Kiss? Tears! and Him

~:~ Jay POV ~:~

Dear Electronic Diary,

I'm still working hard with my job at the cafe. I even got enough money to buy myself a cellphone! S.Coups and I went out to buy it yesterday morning.

Ah~ I'm so happy! No more getting lost in amusement parks like that one time.

Woah! I can't believe that was already four months ago!

Also! My Korean is almost perfect. I've gotten so good that some regular costumers have noticed and praised me! Ahh~ I feel so good now~ life here has been pretty great.

Guess what though. Seventeen works even harder than I do. Seeing them put so much passion in their work gives me so much motivation~ I want to help them as much as I can!

So~ because of that, I'm trying to save up enough money so I can get a ticket for one of their concerts.

I've only seen them practice and on tv but never in an actual concert. I want to go see them!

I think I might get another job too...

Anyways, let's work hard!

-This is Jessica, logging off!

I closed my laptop and put it down on the bed.

I grabbed my phone and unlocked it. I looked at the home screen wallpaper. It was all of the  Seventeen members.

I told S.Coups to send me a selca of all of them. It was taken right before they began their daily practice and while I was at work.

The thought of all of us working hard made me instantly happy.

I looked at all of the members smiling faces and my eyes stopped at one in particular.

Woozi.

His smile was genuine.

'I bet he wouldn't have smiled if he knew that this picture was going to be my wallpaper...'

["Jay! We're home!"]

My head shot straight up. Like a puppy who just heard their owner walk through the door.

I walked outside the room and saw the boys, drenched in sweat, pile into the small living room one by one.

I raised my arms and smiled at them

"Welcome home!"

They all smiled at me.

["Wah~ it feels so nice to be welcomed home everytime we get home, right?"]

Everyone nodded and agreed to Dino's statement.

["I'll make dinner while you guys wash up, cool?"]

Most of them nodded and began to go wash up.

Others like Vernon, Mingyu, Jun, Dino, and DK stayed and wouldn't budge unless I let them help out with dinner.

~:~

["Okay! We're almost done here. Vernon and I will take care of the rest. You guys set the table and go wash up! Hurry~ Go!"]

They nodded and left the kitchen.

Vernon began to add the finishing touches to the food while I began to wash.

'Cooking for 13 boys is so much work... How did they do this everyday before I came? Im guessing Mingyu and DK cooked? They are really good at working in the kitchen...'

As I was lost in my thoughts I didn't realize I had cut my finger from the knife I was washing. I felt the sting of the cut when soap had touched it.

Obviously I said ow when I felt the sting.

"Are you okay?!"

Vernon turned me around and saw the cut on my hand.

"Yeah, it's just that I didn't realize I had cut myself and the soap touched the cut and the sting was so sudden and it scared me and yeah..."

Vernon grabbed my hand and washed off the soap but the cut still bled.

"Let's get a band-aid to put on it."

I was about to walk away until Vernon grabbed my shoulder to keep me in place and then put my finger in his mouth.

My eyes widened.

'What is he doing?!'

He arm stopped grabbing my shoulder, but instead he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"There. The bleeding stopped. You're all fine now."

I still looked at him.

His face only inches apart.

I could feel my heart pound and my face get hot.

I noticed Vernon had a serious expression on his face as well.

Then he did the unthinkable.

He began to lean in closer to my face.

'Is he gonna kiss me?! Wait does he like me?! Wait! Wait! I don't want this!'

Just before our lips touched I softly pushed him away and turned my head around.

"S-sorry..."

I softly kept pushing him until he let go of my hand and waist.

I quickly walked away from him and from the kitchen and went into my room.

I sat down on Woozi's bed and hugged my knees close to my chest and put my head down.

'What did I do?! What if I hurt his feelings?! But I didn't want him to kiss me! What do I do now?! Is it going to be awkward? Oh no... I think I'm going to go crazy... Somebody help me please!'

I was so frustrated, I began to softly cry.

I also felt really bad for how I rejected Vernon.

'I couldn't just let him kiss me though!'

Then I heard the door open and close. Then the bed's weight shifted down meaning somebody sat down next to me.

["What happened?"]

I breathed a sigh of relief hearing his voice.

I looked up and saw the worried look on his face.

'He's worried about me...'

["Nothing... I'm okay."]

He scoffed and handed me a tissue paper.

["If you were okay you wouldn't be crying. Tell me."]

I looked at him and then looked back down as more tears fell. He grabbed more tissue papers and grabbed my chin to face him.

He began to wipe my tears until they stopped falling.

We stayed like that and looked at each other's eyes.

["Vernon almost kissed me... and I pushed him away..."]

