Chapter Fifteen

The next day during my training, I'm surprised to find myself distracted. Training has always been the one thing that could bring me completely out of my head. Even after my mother was killed, I'd spend hours on the training grounds at our old school, throwing myself into new attacks and defensive positions. I used to train with anyone who'd give me the time of day but today...

"Kaida! Focus!" Endeavor scolds. I roll out of the way of an enormous blast at the last second, eyes wide and adrenaline pumping.

"What the hell? Are you trying to kill me?!" I snap, standing back up. Endeavor gives me his signature glower and I return it full force.

"You wouldn't have so many close calls if your mind wasn't somewhere else. You need to pay attention here" he commands, not letting up for a minute. I grit my teeth, wanting so badly to tell him that he's full of shit, but I can't. Honestly, every time I try to lose myself in the session, I find myself remembering Todoroki's kiss... the ice... I smile to myself.

"KAIDA!" Endeavor bellows, so intensely irritated that a small vein on his forehead is bulging out with a pulse of its own. I make a face.

"Yikes, grandpa. Did you take your blood pressure medicine?" I ask and I swear his eyes go completely white with rage.

"Train. NOW!" he orders. I throw my hands up in surrender and get back on the mat, taking stance. Ever since my little stunt, I've been prohibited from patrolling without Endeavor personally on my case and today, he decided I needed some training instead. Having to give up time with Todoroki didn't seem worth it, but now that I know my memories are so vivid, I almost feel like he's still here anyway.

"I can't imagine what would be so thought consuming" he growls, right hand filling with flames. I almost smirk. If only he knew. He launches the fire at me and I dodge expertly, huffing as I hit the mat and roll to a stop. He attacks again and I launch myself forward, racing around the edge of it to try and find a better vantage point.

"Pay attention!" he warns, blasting more fire balls my way. I grunt with the effort, trying to dodge every attack seamlessly, but I falter, wondering if Todoroki's this relentless with his fire quirk. I trip up, gasping when the heat from the flames brushes uncomfortably against my cheek and dissipates against the wall behind me. Suddenly flames surround me, backing me against the same wall and pressing in, threatening to fry me. I scowl up at Endeavor, refusing to show fear.

"What the hell?!" I bark, but he isn't fazed. He wears the same sharp and irritated expression as he walks towards me. The flames don't subside and my heart slams against my ribcage. What's the deal? What's he doing?

"How do you think this is going to go, Kaida?" he asks darkly. I swallow hard, adrenaline skyrocketing.

"Do you think distractions will serve you well in the real world? When you're out there facing real villains, do you think they're going to go easy on you? Demand your full attention before attacking?" he adds. The flames inch closer to me on all sides, so close that I can feel the heat already making me sweat.

"That's enough" I try, but my voice is low and I can hear the uncertainty behind it. Damn it.

"This is easy. This is a luxury no villain will ever give you" he informs me, clenching his fist. Now the fire is so close that if I move even an inch, I'll burn. My heart thunders rapidly and I can feel the panic starting to set in. He's not kidding, and the look on his face is enough to terrify. The fear instantly turns to rage, my whole body shaking with the anger at being under anyone's thumb.

"I said, that's enough!" I snarl and suddenly the flames blow out. Rapid energy pours from me without effort and I watch in shock as Endeavor gets thrown backwards, body twitching as if he's being hit a hundred times in a minute. He falls to his knees and my whole body slumps, a weird feeling coming over me... a feeling like... energy? Endeavor looks up at me with surprise, eyes wide.

"What was that?!" he demands, a little too forcefully. I flinch, making another face.

"I don't know! It just sorta... came out of me! I didn't do it" I insist, but he shakes his head and stands up immediately.

"Kaida, that was more powerful than anything you've thrown at me before. How do you feel?" he demands, grabbing my jaw and tilting my head side to side painfully.

"Ow" I mumble through squished cheeks and he narrows his eyes at me.

"You're not showing any signs of your usual fatigue. Do you feel anything?" he demands again and, honestly, I don't feel anything. I shake my head, a dangerous hope budding in my chest.

"I... I feel fine" I reply and a strange look grows on his face. Jesus, is that what excitement looks like for him? It's an oddly terrifying expression.

"Do you remember how you did it?" he inquires, a sense of urgency in his voice. I shake my head, trying to remember what exactly happened, but... I just felt it. I felt my anger explode and my heart thrumming so fast I thought it might burst. Then, without any effort or thought, my body just released energy all on its own.

"It just happened... I was pissed off at you for trying to scare me" I mumble, my hope starting to plateau. Maybe it was just a fluke, after all, it's not like I used up a whole ton of my quirk just now. Right?

"I need you to try something" Endeavor says suddenly, walking away from me and bracing himself on the opposite side of the room. I don't know what's coming next, but I try to relax, opening myself up to any suggestions.

