Chapter 12

Music keep playing over and over, filling the empty air in the Gym as Okayu practice her dance, Y/N watching from behind, witnessing her determination through both of her dance and her singing that he heard from the speaker.

Though his attention isn't fully on her, but rather at something on his phone.

"Manager-san, is something on your mind?" The music came to stop as Okayu approached Y/N. "You seem unwell since yesterday."

He turns off his phone the same time Okayu sit beside him, her purple eyes centered to his phone then flickered to his eyes.

"It's nothing, Okayu." He replied, his eyes meeting hers, he smiled. "It's already night, let's continue tomorrow."

Okayu let out a long sigh, irritation written all over her face. "You've always like this, since we were little, you never talk about yourself." She hugged her knees, resting her chin on them. "You know that you could've always told me about anything, right?"

"It's nothing, really." He smiled though it didn't reach his eyes. "It's already night, you would get sick if you push yourself too much."

Huhhh, since when did he become isolated like this...Okayu let out another long sigh before heading out to the changing room. You dummy...

He didn't move not even a finger, he stared blankly at his reflection and quickly averted his eyes, now staring to his phone his thumb hovered into Suisei's contact, hesitation took all over him.

Is this what I really wanted?

Right before he tapped the screen, Okayu come out from the changing room, wearing her casual clothing as usual, signalling Y/N to leave the Gym.

The cold breeze of night air greeted the two as they leave the gym, Okayu scooted over walking beside Y/N, their hand grazing into each other, she looks up meeting his eyes.

"Y/N-chan, you do know that I'm exist right?"

"Huh? Of course, I know, what's all of the sudden?" Y/N replied, confused by her question.

Okayu let out another sigh, "We know each other since we both kids, though we just met again recently..." She looks down avoiding his gaze. "Now that we're both an adult, I want you to understand, that I'm here for you."

"It's hard for me to see you like this," She paused, "Don't hesitate, please..." She grabbed his hand, her warmth spreading through his body. "I'm here for you."

Under the moon, in the busy streets of Tokyo their eyes met with each other, her purple eyes seem to glow under the light, his eyes lit up as if regaining its colour. "I...I didn't know I needed that." He smiled, "You really can see through me, huh?"

Okayu grinned, tightening her grip on his hand before letting go. "I'm your best friend, don't you remember that?" She giggled. "This is my stop, see you tomorrow, Manager-san."

Okayu waved her hands, smiling before her small figure disappear in the crowd leaving him alone on his own. His smile drops off the moment Okayu turned her back to him, as if taking off a mask, he let out a long sigh, gazing to the concrete below him.

Those three years are really precious...He thought to himself, his body moving on autopilot towards his apartment. But, will everything be the same again?

The apartment door clicked shut behind him, the usual dark and gloomy room welcomed him like an old friend. For once, he tried to switch the light on, revealing a messy room. Trash littered everywhere, old paperwork scattered all over the floor, framed pictures of him and Suisei eaten by dust, the broken glass shattered all over the floor.

Unlike his usual, it was odd, he decided to clean his apartment. Though it seems impossible at first, but turn out it was easier than he thought.

Canned Beers that used to be laying around everywhere are finally cleaned, the Cups of Instant Noodle that filled the apartment are gone as he throw the last cup into thrash bag and all the scattered papers are no longer there. The room wasn't spotless, dust are still everywhere, but it finally looked like someone lived there again.

A dry chuckle escaped from his lips, Why am I doing this now? His eyes landed on one of the framed pictures, He pick it up from the floor carefully, avoiding the shattered glass. Brushing away the dust, a sense of nostalgia washed all over him, Suisei grinning beside him, her face shimmered under the afternoon light, behind them was a chalkboard with her handwriting.

Her smile carefree, filled with so much joy, one that used to brighten his days.

His thumb grazed to the broken edge.

"I wonder if you still smile like this."

He walked towards the bedroom, the framed picture still on his hand. He sat down on the edge of his bed, looking over the picture once again, the sweet memories flooded in to his mind. He carefully placed it on his bedside drawer next to an empty glass.

He opened his phone, Suisei's name stared at him, hesitation, almost took him over again, but tonight he able to control it as he began to type.

Meanwhile, in her quiet apartment Suisei can be seen shutting down her computer after finishing her stream fifteen minutes ago. Though, her trauma hasn't fully healed, she still decided to stay in her apartment, alone. Yagoo's news of Takehiru that he tells to everyone are only the tip of the iceberg, different from what Suisei heard from him, as she herself deserve to know of what is happening to him.

