Mo Anam Cara

There was no heavier than this silence Ijekiel is having with Lucas right now.

He had never thought that he would agree to meet with him after everything. He could still the punch he received from Lucas when he was beating him up with no mercy. It had become one of Ijekiel's traumatic experience and surprisingly reasonably good for him. Because of that, he was woken up to all what was happening to him.

How all of this ended up his fault.

Still, he thinks that Lucas deserve an apology and a talk from him.

"I heard that you broke up with Athanasia..." Lucas broke the silence. Even though he wasn't the one driving, his eyes remained on the road. If he does look at Ijekiel's face, he would only see Athanasia in a coma and might ended up punching Ijekiel again. "... I thought that you are going to stay with her and learned your lesson..."

"I did learn my lesson..." Ijekiel said with a chuckle then gave Lucas a quick glance, the latter was stubborn not to meet Ijekiel in the eyes. "... That is why I agreed to end things with her..."

Lucas remained silent, leaning onto his fist as his arm was placed on the window. He then lets out a sigh, tilting his head. "What if Athanasia still have feelings for you and you just end it like that...?" He muttered. It was his thoughts that was flowing out of his mouth, not him. Which made him want to punch himself for saying such things like that and did not keep it to himself. For the first time, Lucas felt like an idiot.

"Athanasia was the one who broke our relationship off before I could say anything," Ijekiel replied. His voice seemed a bit sad though his expression remained the same. He then parked the car on the nearby sidewalk and turned to Lucas, his eyes were dead serious. "All these years of being by her side... I thought I had the same feeling as hers... but seeing her suffering because of my inattentiveness made me think that I was just using her for my gain just because I knew someone loves me..."

Lucas was ready to attack Ijekiel again when he heard the latter first, but Ijekiel came in clutch to same himself by immediately cutting Lucas off to continue. 

"... Not only it broke her... but it also broke me..."

"..."

"Athanasia is a precious person that I have in my life along with Jennette and my family... That is why how I now see myself as a heartless bastard just you see in me when I found out what I had done to her..." Ijekiel added, showing a sad smile. No matter how he wanted to make this conversation light, he couldn't. Just whenever he stares at Lucas, he could see what he had done to Athanasia. 

He shook his head to clear this thoughts and turned his head away from Lucas, sighing. "Just what I have thought when I was in abroad..." He muttered.

Lucas showed a confused look. "I get what you were saying earlier but what now?"

Ijekiel rolled his eyes in a teasing way. "When you're smart at anything related outside of you but then you're dense when it comes to yourself..." He commented, louder for Lucas to hear. He was given a glare by the latter but he ignored it and continued to drive.

"Where are you taking me again?"

"I forgot."

"..."

-----

"Hey Lucas..."

It was night when Lucas came to visit Athanasia. He was lying down next to her on the hospital bed. It just happened one way or another when the younger insisted for him to lie down with her as she falls asleep. Lucas knew that this was a bad thing, knowing that his heart would be having the Olympics inside his ribcage right now. Lucas had never been so close like this to her ever. It seemed like a good opportunity but at the same time, hellish for him.

Please someone do save this poor man.

"hmm?" He replied while fighting off the demons in his body. One eye open to peek that Athanasia was also closing her eyes with a contented smile on her face. Lucas' eyes softened at the sight.

"Do you believe in soulmates...?

Lucas' heart leaped in surprise, his eyes went wide open at the sudden and personal question. He was shifting under the sheets but Athanasia remained her eyes close. She had zero clue to what was she doing to the guy she likes right now.

It took Lucas a while to think of an answer. He managed himself to calm down and sighed again. Out of nervousness, he gulped and let his body relax back on the bed, finding the right answer while still staring at Athanasia. His eyes couldn't leave the beauty in front of him.

"Well..." Lucas cleared his throat, his voice almost like a croak when he tried to whisper in a sweet tone. Athanasia's attempt to make this moment romantic was broken by Lucas who was lying on the bed with her awkwardly. Of all the times that he would be awkward, the universe really picked this moment.

"... I don't know..." Despite being awkward, Lucas managed to answer Athanasia's question. He began to ponder again when Athanasia only hummed as a response. This time Lucas thought of an answer seriously.

And as he stared deeply into Athanasia's features, he found his answer.

"... I don't even know what love is like..." He muttered softly. His hand then find their way to brush off the strands off her face.

All I knew is that I like you...

"... How could I believe in that sort of thing..?" His voice was showing a bit of hesitance but Lucas didn't notice. He continued to be focus on Athanasia.

Athanasia shrugged, letting out an awkward laugh. "I don't know..." Lucas then pinch her cheek as he was in the middle of playing her hair that was still on her face, his gesture made her chuckle, moving her face away from Lucas' hold.

