Chapter 14: Everything's Going To Change

After the conversation with Minho last night, I still couldn't sleep. Even if it was our last night there and I really wanted to get a good sleep not to miss the car ride again, I was awake for a good two more hours.

But Newt woke up and a few others were still awake, so we chatted for a while.

One of the only people that were passed out was Minho. I saw the chance and I took it.

And since Minho was a naughty little klunk, I wasn't the only one who wanted to have a payback on him. Newt wanted revenge for the ponytails thing, Thomas for that one time he told us about in which Minho tricked Thomas and managed to make him punch himself. And even if Frypan and Winston didn't really have anything against him, they were up to it.

So we took a few permanent markers –black, blue and red –and started to paint his face.

When he already had a red moustache and goatee, a black pirate patch on his eye, and a lot of green freckles we waited to see if he woke up when he stirred. But he was still deeply immersed in his slumber.

Newt smirked evilly when he realized how much of a heavy sleeper he was and suggested that we turned Minho around and painted on his back too.

Needless to say, I had finally managed my revenge –well, me and everyone really –and then we went to sleep. We looked forward to the moment of truth, when Minho looked himself in the mirror –it wouldn't be too long because he had to make sure his quiff was on point –and we saw his reaction.

I was woken up by a loud scream that I recognized as Minho's.

"SONS OF A SHUCK!"

Even if we were all sleepy, we exchanged satisfied glances and grins as we laughed at him.

He had seen it, our masterpiece drawn on him.

After that, he spent a whole half an hour trying to take the marker out rubbing by his skin with a scrubber. By the time he was done, his skin was completely red.

*

The last day we wanted to go home soon, so after having lunch and goofing around a bit more, we began to pack up to go home.

The house was a little chaotic as everyone ran around it, going back and forth, to gather their belongings. We yelled at each other to ask if we had seen something and from time to time hid something as well.

When we were done and made sure we weren't forgetting anything, we headed for the cars.

The car organization was the same that before, which meant that Chuck was going with Thomas and Teresa again. So I went to my brother and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before I walked to the car Alby would be driving.

While Fry finished gathering all of his stuff –he had woken up the last one and was still rushing up and down the place to pack –Thomas chatted with Minho, Newt, Alby and Gally.

"Are you sure?" Newt was smirking evilly as he nudged Minho in the ribs.

I leaned my back in the car and observed the scene, listening to their conversation.

"Ugh, you shucks..." Minho rolled his eyes so hard I thought he would hurt himself.

"You know he's right" Thomas joined their teasing. "You should just go in that car so you can be with her"

Newt motioned for me to get closer and held me by the waist to keep me close to him when I did.

"Alby asked him if he wanted to go in the car with Brenda, but Minho refused out of pride" The blond whispered in my ear, sending shivers all over my neck and down my spine when I felt his warm breath against my skin.

"That shank" I shook my head and kept watching in amusement.

"Stop..." Minho spoke lowly, but he was obviously getting mad.

"But be careful, Chuck goes in that car" Alby smirked before he went into the car. At least he didn't only tease Newt and me.

Frypan had finally walked out of the cottage with all his stuff and we were all ready to go.

"Yeah, you can't be bloody necking each other with Chuckie there" Newt insisted, crossing his arms with that mischievous smirk still on.

"Shut up, you shanks!" Minho had exclaimed.

But another voice had joined him during his outburst, talking at the same time. Thomas.

"Jinx!" I high fived Thomas when we finally managed to jinx Minho once and for all.

During the whole time we were in the cottage, I had tried to jinx him a few more times, but he never listened. He would just ignore that I jinxed him.

The Asian just briefly looked at me with a smug expression. He wasn't going to do it that time either.

"Yeah, right" Brenda said, suddenly behind me, probably to help judging by the sassy tone on her voice. "Like Minho can actually be five seconds with his mouth shut"

The aforesaid looked at her surprised and maybe even hurt. He wasn't that used to her teasing, I guess. Or maybe it was because he really liked Brenda and he felt a little worried that she might think he was rambling and annoying.

"I'll do it" Minho assured, lifting his chin up with dignity. "You'll see"

He made a sign over his mouth, as if closing a zip, and silently walked in the car.

"You're welcome" Brenda whispered to me with the smile present in her voice.

"This is going to be awesome" I said to myself, clapping Brenda's back in appreciation.

Getting in the car in the same position that we were in the way there, I sat next to Newt with the window at my left.

"Everyone here?" Alby turned around to look at us.

"Yeah, if you're here say it" Newt smirked, looking at me with the corner of his eye.

"Here" Everyone said, except for one.

"Hold on, this feels so silent, I think someone is missing" I mumbled, directly looking at my friend.

He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. Even when he didn't spoke, he managed to hold the same level of sassiness.

