Chapter 7

Jay was suited and booted, ready for Daron to pick him up for the wedding. As he was fixing up his hair, there was a knock at the door. He rushed as he yelled "Coming!"

Once he finished, he sped over to the door and opened it up only to find Siva. Siva looked him up and down with a smirk. "You look fancy," he stated.

"Is there a reason you keep randomly stopping by?" Jay asked, irritated by the sight of him.

"As always, I came here to try and work things out."

"Well, your persistence is driving me nuts."

"It's all I can manage to do."

"Do you honestly think it's getting you anywhere?"

"Further than remaining silent and ignoring you."

Jay bit his tongue, knowing it was true. "I'm going to leave any minute now. I've got a date picking me up," he said, trying to get Siva jealous.

"Is it the guy I met the night I sat out in front of your door."

"Yes. His name is Daron."

"Right. Where are you guys going?"

"Why do you care?"

"I'm just curious."

"We're attending a wedding, if you must know."

"Is it his families?"

"Yeah."

"Well aren't you guys moving fast," Siva said surprised. "He's already making his family meet you?"

"You don't even know when we met. At least he likes me enough to tell the world and the people he loves."

"That response would hurt me if I didn't have a girlfriend that I've been dating for six years."

"Siva," Jay breathed as he shut his eyes to relax. "You're only making things worse. Please leave."

"Not until you say you forgive me."

"Noway." His eyes reopened. "I don't think there's a chance that I ever will."

"Come on, Jay!" Siva pleaded. "I'll do anything to get back in your good graces."

"If you want to get back in my good graces, tell Nareesha what you've done. Show her who you really are before you can become the biggest mistake of her life. She deserves the truth."

"I can't do that. She'd never forgive me, no matter how many times I'd beg for her forgiveness."

"Who knows, your persistence might work on her," he replied sarcastically.

Jay's phone buzzed in the front pocket of his pants. He pulled it out and read his notification. "Oh, Daron is on his way. You should go now." He slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Jay, please give me a chance. I know we can make this work."

"And I honestly don't think we can.

Do you not understand how you hurt me? Not only did you break the frail little heart I had, but you played me and used me for your own benefit. You say you're sorry, but that doesn't change what happened. That doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't change the way I see you right now."

"Jay," Siva fought to say as his eyes became clouded with tears. He felt so disgusted with himself. He hadn't realized how much he hurt Jay. Now that he did, he knew there was nothing he could possibly do to fix his mess. His chances were extremely slim.

"Don't start tearing up." Jay looked away.

Siva dropped his head into his hands, ashamed of himself for crying.

Unable to bear the sight of Siva in such hopelessness, Jay surrendered and took Siva into his warm embrace. "Okay, okay," he whispered. "Settle down."

They stayed like that for a while until Siva managed to regain control of himself.

He rose his head from Jay's shoulder, their eyes instantly locking. His cheeks and nose were rosy and tear stained. He grew calm looking upon the younger lad.

Jay settled his hand on the side of Siva's cheek and stretched out his neck to bring his face closer to him.

"Don't," Siva said.

Jay furrowed in embarrassment and disappointment. He wanted Siva so badly. He wanted to kiss those pink lips of his once more, and make him feel better.

As he brought his head back, Siva instantly attacked him with his lips.

Their heads bobbed and swayed as they delved into each other's mouths. They wrapped their arms around each other tightly, Siva twining his fingers in Jay's curly locks.

Jay brought him over to his couch without separating. They just continued going on, not ever holding back. They longed for each other for a while, so their was nothing that could possibly stop them at this rate.

Siva -being on top of Jay- began unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. Before bringing them down he pulled away from Jay and laid his forehead against his.

Breathing hard, he spoke. "I want you to be mine, and I mean it this time with every fiber in my body. I need you to be mine."

Jay smiled, his blue eyes shimmering with joy. He nodded. "I'm all yours Seev, and only yours."

•••

They lied on Jay's bed panting, exhausted from their intercourse that lasted a few hours.

"I feel bad now," said Jay.

"Why?" Siva asked.

"I dropped Daron at the last minute."

"It's not like you two would've ever worked out."

"What do you mean?"

"It isn't rocket science. You were never over me. He was just someone you used to get your mind off of me."

"You're wrong about that."

"Oh really?" Siva smirked as he turned his eyes to Jay who laid beside him, looking to the ceiling.

"We were never dating." Jay chuckled. "We're just friends. He was interested in dating me, but I told him it couldn't happen. I was hoping I could eventually date him, though. How could I not? He's hot, cute, and he's really smart and funny.

Did I mention he's hot?" Jay gave a slight laugh.

"So, you just told me you two were dating to get me jealous?"

"And to get you off my back."

"But I ended right back on it, literally." Siva laughed.

"Ha-ha. Very funny."

"You know it is."

"Whatever." Jay rolled over and placed his head on Siva's bare chest. "What are you going to tell Nareesha?" He rubbed it with the pad of his thumb.

Siva sighed. "I don't know."

"She'll be really hurt finding out about us."

"I know. I'd hate to do that to her. I don't want to leave her upset." Nor did he want to let her go. Nareesha was all that used to matter to Siva. She was his world, but then Jay came along and turned everything around.

"If you want us to exist, you've got to."

"What if..." Siva trailed off, dismissing his idea.

"What? Tell me."

"Forget it."

"Tell me!"

"Fine," he relented. "What if I continue to date her, but slowly distance myself from her. That way she'll get tired of our relationship, which would lead to a breakup."

"You'd have to initiate the separation, though. She might not want to give up on you guys."

