Suffering, Feeling, Presents

Weird.

It's very weird.

How am I in this situation right now?

Doesn't this usually happen in dramas?

How is it that I went from a cheerful girl to a crying mess with him standing in front of me?

How come he even bothered to follow me and the boys all the way out here?

I remember clearly walking with Dino and Mingyu through a small shopping street and we were having a great time. We were eye shopping and even bought matching phone charms. We bought one for every member. Even for him.

But now I'm standing here. In the middle of the street. Dino and Mingyu are no where to be seen. I'm confused and crying my heart out with him standing right in front of me with his usual stoic, emotionless face staring right at me.

Isn't there usually somebody that comes running to save the damsel in distress by now?

That's right.

This is reality.

How silly of me.

To think somebody would rush to my side.

"Jay!"

I looked up and turned to the direction in which the voice came from.

His facial expression showed worry and concern. He was running towards me as if his life depended on it. But then he stopped. And his face changed too. It turned into anger.

He continued to walk to me but looking at the person behind me.

Right after standing right in front of me he looked at me again and grabbed my arms.

"Are you okay?"

My tears kept falling and grabbed onto his shirt.

"It hurts. Chan oppa. It's hurts too much. I can't take it."

He pulled me closer and hugged me.

His embrace made me feel safe and I managed to stop crying.

"It's okay. Let's go home now. It's getting late and you should get enough rest for your shift tomorrow. I'll buy you some ice cream on the way home. Mingyu is waiting for us over there. Come on."

I pulled away and nodded. I grabbed his hand and he dried my tears with his free one and smiled at me.

I gave him a small smile back and we walked away, leaving him and all the painful emotions behind.

~:~ Woozi POV ~:~

It annoyed me.

Though I have no right to be annoyed.

I couldn't face her. So I avoided her.

I decided to think about it on my own. And how I would approach the situation. I stayed overnight at my office and I didn't go home for a few days.

In the end I didn't know how to go about that incident. So I kept putting it off.

It was stupid of me. But I didn't think it would affect her much.

That is until I came home one day and found all her stuff gone.

I panicked and I walked right out of my room and put my shoes back on.

I was going to go search for her until she walked right in with Dino and Vernon.

She seemed happier than ever.

But that smile soon faded when she looked at me.

I was about to talk to her but Dino had quickly pulled her away and took her to his room.

Vernon followed them as well.

I was confused. Had she moved rooms?

That night while everybody slept I was on my bed by myself.

I missed the warmth next to me that conforted me every night.

I stood up from my bed and walked to the kitchen to get some milk. A part of me expected to see her laying down and crying, like when we first met. Another part of me dreaded to find out where she was.

I walked over to Dino's room and sure enough there she was. Cuddled closed to each other. Legs tangled together. His arms around her. Her head in the crook of his neck. Just like me and her the night before that incident.

It was torture. I felt pain. And I couldn't do anything about it. Worst part. I couldn't get any sleep.

Two months passed. And those two months were hell.

Anytime I was in the room Dino pulled her away. Anytime we ate Dino would take her food to the room. Whenever we were all together Dino would make sure to sit the farthest possible away from me.

He would hold her hand. He would hug her. He would wrap his arm around her shoulder. He would do everything and anything that I wish I could do.

And that annoyed me.

So I decided that today would be the last day. I was going to tell her how I really felt. No matter what.

I put on my shoes and followed after them. They went over to a small shopping street and began looking around pointing to cute things or staring in awe at cool things.

I had never seen her so happy like she was at that moment.

They walked into a small store and I followed them in. I stood in the aisle next to theirs and listened to their conversation.

"You don't have to buy us anything."

"Mingyu is right! We already have plenty."

"But I want to! Your fans guve you tons of presents and I haven't given you guys anything yet! Think of this as a present from your number one fan!"

The two boys laughed and gave in to Jay's demand.

"Okay! I think these are cute. Opinions?"

"Isn't that too cheesy? What do you think hyung?"

"Those are couple phone charms right? Why get those?"

"These are the only ones with lots of different colors to chose from. So every one can get one. And they're cute too. See look. It's a little transparent diamond with a colored heart inside of it."

"Ah! You're right! It's like our song!"

"Oh! It even fits with us too! Hyung! We should get these!"

Jay laughed and began to look through the charms.

"Let's get Seungcheol oppa Black. And Jeonghan White! Because a lot of Carats call them the mom and dad of Seventeen. Joshua should get Dark Blue. Seungkwan should get Green. Oh! This Yellow would be perfect for DK! Hoshi should get the Light Blue. It matches his bright personality. Red would be perfect for you, Dino! At least I think so... The8 should get a nice soft color. Like this Salmon! This color is perfect! And Jun should get Orange! Vernon's color should be Light Green. Now for Wonwoo...Oh! Purple! Purple would suit him really well. And Mingyu should get Blue. That color looks really good on you oppa! And now I'm going to get Turquoise for me! Because it's my favorite color."

