smoke if you'll just get cold? And you'll get a cold by the way." she informed me.

"Because I want to."

Ugh.

Just let me smoke alone.

"And why do you want to?" she kept on asking me.

"Because I hate it." I said ironic and rolled my eyes.

She smiled to me and walked closer. She suddenly took off her jacket. I thought to myself that she was being stupid, but then she put the jacket on me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because I don't want you to get a cold." she said. And now it was her time to roll her eyes.

"Why would you care if I got a cold or not? I will probably never see you again." Why am I still talking to this girl? She should be pissed at me for being so rude by now. But for some reason, it looks like she is... liking it? She was at least smiling like a fool.

"Yeah, that's true. So let's not make this a waste of time then. Can I get your number?" She suddenly asked.

I looked at her confused. What is she trying to do? If she's a loner and her parents told her to get some friends and she took the best first she could find, I was not gonna be her friend. I was not gonna be her friend anyway. First of all, I don't like people except my friends that has been my friends my whole life. Second of all, I don't think I'm a very good friend. Third of all, our friendship would probably end tomorrow.

"Why would you want my number?"

"Because you just said that it's not worth to care about someone you'll never meet. So let's not make this one of those times. If I care about you, and get to see you sometime again, this is worth it. This is not waste of time." she explained like it was obvious. "So I need your number, please."

I sighed.

"You can't become friends with someone you just met." I was being stubborn. I don't want to become her friend!

"That's why I'm asking for your number! We can become friends after the second time we've been hanging out!" she was also being stubborn.

"So you mean this is the first time we are hanging out?" I asked.

"Yes."

"If this is how you hang out with your friends, I am feeling bad for you friends." I said and started to walk away.

I kept on walking until I knew that if I looked back, I wouldn't see her. So I turned around and saw no one. I sighed of low joy. This was the happiest things that ever had happened today. I don't mean that she talked to me, I mean that I could walk away. That was the happiest moment today. Not that my happiest moment today really matters.

When I arrived to my apartment, I entered the building and ran upstairs where my apartment is. I walked inside and threw off my shoes in the hall. When I took off my jacket, I realized that it wasn't my jacket.

Shit.

I still have that girls jacket. Now I have to go back and give it to her. I just can't talk to her again. I just can't. I don't want to either, and that's why I can't. But I have to. And it kills me.

So I put on my shoes again and took my own jacket this time, while I had her jacket in my hand. I walked to the place where I was smoking. But when I arrived, no one was there.

"Did she go home or something? Didn't she notice that I still had her jacket?" I mumbled to myself.

I turned around and looked everywhere. She wasn't anywhere nearby, that thing was for sure.

I sighed heavily when I walked home again. This means that I have to look for this girl so I can give her jacket back. I don't like looking after people who I don't care about. But if I don't look for her, she will probably look for me. And I think I rather go to her, than being surprised by her. I really didn't want to do this, but I have to give her jacket back, because I guess I care. Not that much though, I just don't want to drag around with some strangers jacket. It makes me uncomfortable.

Aaghh! I don't want to waste my time on this! I have better things to do! Like smoking.

And thinking about what matters and not.

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