Newt held my hand just as Alby started the car and Minho proffered a grunt of exasperation.

"Hey, Min" I called him, leaning forward so I could see him with Newt to my side. "Do you mind if my boyfriend and I kiss?"

Minho sent me a death glare.

For a few seconds, the only noise was the one that the car made as it kept moving.

Then Minho opened his eyes wide, finally realizing what the jinxing implied. Not only he had to stay quiet, which was hard enough for him, but he had to also put up with our teasing without bursting. Because we were obviously going to take advantage of the situation.

What kind of friends would we be if we didn't wind him up when he couldn't sass back?

"Maybe he can't talk, but we can" Gally sweetly told me, turning in his seat to look at me.

"Yeah, and we don't want such cheesiness in the car" Alby agreed, nodding his head.

"Fine" I sighed and looked through the window, averting everyone's gazes as I knew they were satisfied that they managed to annoy me a little. Such friends I had, always teasing me.

"Don't bloody listen to them, love" Newt gave me a kiss on the cheek, which made me look at him.

Then, as I turned my head towards him, he kissed me in the lips.

Everyone allied to complain at just that simple and innocent kiss. Familiarity breeds contempt for sure.

Minho leaned forward to pull at Newt's arm in order to keep him away from me. With him and Thomas I pretty much knew what having an older brother felt like even if I didn't really have one. I hoped I wasn't so overprotective and annoying with Chuck.

"Bloody hell, alright!" Newt crossed his arms, pouting like a little kid, and put his head on my shoulder.

We remained in that position as the car moved and the rest of our friends was silent. Especially Minho.

I grinned as I played with Newt's hair, admiring him and feeling so lucky to have such an amazing person in my life.

I wondered how we got to that point. Not that long ago, we were just strangers that met for the first time outside a professor's office and we began talking. And we became friends.

But something changed. The day Newt took me to the Glade and kissed me, that was the day everything began to move faster to bring us to the point where we were right now.

A single kiss had changed everything. Because just a single kiss could change it and fix it all.

And talking about kisses, I felt Newt's warm lips against my neck. I swear I got chills so badly that I visibly shuddered. It felt just right, but it did things to me that I wasn't prepared to let him know it did.

"Don't do that!" I whined, and I cringed when I realized my voice had pretty much sounded like one of a five year old.

Even though Minho wasn't allowed to talk, he laughed lowly.

Newt looked up at me and I glanced back at him. I saw a naughty twinkle in his brown eyes.

"How didn't I bloody notice before?" The British said in astonishment.

"Notice what?"

"How sensitive and ticklish your neck is" The blond spoke as a smirk formed very slowly on his lips.

To be honest, I hadn't noticed either until he kissed it. So far, he had only nuzzled his nose against my neck and even if that sent chills all over my body I thought it had more to do with Newt.

But when he kissed me I felt a tickling sensation in my stomach that had nothing to do with the butterflies that had seemed to settle in there. Well, not exactly. It was like the butterflies, but even more intense.

I just wanted to throw myself at him and kiss him passionately when he kissed my neck. But we weren't exactly alone in a moving car with friends.

Newt kissed me again and I had to bite my lip hard to remind myself that Alby, Minho and Gally were there with us.

"Newt..." I began to whisper, though, trying to tell him to leave it for later.

But just as I was about to say it to him, I felt him chuckling in my neck. Immediately after, his teeth softly bit into my skin, making me jump in the seat and yelp loudly.

It wasn't a sensual bite. It was a playful and smug bite to remind me how mischievous someone who looked so innocent like him could be.

Gally grunted and stirred in his seat when he heard me. He seemed to be falling asleep.

Alby worried and looked at us through the rear view mirror.

And I heard how Minho slapped Newt across the arm, but the slinthead just giggled.

"Alright, you need to slim it" I told my boyfriend grumpily. "All this goofiness has gotten up to your brain"

Amused, Newt showed me the tiniest smirk and stayed silent.

"What did he do?" Alby asked, his voice being muffled by Gally's snores. I didn't notice he had indeed fallen asleep until then.

"He bit me!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you" He said in a smug whisper, casually leaning his head on my shoulder again.

Well, he did say 'I might bloody bite, actually' during our dinner with our parents. But how was I supposed to know that it wasn't just to tease me but to warn me too? He was just teasing me all over again.

Still, as a tiny apologize because he sensed that I was slightly bothered by it –not really, it just surprised me so much the fact that he did and the effect it had on me -, he left the softest of kisses in my neck before he accommodated himself on me.

"You should have dressed up as freaking Dracula for Halloween" I mumbled, apparently loud enough for my friends to hear because they laughed.

*

The drive was silent because Gally and Newt were sleeping. And Minho was still jinxed and held to his word surprisingly well.

