Chapter 72-The Big Mistake

Chapter 72- The Big Mistake 

Zach pov

In hindsight I should have said anything other than "we need to talk." It sends out a bunch of mixed signals. Cammie stayed silent for a while before responding.

"Are you sure you want to do this over the phone?" Her voice didn't reveal anything to me. I hope she didn't take it the wrong way. I began to freak out. I still don't know how to phrase everything. Maybe I should have waited another week to tell her.

"It's important, we should meet in person." At least that way I could give myself an extra five minutes. I am such a coward. Why am I so scared to tell her? Maybe because she might hate me. I won't know until I tell her. It's time for me to man up.

"Ok do you want to talk at your house?"

"Meet me in Roseville Park in 10 minutes." I knew I was pushing it timewise, but if I didn't do this now, I don't think I could in the future.

"Sure Zach." And then she hung on up me. I sighed and put the phone down. She seemed confused, not that I blame her. I tried to gather my thoughts as I walked to the park. Normally it would be a 5 minute walk, however, today I was going slower. I was nervous, that was a given.

How will she take the news? Will she hate me? Probably yes, but for how long? Will she break up with me? Is she going to slap me? Will she let me finish my explanation?

All these questions were driving me crazy. The stress, the anxiety and the feeling like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders was too much. I told myself it would all be over soon. I would know Cammie's reaction in a few minutes and maybe the feeling of guilty would go away. We'll see what happens.

By the time I already got to the park, Cammie was already there waiting on a park bench. She looked around nervous wrapped up in her thick coat and red scarf. Her cheeks were pink from the cold.

It was cold outside, every breath I took was frosted in the frigid air. I made my way over to her shoving my hands in my pockets. I should have worn gloves.

She stood up once I came close. Cammie took one good look at my face and said, "Is everything alright Zach?" There is no backing out now. I was too nervous to form any words so I shrugged.

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not exactly sure Cammie." I told her honestly. "You may want to sit down for this." She sits back down on the bench worried.

"What is going on Zach, you don't look well." She's right, all this stress was starting to take a toll on me. The guilt was eating me away.

I froze and then out of nowhere I blurted out my encounter with my mother to Cammie. She stood there completely still as I told her how my mother hates her for a dumb reason, hates her aunt for dating my dad and hates my dad in general. I told her how she seemed like she was slowly losing her grip on sanity. I told her how I wanted to check up on her more often, no matter what she did, she was still my mother. I let Cammie know that I believe that she was wrong in whatever she said, especially about Cammie. She is using everyone else as a scapegoat in a mistake she made almost 18 years ago.

"Is that what you really wanted to tell me?" She knew me too well. She knew I was stalling. I shook my head.

"There's something I have to tell you Cammie. You may not like it but please promise me that you will wait until I finish explaining." I pleaded with her. She nodded slowly. "I promise Zach."

I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I haven't been completely honest with you lately. I know that you know this, but you haven't asked what it is yet. Although I know you are dying to know what is it I'm keeping from you. And I have a good reason too."

"What is it Zach?" She whispered softly, not meeting my gaze.

"I never meant to hurt you Gallagher Girl. I love you, remember that."

"What did you do Zach?" Cammie asked me louder.

"I lied to you. Well it's not technically a lie, just something big I left out. I never told you what schools I got into. I didn't get accepted to any of the schools in New York. My choices are between Roseville University and George Mason. The fact of the matter is that I'm staying in-state for college." Ok I've told her. It's out of my system! Then why do I still feel guilty.

"That's it Zach, really?" I was expecting a different reaction from her.

"You aren't mad at me?" I asked her wearily. This seems a little surreal. Isn't this supposed to be the part where Cammie rips my head apart? Maybe I'm just overreacting about this whole time. Maybe I was just playing it out as dramatic in my head.

"I'm angry at you Zach for lying to me. A lie of omission is still a lie. When you said you wanted to talk, I thought it would be something more serious." I'm confused. What is going on right now? Am I in the twilight zone?

