4

Ryder

I sipped on my Moscato as I listened to Amir tell Laila and I yet another intriguing story.

He was always so animated in his story telling, arms waving with comical expressions. There was always a deeper meaning, a lesson to be learned. It was entertaining for sure.

When Amir called me up last night to invite me to lunch with Laila and him, I knew I couldn't turn it down.

Amir had taken a liking to me almost off the bat and claimed the universe had simply brought him another daughter.

He was the first, aside from Laila of course, to reach out to me after things ended with Zayn.

I didn't leave my bed the first couple of days after we broke up. I even missed Zayn walking in graduation though I doubt he would've even wanted me there after the way I yelled at him.

There was a knock on my door later that evening and I had assumed it was Laila. I closed my eyes and prayed for her to go away but the knocking continued. I peeled myself from the bed and stumbled to the door, the muscles in my legs going dormant from lack of use.

I still remember the look of shock and sadness in his eyes when he saw me.

We talked for a little while and he tried his best to cheer me up. I was still too deep in it, the break up was so fresh but I'll never forget what he told me.

It was so simple.

"Everything is temporary, Ryder. This pain too will pass, and you will find yourself on the other side of this, transformed."

And he was right.

Everything changed after that break up. I had learned so many things about myself that I wouldn't with Zayn beside me. As much as I loved him, he was a crutch for me.

He was the first person I ever relied on, aside from my parents, and it was nice at first. But at some point, I became a bit too codependent on him.

And it wasn't until he was no longer beside me that I had to tear myself down to build myself back up again. I was stronger for it.

Amir had checked in on every holiday and birthday, insisting I was still part of the family and free to stop by whenever. I always told him I would but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Though Zayn and I had come to terms with things, I no longer felt like I was privy to that family. It was his home, not mine.

"So Ryder, how are things going? How's your mother feeling?" Amir questioned.

I smile warmly.

"She's good, thanks. Things are okay, I suppose. It would be nicer if I could get a job," I reply.

He raised his brows at this and took a sip of his drink. He puts his glass down and exchanges a glance with Laila.

"I thought you had something lined up? That position with Vintech? Something with Marketing right?"

I sigh and shake my head.

"They rescinded the offer though I'm not sure why. Which sucks, I wish I knew what I had done to make them do that."

He looks at me puzzled and sighs himself.

"Rescinded the offer? And didn't even tell you why? Did you ask them? That doesn't sound right," he insists.

"No, it was an email. Thank god I actually checked mine, or I would've showed up on Monday and looked like an idiot. I had passed the background test and everything," I complained.

I finished off my wine and sat back in my seat.

"Not even a courtesy call, so unprofessional," Amir remarks.

"More like fucked up," Laila chimed in.

Amir side eyes her at the profanity and she waves him away.

"Not now dad, it's true. I'm so angry for you Ryder, I would've called them and given them hell," Laila continued.

I shrugged.

"It wouldn't have changed anything."

She laughs dryly.

"Of course it wouldn't have, but you probably would've felt so much better after," Laila retorts and finishes off her glass as well.

Her eyes scan the room for the waiter and she signals him. He's in front of our table only a few minutes later to refill our glasses. I quickly shake my head when he goes to refill mine.

One glass was enough. I had to apply for jobs after this and I wasn't doing that while tipsy.

"So what now?"Amir asks.

"I hope I can find something quick. I mean I have a decent amount in savings but the rent here is so outrageous, it'll drain my savings in the near future if I don't find something soon," I groan bitterly.

"You know I've told you plenty of times in the past, you could always come work for me. It's a family business, your family," Amir offers.

My heart warms at his last words and I smile. The sentiment is sweet.

A family business indeed.

Zayn had worked himself up to his right hand man. Raven was head of marketing and Priya worked in HR. Laila was the only one with zero interest in the company.

"What's the position for if you don't mind me asking?"

"It would be a personal assistant position," he responds.

"Oh for you? What happened to Wanda? I always thought she'd be there till the end," I remark with concern.

Wanda has been his personal assistant for the last fifteen years. I couldn't see him firing her or leaving on her own. Besides, those would be incredibly big shoes to fill.

