Chapter 33

Jess’s voice rang through loud and clear as she was singing the song just for me. Her eyes never left mine through the entire song and for those three minutes or so, it felt like we were the only two people in that crowded room. Out of everything I expected tonight, I surely didn’t expect any of this. As the last note was sung the only thing I could think was how much I actually love Jess. I’ve said it so much in my mind but I feel like I fall in love with her more and more every day, as cliché as that sounds.

Screams erupted from the crowd as the music stopped and I found that neither me nor Jess could stop smiling. I leaned in to kiss her on the cheek but was surprised when she turned her head at the last second so that I’d catch her lips. The crowd just got even louder from there causing both of us to smile, effectively breaking the kiss after only a few seconds. I felt like I was on top of the world right now and I can imagine that Jess felt the same.

Next thing I knew, Jess had closed the show and I was being led backstage toward her dressing room. As soon as we entered the room she shut the door and looked at me with a worrisome look on her face. That was the exact opposite of what I was expecting and I looked at her, confused.

“I’m so sorry, Elena. I don’t know what came over me,” she said quickly.

“Wait, what? What are you sorry for?” I asked incredulously. She looked almost in tears and I couldn’t even imagine what she thought she had done wrong.

“Putting you out there like that,” she said tiredly. “I didn’t even ask you beforehand and I just didn’t think.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I stopped her before she could continue. I could already tell that she was about to get worked up over nothing which she often seems to do. “I’m not angry at you. Jess, I love you and I’d stand in front of the entire world with you. I don’t mind that people know about us and see us together. It doesn’t bother me.”

“Really?” she said, a smile already forming on her face. “You promise it was okay?”

“Yes, I promise. Although we may have to talk about you posting pictures of me while I’m asleep on Instagram,” I added jokingly.

“What,” her faced dropped as she realized she’d been caught.

“Yeah your fans told on you,” I laughed. “Seriously though, are we going home now?”

I was loving the night out, don’t get me wrong. But I was tired as hell. Instead of answering me though, Jess just kept staring at me with this weird look on her face, like I’d suddenly sprouted a second head or some shit. Like what the hell?

“What? What did I say?”

“You called it home,” she said, smiling as big as ever.

“Oh,” I said, realizing what I actually said. It felt right though. Just another thing that has finally clicked into place in my life. “All right well, let’s go home.”

An hour later, Jess and I were finally home and I was currently in our en suite bathroom getting ready for bed. I was having such a good day in comparison to the last month or so that I just didn’t want it to end. Having PTSD was really getting to me and I knew that I needed to not take the good days for granted.

I looked down at the pill bottles next to the sink just as I had early this morning. The idea of not taking my sleeping pill this time did briefly cross my mind but I thought better of it. I knew tomorrow would be moving in day for me since it was the only day off Jess had for a while and the last thing I needed was to be dead on my feet. I took the orange pill and hurried along with my routine knowing that I’d be out within fifteen minutes.

When I walked out of the bathroom Jess was already sitting up in bed waiting for me. As usual, she was typing away on her phone. Probably one of her many social networks as she always does. I decided to make a nuisance of myself and lay my head down on her lap while giving her my best ‘pay attention to me’ pout.

I felt her shake slightly with laughter as she finally put her phone down and started running her fingers through my hair as she often does.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I feel okay,” I answered as I moved closer to her, pressing my cheek against her stomach. “Just tired.”

I circled my arms around her waist and closed my eyes as I felt myself getting drowsy already. I did have something else to say though before I let sleep take over.

“I was thinking about going back to work the day after tomorrow,” I mumbled, partially opening one eye to look up at Jess. She paused her methodical stroking of my hair for a second as what I said had sunk in.

“Really? Are you sure you feel well enough?” she asked. She was obviously feeling a bit unsure of the whole thing as was I. But I had to go back to normal at some time or another.

“I want to try,” I said, too tired to elaborate anything further. This was probably the worst time to have a serious conversation now that I think about it. You could only fight off a sleeping pill for so long.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” is all I heard before I was forcefully pulled into a deep sleep.

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The next morning I was awakened by the sound of Jess whispering in my ear. All I heard was her saying “wake up, wake up” over and over. All I did was turn my head and groan at being awake so early.

“Come on, Elena. We have to go move your things today,” she said as she climbed on top of me and straddled me at the waist.

