Chapter Seven

[Cry Baby.]

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. Jerry sits nervously in the waiting room, fiddling with his sleeves. He wears a toad green pull over on top of a plain white button-shirt, a beige suit jacket to keep him warm and dark grey suit pants, black loafers to pull it all together. He feels different, a sense of safety wearing these clothes, but this doesn't help with his anxieties. He wonder how he would ruin things this time, wondering if he would seem too unenthusiastic, or perhaps they've found someone better just before his interview. He frowns, What am I doing here? He asks himself, being pulled from reality when hearing his name be called about three times. He stands and moves to the meeting room, closing the door behind himself. Alone in the room with the manager, Lucille, he moves towards the chair set in front of the desk.

"So, Jerry, is it?" She asks, tone harsh and raspy. He nods, clearing his throat.

"Y-yes, Jerry Smith." He responds, observing the office from where he sits - trophies littering the walls and medallions hanging beside them, photographs framed of her winning these awards. He moves his eyes to the desk quickly, ashamed he couldn't have any sort of award like she does. His eyes fall onto a framed photo propped on the desk, of her and her family - a man, two children and herself. They look so happy... He stares at their smiles, far too genuine than he has ever seen a family smile. He looks up at Lucille, his slight sense of confidence vanished. She asks him a few questions, Jerry slowly becoming more nervous and half-hearted. I shouldn't be here... He thinks to himself, what is he doing there? He surely doesn't have the skill to work there, let alone looks like he could.

"Okay then," Lucille bites her lip slightly, leaving the thin resume to the side as she looks at Jerry with her hands intertwined. "What, do you think, would you contribute to the company?" She asks, Jerry gulps softly, anxiety taking over his body. Nothing. He takes a deep breath.

"Well... I'd be a good worker." He says in a quivering voice, the interviewer hums, dissatisfaction on her face. "And-..." He cuts himself off, he hates this. He sees slight pity in Lucille's green eyes, which only makes him feel worse. You act like prey, but you're a predator, you use pity to lure in your victims. That's how you survive! Rick's voice rings in his ears. He doesn't want to get the job by making the interviewer feel bad for him. He knows for sure he's not getting the job if he had another meltdown. He hardly remembers everything Richard had said to him, but he vividly remembers the parts he spoke of him, it sticks with him wherever he goes, burned into his scalp.

And you survive because people think, 'Oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break.'

Jerry tries explaining more of what he could do, but he could only speak in stammers, tears in his eyes.

'I can't stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul. I guess I'll hire him or marry him.'

Jerry shakes his head and stands, throat tightening. "I-I have to go." He says, voice shaking, before he rushes out of the room, running towards the elevator as he tries holding himself together. Finally at the bottom floor, he runs out with his briefcase, the tears built up in his eyes overflowing. He takes a seat on a bench beside the parking lot, head in hands. He wanted to wait until he got home, but he couldn't hold back. Abashed, he tries stifling his sobs, though no matter how hard he tries, he continues to weep, shaking. His life is falling apart before him, and he's the cause of it, that's how he feels at least. His wife doesn't love him, children hardly ever happy to be around him, and his father-in-law, he despises him, aggravated by his mere existence.

All the times he had been terrible to him, the times he had insulted him, they run through his mind, an endless loop. Hundreds of Rick's stand before him, pointing and jeering at him. "Screwed up another interview?! Like we even had faith for ya!" He shields his eyes from them, but he still knows they're there.

"Get a job!"

"Stop wasting his time! You're just a piece of shit, Jerry! Sm-smelly ol' shit."

Jerry sobs out louder, a few pedestrians walking through the imaginary Ricks projected from his mind, they don't bat an eye to him, a woman pulling her child when he tries to stop to look at him.

"Beth only got back with you, cause she didn't want to be lonely, idiot!"

"You ruined my daughter's life by shooting 20 ccs of liquid dream-killer into her!"

"She was Rick's daughter, Jerry! She had options!"

"Jer?" Kurtis' voice calls out, soft and sweet. He sits next to Jerry, who throws himself at him, crying into his neck. "Oh, buddy..." He rubs his back, sighing softly. "Let's get you home, okay?"

"I don't want to go home, Kurtis, I hate going home..." Jerry mumbles, clinging to the farmer's overalls. The man hesitantly helps him up, picking him up. "Kurtis-"

"It's fine, I'm taking you to my place again." He tells him, concern on his face as he takes the suitcase and proceeds to the truck, "And we're going to have some ice cream." He sits him in the passenger seat, setting the case by his feet. Jerry sniffles, rubbing his eyes as a faint smile form's on his face.

"I-I like ice cream..." Jerry watches Kurtis whilst he slides in on the driver's side, seat belts on them.

"Yeah, ice cream's really nice," Kurt places a hand on Jerry's knee, rubbing it softly. "And what do you say we watch Star Wars? We could also watch Friends if you want something more heartfelt?" Jerry's smile grows, a blush spreading across Kurt's cheeks.

"I'd... Star Wars sounds nice." Jerry wipes the tears from his cheeks, smiling at Kurtis. He almost forgot what it was like having someone care for him whenever he was upset.