"Oh nothing happened to Wanda dear. I'm sorry I should've clarified, it's Zayn that needs the assistant. Not me."

My smile falters and I take a moment to pause.

"Oh, I see," I say flatly.

Amir gives me a knowing look.

"I don't know, it sounds like a great idea except for..." I trail off and sigh again.

"It is a great idea, please don't say what I think you're going to say," Laila said.

I ignore her and keep my eyes on Amir.

"Except for what? Zayn? I thought you guys were on good terms," Amir stated.

Laila's eyes watched me inquisitively. I had told her the same though after my reaction to Claire, I know she's not convinced. I mean we were on good terms. We didn't talk much over the past few years but after we got closure that last night I saw him, I figured we were good.

And we are still good. Whatever situation he has going on with Claire just threw me for a loop, that's all.

"No, we are on good terms. We're friendly but I don't think that means he'd want me working with him. Especially not directly beneath him," I reason.

Laila mumbles something crude under her breath and I glare at her. Amir either didn't hear it or chose to ignore it.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind, like you said, you're friendly. You guys haven't been together in years so there's no concern there. You're a friend in need, I'm sure he'd offer the position to you as well if he knew," Amir claimed.

I knew that wasn't true. Zayn's very compassionate and generous but he'd most likely offer to help me find a job at a different company. Not employ me at his own. He was never one to mix business and pleasure.

Not that there's any pleasure there anymore. I sigh again and bite my lip.

"Look, you take the weekend to think about it and let me know by Monday. You can start right away, you'll start just in time to get your first paycheck next week. And if Zayn is your concern, just go have a chat with him yourself. I'm sure he can put your nerves at ease," Amir concludes.

I weigh out the options in my head and slowly nod.

"Sure, I'll think about it and get back to you Sunday night."

He smiles warmly.

We finish up lunch and he takes care of the tab, as per usual. I don't think we've ever paid for a meal when we're out with him.

I decided to walk home to get some fresh air and time to disconnect. I was nervous to approach Zayn about the job. I needed the money and stability but I didn't want to have to go this route. Asking your ex boyfriend if he'll employ you sounds pretty bold. And with the way things got sort of weird at Laila's engagement party, I wasn't sure how he was going to feel about it. Maybe I overreacted, maybe I should've bit my tongue and just smiled and wished him a good night. But it was hard at that moment.

I was overcome with some sadness but mostly envy. The thought of him giving Claire the slightest of attention in that way had my stomach churning. Claire of all people.

I didn't care if Laila said it was nothing more than sex. I knew Claire didn't see it that way. There was always more to it. Some ulterior motive I'm so sure of.

By the time I had made it back to the apartment, my mother was sitting in the living room watching a movie. I placed my bag on the coffee table and plopped on the other end of the couch.

"Hey Ry, how was lunch?" She asked.

I shrug and keep my eyes glued to the tv.

"It was good, I guess," I replied.

I feel her shift to look at me and she tucks her legs under her.

"You guess? What happened?"

I turn to look at her and smile softly.

"Nothing happened, I think I'm just a little tired. I decided to walk home to get some fresh air and it took longer than I anticipated. Lunch was fine, I promise," I offer with sincerity.

She eyes me closely, as if she's trying to gain an insight into what's going on in my head. Her brows are furrowed and she looks so focused that I laugh because it's like looking into a mirror. The reflection is twenty years older and my complexion is darker but everything is alike. It's uncanny.

She smiles and shakes her head.

"What are you laughing about? Is there something on my face?" She asks and runs her hands over her cheeks.

"No, nothing. I'm just tired, like I said. I think I might take a nap actually, if you don't mind," I say with a yawn and sit forward.

"Of course sweetheart, feel free. I'll be here watching movies until it's time to make dinner. I was thinking of a nice stir fry. Is that alright with you?"

"Sounds amazing mom, thank you," I assure her as I rise up from the couch and stretch.

I closed the door behind me lightly and plopped down onto my bed. Sleep was always an escape for me. I needed to shut my brain off for just a little bit. Once I'm feeling rejuvenated, I'll pay Zayn a visit and talk through some things. Laila gave me his new address and it's not far from here. After dinner, I'll sort things out.