Space

Sapnap felt goosebumps go over his arms, and felt his face fall. The words didn't register in his brain, not of fear but of denial. He imagined himself dying, and couldn't. It was something he couldn't physically imagine, but it didn't matter if he couldn't imagine it. Because it happened, some other reality or time he died. That made his skin crawl. 

"What?" He muttered, airily. 

Karl finally stood up to look him in the eye. His face looked fearful, like admitting you lied to someone. 

"I saw you die, both of you," Karl cut his eyes to Quackity. 

Quackity had also felt fearful, he had thought of death once or twice. Then he felt like he dodged a bullet. In some other time he had died. If not for Karl could he not be here? Did Karl save him from actual death?

"How does that even work?" Quackity spit out almost accusatory mixed with fear. 

Karl let out a sharp breath, the thought of re living that moment was horrifying. He thought of the blood that spread through Sapnap's shirt. The way his eyes slowly lost the light that Karl loved so much. His bangs sticking to his face, the way Quackity had showed weakness that Karl had never seen before. 

"It happened, and..." His mind slowly recollected what happened next.

He felt guilty for it, but he missed the way Quackity had his arm around him. His warmth was contagious, the way Karl smelled the substance he had yet to know about. The way Quackity had no shame when Sapnap had kissed both of them. But then he remembered the disappointment on Quackity's face when he found out he had forgotten, again. Meaning he had done that multiple times. If he was honest with himself, that was what scared him the most. 

"What Karl how did I die?" Sapnap asked, already having a seed of how it had happened.

Karl waited for a moment, "Dream for both of you."

Sapnap let that sink in. He knew Dream was a bad person and had done horrible things, but the fact of Dream killing him just made him not mad but emotional. His ex bestfriend had killed him in another time, he would do it in this timeline most likely ,too.

Quackity had barely even spoken to Dream, once they were on the same side. But, besides that nothing except for small glimpses of when he would talk to Shlatt. Their conversations were always confidential, he remembered a time when Shlatt had gotten furious when Quackity had been caught spying on them. He vaguely heard the mention of a book, but besides that nothing.

"I...wow," Sapnap let out, completely stunned, letting his hand run through his black hair.

Quackity let himself fully take in Sapnap, and in that moment wanted nothing more to just hug him and tell him everything would be okay. But, he knew what to do.

"Karl, thank you. I know you did a lot for us, but we need time. To sort through this all, I just-" He let out a sigh, "we need a break," He looked up to meet Karl's eyes.

They were filled with heartbreak. Quackity and Sapnap had been his anchors a key to a home he always wanted. He needed them, they were the only things that felt like he wasn't jumping from time to time for nobody. He was doing it for them, and that's when he realized.

Shit, maybe engagement wasn't so far fetched.

Quackity felt so guilty, but it was true they needed time. No pun intended.

"Okay, I understand," 

Quackity smiled slightly then grabbed Sapnap's elbow and then they were gone. 

Karl's feet felt like they gave out and he slid to the floor. He let out an airy breath and let a hand run through his hair. Then he felt the tears come, they weren't pretty. It felt like voices were just yelling that Sapnap and Quackity were going to leave him. You never know what you have until it's gone. He missed them together, it felt like a lifetime ago since they had just been in each others presence, without conflict.

He wrapped his arms around his stomach he felt so empty. So cold. He missed their arms around him, he missed their smiles. Not the smile that Quackity gave, no. That was disappointment, it felt like he was letting everyone down. 

Once he got his breathing steady he looked around on the floor. It had scattered books on time he had re searched about. He wanted to remember how he had even got this watch, but more importantly how it even worked.

He grabbed his journal and flipped through it to find an empty page. Some pages it felt as if another person had written in it, scratches and pages torn out. But, that was only when Karl pushed himself too much. Sometimes to unconsciousness.

Why was I given this. Sometimes I want more than anything to destroy it like it has destroyed me. But sometimes, it brings good. I've save people lives, changed history hundreds of times. But, in turn I forget. There are some things I don't want to forget, but I also don't understand at all. The other day I accidently went too far into the future. And, I was married. Married to my best friends. Two people who I never imagined like that, but it felt so right. So great. So happy. I don't know maybe it was a mistake.

He closed the journal with a long sigh. 

He let himself close his eyes. His mind exhausted and he didn't know how tired he was until he let his eyes shut close. After a few moments he felt his mind shut off for the first time in awhile. Sleep was his only escape.

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Turns out Quackity and Sapnap needed a longer break than Karl expected. Half of him wanted more than anything to talk to him, but the other half wanted to hide and not face his problems. Before he knew it he had Tubbo knocking on his door. 

He heard the light taps on the door. When he got up he was met with Tubbo's empathetic eyes and soft smile. Karl felt a smile weight lift off of him at the sight. Tubbo had also been worried while they were setting up for the festival Quackity and Sapnap had told Tubbo they weren't talking to Karl. Tubbo didn't push them for answers, but worry filled Tubbo. As much as he knew that Quackity wouldn't admit it they all needed each other, it was clear to everyone that saw them. The unit, the trio.

"Hey," Karl said lightly, letting his shoulder rest on the doorframe. 

"Hey Karl, I came here to invite you to something!" Tubbo said cheerfully.