“Go away,” I mumbled while making a feeble attempt at shoving her off of me. She only laughed and pinned my arms down at my sides while planting kisses over my entire face. She obviously wasn’t going to give in, or so I thought.

“Fine,” she said after I continued to fight her. “I think you might regret not getting up though.”

I halfway opened one eye as she said this, wondering what she meant by that but she had already left the room. I didn’t dwell on her words too much as I turned over, thinking that I was finally able to get another hour’s worth of sleep.

It was about five minutes later when I heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew it would be Jess coming to pester me again and so I turned over and buried my face in the pillow, bracing myself. It was quiet all of a sudden and I relaxed slightly only to feel the frigid sensation of water being poured all over me.

“What the fuck?!” I jumped up as that uncomfortable wet sensation creeped around my neck and soaked my clothes and hair. Jess just stood there next to the bed laughing loudly while holding a glass in her hand.

“I told you that you’d regret now getting up,” she said smugly.

“No,” I said calmly. “I think you might be the one regretting this.”

I got up just as Jess quickly turned and ran out of the room, down the stairs. I quickly followed suit but as she headed in another direction I went straight into the kitchen. I grabbed the first two glasses I could find and filled them with cold water before walking off to find where Jess had run off to.

As I walked into the living room I could already see it was pretty damn obvious where she was considering I could hear uncontrollable laughter from behind the couch. I set the two glasses on the coffee table and leaned over the back of the couch to see Jess crouched behind there.

“No, please, I’m sorry,” she half laughed, half pleaded as she shrunk back as low as she could. I draped myself over the couch and grabbed her by the waist, successfully pulling her up and over the couch after a ton of fighting with her. I don’t know how but somehow I managed to pin her onto the floor with my legs at either side of her hips. She was laughing so hard I doubt that she could breathe to be honest.

“Oh, what’s this,” I said slowly as I reached for the two glasses on the table.

“I said I was sorry, please don’t,” she begged as she tried to get her hands free, which were currently trapped between her hips and my own legs.

I laughed as I tipped the glasses, successfully soaking Jess just as she’d done to me. She struggled against my hold even more now that the cold water was doing its job which caused me to laugh even harder. She finally stopped fighting me once she realized that I wasn’t going to let her go and sighed.

“Okay, okay. You got me,” she chuckled. I smiled smugly at her before releasing her hands but keeping myself sat where I was.

“Guess you should have let me sleep then,” I said before leaning down and pressing my lips to hers.

“Hmm, it was worth it,” she mumbled against my lips before returning the kiss. Our lips moved in sync and I felt almost intoxicated by her. After what felt like a few minutes I’d slowly made my way down to Jess’s jawline and eventually lower to her neck. I hadn’t thought anything of it until I felt her breathing pick up slightly and I could feel her pulse quicken under my lips. That’s when I stopped.

I didn’t want to stop by any means. Of course I didn’t. I guess you could say I was sort of afraid to take it any further. Stupid, I know. Especially since I’ve been feeling close to normal the past couple days. I don’t know why I was so afraid of taking anything further with Jess. If I knew, I’d sure as hell fix it because I know that Jess feels a bit hurt by my apprehension. She’d never admit it and she always reassured me that she understood but I know it still hurt.

I sat back up, unsure of what to do or say. I was about to speak but Jess raised herself up so that her elbows rested on the floor, supporting her upper body. She kissed me softly before sliding out from under me.

“Let’s go change and go get your things, all right?”

She spoke so calmly, like nothing had happened just now. I, on the other hand, felt so guilty that all I wanted to do was apologize over and over but I stayed quiet and followed Jess up the stairs. I could already tell that there were so many things that need to change, starting with myself and Jess.

A/N  Let me just briefly talk about what's happening with updates and junk. I know I take forever and I seriously don't mean to and I know it's super annoying but I have been so busy these past few months like I can't even. However, after May 5th I will be done with school for a while so I'll have tons more time to sit down and write. At the moment all I ever have time for is to sit here and write a few sentences at a time which sucks... So yes, after my big exam I'll be able to update several times a week just like I used to so don't fear. I promise I'm not always this shitty with updates. Just with this fanfic apparently...

ALSO I need to know if everyone is up for a Jessie fanfic that doesn't involve a romantic relationship at all because my brain is doing the thing and I have an idea. Possibly. So yeah let me know. I might even write it anyway because I do what I want.

also #jatie is the best bye