Disbelief, of course filled her, not only her but Yuzuki Choco too almost become his victim, though her case is what Yagoo planned.

Everything and anything that happened too him are deserved, or even worse as the consequences of his action didn't end here.

Suisei's hope of bringing back the things she lost are gradually gone, her encounter with him are what she been waiting all this time, yet after the last time they met, her hope faded away.

"Who wouldn't fall for him?" She speaks, her voice filling her apartment. "But, him being with Okayu are the least thing I expect."

She sighed, her mind flashing back when she saw how close the two are. The laughter, the teasing, felt too real, too close between a manager and a talent.

She stood by the window, arm crossed, her gaze distant. The city lights sparkled like stars trying to distract her mind, trying to distract her from reality. But her thoughts, stubbornly clung into him.

The brief moment outside the studio, the way Okayu grabbed his hand, how easy she does it and how naturally he smiled back.

"Y/N-chan, huh?" A bitter chuckle escaped from her lips, dry and hollow. Her deep blue eyes glistened with tears, but she quickly wiped it away.

She turned away from the window, walking over the kitchen without knowing why. She didn't crave anything, but somehow ended up boiling a water. The quiet hiss filled the silence, the soft hum of its build up somehow soothing.

Her phone buzzed.

She froze.

For a moment, her heart pounded. Not from excitement, but from the tug of war between her hope and caution. She hesitated before finally took her phone from her pocket.

A new message from him, 1 new message from Y/N.

Her thumb hovered, just like his had typing her the message. A breath in.

She opened it, her heart racing.

"Hey...it's me. I don't know where to start, to be honest I don't even know what to write...But, I've been thinking of us for a lot of time, I'm lying if I'm not. You know, after we met that day, I thought to myself that, your smile never changes even if I didn't see one that day. So, maybe if it's not too late, I want to talk. Just us, like the old times."

She gripped her phone tightly, her fingers trembled slightly as she read the message for the second time, her fingers hovered to her eyes scratching it. The text is there, not escaping anywhere.

A soft breath escaped from her lips as she sank into the kitchen stool, her phone still in her hand. Her thumb hovered to the screen again and again, the words didn't want to come out.

But then again, hadn't they always been good speaking with their eyes instead?

A small smile formed on her lips after staring at the message for what felt like forever. Slowly, slowly she began to type, continuously deleting and writing over and over.

"I want to talk too..."

She hit send without thinking twice, and only then she allows herself to exhale fully, her chest rising and falling in a steady motion, laced with the kind of relief she longed. Her eyes gazed to the window then back to her phone, her fingers moved on its own pressing the Call button.

The phone rang barely twice before he picked up, there's nothing at first just the faint sound of both of their breath. Then, he speaks.

"Hello?" His voice raspy, tired maybe, but it's unmistakably him.

She didn't speak, neither him. For a moment only, the low hum of the city on her side and the faint rustle of something on his can be heard.

"...It's really you..." She whispered, "I thought you'd change your mind."

"I almost did," He replied, "But then, I thought to myself to give it a shot..."

A silence stretched between them again, but this time it wasn't awkward or weird, but comfortable just like in High School. She let out a chuckle, remembering the old times.

"Your message," She paused, her voice soft. "It surprised me."

"I never good at describing my feelings, I really didn't know how else to say it." He murmured, his voice low. "I didn't know if you'd even want to hear from me again."

She chuckled, dry but real. "I hated you." She confessed. "I really did, and I'm not lying. That day, after everything, I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch you, or cry in front of you, really loud."

"...I wouldn't blame you."

"But then again," She continued at the same time walking towards her bedroom. "When I saw you again after all these years, I didn't find you, but I looked into your eyes, you're still there, the same Y/N I used to know, the same person who always make me laugh."

"But you're still different, it's like the light in you faded out." She continued.

He let out a quiet breath, "That light, it used to be you."

Suisei's breath caught for a second. The way he speaks, not just with words, but the weight behind them. Truths wrapped in sadness.

"I don't know if I can go back," She said honestly. "To how things used to be."

"Neither do I," He replied. "But, I want to try at least for once."

There was a pause, then...

"I'm tired of pretending I'm okay." She said.

He nodded, though she couldn't see it. "Yeah, me too."

"Then...should we met?"