So I picked up my book yet again and kept reading. I was loving the experience of reading that book. It had something special to it, and it wasn't only that Newt had given it to me. It was the book itself, the plot, the characters, the whole essence of it.

It was really funny sometimes, like the part of the party in which Ben was wielding the infamous beer sword. And the quote "Talking to a drunk person was like talking to an extremely happy, severely brain-damaged three-year-old." that Newt accompanied with a smug smiley face. He would never forget about that party, huh?

Then again, it was really romantic because Quentin had only eyes for Margo and it was really beautiful at times. "I could stand up and go to her and kiss her. I could. But there is still too much to be ruined." Was one of those romantic quotes like the one about Margo's hands.

But that one in particular –that Newt had underlined –made me think. Did Newt think in a similar way when we still weren't dating? I remember how he actually asked me if he could kiss me. Was he insecure and scared that he could ruin everything?

I looked down to him, his head still propped down on my shoulder as he softly breathed, fast asleep.

I smiled and sighed in content, cursing that he was so perfect and also feeling lucky that he was.

Concentrating to focus on the book again because otherwise I would end up thinking about him again –shuck my life –, I kept reading.

There were also deep parts to the book that made you think about life. About the strings within us that are so often mentioned in the book. About everyone's perception. About everyone's lives.

About how a single person can pull you out of the abyss or throw you into it. About how different abyss are for every person. And "I kept waiting for that loneliness and nervousness to make me want to go back. But it never did." reminded of Newt and his darker times. But the last part made me feel better because it meant that he wasn't in that place anymore.

Still, there was a long paragraph that really left its print on me. So much that I almost memorized every word just by reading it once:

"But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And it's only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out."

And it was right, because I wouldn't be so close to my friends and to Newt if I hadn't let them see through my cracks when I began to fall apart. None of us would be. Because true friendships are those in which people have cracks so we can be ourselves.

It reminds us that no one is perfect. Just like in the book, Quentin thinks Margo is like a legend, a perfect and beautiful angel. But she has cracks too, just like anyone else. Just like Newt, just like Thomas, just like me.

But there was definitely something unique about that book. And every time I looked at it I thought about Newt, he was like magic. And of course, being a Coldplay fangirl, it reminded me of Magic.

Call it magic, call it true. I call it magic, when I'm with you.

In fact, Newt had always been such a sweetheart to me. It often occurred to me that I wanted to do something for the people I was really fond on in return for everything they did for me. For Thomas it was basically every year during his birthday, I made an extra effort to buy something a little more expensive that he would really love because he deserved it. And with Minho, I had bought dinner for the both of us –just once, because he was so pigheaded and refused all the time.

And I wanted to do something special for Newt too. Maybe prepare him a big meal and give something to him, a gift.

Yeah! Cook some food that he really liked with a chocolate dessert. Frypan could help me too since he was way a better cook than I was.

And I could also give Newt a framed copy of that stupid photo he loved so much.

We could have dinner together and then spend the day alone. It sure sounded perfect.

*

I wanted to give my eyes a rest because I had been reading for more than half of the trip. So I closed the book and pondered over it.

I stared at the view through the window with dreamy eyes, my mind far off from the car as it flew to more imaginative places. The date night I was planning for Newt and I.

The great moments of the weekend. I smiled with the memory every single shenanigan we pulled out. As I recalled every single one of Newt's cuddles. Minho's goofiness. Thomas' clumsiness.

Suddenly, I felt a hand tucking a tuft of hair behind my ear. When I turned my head I saw Newt glancing at me.

He smiled and I had to smile back. I did it almost on instinct, he made me want to smile.

"I thought you were sleeping" I mumbled as I stared at him, thinking that anyone who noticed the way I looked at Newt probably thought it was the cheesiest thing. But I didn't care.

"I was" Newt yawned, stretching his arms.

Newt was sleepy, and I knew what that meant.

"I miss Bark" The blond whined, wrapping me in his arms and resting his face in my collarbone.

"Sonya will be taking good care of him" I said to try and cheer him up, but someone talked over me so no one heard me.

"You can cuddle Y/N instead" Alby smirked, looking at us through the rear view mirror.

"You're gonna bloody get it, you shank" Newt angrily told him, still not letting go of me or even bothering to look directly at him.

Someone poked me in the knee, and I thought it was Newt, but when I looked I saw Minho's big hands.

"What?" I tiredly asked him, figuring he just wanted me to say his name.

He didn't move when I glanced at him. But his expression was a flirtatious one and I knew he was being silly as usual.

I wriggled my eyebrows playfully at him, grinning in spite of myself.

Minho reciprocated the gesture and I snorted when he made a funny kissy face.

