Where do we go now that they're gone?

                  •THREE YEARS LATER•       I sit in a hard plastic chair in an abandoned school. Well, abandoned isn't the word I would use, it went out of business since almost all the teachers and students were snapped. Now it's being used as a shitty therapy place, called 'Where Do We Go Now That They're Gone?'         Pepper has taken over Stark towers and it's mainly her job to try and rebuild the world, with the Avengers and government helping of course. One thing Steve set up was the therapy session that anyone can go to for free, and most of the Avengers go to it. I didn't want to go but Steve and Pepper kind of forced me, so here I am, sitting in this room listening to this guy vent.        "So I uh... went on a date the other day. First time in five years and I'm sitting there eating and... I didn't even know what to talk about." The man said.         "What did you talk about?" Steve asked.        "Eh, same old crap you know, things have changed and my job his job, how much we miss the Mets. Then things got quiet and he cried as they were serving salads." The man responded.         "What about you?"          "I cried just before dessert. But I'm seeing him again tomorrow so..." the man shrugs.         "That's great. You did the hardest part, you took the jump. You didn't know where you were gonna come down. And that's it. That a those little baby steps we gotta take to try and become whole again, to find purpose." Steve's talking to the whole group now. "I went in the ice in '45 right after I met the live of my life. Woke up 70 years later. You gotta move on. The world is left in our hands and we gotta do something with it otherwise... Thanos should have killed all of us."        I stare at the ground. Thanos should have killed all of us... Finally the session ends and everyone files out one by one. I'm left with Steve.       "You didn't talk much." Steve says.       I shrug, "what was there to say?"        Steve sighs and stand up, "Your hurting. Talk about that. You miss Peter, anything, but you can't keep it all in."       I stand up as well, "You don't get to tell me what to do."       I leave the building and walk into the tower. When I get to the main level I see Nat in the middle of the room with screens of the remaining Avengers. It's sad how little there are left.        "Well... this channels always active, anyone making trouble where they shouldn't, it comes through me." Natasha states as Steve walks in behind me.       I could tell Nat wanted to be able to do something. We all did.       Everyone. Says goodbye and all the screens disappear except Rhodes. Nat sits down and sighs before looking up and seeing Rhodes still here.      "Where are you?" Nat asks.      "Mexico. The federales found a room full of bodies, looks like a bunch of cartel guys never even had a chance to get there guns off." Rhodey states.       "Probably a rival gang," Nat dismisses.        "Except it isn't. It definitely Barton. What he's done here... what he's been doing the last few years... I mean the scene that he left. I gotta tell you there's a part of me that doesn't even want to find him." Rhodes states with no emotion.       I know Clint, he's an archer, a superhero. An avenger. He didn't know how best to deal with his grief and... killed people. A lot of people. And he hasn't stopped. Nat stays silent for a moment, "Will you find out where he's going next?" She takes a bite of her sandwich and she looks bad. I meant, like dealing with grief in a wrong way kind of bad. Rhodes nods and the screen goes blank. Immediately Natasha puts her hands to her face and I realize she's crying. I back away slowly as I hear Steve come in. I take a turn and walk down the hallway, heading to my room. I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Thinking. My childhood was good. As good as anyone's childhood could be. I was smart, creative, had multiple hobbies. My parents were good. My younger brother was annoying but... I miss him. I miss all of them. And now I miss Peter too. When Hydra took me, and I killed my family, the only thing I was thinking of was dying. Being able to see my family again. I had no reason to keep living after all and as soon as I figured out how to escape Hydra I was going to kill myself. Then the Avengers found me and changed my mindset. I was still trying not to get close to anyone, to not be the reason they died because, let's face it, everyone I love dies. And so did Peter. I used to play guitar, I dreamed of being a singer, have my name up there with Billie Eilish and Conan Grey. Music was my way of coping, I had bad mental health even back then. I slip into my suit and jump out of my window, swinging to a nearby music store, the only one still open in Manhattan. There's only one other person inside other than the cashier. I grab a nearby blue bass guitar, not even caring to see what brand it was. I walk to the checkout area and put the guitar on the counter. The cashier looks up and his eyes widen at seeing me, "You're..." "Yeah, yeah, I'm spider-woman. Half the world's dead, get a hold of yourself." I gesture to the guitar, "how much for this?" The guy blushes in embarrassment and mutters, "450..." I pull out five hundred dollar bills and give them to the man, "keep the change. I don't need a receipt." He opens his mouth to speak but I grab the guitar and put the strap over my shoulder so the guitar is on my back. Then I swing out of the store and through the city, being careful not to damage the guitar. I see a tall building and I land in top of it gently. I breathe deeply and close my eyes. In Out In Out        Peter.        "I trust you." He smiles softly,        "You... do? Why?"        He laughs lightly, "Honestly? I don't know. You've tried to kill me and almost succeeded, I've only known you five days and yet I trust you. Your alone and grieving. And that's a horrible time to be alone. You're also the only Avenger my age so... we gotta stick together."        I open my eyes and shake away the memory.        "What happened to you Peter...?" I whisper into the sky.        I get no answer, not that I was expected one. He's dead, I watched him die. So why do I feel like he's still here? Why do I feel like if I could change one thing he would be back?          I pull the guitar to where I can strum easily. I only memorized a few songs before Hydra, but that was a while ago. I do remember a specific one though...        I strum a soft C and continue breathing deeply.       "It's not true... tell me I've been lied to... crying isn't like you..." my voice is barely a whisper.       I continue to play the guitar as I sing, "what the hell did I do? Never been the type to let someone see right through..."       Tears roll down my face, "Maybe won't you take it back say you were trying to make me laugh... but nothing has to change today you didn't mean say I love you..." "I love you and I don't want to..." my voice breaks. "Up all night on another red eye, we wish we never learned to f-fly... maybe we should just try to tell ourselves a good lie... didn't mean to make you cry..." "We fall apart as it gets dark... I'm in your arms in Central Park... there's nothing you could do or say I can't escape the way I l-love you... I don't want to... but I love you..." "I love you..."