Kurtis sits on his sofa, hand draped over the back of the couch, as they relax in more comfortable clothing. Jerry's head lays on Kurt's lap as he props his feet up on the coffee table, stroking a hand through his short hair. They watch the first Star Wars movie from 1977, strange to them how they can so easily from nostalgic memories around a movie that came out ten years before they were even born, let alone conceived. Two medium-sized empty ice cream containers set on the table, the fireplace crackles softly in the background as it's flames dance on the wooden planks. Jerry sighs softly, he hopes to spend more days like this, alone with Kurtis as they embrace one another's company.

A part of him feels guilty, emotionally cheating on his wife, though, in a way, he had been cheating on Kurtis all this time. Unknowingly, he had fallen for him since they were little kids, but he had abandoned his best friend when love sparked between him and Beth, the most popular girl in high school. It wasn't his fault he fell for her as well, young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes, and they make mistakes, always. He sighs, glancing up at Kurtis, who's eyes remain on the screen.

Jerry roamed around the forest, a stick in his hand that he had picked up a moment before. He looked around curiously, stumbling ever so slightly. This was his first exploration of the neighborhood, or at least the forest just outside the house his parents had just bought. He continued to wonder, the boy stumbling upon a large lake. He smiled at it and walked towards it, watching a duck and her duckings from the shore. Not focusing, he slipped on the mud and fell onto his face, his body started aching from the impact. He sat up and teared up, his stick cut a bit into his arm, not enough to bring blood, but it still hurt. He wiped some mud off of his face and started crying, sitting in the mud as he cried.

"Hello?" A soft voice squeaked, a boy holding a basket of berries in his hand as he approached Jerry, "Hey, are you okay?" Kurtis asked, tilted his head at Jerry and set his basket down.

"Go away!" Jerry curled into a ball, he already hated moving, leaving all his friends, but this added into it. His day, firstly, started off terribly, he was certain the world was out to get him that day, and that only proved him correct. 'Go outside,' his mom said 'It'll be fun!' she said, but it wasn't. Kurtis sighed, sitting beside Jerry as he mimiced his position. After a minute, he placed a hand on his shaking back, which caught him off guard, he stiffened for a moment before relaxing.

"It's okay to cry," Kurt told him, his smile soft. "I won't judge you." He pulled him into a hug, Jerry gave in to it, accepting the hug. His weeps became softer, the bad day seemed to become somewhat better with Kurtis being there. Though he had no idea who he was at the time, he felt a sense of security with him - he rubbed his eyes and sighed, calming. The ten year older looked at Kurtis, who had a gentle look in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just... having a bad day..." He looked away. Kurt patted the top. Of his head.

"That's okay, bad days come and go, pal. I'm James Kurtis by the way, you can call me James." He untucked his shirt from his overalls and wiped the mud off of Jerry's face, sparking laughter from him.

"H-hello, James, I'm Jerry." Kurt's stopped, gasping comically. He grinned.

"No way! J-J! We have the same letter name thingy! That's cool!" Jerry laughed again, sadness dissolved.

"Yeah, that's cool!" Kurtis reached over and took his basket.

"My Aunt Quinn packed me and my sister a picnic thingy, I was picking some berries. Do you want to join us?" He offered, innocence getting the best of him. Jerry nodded, standing on the slippery floor.

"That sounds great!" Jerry almost slipped, Kurtis was always quick on his feet, so he easily helped him straight up, and assisted him to the grass. The two, running hand in hand with Kurt in front, made their way to the clearing, where Aunt Quinn and Jessica sit, the two welcoming Jerry sweetly.

Slowly, Kurtis lowers his gaze to Jerry, finding him staring up at him. He smiles softly, and laughs gently when Jerry turns to look away. He cups his cheek and turns his head to have him gaze at him again, his voice almost a whisper. "You're really cute, you know," Kurtis moves his hand to Jerry's chest, rubbing this hand up and down. He smiles in response, blushing of course.

"Thanks, Kurtis, you are too." Jerry laughs nervously, holding Kurt's hand once he's stopped moving it. "And, uh, thank you for being such a gr-great friend to me."

"No problem, Jer," Kurt sighs softly, "And... whenever you feel like you're all alone, like, no one's there, and you feel alone, and the world's against you," He holds Jerry's hand gently, "Just remember that I'm here for you, I'll always be on your side, man." Jerry smiles wider, sitting up slowly.

"And I'll always be on your side," He responds, voice tender as he pulls him into his delicate embrace, stroking their noses together, a little Eskimo kiss. They pull away for a moment, blushing and smiling sheepishly at one another. Kurtis hums softly, turning to the phone on the small table beside the couch. A sigh leaves him as he takes it off charge, handing it to Jerry, who pauses for a moment when seeing his wife's name on the top of the screen. Why is she calling me?... He answers it, moving to get off of Kurtis. "Hey, Beth."

