Chapter Sixteen

Over the next few days, I throw myself into training all aspects of this new side of my quirk and I try to focus on avoiding both of the men in my life. At this point, I know my radio silence must be confusing to Todoroki, but how can I look at him after feeling like I might combust at the sight of Bakugo? How can I pretend that didn't happen? For a while, focusing on my abilities is a fitting way to avoid everything but today, it's harder. Today's our day off.

After a few hours in my room, trying to prevent any accidental run-ins, hunger finally wins and I start for the kitchen, eyes peeled for any sightings. I successfully manage to get downstairs without incident and almost even feel victorious when a voice stops me in my tracks.

"Kaida?" I freeze at the edge of the kitchen, eyes wide and chest aching.

"Dad?" I breathe, seeing him standing there with Aizawa. I look between them, eyes stinging with unshed tears. Seeing my father here reminds me of all that's happened since we arrived... me and Shiori... the memories of mom. For the first time since I was a little girl, I begin to cry, racing into my father's arms and losing myself in my tears. My father hugs me back and for a moment, I can pretend that he's just the same way he used to be. My personal hero growing up who always brushed off scraped knees and encouraged me to the most vibrant person I could be. The father who could be strong for his family.

"What is it?" he asks softly, face full of worry when I pull away. He wipes my cheek with his thumb and makes a face, kind of like the ones he used to make after I'd get in fights at school. The face that's ready to listen. So I talk. My father and I sit and I tell him all about how much pressure I've been under here and all the trouble I've gotten myself into. I tell him about the new developments with my quirk and the new ring of villains we're trying to investigate. I tell him almost everything... except for why I'm really crying.

"I saw Shiori earlier" he tells me after some time, eyes examining my face as he says it. My face doesn't change though. Long gone are the tears from the moment he first got here, instead, I shrug, offering him a tired glance.

"Yeah? What'd she say?" I wonder and he sighs heavily. I frown. I can smell the spearmint on his breath and I can tell he's trying, but he's been drinking again. Even spearmint can't hide the smell of sake.

"She wouldn't say much... but I can tell she's upset. Why aren't the two of you together?" he asks, expression pleading. My gut twists and just like always, I know what I have to do. I swallow the truth and put on my best smile, grabbing Dad's hand reassuringly.

"It's nothing, papa. Shiori's got a lot on her plate too with hero training and she and I decided we needed to learn separately for a while. Neither of us can be the best if we're always relying on each other, right?" I lie, grinning like it's the most natural thing in the world. Dad relaxes visibly and smiles back, eyes betraying just how fragile he is now.

"You girls worry me... you know your mother would never want you to be apart" he says and the comment feels like a slap. I smile through it anyway, knowing he means well.

"I know, dad" I murmur, releasing his hand.

"Hey, Kaida!" Bakugo's irritated voice interrupts as he rounds the corner. I jump, eyes widening when I see him and he halts where he is, looking between my father and me. Damn it.

"Um..."

"Hello! I'm Ito, Akio" my father introduces himself, unable to perceive even the slightest amount of tension. I stiffen as Bakugo enters the kitchen and bows his head in greeting.

"Nice to meet you" he says, surprising me a bit with his sudden manners.

"Please, sit with us. You're a friend of Kaida's?" Dad asks, smiling warmly. Mortification washes over me. No. Please, no.

"He's actually really busy, dad, maybe later we..."

"Yeah, we're friends" Bakugo interrupts, taking the seat next to mine. I gape at him, unsure how to proceed. What is he doing?

"It's nice to finally meet some of Kaida's friends. She doesn't have many" my father sighs and my face flushes. Oh my GOD. Bakugo smirks.

"She's got an abrasive personality" he explains, as if my father doesn't know me. I want to die of embarrassment.

"This is not fun" I say, earning a laugh from my dad.

"Don't be so embarrassed, Kaida. He seems like a nice boy" he tells me and I narrow my eyes.