"I told you to stop flirting with my girlfriend" Newt didn't have to look at us to know what we were doing. But he had kind of gotten used to it and accepted we weren't being serious, I guess. Even if deep down his jealousy was probably disguised as teasing.

"Don't worry, honey" I teased him, patting his head on my chest. "I prefer you over him"

"Why don't you love me, woman?!" Minho burst out.

"Sorry, Min" I hadn't even realized that he wasn't supposed to talk. "But you're not Newt"

"That's bloody right" The aforesaid replied, the wide grin noticeable in his husky voice.

"Ha! You talked!" Gally mocked Minho sleepily, which made us all laugh.

"Whatever" Minho rolled his eyes to show us that he didn't care, but he pouted and crossed his arms over his chest grumpily. "I'll deal with Brenda later"

"You mean your girlfriend?" Alby joked, briefly looking at us before he drove his attention back to the road.

"I'm going to take a nap" Minho just said, facing his back to us and resting his forehead against the window glass.

I chuckled, knowing that he would be quiet for the rest of the ride even if he wasn't going to be jinxed anymore.

I gave Newt a kiss on the forehead and held his hand intertwining our fingers together and focused my glare on the view from the window. We would be home soon.

*

When we arrived home, Chuck immediately went to mom and dad to tell them about our weekend. He had always been so hyper and enthusiastic.

Meanwhile, I went up to my room. I took a long warm shower to wash the trip off, got dressed in my coziest pajamas, lied down in my bed and grabbed Paper Towns yet again. I was almost falling asleep as I read because the journey back home had been a little tiring and I hadn't gotten the best of sleeps last night.

So I just fell asleep right after I had finished reading the last sentence of the book, which still burned in my mind as it drifted off.

After we kiss, our foreheads touch as we stare at each other. Yes, I can see her almost perfectly in this cracked darkness.

When I woke up, I felt fresh and active so I prepared to give Newt that surprise I had thought of in the car.

I set up everything that I needed for it: called Frypan and asked him if he could help me, and he agreed to let me go to his place to cook. Then I went to print the photo and buy a frame for it. And lastly, I called Alby to ask him to let me get in the house without Newt knowing so he wouldn't know the surprise until he needed to.

*

I was sitting in the sofa of Newt and Alby's place, waiting restlessly.

I had been restlessly waiting for a while. During that time, I checked the table five times to make sure everything was perfect, which it was. I had taken my shoes off to walk around the flat barefoot to be more comfortable –and to distract myself during those few seconds because I was so excited –and I had made sure the kitchen was clean after I set everything up.

After cooking with Frypan –which was a lot of fun, he was a great guy. We chatted about the weekend and about the funny moments and photos we would always remember – I came to their flat with the key Alby had lent me, set up the table and lit a candle to put in the middle to give it a romantic feel.

Everything was perfect. The table served with our plates of macaroni cheese –which was Newt's favorite food – and every little detail prepared.

I had dressed in a beautiful black top that suited me really well and a cute short skirt. I was really excited about it all.

Finally, the door swung open and Newt came in.

Grinning like a fool, I jumped up from the couch and walked towards him.

"Newtie, I have a surprise for you!" I took him by the hand and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Y/N" Newt said after he kissed back, smirking and softly pushing me away. "My parents are here"

Indeed, behind Newt were his dad and his mom. And Alby behind them, on top of all.

"Oh" I bowed my head down in embarrassment and made myself aside to let them come in.

"Hello again, Y/N" Newt's mom smiled at me as she walked into the flat.

She was carrying a little dog that I guessed was Bark. They were surely giving him back to his owner after that weekend that Sonya spent looking after the puppy.

"Hi" I coyly said.

"Y/N" His dad nodded at me as a hello, and I copied his gesture.

"It will be a moment, love" Newt whispered in my ear.

"Just... don't go to the kitchen" I begged him, or else he would ruin the surprise.

He nodded and left a brief kiss in my cheek before he went to speak with his parents.

"Are you done with the surprise?" Alby asked me with that usual smirk on his face. But at least that time it didn't look so full of mockery and more of kindness instead.

"Yeah, thanks" I handed him the keys back and he chuckled.

"He's gonna love it" He encouraged me, nudging me in the arm fondly.

"I hope so"

"Yes, mom" Newt was back with us. "I know"

"Take care, son" His dad told him as they walked to the door.

"I love you, Newt"

"Love you too, mom" The blond reluctantly said, obviously embarrassed because Alby and I were still there.

Alby coughed to hide a giggle.

I chuckled and we said goodbye to Newt's parents as they walked through the still open door.

Newt handed me Bark as he went to the door to tend to their parent's last advices such as 'don't forget to put a coat on' or 'try not to eat too much fast food'. And I heard him grunt in annoyance when his mom kissed him obnoxiously on the cheek.

