Chapter 9

Hailey's POV

"My dad is a professor at  university so naturally he goes on and on and never stops when it comes to topics he loves. So unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, my brain is full of random knowledge. He likes to compare things that are actually happening in the world, things bigger than you, to your problems. Because maybe some how you can find the irony in it, maybe you can relate it to you and then when you're thinking about your problems you can remind yourself that you're not alone.

Every so often whales beach themselves onto shores. They go on these suicide missions and try to kill themselves, ending up on a beach some where. Scientist don't know why, they study it and can come to iffy solutions but there's not sure answer. It might be the pollution, maybe military solars that cause it. But what if it's something bigger than that, something none of us know about?

As soon as they're beached teams will try their hardest to get them back in the water and there has been cases when they succeed in this then the whales show up on the beach the next day.

The whale removes itself from what it's scared of only to be thrown back in it to face it, resulting in another suicide attempt.

There's only so much that whale can take, there's only so much a human can take, only so much a vampire can take.

Harry can go on these killing sprees and then he has to deal with the guilt and hate himself. But then he's thrown right back out there forced to be around me, around other humans. Like the whale he is forced to be around something he's terrified of. He's scared of killing people. So there's two solutions for Harry; he can remove himself from the situation again like the whale, leading to possible death or he can face his fear. He can force himself to be around me and ignore the thirst.

I'm just scared that one day he might snap, and he will throw himself back on shore, unable to deal with the pressure."

I set my journal down, leaning back in the chair starring at it and sighing. I haven't written in this old thing in ages and the first time I do I blab on about something that doesn't make sense to anyone, not even me. I skimmed through the pages starring at the ink I've imprinted on it. All of it seemed so irrelevant. Me talking about stupid things, like weird teenage girls did. I sat up and ripped all those pages out, all but the one I just wrote on.

A clean slate.

I lied down on the bed starring up at the ceiling. Harry and I returned home yesterday and he's been avoiding me. After our talk on the back porch about his family we didn't really talk during the weekend. He kept quiet and ever since we have been home he's been locked up in his room. I'm worried that he's avoiding me because he's scared of what he will do.

I looked over at the clock, it was 2:00am. I knew that they were all asleep, I could hear half of them snoring since they were so loud. I got up and quietly opened my door, tip-toeing out of the room and down the stairs. I grabbed a blanket off the sofa and walked out on to the back porch, wrapping it around my shivering body. I starred up at the sky, the faint stairs twinkling slightly.

"Cant sleep either?" A gentle voice asked from behind me making me gasp and turn around. Liam stood in the door way laughing at my reaction making me roll my eyes. He walked over to the lounge chair set up on the deck and motioned for me to sit down.

"How are ya love? I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while." He said making me laugh.

"Well I live with you Liam, we always see eachother." I said making him shrug.

"I know but we haven't had a talk in a while." He said looking over at me with a heavy face making me smile. If I pick one of them to be a bestfriend, a bigger brother, it would be Liam. Probably because of his natural need to nurture you and be there for you. He was there when I woke up and has been there for me to calm me down. I leaned into him and he smiled.

"So how was the weekend with Harry?" He asked making my face immediately go red.

"it was fine." I said listening to the sound of his deep chuckle vibrate his chest.

"Do you fancy him?" He asked making me giggle at how british he sounded. I shrugged and looked up at him.

"I don't know what I feel. How could I possibly 'fancy' a kidnapper?" I asked making him sigh slightly.

"Do you believe in faith?" he asked making me shrug slightly.

"I guess, I mean I guess things do happen for a reason right?" I asked.

"The week leading up to Harry finding you was a mess for him. I've never seen him more at a low and he wouldn't talk to any of us. It was the first time in his vampire life that he really would do anything to become human again because he hated feeling guilty, upset, angry, all of the above. He absolutely despised it so Zayn took him out on a spree. Zayn told him to find a girl at the club but before he let him go he told him to find one that stuck out to him, he said that if he found one and wasn't able to kill her; he had some humanity back in his life. I think that you came  into Harry's life in a perfect way, he can understand that even though he is dead, he's alive and full of life. I think that you needed Harry too, he's opened you up to so much in a little time." He said, my mind stuck on the fact that I was possibly the reason for Harry regaining himself.