"Think back to the first time you ever used your quirk. What was it like? How did it feel?" he asks. I clench my jaw but I do as he says, thinking back to that day with my mom...

Kaida! How many times have I told you not to get into that? Put it away!

No!

Don't tell me no. Do it, now!

I don't want to!

Kaida! You're making mommy very upset. Now, get up, and...

NO!

It was such a simple argument and I was still just a kid. Mom had no idea that I'd been getting picked on at school while dad was away... no idea the kinds of things stupid kids made me believe. I didn't know anything then... I remember how sad I was. Thinking I'd never see my father again, that my mother was lying to me... my chest ached. I just wanted everything and everyone to go away. The first pulse felt like an extension of myself, like a heartbeat, thrumming out of me at a steady pace. The force of it so powerful that I don't remember anything after that... just waking up in a hospital bed.

"It felt... natural" I tell him quietly. How I still feel guilty for something that happened so long ago, I don't know, but the feeling burns through me anyway. That memory has always served as proof of how dangerous I can be. How violent. Endeavor nods, still eyeing me with scrutiny.

"When you use your quirk now, what do you do?" he asks and I sigh, trying to think about it.

"I have to focus on drawing it up out of me... like a well of energy. I can draw from it and pull it in different directions, make it do whatever I want until it runs dry" I answer. He purses his lips thoughtfully.

"That's the problem. You're constantly trying to run the well dry... but what if it's not a well?" he suggests. The theory seems outlandish at first, but part of me wants to know what he sees.

"What do you mean?" I ask and he begins to pace, something I've never really seen him do before.

"All this time you've been almost intentionally activating your quirk to use it. Going within yourself to yank it out and use it against your enemy. What if that's not the way your quirk works? What if it doesn't have to take such a physical toll every time you use it?" he ponders, mostly to himself. I shake my head.

"If my quirk doesn't work that way, then how am I able to use it so effectively?" I ask and he gives me a look, a look that says he's on the verge of something.

"Because you're close. So close that it's almost the same thing. Your quirk is definitely aptly named, a pulse of energy... hm..." he pauses, his expression warring between revelation and frustration.

"Try something" he says suddenly again. I straighten up, waiting for instruction a bit doubtfully.

"Don't think. Don't force your energy out. Don't even focus too hard. Instead, I'm going to throw an attack at you and, without dodging, I want you to let your quirk come out on its own" he says. I gape.

"What does that even mean? It doesn't come out on its own!" I argue. Endeavor shuts me up with a look, motioning to where I need to stand. I sigh and do as I'm told, positive I'm going to regret this.

"I have a sense that you're experiencing some of the same difficulties Shoto did before he allowed himself to use his fire quirk. He was half himself, half the hero he wanted to be, and his raw talent with ice still wasn't enough. But when he stopped trying to suppress himself, that was when he was able to reach his full potential" he tells me. I blink at him. This is not the same thing.

"But I haven't been trying to suppress myself..." I protest, receiving the same look again.

"Humor me" he says and I sigh, letting myself relax. Here goes nothing. Endeavor amps up the heat, creating a bigger fire ball than I'm used to, and rears back to launch it. My eyes widen, heart beating hard. He wants me to do nothing? What if he's wrong? The thought of it makes my stomach drop, but I know I need to trust him. I chose him as my mentor for a reason and he chose to train me for a reason too. I need to prove myself worthy of that. I ready myself as he pulls his arm back and I gasp when he launches the fire straight towards me. Not above my head, not at the ground or on either side, but directly at me. Shock radiates through my body and I force myself to remain calm, focusing on my heartbeat. Calm... calm... come on... I feel it all at once, in rhythm with my heartbeat, my pulse shoots out of me easily, dissipating the giant ball of flame less than a foot away from me. My jaw drops, relief making me feel like laughing.

"It worked... it worked!" I cheer, elation making me feel like soaring. My quirk... I pat myself down, impressed by the lack of exhaustion, headaches, or pain. I'm really fine... I beam at Endeavor, so thrilled that even he can't dampen the mood. He doesn't share my distraction though and already has another fireball aimed in my direction.

"We're not done training" he orders, blasting at me yet again. I yelp, getting back into the rhythm of training now that I've got something to work on. Endeavor's right. Now that I have the chance to figure out my quirk, I can't waste any time. This is how I become the best.

____________

After training for the day, Todoroki offers to walk me home and I agree happily, walking side by side the whole way and talking about our respective days. I tell him about my new discovery with my quirk and he talks to me about a new possible lead on his father's investigation when we see Bakugo heading back. He looks exhausted, still in uniform, and even from here I can see the blood on his face. Worry strikes me full force in the gut and I know I can't ignore it.