"Yeah, Kaida. I'm a nice boy" Bakugo echoes. When I look at him though, his expression is the opposite of nice. His eyes are furious. I stiffen again, looking away from him. What the hell is that for?

"What does Shiori think of him?" Dad asks me suddenly, a knowing smile on his face. I blanch, afraid of what Bakugo might say.

"They're very close, you know" he adds, giving Bakugo a look. I look at him too, this time panicking. My father can't know we're arguing. He can't. Bakugo looks back at me for a moment, face expressionless. Please, Bakugo... if I never ask you for anything again... please...

"She doesn't like me much" he says finally, looking back at my father with a dull expression. Dad laughs, nodding his head and I deflate, so relieved I could almost cry again.

"That's my Shiori. Very skeptical of newcomers" he chuckles and it feels like a wound being reopened. I smile the best I can but it makes me ache for my sister. My family. Dad stays for a while after that and Bakugo decides to tag along despite my best efforts to get the hint across. When my father finally does decide to leave, I hug him goodbye and wave as he takes off for our grandfather's house.

"Thanks for lying for me" I say quietly once Dad's out of earshot. Bakugo shrugs, not looking at me.

"Figured you had your reasons" he tells me and I scoff, lump still in my throat.

"Yeah. I do" I confirm and after a minute, the two of us turn to head back into the building.

"Wanna tell me why you've been avoiding me like the plague?" he asks as we climb the stairs. I roll my eyes, about to tell him that it's none of his business, when I see Todoroki at the door, eyes wide on mine. My face flushes instantly and that same guilty feeling rolls over me. He looks between Bakugo and I and the feeling worsens.

"Todoroki..." I start but his face falls right back into that same old stoic expression before he turns and starts walking away.

"Kaida, wait" Bakugo says, reaching for my arm, but in that moment, I make my choice. I ignore him, dashing after Todoroki into the dorm building and catching up to him in the hall.

"Wait, please!" I call after him, finally getting close enough to grab his arm and stop him. He turns to face me, a cold look on his face.

"Is that why you've been ignoring me?" he wonders, his tone implying curiosity but his eyes betraying his anger and his hurt. I swallow hard.

"No... I'm... I'm sorry, Todoroki, it wasn't you... I..." I sigh, shaking my head. How do I even explain it?

"So what was it?" he quips and I feel like I'm being reprimanded. Maybe in other circumstances, he wouldn't be so harsh, but the night we had followed up by days of silence? Of course he's upset.

"I'm sorry. I should've said something... but I was scared. I was scared of how I was feeling, about you, about my sister... about everything. And I got confused... and worried... I couldn't face you" I admit, telling him only part of the truth. I can't bring myself to tell him that I was feeling guilty over thoughts I don't even know I was really thinking. He's quiet for a minute, examining my face.

"What happened that made you so scared of those things?" he asks and I tense, at first thinking he means with Bakugo, but after a minute, I realize he doesn't know really why I am the way I am. What happened to our mom. I only ever told Bakugo all of that. I look down, really wishing that this didn't have to happen right after the emotional chore that is keeping my father sane.

"My mom was murdered just over a year ago... after that, Shiori was really the only person I had left. Her leaving... and us fighting? I guess it made me feel like you can't even trust the people that are supposed to love you. So when we were getting closer... I got spooked" I reply. It's not a complete lie, but it still feels sour to say. Todoroki looks away from me a moment, trying to gather his composure, and for a moment, I really think he's going to walk away from me again. Instead, he grabs me, pulling me into a hug and squeezing me tight. My eyes widen as he cradles my head against his shoulder and my face flushes when I realize we're still in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm sorry" he murmurs. It makes me feel even worse. I push away from him, hating the way his face has returned to the caring and gentle expression I've come to admire. I wince.

"There's something else" I blurt, hating even more that I couldn't just let it go.

"What's wrong?" he murmurs, still concerned. I look at him, chest aching again.