I looked at Newt while he stuck his head at the door, nodding at his parents' words and advices. I absently reached out to pet Bark's head.

Alby petted the puppy too while I still carried him and Newt closed the door finally and joined us once again.

"Ugh, parents" He joked, taking his jacket off.

Alby scratched Bark behind the ears and started to walk away, knowing I wanted some time alone with Newt.

"I'll just pick up a few things and be on my way" Alby said, heading to his room.

"Thank you" I mouthed, and he subtly winked at me to say it was nothing.

When he left, I gave Newt back his dog so he could hug him and cuddle him since he had missed him so much.

He started talking to him in a baby voice while the puppy happily wriggled his tail like crazy.

I figured Newt's parents just came to give Bark back and pass by while they were at it. See their son again.

"What are you doing here, love?" Newt grinned widely as Bark shook in excitement in the boy's arms and licked his cheek.

"I have a surprise for you" I admitted, motioning for him to put the puppy back on the floor, which he did.

"A surprise?" He asked me excitedly but yet curiously.

I nodded and covered his eyes to take him to the kitchen.

He walked blindly as I still didn't let him see, slowly walking with him through the living room and the hall to the kitchen.

When we were there, I uncovered his eyes.

"Tada!"

The kitchen was only lit with candles that I had placed all over the room and I had covered the food so it wouldn't go cold.

Newt lifted the lid of the plates and smiled widely when he saw his favorite food.

"Frypan helped me, by the way" I mumbled, feeling satisfied just by the happy look on his face.

Before he sat down to start enjoying the supper, Newt hugged me tight and thanked me for the detail.

*

While we ate, we chatted a lot. And we goofed around a lot too, why lie.

Picking food from each other's plate, making each other laugh, feeding each other... if Alby were there to see it he would definitely tease us about it.

When we were done eating, included the chocolate dessert and all, I gave Newt his gift.

Before he opened it, he looked up to me startled.

"I adore this, love" He began to say, licking his lips. "But why are you doing all this?"

His glare burned me as he looked at me with such intensity.

Looking down at the gift he held in his tender hands instead of meeting his glare, I shrugged.

"I wanted to do something for you because you've done so much for me" I coyly said, aware of how corny that sounded. But it was how I genuinely felt.

Newt chuckled in that adorable way of his and stood up and leaned forward to give me a kiss on the forehead.

Then he sat back down and unwrapped his gift.

Newt's lips slowly curled up as he stared at the photo and then he looked up at me with that smile. Observing him, and falling in love with his smile all over again, I finally realized what made that smile so special and unique.

It was his eyes.

Everyone has many smiles. Apologetic, fake, polite, cheerful, smug, you name it. But there were also sincere smiles, and those were the most beautiful of them all.

And what made that smile special wasn't only the fact that it was a sincere and heartfelt smile, one of those smiles that you can't really keep to yourself and it widens on your lips without you even realizing.

It was also that it expanded to his eyes.

I found myself staring into Newt's eyes, which smiled as well. All those feelings that I could sense in his smile were in his eyes as well: happiness, a bit of shyness, sweetness, love.

And it was beautiful.

"This is just perfect, Y/N" He caressed the photo with the tip of his fingers and glanced up to me.

Leaving the frame on the table, he stood up and held my hand to pull me up and give me a thankful hug.

"I'm glad you like it" I chuckled, holding him tight and closing my eyes to embrace the warmth of the hug.

When we pulled away, I smiled at him and looked into his eyes before I leaned in and left a gentle kiss on his lips. He tasted like chocolate.

Newt didn't have enough, however, because I saw him smirk and I knew what that gesture meant.

Confirming my thoughts, he firmly placed his hand in the small of my back and fiercely stuck my front to his as his lips connected with mine.

"I dare you to bite me again, Newt" I fiercely told him.

To be honest, I was craving him more than usual. And in a more intense way.

I didn't know how or when or why, but what I usually felt for him I felt with twice as strength.

"You can't tell me what to bloody do, love" He smugly said, placing his hands on my butt with a cheeky grin.

My cheeks began to burn violently and that only made him feel more satisfied about it all.

Not wanting to let him win at teasing me, I briefly kissed him.

I let out a heartfelt guffaw when I saw how he made a kissy face and leaned forward looking for my lips to carry on with the kiss while I pulled away.

"Oh no you didn't" He dedicated me a loop-sided grin that made my lower stomach tingle.

I bit my lip and smiled as I kept my eyes glued to his lively and awake dark brown eyes. In them I saw love, a bit of mischief and... lust.

"Do you actually want me to bite you?"

I innocently shrugged, not really wanting to admit it. But the feeling of his mouth against my neck just felt right. It felt perfect.