"Hey, Todoroki I'm sorry... can I meet you back at the dorms?" I ask suddenly. After the way Bakugo took me off the field, I can't let him walk away like this. Not alone. Todoroki looks up in surprise, concern coloring his gaze.

"Is everything alright?" he wonders and I give him a reassuring smile.

"Everything's fine... I'll see you soon?" I insist. He hesitates, but nods, squeezing my hand before taking off alone. Once he's gone, I rush over to Bakugo who's walking listlessly back to the agency, body seemingly destroyed. Even some of his uniform is tattered and dirty.

"Bakugo, hey..." I start but he stops me short, slumping forward and landing with his head on my shoulder.

"Hey..." he breathes, but his voice is weak. The sound of it ignites a sense of urgency within me, making it easier to ignore the feel of his breath on my neck or the way his eyes met mine just moments ago like I was the one he's been looking for.

"What happened? Bakugo? Are you okay?" I demand, pushing him to stand up straight while I try to get a good look at his face. His eyes seem to droop like he might fall asleep standing up, so I snatch off his mask to get a better look.

"Hey!" he complains, but when he opens his eyes again, it's almost like he really sees me. He goes completely quiet and still for a moment, gaze lingering on mine tiredly. He looks awful, face fatigued, lip and nose bleeding, and body damn near sagging in the street.

"Come on" I command, anger burning through me. How could he be so stupid? Not just to get himself hurt, but to walk back alone? The thought of it makes me want to scream. Instead, I grab his hand and yank him after me, pissed that I've gotta spend another second at the agency when all I wanted to do was go home.

"Hey! I don't need your help!" he barks, snatching his hand back from me. I glower, turning back around so fast that even Bakugo jumps, shocked at the fury on my face.

"Bakugo, if you don't get your ass to that agency right now and let me help you, I will beat the ever loving shit out of you in the middle of this street. Got it?" I snap, almost proud of the look it gets out of him. After a few moments, he just nods grumpily, eyes watching me the whole time. Satisfied, I turn back around and allow him to lead the way into the building before dragging him into the bathroom.

"Sit" I order, busying myself with towels at the sink while he does as I ask and takes a seat on a bench in front of the showers.

"I don't need help" he reiterates, but he sounds even more exhausted than he looks and he doesn't fight me as I start pulling off his gloves and gauntlets.

"Yeah, yeah, I know" I mutter, setting them aside along with his head piece and metal neck gear.

"You shouldn't..." he starts. I roll my eyes, pushing his head back to get a better look at his wounds and ignoring his responding wince.

"Shut up" I reply. Surprisingly, he complies instantly, staring at me through heavy lidded eyes while I start to wipe the blood off his face.

"What happened?" I ask after a few minutes, trying to ignore how close together we are. After all, I'm with Todoroki now. Or at least, I think I might be? We didn't exactly make it official... but after last night, wouldn't anyone assume we were?

"It's nothing I can't just walk off. We just ended up against more people than we thought... we handled it. It just... took a lot out of me" Bakugo admits and it startles me a little to hear him being so bold about something going wrong. He's usually too proud.

"Guess you're lucky I'm the one who found you" I reply, trying not to draw attention to it. He scoffs, moving his head in the process. On instinct, I catch his chin, my thumb pressing against his lower lip and my eyes widen, face heating. Bakugo looks surprised himself, eyes trailing down to my mouth before making their way back up to my eyes.

"Yeah..." he agrees gruffly. I release him instantly, straightening up and trying to calm myself down. What the hell? Why is he always looking at me like that? It's frustrating.

"I need more towels" I say quickly, grabbing the ones I've already used and tossing them into the trash can before gathering a couple new ones and wetting them in the sink. Once I've collected myself, I return to the bench to see Bakugo waiting for me, more patient than maybe I've ever seen him. I swallow.

"Tilt your head back" I tell him, trying to avoid jerking his head around again. He does so silently, watching me again as I finish up. I try to avoid his gaze, but I can still feel his eyes on me. Unashamed and bold. It makes my hands shake just slightly.

"Y-you're done" I mumble and he stands up, one of his hands at my waist. I gasp, startled by how close we are now, him looking down at me, only a few inches away. I don't know what he's thinking or how he got there, but I do know the look in his piercing red eyes.

"T-Todoroki..." I say suddenly, guilt overwhelming me at the sudden speed of my heart. Bakugo's expression changes and he pulls away from me immediately, retrieving the rest of his hero uniform from the bench where he was sitting.

"Thanks" he mutters, taking his stuff and leaving the bathroom without another word. I drop onto the bench as soon as he's gone, trying to catch my breath and understand. What the hell was that? And why was I so flustered by it? Bakugo's pretty good at playing games and this one's no different. He's toying with me and I'm letting him upset me and make me feel guilt over something that doesn't even exist. Right? I groan, burying my face in my hands. What the hell am I doing?