Chapter 6

Jade's POV

I arrived at the coffee shop in about 10 minutes. I looked inside and saw Jed was already here. I walked to his table and sat down opposite to him. He looked up and he looked worried. I must look terrible.

"Hey." I smiled weakly at him. Jed reached out his hand and put it on top of mine's.

"Hey Jade. You alright?" He squeezed my hand and half-smiled at me. I thought about Perrie and tears were running down again. Jed raised his hand and wiped the tears off my face.

"Is it about Perrie?" He asked knowingly. I sniffed and nodded. Yes he knows. He is the only one who knows my feeling for Perrie. And No. We are not actually dating. The truth is, after the Hardrock Cafe incident, I had hope that there maybe a chance that Perrie might feel the same. But then I saw Perrie changed the topic every time when it has been brought up and it shattered my heart. She didn't even want to talk about it so she probably didn't want anything to do with me. I felt so depressed and mad for myself to even thought about the possibility of her loving me back. My heart was broken into million pieces and I didn't know how to be happy around her anymore. That's when I started to hang out with Jed.

I was feeling so upset at that time that I didn't want to be around Perre, cause every time I see her, I died a little more. So when Jed asked me to hang out with him, I agreed instantly. I would do anything to be as far away as possible from Perrie. We kept hanging out everyday and I would be reluctant to go home. Jed knew something was up so he asked me, and that's when I thought I couldn't bottle up my feeling anymore, I had to tell someone. So I broke down and told him everything. I trusted him and I knew he wouldn't tell the girls as they weren't close. That's why I felt my secret was safe with him. He is a really great friend and he kept me company and comforted me when I was down. I didn't know how to get through the heartbreak if he wasn't by my side.

The paps got pictures of us hanging out almost everyday, so they made it a headline of us dating. But both of us knew we were best friends only and nothing more. However, that gave me an idea that I should tell Perrie Jed and I are dating. I knew it sound crazy but it sorta serves as a self-hypnosis to help me hide my feeling for Perrie, and to pretend it's on Jed. And it kinda work. I knew I couldn't keep ignoring her forever and I don't want to. She is my bandmate and she is the one I love.

Jed wasn't really into my idea due to the fact that it would only complicate the situation and he think I shouldn't lie to Perrie. He encouraged me to talk things out with Perrie numerous times, but being the old stubborn me, I didn't listen. Escape is always my first instinct. I know I'm a coward but I just don't have the confidence to deal with things properly without thoughtful preparation both mentally and physically. I would panic at situation like this.

Jed finally agreed so I told Perrie we were dating once I gathered enough courage to talk to her. I couldn't read her emotion, it was just...blank. After that, everything seems to went back to normal. Except sometimes in conversation I had to remind myself I was dating Jed. I didn't ignore her anymore and we were getting closer again. Me and Jed would still hang out to catch up with each other, but not as much as before as I didn't need to avoid Perrie anymore . Every time the paps caught me and Jed together, they would make another romance rumour, but we didn't deny or say anything about it and just let the media said whatever they want. So basically, everyone thought we are dating, which I don't really mind because it made Perrie believe me ever more.

Perrie didn't question my frigid behaviour before and I didn't know whether I should feel happy or not. I was relieved since I didn't have to come up with any excuses anymore but I was kinda disappointed. Did she care about me? But I put away the negative thought momentarily because the most important thing is that we are okay now.

"Jade...Jade..Jade!" I heard Jed calling me and I snapped out of my thought.

"Are you thinking about that again?" Jed implied and I instantly knew what he was talking about. I nodded and sighed.

"Today we are supposed to go shopping. Everything was perfect until...until that memory came back...and I-I..I ignored Perrie again. I can't help it because every time I thought about it, my mind would warn me not to keep my hope up anymore, otherwise I would get hurt again. And my body instantly reacted and pulled back from her. I felt horrible because I knew she was hurt and she didn't have a clue why I reacted like this. I don't know what to do...." I put my hands up to my face and cried.

"Jade why you let it haunt you again? You have been doing so well. I thought it didn't bother you anymore..." Jed's voice was full of concern.

"I...I don't know. Maybe my mind was busy occupying with the tour in the past few months so it kept my mind off it. But now the tour was over and I see her nearly 24/7. I could not stop thinking about her..." I buried my face deeper in my hands if it was possible.

"Jade...I think it might be the time for you to tell her everything. Are you going to ignore her again and let her cry over something she didn't know? It's like a vicious circle and it's hurting the both of you. This bad memory would keep haunting you until you talk thing out with Perrie." Jed took my hands out of my face and looked at me sternly.

"But...but that means I have to c-confess my feeling to her...I-I can't do that! She doesn't like me like that. She would hate me!" I put my hands back to my face and started crying again. I couldn't bear the thought of her hating me. She is my everything and I can't lose her.

