RUN AWAY

"Yeah, mom… I reached Daegu. No, I will visit them tomorrow. I need to freshen up, first," Jungkook argued with his mom about his visit to Mr Choi's house. He walked out of the airport while his hand worked to handle the suitcase that he carried. As he calls for a cab, he ends the call immediately. 

The car drove alongside the beautiful streets passing through the shades of greenery filled areas. Smooth breezes of air hit the glass of the window indicating the chilliness of the weather rushing in the morning, making that little Jungkook wonder in amazement. Sliding down the glass his fingers play on the rail of the window, feeling the air. His irritated and sleepless head finds peace while his muscles relax under the wind's touch. 

A small smile was about to dance on his lips as he was reminded of the pain he gave to you when you were worth all the love. 

I am the demon… I just deserve to feel the pain as much as I gave… 

Rolling up the window, he ruffles his hair while checking the road. He needed a cigarette… he wanted to forget the demon which resided in him. The driver drove the car at high speed finding the morning road empty. As he drives Jungkook to the hotel, he gets paid for his work.

Climbing out of the car, Jungkook walked inside the motel. His eyes adored the peaceful aura this city gave him. The calm atmosphere, bright and soothing colour combinations painted on the wall relaxed his soul. It feels good. 

It shouldn't… I am not supposed to feel any good…

"Y/n… please pass me the paracetamol!!" Rose's loud voice hits your ear, making you almost spill the batter of the pancake. You will surely kick her this time. 

"Wait…" you reply and by pouring the batter on the cookware, you walk towards the first aid box and by pulling the medicine, you reach her room. 

"Thank you baby," she pouts, holding her head. While you shake your head in disappointment. 

"When will you stop self-diagnosing and visit a doctor?" You sigh while she giggles before chugging down the pill with their water. 

"I want to visit, honey… but I am afraid of them. What if they stick any disease on my head with treatments and ask for money?!! She groans and you huff in annoyance. 

" I am taking you to the clinic in the evening. Be ready at 5, I'll be back early today," you inform her and before she rejects and whines about the appointment, you flee from her room. 

By preparing breakfast for you two, you eat yours while she keeps whining about doctor's appointments. You won't listen to her this time and since you know her habit, you leave for work without asking her to eat. She will eat after you leave and you know that very well. 

As you take a walk to the cafe you are working at, you find the weather peaceful and windy today. It might rain till evening, you guessed. 

Mockery is that the peace reminds me of the chaos your memories give me…

'Jungkook… don't mind me but can I ask what type of cake you like?'

'Umm… any cake which you bake for me,'

'What? Did I say something wrong? Why are you staring at me like that, y/n? 

'Ah… umm… nothing. It's just. It feels nice to see you giggling,'

'Oh… does that mean you like me when I smile and don't when I act strictly?'

'No, that's not the case. I meant you like exactly like a small bunny when you smile. Your cheeks prepping up while your teeth flash brightly, your eyes almost go invisible when you smile… I meant you should smile more,'

'Woah, I never thought you observe so much'

'And you will never see how much I observe,'

'Sorry, did you say something?'

'Nothing,' 

"Looks like someone is lost," a strong, deep voice brings you out of the past, dragging you how you want to. 

"I… sorry," you bite your lips, shaking your head while the male chuckles, crossing the counter and reaching your side. As he was a few inches away from you, you stepped back immediately. 

"Do I get to know who occupied this beautiful lady's mind?" He controls his giggles while you argue at his notation.

"I promise there's no one. By the way, it's good that you decided to check on the cafe. I wanted to talk to you about the aprons," you inform him while he nods, listening to your say.

"Sure. Go ahead…" he mutters and you explain the issues of the cafe to the owner. 

Yes, Kim Namjoon is the owner and good friend of yours and Rose. He also owns a few other cafes around this city, making him leave the cafe on your shoulders. He trusted you which made you put your attention to the cafe more. You can't let him down, you shouldn't. 

"Y/n… the cafe will start in half an hour till then please one frappè for me," he pouts, taking a seat opposite to the counter while you chuckle a little seeing him acting so cute. 

"Fine. By the way, how was your date?" You ask while he whines inresponsee. 

"He broke my heart… he said he can't date a man who doesn't have a driving license?! I mean is it my fault if I can't manage to get a driving license… mf will get killed by me someday," he grunts, slamming his fist on the counter while you almost laughed at his warnings.

"Don't worry, Namjoon. I am sure, god is making you wait so you get the one who really deserves your love and your pure heart," you smile, placing the coffee mug on the counter. He holds his heart, awwing at your utterance. 

"I wish I wasn't gay, man! I would have dated you…" he laughed while you were ready to throw a fit on him if he was serious. But were you that courageous? No. You lost all your strength. 

You… Do you think you can fight back, huh?

Look at your fragile skin!! It'll tear apart even if you try to slap me… 

So it's better to not fight and enjoy…

"Y/n!?" Namjoon's voice brings you back from the horrendous memories as you wipe your sweat and put back the smile on your lips. He looked at your trembling form suspiciously while you smiled and turned your back to continue your work. 