"This is serious." I tell her. She shook her head and stood up from the bench. "This isn't a big deal Zach. The solution is simple, you are just over-looking it. Don't overcomplicate things." She placed her hands on my face.

"We can get over this. This is not a problem for us." I looked into her eyes. I knew what she was going to do. I can't let her do this. I won't let her throw her life away for me. She deserves all the chances she can get.

I grabbed her hands with my own, and slowly slid them down my face. "You're wrong Cammie. This is important. I know what you are planning to do and I can't let you do this." Now it was her turn to look confused.

"Would it be such a bad thing Zach? I want to be with you. I love you, why can't you understand that?"

"Listen to me Cammie. You didn't let me finish before. I had trouble telling you because I don't want to lose you." She interrupted me by kissing me. It wasn't the worst interruption. She pulled away and rested her forehead on mine.

"You won't lose me Zach. I'm not going anywhere." She can't promise that. She will realize soon enough that I'm not good enough for her. I never will be.

"You don't know where the future holds. You got into those schools in New York, you deserve it. You don't deserve to go to college here just because my options are limited. I don't want you to limit your future to stay with me. You deserve all the best in the world, and staying with me Cammie will only drag you down."

"How do you know Zach? Why are you so adamant on thinking you will ruin my life? Do you know who gets to say when my life is in shambles, me! You can't make these decisions for me. I want to be with you. I don't care if I throw my life away, which I'm not! I love you Zach. I will run to the ends of the Earth with you, as cliche as it sounds. This works out perfectly too.Nothing you can say will make me change my mind."

She was stubborn, I'll give her that. She is willing to give up her great opportunities for me. While it is flattering, I won't let her lose everything for me. I now know what I need to do. I know it's going to hurt, and I might end up regretting this later, but it is what needs to be done.

I have to break up with her.

"Maybe this will help. We are over." It took all of my willpower to get those bitter words out of my mouth. I regretted them instantly, but I couldn't take them back now. I had to close my eyes so I wouldn't see her reaction.

"Are you saying what I think you are saying?" She asked me. From the way she sounded, she was in shock, so was I.

"I'm breaking up with you Cammie." I had to swallow back my own tears. A lump formed in my throat, it became hard to speak. "Now you can go on without being held back by me."

"Don't do this Zach! Staying here works, my parents want me to be in-state, I can be with you. I can be closer to my father's grave. Don't do this to me!" I opened my eyes. A tear ran down my face. Cammie was already crying. It broke my heart to see her like this and know it was because of me.

"I'm sorry Cammie, this is the only way."

She wiped away her tears with her hands quickly, yet they still fell freely. I wish I could be the one to brush them away and tell her everything will be alright.

"No matter what you say. I will always choose you Zach." Then she gave me one last look then walked away. I have never felt more like an idiot in my life. I just let the best thing that ever happened to me, walk away.

What have I done?

Cammie pov

I was silently crying on my way home. Zach thinks he is doing the right thing by breaking up with me. I have to show him that he's wrong. I know he's insecure, we both are. I understand his reasoning but I don't agree with it at all.

I was glad the house was empty when I came back. I didn't want my mom or Joe to see me like this. I made it up to my room,, and to my computer. What I'm going to do now, I do it for my love of Zach.

I decided what college I'm going to.

A/N: This was a hard chapter to write. I wanted to show Zach's nervousness and insecurities which drove him to break up with Cammie claiming it was for her own good. I quickly added Cammie's pov at the end to give you guys some insight on what she was going to do. By the way, what do you think she did? Hehe, I love writing cliffhangers because I'm evil. Also it gives me more time to come up with an idea for the next chapter ;)

In order news, I finished Rescue Me (finally!). The epilogue, playlist and random extras are up! And this story is coming close to an end too. I think by Chapter 80, things should be wrapping up. I think by far that this will be my longest story yet. So far it's been a little over 3 years since I started this.

Remember to vote, comment and share this story! The next chapter will hopefully be up in 2 weeks.