His eyes slightly widened in shock.

["D-did...you want him to kiss you?"]

He looked down as he asked me the question.

His hand was still holding my face.

["No..."]

He looked at me again.

["Then why are you crying?"]

Tears were about to spill out again.

["I don't know... I guess I just feel bad on how I rejected him? But I'm also scared on what will happen to our friendship..."]

He looked at me and smiled softly.

My heart started beating fast and the butterflies started up again.

Only his smile made me feel this way.

["I think it'll be okay. Don't worry too much on it. Okay?"]

I nodded and softly smiled at him.

["The food you made is good. It would be a shame if you didn't have any. Let's go eat. Hurry."]

He grabbed my hand and led me towards where the others were eating.

They all greeted me and gave me compliments on the food like they always did and handed me my plate.

We all ate together.

Every now and then I snuck glances at Vernon to see how he was doing.

He say all the way opposite of me and he seemed to be happy since he kept smiling with all the members.

'Was it a joke to him? Did he not mean it? Why is he acting like nothing happened?'

I sighed and kept on eating my food.

~:~

I was sitting out in the living room when Dino walked into the room.

I looked up at him, gave him a wave, and smiled.

I made some space next to me and motioned for him to sit next to me.

["Aren't you tired? You should go to bed. You guys are always busy. You need to get enough sleep."]

He looked at me and laughed.

["Yeah, I just couldn't sleep tonight. There's been something on my mind recently.."]

I nodded and sighed.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

He looked at me confused.

I laughed in realization that I had said that in English.

["It's an English saying sort of... It means I'll give you a penny if you share what's on your mind with me."]

He looked at me with a weird face.

["A penny?"]

I smiled and stood up and looked through my bag to find a penny.

I came back and sat down next to him again.

["Tell me your thoughts and I'll give you this penny."]

I held up the small coin in my hand and smiled at him.

He nodded.

["I saw Vernon hyung almost kiss you..."]

My smile instantly disappeared and I looked at him seriously.

["Did....did he say anything? To you?"]

He shook his head and looked at me.

I sighed and nodded.

["Jay... I need to tell you something."]

I looked at him.

["We consider you a part of our family now. All of us do. Seriously! We care about you a lot. Joshua hyung and I think of you as a super close sister. And we never want to see you sad. It hurts us to see you sad. But about Vernon hyung, I think he thinks of you as more than that. I think... Vernon hyung has fallen in love with you..."]

I became worried when I heard him say his last sentence.

["I think of you all as family too. But Dino... I don't see Vernon that way. I feel bad since he's the only reason why I'm here. He was the one that helped me stay here and get along with you guys. And I'm super worried on how we'll be able to live in the same house now. I don't want to lose him as a good friend. I'm so scared Dino. I don't know what to do."]

He wrapped his arms around me and pat my back. I placed my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He kept comforting me as I began to cry again.

["Okay... Don't worry. Everything will be alright. So don't cry and don't worry."]

I dried my tears my tears and nodded.

I breathed out and we sat in silence for a few seconds.

I looked at him and smiled.

["Alright~ I feel a lot better getting that off my chest. How about you? Do feel better after getting some tears out?"]

I smiled at him and nodded.

["Yeah, here's your penny. Keep it safe okay?"]

I put the penny in his hand and he smiled at me while he put it in his pocket.

["I'll treasure it forever."]

We both smiled at each other and stood up to go to our rooms.

I walked in to see Woozi sitting on the bed.

["Why aren't you sleeping?"]

He looked at me with a stoic face.

["I could ask the same thing to you."]

I sighed and sat down next to him.

["I was freeing some of my closed up emotions with Dino in the living room."]

He nodded and moved the covers. We both layed down and he brought the covers over us and snuggled into his pillow.

["It seems that Vernon likes me..."]

He nodded.

["I figured as much. I noticed it a bit of a while ago to be honest."]

I stayed quiet since I didn't know what to say.

I looked at him to see him staring right back at me.

'Why is it that he doesn't act cold towards me when we are alone like this?'

Slowly I scooted closer to him and placed my head on the crook of his neck.

["Is it okay if I... do this?"]

I heard his heart beat begin to quicken a little.

["Then... is it okay if I do this?"]

Slowly his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me even closer to him.

I nodded.

'Woozi... Jihoon oppa... I... I'm in love with you...'

I grabbed onto his shirt and tightly clung onto it and snuggled into him.

I could hear his breathing and I could hear his heart beat.

["Jay, Come with me to my studio tomorrow?"]

I looked up at him, our noses touching.

["Okay"]

He smiled.

["Good Night Jay."]

["Good Night Jihoon oppa"]