It was almost evening when Jungkook pulled the strength to get ready and not waste the time in the four-walled room.He freshened up and got ready to take a stroll around the city. As he steps out of the hotel, he walks mindlessly without knowing which side to go.

It wasn't as hot as it should be in the summers, which was a good thing. The clouds hid the sun rays, making the surroundings look perfect and beautiful. Pavements shone like jewels spreaded as he walked on them. It calmed him. He needed this after years of torturing himself. But again he disproved it because he wanted to be punished more.

It would have been great… if you were here

But again, this monster doesn't deserve you, sorry y/n...

Struggling with his thoughts he walks on the movement while a song hits his mind and he pulls the phone to play it. As he walks around, staring at the few monuments which he passed by he gets thirsty. 

Fck me… I don't even know the way back to the hotel. I guess I should book a cab again…

"Yeah… I am coming. Just wait for me, please," a high pitched voice makes him turn around. He nearly cursed at the man for yelling in the public area. 

But then his eyes land on the old fashioned small cafe. The door had a giant handle just like the royal mansions. While the windows had the curtains wrapped in a unique design from inside to attract the visitors. The dark beige colour is closer to brown and gave very soothing vibes while he stared at the entrance for a few good minutes, studying the details. 

It's been a while since he visited a cafe. Will he get comfortable inside? Probably not. He is damn sure he would end up smoking in the cafe, disturbing the other customers. And thus he decides to leave the space.

Come on… there's your piece of heart, take it back with you...

As he takes steps away from the cafe, he hums to the song he wrote. He wished to record along with the guitar tune he decided but he couldn't make himself to. It scared him, scared that if he finishes its recording he will be left hollow and the anxiety of not being able to give you will eat him up. 

He didn't want that. He didn't want to trouble you, didn't want to find you. 

Sighing to himself he turns around. The greed of tasting a new drink, exploring new flavour takes over him. He fights with himself for more than ten minutes, standing still in place and at the end gives up. Finally, gathering strength he hurries his steps to reach the cafe. As he does so… his strong palm stills on the handle before he pushes it open.

He steps inside and the strong whiffs of the coffee, low sounds of the coffee machine and the cool snaps of the ac hits his hot body. The sweet faint smell of the bakery items makes his heart jittery with joy. He gulps the lump and walks inside. There were few customers, mostly students of probably the nearest universities while few people occupied the largest table for their office meeting and there sat a couple holding each other's hand near the window, blushing at each other's comment.

Ruffling his hair, he pulls the mask down and searches for the reception counter. As he does, he walks over it. To his surprise, there was no one attending the customers. 

Irresponsible? 

'Please… please don't mess up at this moment,' you pray while your fingers work on the music system which stopped playing halfway of your favorite song. And just after that a customer requested a song for his girlfriend but this system was on strike. 

'Come on, please…' you frown, hitting the play button of the system while you curse at the stupid device. 

A small yet sharp knock on the countertop catches your attention as you facepalm yourself for getting so busy with the music system. 

"Sorry for the delay… just give me a minute, I'll help you," you ask for a minute as you hurriedly tap any button of the music device. The poor boy was going to propose to his girlfriend and you didn't wish to ruin their day of course. 

No… it can't be you, no! 

Was it your voice… heck it was!!

He can never forget the octave, the tone, the pitch… he can never, 

Oh, god!! You'll hate him more… he can't stay, no… 

Taking a step back with a loud thumping heart he composes himself from breaking. He can't shed a tear, he can't. He shouldn't act weak at this moment. He should run away before you hate him more, despise him more, make him hate himself more… 

But you were in Daegu for all the years? 

Oh god!!! How hard it is to step back!

He wants to see you, he wants to see if you still have long hair, still have that heart warming smile to kill him, still have the small palm which he would like to hold, still have the preciousness oozing out, still have that cologne, his drug…

He can't!! He can't!! He can't come to you… he will only hurt you, give you pain if he takes another step ahead… 

He didn't lie when he said you took his heart with you… he didn't know how loud his heart thumped in his ribs, the counts were lost just like him, just like how he was lost in your voice. 

You're alone with yourself and there's no one else to blame…When you still can't feel the rhythm of your heart…And see your spirit fading in the dark,Oh, oh, I'll be there,When you need a little love… I got a little love to share, 

The music echoes the whole cafe, catching that young boy's attention as he sighs in relief. You give him a thumbs up and turn to look at the counter. No one. Furrowing your brows, you check the whole area only to find the same customers sitting and enjoying their time. Strange. You are sure, you heard a knock and felt the presence.

I don't want you to be for me… I don't deserve your love, y/n!! I do not…You've already done a lot…

I don't know… I don't know why it is so hard to move on from you!! Why I have become like this… maybe because you made me realize that I am a monster, maybe because your separation took my everything, maybe because I didn't even get to hold you back when you left, maybe because something, something was too pure between us… they say right, I was the beast, monster while you are beautiful inside and out.