And the way he was keeping my body so close to his, not allowing any space to separate us. The way his warm hands rested one still in the small of my back, in my skin under the top, and the other in my neck.

"As you wish" And now he came quoting one of my favorite movies. Shuck off.

Newt very gingerly leaned his lips against the bare skin of my neck. I pursed my lips together not to make any kind of noises when I felt his teeth in my skin.

I could literally feel that stupid smirk of his against my neck, and it only made everything better.

Instead of biting me, however, he just kissed me with so much care that I knew he was mocking me.

To feel me even closer, Newt wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me against his torso, his mouth still leaning against my neck and repeatedly kissing it.

I happily sighed, tilting my head to the side to give him more space as he kissed down my neck until he reached my collarbone.

Smirking now myself, I pushed him away and stuck my tongue out at him. He had teased me and now I would hit him with the same game.

Surprised, he unwrapped his arms from my frame and stared at me in awe.

I just walked slowly to his room with that smirk permanently tattooed on my face. After a few seconds, I heard him following.

In the last moment, he ran ahead of me and sat on the bed just as I was arriving at the door.

He patted his lap but instead I faced him as I sat down over it, straddling him. He blushed a little and I couldn't suppress a tiny grin, adoring everything about Newt.

To my eyes he was still perfect.

And when I mean Newt was perfect, I mean that I know he wasn't. He could be a little annoying with his smug expressions and his teasing, feel everything too strongly, care too much about the rest of the world and not enough about himself. But it was all those flaws that made him perfect. All those things made him real, made him Newt. My Newt.

I smiled to myself as I still thought about that.

I placed my arms over his shoulders and hugged him tight, burying my face on his shoulder and happily sighing as feeling him that intimately close to me was exactly what I wanted.

He recovered soon enough, because he shoved his hands under my shirt and settled them firmly on my hips.

Responding to his move, I held his face and passionately kissed him.

His sweet taste made me want to never stop kissing him. Kissing him like that felt so good that I let out a tiny little pleased groan. I didn't care if I needed to pull away to breathe or if Alby walked in at that moment. I wanted Newt.

Our lips were almost glued to each other, fighting against one another to gather as much taste from the touch as they could.

I felt sparks of electricity spread all over my body, for a moment forgetting about everything else. Nothing in the world existed, just Newt's lips.

The sparks felt more real and intense than ever, and that feeling multiplied when our tongues joined the kiss and added more passion to it.

I giggled when he bit me softly in the lip. He smirked when I pushed myself closer to him.

I just didn't have enough of him, of his lips, of his embrace. I could never have him close enough at that moment.

For a brief second, we broke the kiss to breathe again. Our elaborated breaths filled the room as our foreheads rested against each other and our smiles made each other smile even more.

Newt was the one that kissed me again first, carrying on with the same intensity from before.

My hands were locked in his hair as his squeezed my hips, his fingers digging in my skin.

I giggled and yelped in his mouth as he used an arm locked around me to swing me until I lied on the bed, him on top of me.

He went to kiss me again but he started to chuckle.

"What's wrong, Newtie?" I teased him, smirking and caressing his hair.

"That was adorable" Was all he replied whilst he still laughed a little.

"Shut up, Chocolate Boy" I roughly put my hands on his nape and shoved his face closer to mine until our lips smashed together yet again.

I was starting to feel the constant need to taste his lips and I missed them as soon as they left mine. Hunger for more Newt took over me as he rested his hands on the mattress not to put his whole weight over me.

But I just blindly looked for his hand while our lips kept moving in sync, not leaving each other even for a second although we were panting and our lungs needed oxygen again.

When I finally found his warm hand, I firmly intertwined my fingers with his and he took the hint.

He moved his other hand until it rested on my waist and slid it down my body until it started to caress my bare legs.

Finally breaking the kiss to get some very needed air, we stopped to look into each other's eyes.

Newt sent me a cheeky glare accompanied by a wide and smug smirk.

I just smiled at him and he made me squeak and giggle again when he did in fact bite me in the neck.

*

I guess I fell asleep after it all, because I suddenly found myself waking up in Newt's room.

I was really tired but I was happy. It had been one of my happiest moments if not the happiest. I was like in a cloud, in heaven, were everything was plain and perfect.

As I looked around the room, everything felt wonderful. The memory of his touch and the feeling of him was so pleasant that it sent shivers down my spine and made my stomach tingle.

I covered myself with the sheet and looked at my right to find him lying there next to me, staring at the ceiling with a content smile.

"What are you thinking about, Newt?" I sleepily asked him, and he jolted up in surprise.

I giggled at the sight, placing my arm over his bare chest as I lied on my side.

He turned to me and put the hair away from my face.

"I was thinking about how lovely you are" He gave me a kiss on the forehead and stared at me fondly.