"Hey?" Beth echoes, voice passive. "You disappear with no word, for two days, you don't tell me anything, and when I call you, you just say 'hey'?" She hisses, understandably so. Jerry hesitates before responding, keeping a calm voice as he forms a lie in his head.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I just went on my daily walk, and ended up running into, Kurtis," He lies flatly, glancing at Kurt, he slowly nods. "Yeah, he, uh- we went out to get lunch and we came over to his house to try out his new recipe for his beer brewing thing," He tells her, not too far off - in the morning, Kurtis had told him about how he [Kurt] drank a few more beers with him, only to see how would like it. Jerry is a lightweight sadly, when he had finished two bottles, he almost instantly passed out from it. "So, I slept over, went to the interview and now we're-"

"Jerry, come home." Beth interrupts, sighing angrily, "I don't care, okay? You can't just not tell me where you are, ever. And daily walk? Really? How dumb do you think I am?"

"I-I'm serious, Beth, I do go on walks, you just never noticed," Jerry frowns, Kurtis moving to pause the television and leave the room - in order to give the two more privacy. "And I don't think you're dumb-"

"Jerry, why are you not on your way home?" Jerry stands, starting to pace around the room.

"Beth, I am a grown man, stop telling me what to do." He huffs softly, "I'll be home later, I'm busy."

"With what? Sucking Kurtis off?" Beth scoffs, hand on her hip.

"We're friends, Beth, can you stop with these teases? It's not funny and makes it awkward for me-"

"Oh, and why did you run out on your interview?" Jerry falls silent, stopping in his tracks, the feelings he previously had at the interview, they come rushing to him instantly, his happy mood demolished. "They said they wanted to reschedule, and said you ran out."

"Beth, I don't want to talk about it." Jerry's voice soft, moving towards the long window near of the front of the house.

"Well, I want to. It took me weeks to get that interview and here you are, taking a piss all over my work."

"I was nervous! I didn't want to waste their time!" Jerry raises his voice, defeated. "I'm sorry, okay? I-I'll try to do better next time."

"You better, do you have any idea how hard it is being the only working person in the house?" Beth throws her hand up with a loud huff.

"Um, yes," Jerry raises his brows, slight anger on his tone, "I was working when you were in college. I-"

"Just get a job soon, Jerry." Beth almost threatens, "I'll see you at dinner. Bye." She hangs up, Jerry sighing softly as he lowers his phone. He stays silent, teary eyes staring into the distance. Two arms wrap around his shoulders and chest, holding him in a hug. Jerry turns around with Kurt's hands around him, and rests his arms around his torso. He sighs softly, the thought of crying in front of Beth scares him - knowing she would only call him a 'cry baby', rather than actually care for his feelings. With Kurtis, on the other hand, he knows he can always count on him for comfort - knowing he would always be by his side. He hates going home, he feels the marriage is on the verge of ending. He loves his wife but her love is like a shadow almost all of the time.

His breath grows shaky, his hands gripping onto Kurt's sweater as the farmer holds him tighter. He dislikes crying in front of people, let alone crying, but a part of him always allowed himself to cry when feeling Kurt's presence nearby. He remembers those mornings he would wake up to the love of his life laying right next to him, but now he realizes it was always one-sided. He wants to make it work, he loves this woman too much to let her go so easily again, but he knows that this may not be too good on his self-care. He sighs again, She's the best you can do, Jerry, she's the best, stop being so ungrateful!

"I'm sorry about Beth," Kurtis whispers, Jerry remains silent. He hesitates before clearing his throat, "I'm sure you two will be alright, just a little argument, you know?" He tries assuring, despite not being too fond of the way she spoke to him - or at least how he assumes the way she spoke to him, having to go off of the one side of the conversation he had heard.

Jerry muzzles into Kurt's chest, "I know..." He replies, pulling away with a hum, eyes red and wet spots on Kurtis' clothing piece. "I should get going though, Beth's really mad..." Nodding, Kurtis reaches out to touch Jerry's cheek.

"If you need me to stay over, I will," Kurtis tells him, smiling softly, "You... You kept saying how you wanted to stay here yesterday, you really just hated the idea of going home." Jerry nods, sighing.

"I think I'll be fine, but can you drop me off please?"

"Of course, buddy, I want to make sure you get home safely anyway." He gives him a quick hug, before moving to grab Jerry's clothes out of the dryer, turning it off before returning to Jerry, handing him the clothes. "I have some apple pie I made yesterday, would you like to take some home?"

"Yes please, it sounds delicious," Jerry smiles, moving to the bathroom as Kurtis goes to the fridge.

"I used Aunt Quinn's recipe." Kurtis smiles softly, watching Jerry's face light up.

"I love her apple pie!" He grins from ear to ear, Kurtis chuckling softly.

"Yeah, I know, dude, I know." Jerry leaves to the bathroom, emerging in his regular clothes and Kurtis' jacket. He takes the container holding his apple pie, and follows Kurtis outside to his truck, their shoes back on and Kurt's hair tied back to avoid the wind smacking it into his face. They progress into the vehicle, the two driving with litter chitter-chatter filling the quiet car. They park the car on the curb, Jerry giving Kurtis a warm, long hug before leaving the car. Waving Kurtis off, he walks to the front door, hesitating before setting his hand on the doorknob and walking into the house; expecting Beth to come down on him more than she originally did over the phone.

[01 June 2022.]