'She didn't get one for me...'

"Uh... Jay. I know you probably don't want me mentioning... him... right now but. Which one will you get him?"

I heard Mingyu speak up.

My heart sped up in anticipation for her answer. My palms began to sweat and I held my breath.

"The pink one."

"Pink?"

Dino asked the question I had asked in my head.

"Yeah. Because I think Pink and Turquoise make a cute color match together. They are my favorite pair."

I let go of the breath I was holding in and I held my hand to my chest.

"You still like him? Even after two months of him ignoring you and avoiding you?"

Then more pain.

"Yeah. Don't worry about me Dino. I'll get over him eventually. Just for now I still have feelings for him."

It was silent for a moment until Mingyu spoke up.

"It's okay. You feel what you feel. Now let's go pay for the charms."

They payed and walked out of the store.

I stood there trying to process what she had said.

'She still likes me. Even after I treated her so badly... I really don't deserve her...'

I walked out of the store and kept following them.

They walked for a bit more until it got really crowded. And Jay got seperated from Mingyu and Dino. Thankfully I saw where she had gone.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at me. Fear in her eyes.

"Why are you here?"

She took a step away from me.

"I just happended to be here. I saw you being pushed around by the crowd so I came to help you."

"Why?"

I took a step closer to her causing her to take two steps back.

"I'm sorry for how I've been treating you. It really wasn't my intention to do that..."

She gave me a confused look and stepped back again.

"You're sorry? It takes you two whole months to tell me that? Just that? Do you know how I've felt these two months? I was killing myself with questions about you. Thinking if you were just playing with me. Thinking if you had feelings for me. Thinking what that meant for you! And now you just say sorry? What even am I to you?!"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't have anything to say. I didn't feel like I had a right to say anything. So I kept quiet.

I looked at her and she nodded.

"Yeah. I thought so. Please don't play with me like this. Please don't come near me if you don't mean it. Please."

She began to cry.

I wanted to hug her. I wanted to comfort her and make her smile.

But it wasn't me that had to do that. I couldn't do that.

I should have tried harder.

I looked behind her. To Dino who came running towards us. He looked at me with an angry look.Then continued towards Jay.

The spoke softly to each other before they smiled at each other and began to walk away.

I shut my eyes and ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

I was about to walk in the same direction as them and head to the dorm, but I decided that wouldn't be a good idea.

I turned and began walking towards the company building deciding to work on some more songs instead.

'I guess this is for the best...'

~:~ Jay POV ~:~

I stepped into the dorm and sighed.

Dino wrapped his arm around me and smiled.

"You feel better?"

I nodded at him and smiled.

Mingyu ruffled my hair behind me.

"Don't worry. It will all get better with time."

I looked up at him and nodded.

"Thanks."

I walked over to the living room and saw the boys sitting together.

They all looked at me and smiled.

"I brought presents!"

They all cheered and walked over to me.

"You didn't have to you know?"

I looked up to Seungcheol and smiled at him.

"I know. But I wanted too."

I handed him the little phone charm and his eyes widened.

"Woah! It's a diamond with a heart inside!"

I smiled.

"Do you like it? I chose it because of your song. Also because it was the only one that had many colors to choose from."

He pulled out his phone and began to put on the phone charm.

"It's great. Really. It's the best present I've gotten after our rings honestly."

I handed each one their charm and they all smiled and commented on how they loved the color chosen for them.

I placed my own on my phone and held it up to them smiling at them.

"That color really fits you."

I looked at Wonwoo who was smiling at me. He stood next to Mingyu while they both had their charms out.

"Right? I thought so too! It just seems to fit you very well."

I turned to Seungkwan who was standing with Vernon and taking pictures of their charms together.

"How did you decide on the colors?"

I looked at Jeonghan who was looking at his charm next to Seungcheol.

"I'm not really sure. I just felt like the colors matched your personality in some way."

"Makes sense. They are really nice though. You really didn't have to do this."

I looked at DK that kept messing around with Joshua's charm and laughed.

"Thank you. Really. This means a lot to us. You don't even know how grateful we are."

I smiled at Hoshi who was staring at his charm in awe and Dino laughing at him.

"I'll treasure this forever. I'll never take it off from my phone."

I turned to Minghao and Jun who were both smiling at me and holding their charms tightly.

"Alright guys! We should go to bed. We have a packed schedule tomorrow."

Everyone nodded and agreed and headed over to wash up and change to get ready for bed.

I sighed and looked at the pink charm in my hand.

I walked into his room and looked at his bed.

I sat down on it and put the pink charm on his pillow.

'Why did it become like this?'

I layed down on the bed and thought about our times together.

'Next time he talks to me I'll give him a chance to explain himself.'

I hugged his pillow and closed my eyes.

Soon after I got up and went to wash up and change.

I went to Dino's room and found him already asleep.

I slipped under the covers and snuggled up to him and fell asleep.