Chapter 74- Small Steps

Chapter 74-Small Steps

Cammie pov

I walked away from Zach. While it pained my physically and emotionally, I knew it was necessary. I walked back home and sat around on my bed for hours just thinking about the future. He didn't push me away towards the end, let me kiss his cheek and he smiled at me. That has to count for something!

Yet he tried to leave as soon as he saw me and let me walk away myself towards the end. I'm thinking too much about this, but I can't shut my brain off. I've tried everything to distract myself, and somehow my mind always wanders back to Zach.

I called Macey, Bex and Liz when I got home to tell them what happened. They think he would come around soon. The uncertainty is making me anxious. He didn't say that he still loves me, but doesn't the fact that he let me finish show that he still cares?

When we went to school a few days later, he didn't approach me in the halls. I didn't expect him to, it was probably too soon for that to happen. Instead, he smiled at me from across the hall. He was beginning to open himself up again, one step at a time.

I had to remind myself frequently that he needs time and space for himself. I wanted to text him everyday to let him know I'm here for him. I feel as if he forgets that he's not alone recently.

I have to be patient. It's a lot harder than it sounds.

"Are you ok Cammie?" My mother asked me one day after school. She came home and found me laying on the couch doing nothing and bored out of my mind. Without Zach, things were boring. Once I finished my homework, there was not many things for me to do. All of my friends were busy with their own boyfriends, and the last thing I wanted to do was get in the middle of that

.

Bex was busy with her new boyfriend Grant who was also Zach's friend. Bex let me know that he was one of the few Zach talked too. Grant didn't reveal much, but he says he's hurting on the inside. If it hurts both of us to be apart, why is he making it so hard to be together? It doesn't make any sense.

Nothing seems to make much sense lately.

"I'm ok Mom." I tell her sitting up. I haven't told her or Joe about my "breakup" with Zach. First off, it would be awkward and Joe would threaten to rip his head off again. Secondly, if they haven't noticed now, I fear they never would. They must have put the pieces together already. I've been moping around for a while now, and at school won't they have noticed Zach's absence in my life?

"It's ok to admit that you aren't fine Cammie." She said sitting on the edge of the couch with worry evident in her eyes.

"It's nothing." I lie.

"It has to be something in order for you to act like this. You've been so depressed and unlike yourself for a while. Joe and I noticed for a while. We thought that you would trust us enough to confide your problems with us. Now it seems I can't wait for you to tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help you." She's playing the guilt card. Although she's not far off. I could have told my parents about everything from the beginning. It's not that I don't trust them, I just feel that I can handle this on my own.

"Zach broke up with me a few weeks ago." There I said it, nothing changed. In fact this made it seem more real. I took a deep breath before continuing. "He thinks that he is holding me back because he knows that I want to stay in-state with him for college. He didn't get into any of the schools in New York and thinks those are my best chances. Zach made it clear that he did not want to do it, but he had no other choice." My mom nodded along listening carefully to what I said.

"Did you stop to think about what he may feel like right now?" I nodded my head, every single moment I'm awake.

"I understand that he is feeling vulnerable, worried and scared. It's the fear in his mind that is making him act irrationally. He always used to reassure me that whatever happens we would be ok. Now he is completely giving up, and I'm the one telling him the same thing he doesn't believe me. He thinks so lowly of himself that he will ruin my future, he doesn't see that I don't have a future without him."

"How are you so sure that he isn't wrong?" I looked up at my mother incredulously. She's taking his side? "Don't look at me like that Cammie. What I'm trying to say is that you are young, you may think you love Zach now, but who knows what will happen in a few years. Staying with him shouldn't be your main deciding factor."

"I'm following my heart and choosing to do what's right like you always taught me to. I love Zach, and this isn't some type of puppy love or a high school fling. What we have is different, we have shown that we care about each other tremendously. We love each other and this isn't me being an overdramatic teen claiming she is in love. What Zach and I have is real, why can't you see that?" I asked her angrily towards the end.

