what am i to you, yi-jeong?

The next morning we were off and back on the plane. I remembered to gather all my things and decided to sleep the whole way back. When I woke up we were back in Korea, and it was now time for us to separate. I waved to all my friends, saying I'll see them soon again as Yi-Jeong offered to give me a ride, me accepting. When we got in the car he started up conversation.

"Did you like having the luxury experience?" I looked out the window then at him.

"Yeah, it was nice."

Silence.

After a while I spoke, seriously.

"What am I to you?"

"What?"

"What am I to you?" I repeated. He kept his eyes on the road but it was clear he was thinking hard.

"Is it that difficult of a question?"

"What's wrong with you and the serious question? It's unlike you."

"I just want to know, so I won't regret my decision."

"Decision?" He paused and thought again. "Um, well, you mean a lot to me for sure,"

"And you're beautiful, and smart, and caring,"

"But what about me? As a whole person, what can you compare me to?" I rephrased the question. He didn't talk for a while. It was silent once again.

"To me, you are my pottery wheel." I switched my eyes to him, staring at the side of his face as he continued on.

"Without you, I wouldn't be able to mold evenly, and make something ugly into something beautiful and unique. Without a pottery wheel, it wouldn't be the same doing what I do nowadays." I stayed quiet.

"I think I love you, Yi-Jeong." I whispered, barely audible.

"Did you say something So-Young?" I snapped my head to him and shook it sideways.

"Nothing important." I pointed to a small apartment near the school.

"There's my house," I gathered my bag and went to the trunk, in which Yi-Jeong helped with my luggage. I thanked him and continued up to my home. I was about to reach my door when my name was called out. I turned around and met his warm brown eyes again. He waved happily and I waved back, though with more sorrow and falseness. I went into my home and threw my bags into my room.

"What's wrong? That expression doesn't suit you." I looked to my brother and spoke quietly.

"Sa-Do?"

"So-Young," He sat on my bed and patted the spot next to him.

"How was it?" I tried to smile, but only tears would come out. He hugged me tightly and I cried into his chest.

"I didn't know love was so complicated. Sometimes it gets me so stressed that I don't even want to leave home."

"It's okay. . ."

"I don't think it is." I said between muffled sobs.

"Just stay home for the rest of the day, I'm sure you'll feel better."

"Okay." I said quietly. He rubbed my back and I grabbed his white t-shirt.

"Thank you, Sa-Do." He smiled and hugged me back.

"Nowadays, I feel like it would be wrong not to be the one by your side. It's become more of a job don't you think?"

I chuckled lightly.

"Yeah. It sure does."

When I went to school next day, I decided to bring Yi-Jeong's glove with me. I slid it in my blazer and walked in the cold air. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around.

"Yes?" I asked, turning around to meet a pair of familiar eyes.

"Yi-Jeong," I whispered under my breath. He smiled and offered a hand to hold.

"Mind if we walk together?" I smiled and took his hand gently.

I was walking beside him, both hands in my pocket.

"I been meaning to ask you. . ." I glanced at him then back at the ground.

"What is it?"

"Do you maybe want to go on another," He paused and played with his hands. I stopped and stared as he continued fumbling with his fingers.

"Date?" I finished. He looked up and scratched his neck. I laughed and pulled the glove out of my pocket. He reached for it and grasped it.

"I never thought I'd get to see the day where the great Yi-Jeong is flustered." I said. he smiled and looked at me.

"So?" I thought for a bit then nodded.

"Okay?" He smiled and grabbed my hand. "Tomorrow. I'll bring you out to dinner." I took my hand away and shook my head.

"I will only go if we can go ice skating." I said simply. I began walking away as Yi-Jeong stood there, unable to think straight.

"Ice skating?" He mumbled.

The next day I put warm attire on with my boots and hat. I staggered out to the skating rink near the city and waited for Yi-Jeong to come by. I waited an awfully long time though, and he never even showed up. I grunted and looked at my watch. I came on time, but it's already been an hour since we planned. I sat on the bench, cold as an iceberg. I warmed my hands with my breath and watched as fog raced after my heavy sighing.

Two hours.

Three even.

I had enough.

I stood up and marched toward his house. If he overslept, or even cancelled without telling me, he'd better protect his pretty little face. I barged in and shouted.

"Who do you think you are just ditching a girl like that? And in the cold? I waited and,  you never even dared to show up. You~!" I opened my eyes and saw no one was around. It was completely dark. I stomped my foot and went outside, deciding to yell at him tomorrow. Maybe F4 needed him or something? Or maybe something else.

I was so focused on thinking of other possibilities, and accidentally ran into someone.

"Sorry," I muttered, snapping out of my trance. I looked up, almost choking at the face I was looking at.

Yi-Jeong, with two girls at his side.

"Yi-Jeong?" I whispered, tears pricking my eyes. He gaped his mouth open and ripped his arms off of the other girls. I stayed quiet as he grabbed the sides of my face.

"It's not what it looks like!" He said loudly, like yelling it would make it seem all alright. I stayed still as he mumbled on.

"Is this what you've been doing all along?" I said quietly. He stopped talking and fixed my hair.

"What?"

"Were all those words you said lies?" I whispered, tears running down my face. He  forced me to face him as my words broke every part of him. I slowly shifted my gaze to his face and caressed his face gently.

"Was I really just a distraction?" I dropped my hand and barged past him and the girls. He grabbed my wrist and I snapped my head sideways, trying to hold back my waterfall of tears.

"So-Young." I ripped my hand from his grip and turned around.

"I thought I loved you. I did," I scoffed and let my tears fall. "And to know it was just a game all along; I don't know who to trust anymore." I turned back around and walked slowly. I grasped my now cold body and shivered, knowing there will be no-one to put their coat around me anymore.

"Goodbye," I choked out behind my tears and hiccups.

"Yi-Jeong."