I couldn't help but to stare at him as well, too dazed by everything and how perfect everything felt.

I opened my mouth to playfully mock him and his cheesiness, but a sound startled us both.

The main door of the flat closing.

"Newt, I'm home!" It was Alby.

Newt's eyes widened quickly.

"Bloody hell" He said under his breath, quickly standing up and getting dressed.

Still feeling as happy and jittery as I could be, I laughed at him.

Newt shushed me as he put his shirt on. I didn't know why I wasn't freaking out like he was, but I was just feeling too happy to let anything ruin my mood.

"Y/N" He called me, throwing me my clothes and combing his hair.

"Newt?" Alby insisted when he saw his friend was nowhere to be seen.

The blond glanced at me one last time before he opened the door and went to greet Alby.

I just smiled as I got dressed and prepared myself to make my appearance presentable enough to join them.

There was no way Alby wouldn't notice what had happened, but I really didn't care. My mood was too good.

"Hi, Y/N" Alby casually greeted me when he saw me.

I simply smiled at him, having the terrible feeling that he definitely knew.

"Want to stay for a while more?" Newt turned to me and I read his expression.

I felt like he wanted to be alone for a moment, and so did I.

"I want to take a walk" That was what I said, but what I thought was 'I want to be alone and make sure that I'm not dreaming'.

"I'll pick you up later, just tell me where, love" My boyfriend kindly offered, holding my hand.

I noticed how stunning he looked because he couldn't stop smiling. I wondered if I looked like that as well.

"Um... near the Bliss café in a couple of hours?" It wasn't too close but not too far either, it was the perfect spot to stop my wandering at.

"Sure" He smiled at me and squeezed my hand fondly.

And so, I waved goodbye at Alby and gave Newt a last kiss on the lips before I left.

*

For the entirety of those two hours, I walked aimlessly around the city. Everything seemed so much brighter and beautiful, even if the clouds were gray and it meant that it would probably rain. But everywhere I looked I saw something that made me smile. Or more likely, made my default smile even bigger.

When I arrived near the Bliss Café, I sat in the little park that was in front of it. I felt alive as ever, happy, radiant, awake, and lively. And all because of one damn boy.

I sat there, smiling to myself as I waited for Newt to arrive.

I had been right about my weather forecast as it had softly started raining. Lately there had been no rain, except for a while that it rained during our weekend in the cottage.

But I didn't even mind the rain; it felt even more beautiful and calming.

Covered under a tree's shelter, I looked up enjoying the sight of the rain and letting the relaxing sound surround me as well.

That park brought back memories that didn't even bother me anymore. It was the park where Dave and I used to hang out in. But having Newt I didn't need anything or anyone else because I was happy.

For the first time I was starting to think that I had overcome my insecurities. Thanks to Newt. Well, to Thomas and Minho and everyone too. They helped me a lot. But especially to my chocolate boy.

I felt someone sitting in the bench next to me, but I didn't mind as I was too lost in my thoughts. It was probably an elderly man who wanted to give a rest to his tired legs or something like that.

I was so jittery, looking forward to seeing Newt again. Lately we had been spending a lot of time with the gang because of the sleepover and all so we couldn't have much time alone. But that night would be our chance to carry on where we left of after Alby so rudely interrupted our special moment.

Once I had assimilated that it all actually happened with that walk by myself, I was craving Newt again.

Absently-minded, I looked to my left to the person who suddenly cleared their throat.

And I froze.

All the happiness shattered as if it were made of glass. And my good mood disappeared.

The smile fell from my face and my breath caught in my throat as I felt my whole body turning cold accompanied with an unpleasant feeling of insecurity.

I couldn't keep my eyes away from that person.

Dark hair, fair eyes and tan skin. The last person in the world I would want to see after I had put myself together when he broke me. Dave.

"What do you want?" My voice sounded half scared half rude.

But truth was too many emotions were overcoming me at that very moment. Too many to try and pinpoint each one of them.

"I just saw you here and decided to say hi" He showed me a tiny smile that seemed pretty fake.

"I thought you weren't interested in me because I wasn't good enough for you" My voice was shaking and I couldn't really believe I was just saying that to him, but I managed to add a lot of bitterness to my words. Anger had taken over me and I couldn't stop myself. "Isn't that why you dumped me?"

It made me furious that in the moment when I was my happiest he had to show up. It was almost as if he knew I was happy and it bothered him so much to see that I had moved on after our relationship that he couldn't let me be happy.

The expression on his face at those words made me smirk. He didn't see that coming, did he?

It felt so good to tell him that.

"I saw you and that asshole" Dave said as he scooted closer to me in the bench.

"Watch what you're saying, slinthead" The anger doubled when he insulted Newt. I menacingly pointed a finger at him, trying to show in my face how mad I felt.