"Have you ever wanted to be human again?" I asked making him stare at me for a bit, before nodding slowly.

"When?" I asked.

 "7 years, 2 months and 13 days ago." He said making me raise one eyebrow.

"You keep track?" I giggled.

"I met a girl 8 years ago who was amazing and it was the first time in my vampire life where the emotion of love was all I could feel. She knew about me and she wanted to be turned so bad but I wouldn't turn her, I refused. One night we got in an argument about the fact that she was getting older and I wasn't and in that moment there I wanted to erase all of this life I have given to me. She got angry and stormed out, on the ride home her car got hit by a transport truck and she died on impact. I never got to get married to her, have kids, watch our kids grow up and get married. I never got to grow old with her. I have never wanted to be human as bad as I did that night." He explained making my eyes tear up.

"Oh Liam." I said pulling him into a hug as I stroked his back. He pulled back and tapped my knee.

"I think you should go to bed love you look tired." He said making me nod. I wiped under his eye, drying off a single tear. I stood up and faced him smiling as he looked up at me. I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek before walking inside. I tip-toed up the stairs and down the hall first past Zayn's room, then Niall's and then Louis' who all had loud snoring shaking the bedroom door. Once I got near Harry's I heard nothing and there was even a dim light coming from inside. I stopped, pondering it for a second then looked down the hall at my bedroom. I sighed and turned to face his door, knocking on it quietly. I heard him get up off of the bed and walk over to the door, opening it. He was leaning on the door frame, shirtless as his abs muscles and arm muscles flexed, only in boxers. He smirked down at me and I looked up into his eyes that shinned even in the dim light.

"I can't sleep." I confessed. He nodded and opened the door wider and I stepped in starring around at the surroundings. The walls were all wooden and the furniture was all old and antique, simply beautiful. His bed was massive with a canopy draping over it. He stepped on the blanket that was wrapped around me causing it to rip off of me.

"Hey." I said turning to him, watching as his eyes scanned all over my body. Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable in my short pajama shorts and my tanktop. He laughed and walked past me, splitting the canopy and getting on the bed. I walked over and noticed a lot of sheets spread all over the bed.

"What are all these?" I asked splitting the canopy open and sitting on the bed.

"I'm trying to track my turner some how." He said making me look at him, watching as he pulled an adorable concentrating face.

"How will you do that?" I asked.

"Well it seems that I'm not the only one that has ever had this problem, theres a book on it." He said sliding it forward towards me.

"It says that there is a special plant, if you grow it in the spot you were turned, the turner should come." He said mking my mouth part, my jaw dropping slightly.

"Like magic?" I asked making him laugh

"Like magic." He answered nodding. I looked back at all the papers, possible names and different solutions. I felt my body trying to shiver, goosebumps gathering on my skin but I didn't want to show it.

"You cold love?" He asked making me look up at him.

"Kind of." I admitted. He smiled and pulled the blankets down and patted the space. I starred at him unsure.

"I'll stay over the sheets and you can be under them, I wont touch you." He said making me smile. I crawled over beside him and slipped under the covers, close enough beside him to feel the heat radiating off of his body. I pulled the covers up to my chin and leaned into him slightly, watching him smirk and look down at me.

"I thought you didn't want me to touch you?" He asked making me roll my eyes. He chuckled and wrapped his strong arm protectively around me, bringing me right into the side of his body. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he stroked my back.

"I talked to Liam tonight." I said quietly.

"Oh yeah? About what?" He asked making me realize he was pressing his lips into my head.

"He told me about the week leading up to you finding me, that Zayn told you to find a girl that would help you keep a little bit of humanity." I said feeling him stiffen up. He pulled his head back and I looked up at him, watching him stare down at me heavily.

"I've never regretting feeding off of someone more in my life Hail." He said brushing the hair out of my face.

"I know." I said quietly. He had never said it to me but I knew that he regretted it, I could tell by the way he would look at me. I leaned back into him and he wrapped his arm around me tightly, kissing my head. My eyes slowly started to shut, falling asleep as he played with my hair.