Jed walked over and pull me into a hug. "Shh...everything would be fine. Even though I don't know Perrie very well. But from what you have told me, she loves you. Even if she doesn't love you in the same way you do, she would never hate you. And don't you think you have kinda lost her in a way by ignoring her? I know it kills you to keep your distance from her, and I know she feels the same way too. So stop treating her like she doesn't exist, treat her in a way your heart always wants. Maybe things are not as bad as you think. You never know if you didn't try" Jed cooed and softly rubbing my back. My body started to calm down and my mind kept thinking about what he said. Maybe it's time. It's the time I have to take a leap of faith and stop escaping from my feeling anymore.

Perrie's POV

I turned the key and walked into Jade and I's home. Jade. The thought of her alone hurts me. It used to be happiness. Now all I get is pain. Why? Why she treated me like this? Why she won't tell me what I have done wrong? Why didn't she give me the chance to make thing right? Why she left to meet Jed when she promised to spend time with me? Thousands questions were in my mind and tears started running down my face again. My eyes were in pain but I couldn't stop bawling my eyes out, as the pain in my heart was so much stronger.

When no more tear could come out anymore, I gathered myself and walked into the bathroom. I looked horrible. My eyes were all puffy and red and my make-up were smudged. I washed my face and went to my bedroom to get some clothes. I changed into an oversized Olaf T-shirt and shorts, and went to my bed. Sleeping is the best way to let my mind rest. I closed my eyes and my arms were immediately searching for another warm body...I guessed I had already getting used of having Jade beside me and wrapped my arms around her. Now it is just emptiness. I was a crying mess again...and I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep when I was too tired to cry anymore.

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I slowly waking up. I opened my eyes and saw its already dark. I looked at the time and it's 7pm. My stomach rumbled and I realized I didn't eat anything since morning. I pick up my phone and ordered some Chinese. I wasn't in the mood of cooking and Jade said we were running out of food. Jade.

I finished ordering the food and lay down on my bed again. My mind was full of Jade again, like always. I missed her already and it was just hours away from her. I missed her beautiful face, her adorable giggle, her hand in mine, her body warmth, her everything.

I looked around my room randomly and my gaze locked at one thing. My guitar. I don't always play it but now I want to. I got up and pick up the guitar. I started playing and singing the first song that came to my mind.

https://youtu.be/m-nCLLnQA5c

Do ya... do you think about me?And do ya... do you feel the same way? YeahAnd do ya... do you remember how we felt?'Cause I do. So listen to me, baby.And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, baby,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? YeahAnd do ya... do you think about me at all?And do you... do you feel the same way?Oh, tell me, babe.And do ya... do you remember how we felt?'Cause I do. So listen to me now. Oh ohAnd I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?And I'm not tryna ruin your happiness, baby,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one?Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Whoa oh ohAnd I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?And I don't wanna, I don't wanna ruin your happiness, baby,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? YeahOh oh do I ever said-ah... do I ever said-ah... do I?Do I ever said-ah... do I ever said-ah? Oh oh oh ohDo I ever... do I ever cross your mind?Not tryna ruin your happiness at all.

Jade's POV

I was now taking a taxi back to my flat and my heart was beating fiercely. Finally it's time to confess my feeling to her. But what if....I tried to block out all the negative thought on my mind. I have to do it. It's now or never. The taxi stopped and I got out before mentally preparing myself. I got this. Let's do this.

I took my key out of my purse and insert it into the keyhole. I took a deep breath and turned the key. I opened the door and see it's pitch dark inside. Is she back? I walked inside, took off my hat and put down my purse. I looked around but I couldn't find Perrie. Then I heard a faint sound upstairs. I walked upstairs and saw a light creeping through Perrie's bedroom door.

I looked inside and saw Perrie was sitting on her bed singing and playing her guitar. She does not play her guitar very often, just sometimes when we were doing songwriting or when I pulled out my puppy dog eyes begging her to play for me. She think she was not good at playing guitar so she was not confident to play it in front of people. But to me she is the best guitar player and singer I have ever seen.

Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Do I ever cross your mind?Whoa oh ohAnd I'm not tryna ruin your happiness,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one for ya?And I don't wanna, I don't wanna ruin your happiness, baby,But darling, don't you know that I'm the only one? YeahOh oh do I ever said-ah... do I ever said-ah... do I?Do I ever said-ah... do I ever said-ah? Oh oh oh ohDo I ever... do I ever cross your mind?Not tryna ruin your happiness at all.

I felt tears running down my face. That...was beautiful. She sang it with so much passion it's like she was singing to someone she loves. I hope it is me. But instead I think I am the person who ruins her happiness. I shook my head. I need to make things right. I need to make her happy again. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. My eyes were locked with the pair of beautiful blue eyes that I love so much. The only difference was, they are all red now.

A/N I think you all know what is going to happen next:) But you have to wait for next chapter (evil laugh)