"Then I will be the one to break us off."

"That's a good idea, but I don't like the thought of us having to sneak around because of it."

"I know, but I can't just drop her like we were nothing. We basically made our lives one. We've lived together for the longest. Her nieces absolutely love me, and I them. That would affect them greatly. And what about our families-"

"You overthinking this. Now you just sound like your giving me a list of reasons on why you shouldn't break up with her."

"It's just hard to let all of that go. We've spent forever building up the life we have together."

"Had," Jay corrected.

"We haven't broken up yet."

"Yeah, but what you guys built has changed since the first night you slept with me.

I'll let you carry out your idea, but you better not lose the grip you have on yourself. This could all end badly for all of us, and it would be all your fault."

"I'm aware of that. Just trust me, Jay." Siva brushed his curls from his face. "We're going to be together. Nothing can prevent that from happening. Not even Jesus himself."

Jay chuckled. "Alright. I trust you."

"That's my boy." Siva pecked Jay's lips. "Now, how about some Chinese food?"

"Mmm. Sounds yummy."

"Good. I'll order us some something."

•••

"Hi, baba!" Nareesha greeted Siva at the front door of their apartment with a hug and a kiss. "What'd you and Jay do today?" She wrapped her arms around his waist as she looked up at him lovingly.

"Erm... Nothing much. We just played some video games, ate Chinese, and you know, guy stuff."

"That's nice."

"What did you do for the day?"

"Nothing much. I just went to work, came home, and kept working." She laughed. "I was just about to cook. Do you want anything specific?"

"I'm fine, actually. I'm just really tired."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll go shower and then sleep."

"Okay." Nareesha puckered her lips for Siva to kiss them. Instead he put his cheek to them with a chuckle and walked away.

"You're going to regret that, Mister," Nareesha joked as she shook her fist in the air.

•••

Siva put on a pair of briefs and hopped into bed when Nareesha appeared in the doorway.

"Seev," she said, catching his attention. He sat up.

"You left your clothes in the bathroom, so I put them in the hamper, but they had an unfamiliar scent on them."

"What?" Siva asked.

"Their's a fragrance on them that you don't own."

"Oh, right." Siva tried to come up with an explanation. "I erm... I..."

"You what?"

"I tried on one of Jay's colognes."

"Aha," Nareesha replied in suspicion. "It doesn't resemble your taste in colognes."

"You know what your problem is? You are a fragrance-aholic." He laughed, but Nareesha didn't.

"Oh come on, baba. What's all the speculation for? It's just cologne."

"I know; I know. I'm just a bit worried."

"About?"

"About us."

"Why?"

"When you came back from the tour, I felt like I was losing you. I know you won't tell me what was wrong, but I'm dying to know. It bothers me every second that goes by."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"I was tired of everything. I felt like I needed some time for myself."

"Okay, now can you give me the actual truth?"

"I just told you," he exclaimed.

Nareesha surrendered with a sigh. "I give up. I don't even know why I bothered, or why you can't tell me the truth."

"Does this really matter?"

"Yes!"

"No. What matters is our happiness. If I can recall, we've been pretty happy for the past two weeks. Let's not ruin this."

Yeah, they might've been enjoying themselves, but not everything was handy-dandy. Something was going on that Nareesha couldn't quite put her finger on. She knew she was right, she felt it everyday when she looked at Siva. Something was different about him and she needed to know what it was and what's caused it.

•••

"Hello," Daron answered on the other line.

"Hey! Are you home yet?" Jay asked.

"Yeah. I've been home all day."

"What? Why didn't you go to your cousin's wedding?"

"You didn't come with me."

"So?"

"So, I didn't go. I couldn't."

A bubble of silence enveloped the two. They stayed like that for a while.

"Why? What's wrong?" Jay finally asked. A surge of guilt went rushing through him.

"The truth is, my relatives hate me. They despise me for who I am... for being gay. I couldn't walk into that church alone. I couldn't see them scowling at me or just expressing complete disgust. Most of all, I couldn't bare to see my parents. They'd be ashamed and disgraced.

I was eighteen when I came out of the closet. And, when I told them they said I was lying and that I shouldn't fool around like that. I argued with them in an attempt to convince them that I was telling the truth, but they already knew it.

So, when they couldn't take it anymore they told me if I continued to go about saying that I was gay or even 'act' it out, they'd disown me. That's why I didn't go to the wedding; that's why I live in London now.

I do feel bad about having not attended. My cousin and I are really close. She loves me unconditionally unlike all of my other relatives."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Daron. If I'd known, I would've gone with you, even though something came up."

"What is it that came up?"

"I hear a tone of disbelief in your voice."

"Did you no longer want to come because of something I did? Did you not want to be seen with me?"

"No, that's not it at all."

"Then what?"

"It's personal. I'm sorry but I can't talk about it."

"Is this what it's always gonna be like? I don't like secrets being kept from me by people I care about. It's just something that I can't bear with."

"I'll tell you everything soon; I promise. I'm just unsure of how soon it will be."

Daron sighed. "Okay, Jay. I'm tired now. I'm going to go to bed."

"OKay. Goodnight."

Daron hesitated to reply. "Goodnight."

Jay clciked his phone off and sank his head into his pillow. Thoughts started to tear away at him, which left a pile of guilt falling down on him in an instant. He wasn't sure if he could go on keeping him and Siva a secret, and he certainly didn't want to break Nareesha's heart. He loved her like a sister. It was bad enough that this would be affecting her greatly, but now other's feelings were coming into play such as Daron's.

•••

Any predictions? I'm curoius to know what you guys think will come of all this:)