Lucas showed a frown and gently pulled Athanasia back close to him when he noticed how she was almost on the edge. "You're only copying my answer, lady." He commented.

"What am I supposed to say then?" Athanasia retorted with a huff, letting herself get pulled back by Lucas.

Lucas just sighed, ignoring Athanasia's reply. Somehow his hand that was on the latter's waist that made her pull back to him stayed there. "Why is that word even exist, isn't the important thing is that two people love each other?! Romantic or platonic."

Athanasia was now the one frowning, then gently smacked Lucas' chest. "Aish. don't asl me such difficult questions!"

"You started it..." Lucas replied with a scoff.

Lucas noticed how Athanasia's eyes were now on him the whole time the moment they bicker just now. His eyes widened in surprise of how Athanasia got really close to his face compared to earlier. The topic that the latter started lingers in his mind as he stared deeply into her blue eyes that seemed like a galaxy to his perspective. He was in a complete loss and he's not even annoyed by it.

He unintentionally caught a glimpse of Athanasia's lips, but he got himself immediately go back to Athanasia's eyes with red ears.

Soulmates are stupid to Lucas' opinion. They say there is that one person that someday that you would consider special and that made you do anything just for them, even how much of an idiot you were. They could be a family, a friend, a lover, they could anyone in your life that knows you better than anyone else, and no one could dare break that bond no matter how others tried to break it.

They say that soulmates are stronger than love.

That is why Lucas never believed in it.

And now, looking back to everything he had done with Athanasia. No matter how much the universe hates them to be together, somehow, Lucas always finds his way to stand beside the person who had accepted him despite his biggest imperfections.

Believing in such things makes me look like a stupid person...

Lucas' gaze softened on Athanasia's face as he kept on staring in silence. 

But if I have ever a soulmate...

Lucas couldn't help but smile, taking Athanasia by surprise. The latter stared back in wonder, Lucas' smile was everything for her, the sight of it turns her face in a maroon color and her heart was crying to get out and snatch the hell out of Lucas' smile. The way that Lucas was smiling at her made her heart ache. It has never been the first time that Athanasia felt like this towards Lucas. Every time he does something for her that always made her smile, she felt like this, every time he would call her during sleepless nights, she felt like this, every time he takes her home from school, she felt like this.

And if Athanasia would have a soulmate in this world.

I'd have you.

Time passed by and Athanasia fell asleep in Lucas' arms. After all that talk for many hours, it was obvious that Athanasia would end up sleeping tiredly. Lucas chuckled at the sight, he was the only one awake at this hour, too busy to watch the woman that he cared about, now looking peaceful in front of him. Athanasia looking calm made Lucas feel relief in his chest, finally that Athanasia would be back soon with her usual energy.

"The surgery will be successful," Lucas whispered as he caressed his fingers on Athanasia's soft cheek. "I'm sure of that... you have done so well to come this far..."

So brave. Athanasia is.

"Soon, I'll make sure to take care of you... bring you homecooked meals from my mom... drive you home with your favorite coffee already bought... on weekends, we could go and take a short walk on the park, play with the dogs or buy ice cream... at night, we will watch a movie of your pick no matter I know how trashy your taste are..." Lucas began to ramble everything that he would wanted to do right after Athanasia's surgery. He then leaned close to give her a soft kiss on the forehead. "The usual... just as you wanted..."

"But before that... I'd like to tell you something-"

Lucas paused when his hand went over to Athanasia's nose.

No air.

Lucas jolted up, the blanket flew off the bed as he sat up. Athanasia had no reaction. 

"Athanasia...?" Her called. He started to panic when he gently nudged Athanasia's side.

"Hey..."

Silence.

And like a tape suddenly being played from nowhere, the fearful sound of the monitor of Athanasia's lifeline echoed in the room, ringing into Lucas' ears.

Athanasia let's herself go from his grasp.

Without him knowing.

Soulmates have a string that lets them connect together for a lifetime.

"Doctor! Athanasia...! Athanasia is..!"

If that's cut.

You'll have nothing.

Lucas was following the doctor and the nurses as they drag Athanasia's bed out of the room to the Emergency Room. He called for Athanasia's name every second in hopes that she would wake up by the sound of his voice. He doesn't want to let go. He never lets her.

If I ever have a soulmate...

Lucas held Athanasia's hand and kissed the back of it before he was pushed out of the Emergency Room, giving her one last assured look as the doors slowly closed, cutting Lucas' line of sight.

I'd have you too.

He dropped on the floor, kneeling. His hands clasped together in a prayer.

"... So please don't leave me..." He cried.

"Don't leave me again..."

The string was cut off, but Lucas was still holding onto that string. So that when she comes back, he'll come and connect it again for her.

His Anam Cara.

----The last chapter is the next part :')Stay tuned.