"I couldn't face you... because I thought I was having feelings for someone else" I admit. His face goes from concerned to shocked and the expression pushes me to rush to explain.

"It wasn't intentional. I don't even think it was real, I just... I was helping Bakugo after he got hurt and he got so close to me... I felt like he might kiss me and I got nervous. So I've been too ashamed to face you because of it" I say finally, feeling stupid. Todoroki pauses thoughtfully for a moment then eyes me carefully.

"You got nervous?" he asks and the question makes me squirm.

"Yes" I mutter. God this feels like torture.

"I'd probably be nervous too, if Bakugo got close to me" he says finally. I stare at him, unsure how to take this.

"What do you mean?" I ask and Todoroki smiles affectionately, a bit of humor in his eyes.

"You were worried about that? The fact that you were worried about something so small... you're amazing. Of course you were nervous, those are normal responses to being close to anyone. That is, unless... being close to him felt similar... to this" he murmurs, gently trailing his fingers down the side of my face. My heart ignites instantly and a sweet chill runs up my spine. I shake my head. I don't feel any guilt or uncertainty when Todoroki's touching me.

"No" I tell him in a low voice, unable to take my eyes off of his. He smiles a bit, pulling me after him.

"Come on" he says and I follow him back to his room. My heart races. I've never been to his room before and the thought of it makes my whole body feel like it's on the verge of exploding. He pulls me inside, hastily shutting the door behind us and pressing me up against it, leaning in to kiss me. I suck in a surprised breath, kissing him back and bringing my arms up to wind around his neck.

"I just wanted to be alone for a moment" he admits to me, pulling away just far enough that I can see his eyes. I nod, a small smile on my lips.

"I'm okay with that" I breathe, kissing him again and relishing in the closeness of him. His scent, his warmth, the softness of his hair. He pulls away again for a moment, a different sort of smile on his face.

"I missed you" he tells me, partly teasing and partly honest. I drag my hands down over his chest and try not to blush though I know I can't help it.

"I missed you too" I murmur, staring up at him through my lashes. He shakes his head.

"That look on your face..." he begins, but before he finishes, he buries me in another kiss. I laugh against his mouth, pulling myself in closer.

"How did you get better at this?" I mumble between kisses and he laughs, pulling away as his cheeks fill with color.

"I, ah..." he chuckles and I can tell he doesn't know how to reply. I grin, grabbing his hands and lacing my fingers through his.

"Thanks, by the way" I tell him. He looks at me finally, eyebrows raised curiously.

"For what?" he wonders and my heart warms.

"For being so understanding... I don't know what I would've done" I admit, unable to stop myself from staring. His eyes widen at my expression, but I can't help it.

"If you never spoke to me again..." I add, pulling him closer. He looks down at me again and I can tell we're both completely consumed. Maybe that's what adults talk about all the time when they talk about puppy love, but I hope this doesn't end. I hope I spend a long time never being able to get enough of him.

"I can't see that ever happening" he says, nose grazing mine. I smile, feeling truly happy for the first time in a while.

"Good" I whisper and he kisses me again, hands firm on my waist. Todoroki may not have really had this kind of relationship before, but he's an expert kisser. I don't know how he got there, but I don't want to know. All I want to do is kiss him until I can't breathe anymore.

"Todoroki..." I say, breaking the make out session. He steps back a bit, tilting his head.

"Shoto" he replies and I blink.

"What?"

"Shoto... I liked when you called me that" he tells me. My face heats furiously and my heart goes wild. I didn't think anyone would ever have such an effect on me, but standing here with him, I feel completely intoxicated by our moment.

"Shoto" I repeat and he grins. I smile back at him, feeling almost whole. Still even while Shoto and I are stealing these moments together before bed, an insistent and gnawing feeling persists in my gut. A feeling that won't stop demanding that I still haven't been one hundred percent honest. Not even with myself