Chapter 31

When I woke up the next morning, I noticed it was still dark outside. I knew the reason I was awake now was the fact that I hadn’t taken my sleeping pills last night. I didn’t feel like I needed to for once. Glancing over at the clock, I saw that it was about four in the morning. Not too bad, I think. Plus I didn’t have any horrible dreams this time so I’d take it.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to try to get a bit more sleep but snapped them open just as quickly. There wasn’t the usual weight of Jess against my side and I was suddenly very aware of the empty space next to me. I sat up slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the dark room until I saw Jess huddled at the edge of the bed which was odd for her. I’ve learned over the past five months of knowing Jess that she was just naturally a cuddler even in her sleep.

I carefully scooted over to her, taking care not to rustle her, and slipped my arm around her waist. Only then did I realize that there was something wrong. As soon as my arm made contact with her waist, I noticed she was breathing faster than normal. I turned her over carefully and moved her hair out of her face, which was damp with sweat.

Carefully, I reached over and turned on the small lamp so that I could see clearly and noticed a lot of the moisture was due to the tears running down Jess’s cheeks. She was crying in her sleep so she was obviously having some kind of horrible nightmare. I was torn between leaving her be and actually waking her up but soon that decision was made for me.

“Elena…” I heard her mumble slightly. She sounded distressed and I immediately started to gently shake her awake.

“Jess, wake up,” I said quietly over and over.

I felt her jump slightly before her eyes opened and darted around, confused. Her chest was rising and falling dramatically as she tried to slow her frantic breathing. She looked almost lost for a moment until her gaze finally settled on me.

“Hey, are you okay?” I said calmly as I continued to brush her hair away from her face.

Wordlessly, she sat up and clung to me. She started sobbing all over again and I didn’t know what to do besides hold on to her. In all honesty, Jess was scaring me. Her cries were loud and it sounded like she could barely breathe in between sobs. I quietly shushed her while I reassured her over and over that it was okay. I knew that she had just had a nightmare, but I, of all people, knew exactly how terrifying dreams can be.

It was a long time before Jess had calmed down to the point where there were just silent tears dripping onto my neck. My fingers were running gently up and down her back in an effort to comfort her further and I eventually did speak.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked her quietly. She did nothing but shake her head and so I didn’t press the matter further. I did, however, move so that we were both laying down again. Jess still hadn’t said a word as she laid right up against my side. I glanced at the clock again and noticed it was now going on five in the morning. I knew Jess only had a gig in the evening so she wouldn’t need to get up any time soon.

“Why don’t you try getting some more sleep, Jess?” I whispered to her.

“You won’t leave right?” she said, her voice hoarse from crying. I was surprised she’d said anything at all to be honest.

“Of course I won’t leave. I’ll be right here when you wake up,” I assured her.

“You promise?” she persisted.

“I promise,” I said, holding up my pinky as we usually do. I saw a small smile form on her lips as she linked her pinky with mine before grasping my hand in hers.

“I love you,” I heard her whisper as she moved to lay against my chest.

“I love you too.”

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I didn’t go back to sleep like I wanted to. Instead I laid awake, listening to Jess’s slow, even breathing, and watching her for any more signs of distress. They never came though. She’d mumble a bit in her sleep but that alone was normal for her. Other than that everything was calm.

When the sun started to shine brightly through the windows, that’s when Jess started to stir again. Her arm tightened its hold around my waist slightly as she opened her eyes and looked up at me moments later.

“Hi,” she said in her cute sleepy voice.

“Did you sleep okay?” I asked her as I kissed her forehead. She smiled and moved over so that she was laying on her own pillow now.

“Yeah. I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know why I was so freaked out,” she said apologetically.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” I said as I sat up and stretched outward. “I can’t even count the amount of times you’ve done the same for me.”

“Still,” she sighed. “It was stupid. I don’t even know why I got so bothered.”

I simply shrugged and got up, heading into the bathroom for the normal morning routine and what not. As soon as I turned to look in the mirror it kind of struck me that I actually felt normal today. I mean, my head wasn’t everywhere like it normally was so that was a plus.

I looked down at the little white bottle sat on the corner of the sink. Those green pills inside have caused a lot of trouble the last few weeks and I almost considered not taking them. But then I’d just be setting myself up for some kind of nervous breakdown. They had me on such a high dosage that I had no doubt stopping cold turkey would cause something really bad to happen and I had no want for that. So like a good girl I took my two green pills and went on with my routine.

When I walked out of the bathroom I saw Jess sitting up in bed typing away at her phone. I crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to her. A few minutes later she finally put her phone down and turned to me with the exact look on her face that she gets when she’s about to ask me something.

“So I was thinking…” Jess started.

“Mhm… Thinking about what?” I said as I grabbed her hand to hold while she talked.

“Well, you know that gig I have tonight?” She waited for me to nod before continuing. “Do you think you would like to, um, come with me and watch?”

“What? Of course I’d like to come watch,” I said, slightly shocked that she had asked me. In all the time Jess and I have been together I’ve never actually seen her perform or heard more than a few of her songs. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it just never came up.

“Good,” she said, pecking me on lips once. “Plus you get front row,” she said jokingly.

I laughed at that and rested my head on Jess’s shoulder while I idly played with her fingers. There was silence for a few minutes before Jess broke it again. This time, I heard an obvious hesitation in her voice.

“…Can I ask you something else?”

“You can ask me anything, you know that,” I told her as I rubbed the back of her hand gently with my thumb.

“So, I was doing some more thinking…”

“As you always do,” I joked, earning an elbow in my ribs.

“I was wondering what you would think about maybe, possibly moving in with me? Maybe?” Jess said nervously.

I didn’t say anything for a second. I actually had to let that one sink in. That definitely wasn’t what I was expecting. While I was pondering over her words, I failed to notice the anxious look on Jess’s face until she started rambling nervously.

“It’s just-well I kind of thought it would make sense since we’re together all the time anyway, and we’re always staying over at either one of our places anyway. I-shit-It’s too early isn’t it? I fucked up didn’t I? I’m sorry you don’t have to feel pressured to m-“

I cut Jess’s rambling off with a kiss, knowing that she wasn’t going to stop any time soon if I didn’t do it for her. I felt her relax instantly and when I did finally pull away, Jess had a smile on her face.

“I’d love to move in with you.”

A/N  I'm really sorry I rushed this chapter and it's not my best but I have things to say.

Okay so firstly, I've gotten quite a few people asking me if I was still going to continue this fic because of what went down the other day or whatever. So basically I do not give a shit, nor have I ever, about Jessie's sexuality. You all know this if you read my Tumblr post from the other night. This is fan-fiction. Fiction. Meaning, I do what I want regardless. I can have Jessie adopt a pet dinosar and have them frolic away in the land of purple daisies and no one is going to say anything because it's my story. Real life Jessie has very little to do with how I shape my stories event-wise. None of this would ever happen in a million years and we all know that. End of. 

Not only that but was it honestly a surprise to anyone? Anyway.

I'm really really sorry about not updating as much as I usually do. April is an extremely busy month for me every year so don't worry, I'm not disappearing. I've just been busy. Everything will be back to normal soon. 

That being said, i hope you guys liked this chapter whether it was rushed or not. And I know it's a bit boring lately but I promise it gets exciting soon. Thank you for reading. I always appreciate you all talking to me about the story as it really encourages me to keep going. So yes. I'll stop talking now.