but my mind kept wandering back to you

I walked home, drowning in my own tears. I probably woke up the whole neighborhood before I got home. I opened the door and went into my room. I put my coat away and kicked off my boots. I reached for my drawer when something caught my eye. My bracelet. I stared at it as more tears came down. I slowly took it off and placed it in my drawer, under my wallet. I slammed myself on my bed.

"How could I be so naive?" I asked quietly. I snuggled in my pillow and let the soaking tears absorb in my pillowcase.

"How could I be so dumb. . ." I said before slumber took me under.

It was the middle of the year, and I was in eighth grade. I was doing my homework, and was almost done. I held the highlighter in my teeth as I scribbled a few words on the text.

It was all very clear, as if it happened yesterday.

"So-Young! Dinner's ready!"  My mother yelled from the kitchen. I muttered a coming and ran outside my room, then casually walking toward the table. I greeted my siblings and began eating quickly. My brother held my chopsticks and let go.

"Slow down. There's no rush." He said as he continued filling his plate. I steadied my utensil and ate slowly.

"So how was everyone's day?" My mother asked. I thought and put my finger up.

"I aced all my tests from last Friday." I peeped.

"I also did." Sa-Do said.

"I went on another date with Solbi. It didn't go so well though," My eldest brother spoke. My little brother, Seo-Hyeok raised his hand.

"My day was good! I got a one-hundred on my homework!" He chirped. My mother smiled happily, and reached in her purse which was a few inches away. She pulled out two letters and handed it to me and Sa-Do.

"These came in the mail today." I looked toward my brother as he studied it. I carefully opened it and read it. I stood up and dropped it.

"Shinhwa," My brother started.

"High-School?" I muttered. I sat back down and looked at my bowl of rice.

My mother smiled brightly.

"So, will you accept it?" I held the letter in my hand as it shook violently. Sa-Do grabbed my shoulder and shook it gently.

"Will you accept it?" He asked again. I looked at him then back at my paper.

I nodded.

Everyone cheered and congratulated me. I was even smiling.

But soon I would learn that not only would my life turn upside down, but also my heart as well.

I woke up with a start. I rubbed my eyes and groaned. Feels like I just woke up from a night of drinking. I got up and dressed in normal attire. It was the weekend and I planned on just got by to work and walk. I may be heartbroken but I'm not going to let him ruin my life like that. I promised to myself I wouldn't ever.

I arrived in a red sweater with a collar shirt under it, and a pair of dark blue jeans. I put in a pair of black flats and fixed my hair. I pulled it behind my ears and sighed. I greeted my friends and put on my apron. I stayed quiet.

My friends muttered behind me and came beside my arms.

"So-Young," Jan-di started. I continued looking at the table as I stopped wiping it down.

"What's wrong?" Ga Eul asked. I covered my mouth quickly and sobbed loudly. My face became red and puffy again and I slammed myself down at the booth chair. My friends helped me and hugged me.

"So-Young!" Jan-di said urgently. I continued crying like a little kid. I stumbled toward the door and waved them off, meaning I wanted fresh air. I sat outside and wiped my tears away.

"I loved him so much that I'm crying over him," I whispered. I hiccuped and ran my hands through my wavy hair.

"How could someone do so much to my heart. . ." I said.

"So-Young?" I stopped crying and looked up.

"Ji-Hoo." I mumbled. I put my head in my hands as he came and hugged me. He sat beside me and rubbed my shoulders.

"Who did this to you," He asked. I rested my head on his shoulder and sobbed.

"Yi-Jeong." I replied.

"Bastard," He muttered maliciously.

"Don't fight him. Please." I wished. He picked me up and hugged me as I soaked his shirt.

"Don't talk. Just let it out." I grabbed a fistful of his shirt and struggled to stop my tears.

"Ji-Hoo."

"Shh. . ." His word reminded of the first time I cried into Yi-Jeog about Ji-Hoo. And after a few weeks I was back at the one who I thought really broke my heart.

I sighed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered under my muffled cries.

"I'm sorry."

When I was walking down the city I kept in mind what I was going to buy. But my mind kept wondering back to Yi-Jeong. And somehow, I still had faith in him. He left a scar that will probably never go away.

I slowly made my way into a boutique, knowing that I needed some more pairs of tights. I looked at the array of colors and types. I thanked the cashier and walked out with a few packs in my bag. I walked slowly along the pathway as I snuggled my hands in my coat pockets. They were so cold. . .

I was about to turn the corner home when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I curiously turned around and was genuinely surprised.

"Sunbae!" I said. He smiled and sighed.

"What are the chances we meet here?" I said with a laugh. My smile dropped quickly and I looked down.

"Have you been," I paused. "Watching me?"I asked. Knowing him I probably already knew the answer.

"I couldn't let a depressed girl roam the city streets alone. That's dangerous." I chuckled dryly at his effort.

"Thanks, Ji-Hoo." He smiled and offered a hand. I took it and he interlocked his fingers with mine. My hand felt warm again, but still didn't feel the same. I smiled and instead grasped his arm tightly.

"Let's go eat." He said. I nodded tiredly and followed him as he lead the way. We stopped at a food stall.

We stopped abruptly and I looked at it. Fish cakes! Ji-Hoo held a two up with his fingers and the vendor gave him them. He handed one to me and ate it. I took a small bite and wiped my mouth.

"Good?" He asked. I smiled and giggled, my mouth still closed. I put a thumbs up and ate the rest of it. The person behind the counter smiled. She handed another one to Ji-Hoo for free.

"Have a nice date!" She cheered as she went back to work. I looked at him then back at the fish cake. He offered the first one to me and I took a bite. He ate the second one.

I smiled.

We went on and did have a really fun time. We went into a music store and he played a lot of instruments. We also went into a toy store, looking at all the odd play kits and trinkets by the cash register.

He brought me home too. We got off his motorcycle and I handed back his helmet. I thanked him and smiled. I was about to turn into the door when I heard my name called out.

"So-Young," I looked back and waited for his reply.

He waved with one hand in his pocket. A strong pain of nostalgia hit me, but I managed a genuine smile.

"Bye-bye." I said. I closed the door behind me and slid down. I sighed and looked out the window in the wall, reflecting back the bright moon and shimmering stars.

"Goodbye."