It seems that recently everyone is trying to tell me that it would be better off if I don't stay with Zach. I know my mom and my friends want to look out for me but they can't decide everything in my life for me. The same goes for Zach.

I am an adult, therefore I can make my own decisions. And my choice is to stay here with Zach, whether he likes it or not. He's stuck with me.

"How do you know what love really is Cammie, you still so young. I know you care a lot for Zach, and he cares for you, but how are you so sure it is love? You and him make an adorable couple, and I'm not against you when I'm saying this, but how do you know you want to spend the rest of your life with him when you have yet to live most of your life?"

"You and dad met when you were the same age, and got married your third year in college. Zach is the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person when I go to sleep. Thinking of him now hurts because I can only imagine the pain he is going through. Being with him when he's happy is enough to make me feel the same."

My mother laid her hand on my shoulder. "I may not agree with it Cammie, but you are old enough to choose these things on your own. As long as you feel that you made the right decision, I will stand by you and I'm sure Joe will too." I smiled at her for agreeing in the end.

"Thank you mom." She kissed the top of my head and walked towards the kitchen. That would probably end in a disaster if I know my mom.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and checked my messages. I took a deep breath before typing 3 letters to Zach, "Hey." I knew it wasn't likely for me to get a response, but after my talk with my mother I felt the need to reach out to him.

To my surprise, 5 minutes later, my phone vibrated. Zach texted me back 'Hey." I knew we were finally moving a small step forward. I couldn't keep the smile off my face for the rest of the day.

Zach pov (bet you didn't see that coming!)

Cammie was being persistent. I had to keep my distance from her, for her own sake. I hated not talking to her. I hated hearing her outside my door and forcing myself not to open it. I despised myself for listening to her heartbreaking voicemails and not having the courage to call her. Hearing her cry, and plead with me to see reason broke me down every time.

Despite all the pain I put both of us through, I thought distancing myself from her would be necessary to help her. I would only pull her back from opportunities most people would accept without a second's hesitation.

My Cammie was different. She keeps trying to get me to see that staying here for her will be just as beneficial as going to New York. I try my hardest to believe that every day.

The truth is, I lost faith in myself. I live Cammie with all of my heart, I just don't think she should put aside her dreams to be with me. I never wanted her to choose between the man she loves and her aspirations.

However, that day in the park where Cammie came to me and didn't let me push her away restored my faith in myself. She sat me down and explained to me that she won't be giving up easily and she still loves me. I knew she still cared for me just as much as I did her, but I needed to hear that she wasn't giving up.

I tried to be selfless when I decided to let Cammie go for her own good. I don't want her to leave which is selfish of me, since I know it's for the best.

Grant came and yelled at me a bunch of times to talk to Cammie. Not only was it taking it's toll on me and her but our friends as well, especially the ones that overlapped.

When I told Grant why I was going out of my way to avoid her, he called me weak. "You are too weak to fight for the girl you love, so you walk away and makes excuses for it." Maybe he's right.

With that thought in my head, I replied back to her text, and soon enough we were engaging in small talk. It felt nice, to say the least. Maybe I am taking things too far, or being too over dramatic?

A/N: Yay early update! I was going to finish this tomorrow but I decided to cut things short (sorry). Warning, be prepared for a major time skip in the next chapter. I was thinking maybe 3-4 months ahead in time. Just wanted to let you guys know now so it won't come as a surprise. I think this story might be done by Chapter 80. Everything is coming along much quicker than I anticipated. I hope I have enough time to fix all of the loose ends.

Anyway, what did you guys think of this chapter, granted it was mostly filler but still. We are going to see a big change in Zach and Cammie's relationship. I can't wait to write it. On a similar note, the next chapter will probably be up in 2 weeks.

And it would mean so much to me if you guys will go read my new(ish) Gallagher Fanfic called Classic (formally called So Much for Ever After).

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