Chapter eleven - A regret

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Perrie's POV (a week later)

 "Bye Jesy!" I said softly and kissed her. Jesy smiled and closed the front door behind her. She was out. Leigh-Anne was out. Jade was out. I'm alone in the flat again. 

I walked to the dining table and sat down. On the table, my laptop was open. Jesy and I decided we'd be getting our own flat together. I was so excited. It would be me and Jesy. Alone together.

We already chose where we wanted to move and the other girls had accepted. I sighed and flopped on the couch happily.

I turned on the TV. Nothing good was on. I went upstairs to my room and sat on my bed. Jesy's guitar was next to my bed, so I picked it up and rested it on my knee.

The good thing is, us four girls can all play guitar. But we all know that Jesy is the best. 

I just sat there on my bed, randomly plucking the strings of the guitar. Soon enough, I came up with a pretty good tune. I smiled to myself and started playing that tune over and over again. It sounded pretty good.

Maybe I could come up with a song of my own. Just for fun. The other thing with us four girls, is that we can all sing really well. But we've never written an actual song before. I decided to give it a try.

First thing's first. What should the song be about? Should it be about love? Nope. I'm not in the mood for love songs. Should it be about partying? Or just life?

That's actually a good idea. Something to do with life. Thinking about life, my mind moved onto thinking about my younger sister.

She's turning fifteen soon. She's alright with her life, but she's told me about one of her friends named Patricia. Patricia was cutting, she was upset by her body image, her looks, school stuff and basically her whole life. 

My sister is always so concerned about her. I soon snapped back to what I was going now. I knew Patricia quite well, and I don't want her to be unhappy with her life. I don't want anyone to feel that way.

I thought about it all and plucked the guitar strings of my little tune. I did it over again and again. Should my song be based on Patricia's life?

I jotted down a few ideas on a piece of paper. Soon, I came up with four lines for a bit of my first verse. I took a deep breath and started singing while playing the guitar.

She captures her reflection and she throws the mirror to the floor

Her image is distorted screaming 'is it worth is anymore?' No-oh oh

Are you scared of the things that might put you through?

Does it make you wanna hide the inner you?

I smiled to myself. It actually sounded pretty good. I was about to start singing that few lines again when there was a knock on the door.

I went down to the living room and to the front door. "Ugh... you sound horrible!" yelled a voice from the other side.

I opened the door and gasped. So did the girl who insulted me. It was Priscilla. "Priscilla? What are you doing here?" I asked in surprise.

"What am I doing here? I was going to ask you the same question! My flat is just above yours and I could hear you singing from there, Pera!" she answered, looking as surprised as I was. 

"My name is Perrie," I corrected her. How did she get to know my name? Well, close to my name. "Yes whatever. I don't care if you fired me. I got a better job. But can I tell you something?" she asked me.

"What?" I asked back. "Your voice is horrible! Ugh! Stop singing!" she yelled and stormed off. Wow. Priscilla stays in a flat above me. And she hates my singing? Ugh, I'm started to hate her.

I closed the door behind me. As I went up the stairs, I made up two more lines of my song. 

You're not the only one so let them criticize... ah-ah-ah-ah

You're untouchable when you realize... ohhh oh

For those to lines, I decided to quicken the pace of my voice a little. That should do for the first verse. I got back to my room, picket up the guitar and started singing that whole verse with my music. For the last two lines, I changed the tune a little. 

Then there was another knock on the door. I sighed and went down stair to open the front door again. I expected to see Priscilla, but instead I saw my friend Collin.

"Hey Col!" I greeted. "Perrie, I need a hug. There's no one else to help me at the moment and I need comfort," he sighed. 

"Collin what's wrong?" I asked as I let him sit on the couch. "I... I was cheated on..." he said bravely. He looked like he was going to cry.

I immediately rushed over to him and gave him a hug. "It's alright, Col. Someone as sweet as you doesn't deserve someone as horrible as her," I said softly, wiping a tear that fell from his eye.

He tried his best to smile. "Thank you," he whispered with a quiver in his voice. 