"Mhm what?"

"A festival, it's to fully celebrate the new L'Manburg and to just have everyone together."

"Oh...everyone?" He added lightly.

Tubbo smiled, he had sort of had an idea what was going on. The three of them didn't act like you would expect a group to act. Regular friends would josh around and have friendly fun, not like the pure light they radiated when they were together. 

"Yeah, they'll be there," 

He didn't need Tubbo to elaborate, he knew well enough. 

"Will they even want to see me?" His voice had gone soft.

Tubbo sucked his lips into a thin line, he let his eyes scan over Karl. A silence had fallen that didn't help Karl's anxiety about the situation.

"Come, and see for yourself." Was all he said.

Karl nodded. 

Tubbo waved and walked away he still had a lot of decorations to put up, he was always busy. Not just physically, but mentally. He had many responsibilities that made it hard for his brain to shut off, many nights he grabbed a cup of tea and sat on his patio. Sipping mindlessly until he saw the sun come up.

Karl let the door close and started to get ready. 

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"Eret! No that's totally unfair you literally stepped on the ice!" Captain Puffy yelled.

They were playing ring toss and currently Eret was in the lead, Puffy was quite competitive. 

"Karl c'mon show them what you've got!"

She had beautiful white curls that fell over her face. She had a blazer over a white button up shirt, her blazer he had seen in books before. Telling the tales of old sailors on quests that he never understood. But, would never ask. He saw the way her eyes would darken when asked about her past.

"Not right now," He gave a fake smile and waved his hand absently. 

Her eyes squinted knowingly, she started for him. He was leaning over the fence watching the games go on. She fell on the fence next to him, giving him a look that made him roll his eyes.

"Mhm someone's cranky."

"I'm not cranky."

"You sure about that lovely?"

He sighed and ignored her.

"I'll keep pestering you until you tell me what's actually going on."

He looked at her, tiredness littered all over his face.

Puffy and him rarely talked, but he had noticed that whenever one of her friends were going through something she would instantly take on this mother personality. He didn't think she even knew she was doing it.

"Quackity, Sapnap, and me haven't been doing the best." Karl admitted quietly. 

"Ha you make it sound like your dating," She said with a laugh.

Karl's whole body felt like it did a screenshot his eyes widening ever so slightly.

She looked over him, her face falling in realization.

"Of course not," Karl spat out.

"Oh my god, I knew you three were close, but wow. I never thought that would happen."

"It's not! You're not helping," Karl looked up to see everyone else moved on from ring toss, "they moved on, you should catch up."

She paused, she didn't think it was this serious. But, she saw the way Karl's whole body looked scared almost at the brief joke of it. The way he looked so exhausted like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

"I'm sorry Karl I didn't think it was this serious, and I know. I want to stay and talk," 

He paused, no one had pushed him to talk like this before. It felt awkward and weirdly comforting at the same time. He thought of how good it would feel to talk about it a little bit. Especially if it was someone like Puffy who would just listen. 

"I just, am really tired Puffy. I keep trying to fix everything but..." He trailed off looking ahead at all the decorations he knew Tubbo hand picked out.

Puffy put a hand on his arm, a soundless gesture telling him 'I'm listening, keep going.'

"Every time I feel like I'm fixing something , I feel like I break something else. It was only a matter of time before...before Sapnap and Quackity left me, I break everything I touch."

He didn't cry, because this wasn't a new feeling. It was something he knew deep in his bones, it was something he was numb to. He felt his shoulders slump and a pit in his stomach grow of embarrassment over what he just said to someone he barely talked to. 

He gasped when Puffy enveloped him in a tight hug. He didn't know how to respond until after a few moments he hesitantly hugged back. He felt tears start to form then fall, god he cried too easily and too much. He clung to Puffy hard, his hands clutching her jacket. 

"Shh, it's okay Karl," She cooed. 

After a minute he felt himself regain control only hiccups coming out. Puffy whispered comforting things only a mother would. Karl missed his mother so much. Her face was always gone in his dreams, having forgotten her long ago. He hated the feeling that his mother was out there somewhere wondering where her baby went. Suddenly gone, no communication.

He let go, she grabbed him by the shoulders. She had a comforting smile on her face, her eyebrows curved with empathy and sadness for him. She wiped his tears to which Karl laughed airily at. He probably looked like a mess, but for some reason he wasn't embarrassed. He felt comfortable, safe in a way he hadn't felt for a long time. 

"Karl you have so much going on in your head. But, you have to realize it's all in your head. I know you Quackity and Sapnap aren't talking, but that doesn't mean they don't care about you. They do, deeply. When they ask for time and space it doesn't mean they don't care for you. They just need time. All you can do is wait until they're ready, okay?" 

Karl looked at her fresh tears starting to spill out again, he nodded. 

She took him into another tight hug, and over her shoulder he saw Quackity and Sapnap. He felt the air leave his chest, he missed them more then he knew. 

- Hello lovlies! It's been way too long, I was busy with finals and school etc. but I really liked how this chapter turned out. I hope you all have a lovely day/night! I'm going to upload the other chapter I wrote tomorrow so keep a eye out for that. Also, Thank you all so so much for 6k reads! It means more than you know to me. Goodbye!