He stared into my eyes. I found it really awkward, so I decided to just stare back into his eyes. Suddenly, without any warning, Collin leaned over and smashed his lips on mine.

I was in complete shock, but I stayed in the kiss. As much as I wanted to push him away, my lips kissed him back. I felt his hand being placed on my back and I placed mine on his shoulder. My other hand tugged on his hair.

We sat there, kissing each other. I didn't feel a spark or anything between us, but I kept kissing. All of a sudden I heard someone gasp. 

"PERRIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Leigh-Anne screamed in the doorway. Collin pulled away in surprise. Leigh-Anne looked shocked. I immediately regretted what I just did.

Leigh-Anne's eyes moved from mine to Collin's. "Get... out..." she instructed between her teeth. Collin stood up. "Leigh-Anne, don't be mad at Perrie. It was my fault. It wasn't anything," he said quickly.

"OUT!" Leigh-Anne yelled. Collin quickly ran out of the front door. Leigh-Anne moved her eyes back to me. 

"Leigh, I'm so sorry!" I apologised with  a shaky voice. Leigh-Anne closed the front door and turned back to me. "Sorry? Sorry for what? For cheating on Jesy?" Leigh-Anne asked me with anger in her voice.

"Leigh, the guy just got cheated on. I was only comforting him until he started kissing me!" I sadly explained. 

Her face didn't soften. "So? Who cares about that guy? Why did you kiss him back? Don't you know how much Jesy loves you? Didn't you think about how heartbroken she would be if she saw this?" she continued.

"Leigh-Anne, I said I'm sorry! I regret it so much!" I told her. A tear fell from my eye. When Leigh-Anne saw it, her face grew less angrier. 

"Okay. I understand. Just make sure you never do that again. And make sure you tell Jesy," she said softly, I widened my eyes. 

"Tell Jesy? I would never tell Jesy! I don't want her to find out about this at all!" I said loudly. Leigh-Anne shook her head. "Perrie, you need to tell Jesy. The sooner the better. Otherwise, your mistake will stay in your head and will disturb you a lot. You have to tell Jesy and get it over with," Leigh-Anne instructed.

I gulped. She was right. I have to tell her.

Jesy's POV

I came back to the flat after visiting my new baby nephew. He was adorable. 

"Hey guys!" I shouted out once I got into the flat. Jade, Leigh-Anne and Perrie were in front of the TV. I went and sat next to Perrie and kissed her beautiful lips.

"Hey babe," she greeted me. There was a look of guilt on her face. Oh well. "Jesy, can we go out for dinner tonight?" she asked me. I smiled. "Of course!" I replied. 

That night, Perrie took me out to Nandos. I love Nandos. We ordered our food and recieved it. While I was eating it. Perrie cleared her throat.

"Jesy, there's, um, something you should know," Perrie said quietly. "Is there?" I asked, smiling. Perrie looked at me with a guilty face. I took the smile of my face.

Then Perrie began explaining her story. About how Collin was cheated on, how he kissed Perrie to how Leigh-Anne reacted. I couldn't believe my ears. I was cheated on by the one I was in love with.

Perrie saw the look on my face and looked like she was about to start crying. "Jesy, I'm so sorry!" she breathed. I just sat there, looking at her. I don't know if I should yell at her or cry.

I got up from the table and walked out of Nandos. "Jesy - wait!" I heard Perrie call behind me. I said nothing and went outside. How could she? How could Perrie do this to me?

"Hey, Jes. Heard the news?" asked a voice behind me. I turned around. It was Leigh-Anne. "Leigh-Anne? What are you doing here?" I asked her. My voice came out shaky.

Leigh-Anne gave me a hug. "I knew Perrie was going to tell you on this date. I drove here. I'll drive you back to the flat," she told me. 

I felt relieved. I started crying heavily on Leigh-Anne's shoulder. She patted my back. "It's alright Jesy. Perrie will never do it again," she whispered. 

Leigh-Anne led me to her car and she drove me back to the flat. Jade saw me and ran over to me. I cried even harder.

Without dinner, I went upstairs and went to bed. My hurt and sadness turned into anger. Anger towards Perrie. 

How could she?