I would not allow him to say anything bad about him. No one messes with my friends while I'm around. And less with Newt.

Rolling his eyes, he snapped my hand away and stared at me with his intense blue eyes.

And to think that I used to love those blue eyes. Now all I could see in them was meanness and emptiness when before I could see the world in them.

"You think he really loves you?" He spoke with such force and conviction that I felt my confidence vanishing as it had never been there in the first place.

I felt hurt, just thinking that Newt had been lying to me just like Dave had. That he didn't really even like me. Would he...?

What if he didn't want me anymore after what happened today? What if all he ever wanted was to take me there and then leave me to go after someone better?

No, Newt wasn't like him. He was the complete opposite from him.

"He does" I pipped up, even if my throat had clasped itself together in a tight lump that probably meant I was close to tears already.

All that time trying to recover from the damage he did to me. All those months of forgetting everything and he dared to come back and ruin it all in just a second?

"Does he?"

What if Dave was right? After all Newt felt too good for me, he was so perfect with his imperfections that I didn't really stop to think I wasn't as perfect as him.

"You don't know him, he's not like you" I bitterly said even if I was so affected that I was starting to shake.

He frowned and pursed his lips together in fury.

"I don't need to know him, I know you" He leaned his face closer to mine, too close.

I tried to scoot away from him, but the armrest of the bench was already digging in my back. I was trapped between it and him.

"Shut up" I told him in a whimper, not ready to hear his hurtful words.

I looked away from him, finding his stare disturbing and a little scary.

"You don't deserve him, he's probably dating you out of pity. You're a fool if you think otherwise because it's so obvious. I pity you, and he does too"

With the corner of my eye I noticed he smiled at the sight of my face. Probably because I felt tears in my eyes and he was satisfied with that.

I was perfectly aware that he was the biggest shuck face slinthead shank there ever was. But still, his words hurt. And for some reason I believed him even though I knew all he wanted to do was make me feel miserable.

He had found one of my cracks and was making it bigger until he managed to break my pieces again. Those pieces that all my friends and myself had been trying so hard to glue together after they first broke.

And I was letting him, because I was apparently still a little broken deep inside.

Holding my chin and turning my face so I glared back at him, he kept speaking.

"You'll never be good enough"

I was about to try and push him away sobbing angrily when someone meddled in.

"What the bloody hell is happening here?" Yeah, it was Newt, jumping over some bushes to get to us. He sounded really angry.

Even angrier than when he threw me off of his house. Way angrier.

Angry in a way that scared me because I could barely recognize him. There was barely nothing left of the Newt I knew in him at that moment.

"Newt..." I whispered, feeling such a range of emotions.

I was relieved that Newt was there to get rid of Dave. But I also was afraid and ashamed to be there in front of Newt, I felt vulnerable and useless on his presence again. Just like I did when I fought with Chuck and I broke down that day in my place while listening to Fix You.

Not even laying eyes on me, Newt grabbed Dave by the collar of his blue sweater and yanked him up in a standing position. And then he punched him straight in the face.

I yelped in surprise, covering my mouth with my hands.

Still, the twisted part of me felt such satisfaction when Newt punched Dave that I almost smiled. Almost.

"Get the hell out of here, you bloody twat!" Newt yelled as Dave escaped, slipping on the wet floor but still running away like a scared little shit.

For a few more seconds I didn't move. I was still paralyzed and trying to recover from what had just happened.

I only went back to reality when I heard Newt hissing in pain and mumbling a few swear words, repeating 'bloody hell' over and over again.

He clutched his hand against his chest, he was obviously hurt.

"Your hand!" I finally reacted, standing up from the bench and holding him by the wrist to take a look at his hand.

His knuckles were filled with blood, probably Dave's. And his hand was slightly swollen, maybe he broke a knuckle.

To my surprise, Newt snatched his hand away from my grip.

I couldn't talk for a few seconds as I was too puzzled. What was happening? Why did Newt behave like that all of a sudden?

"What's wrong?" I whispered, and even then my voice broke.

"What's wrong?" He repeated, chuckling in disbelief. "I'll tell you what's bloody wrong, Y/N. You almost kissed that bugging piece of crap twat"

"I wasn't going to kiss him!" I defended myself, but he didn't listen. He was so angry that he just kept talking.

Newt couldn't really think straight when he got so mad.

"If all you wanted was to be with me and use me as a toy while you waited to get back to him, then you're very different from what I thought you were, Y/N" His words held such poison and graveness that I felt a painful pang on my chest, as if my heart was cracking.

I wanted to make him see that I would never go back with that jerk. That I loved him and not Dave. That he didn't have to feel insecure because he was my perfect chocolate boy and would always be. But he was too mad to listen.

"I would never do that. Don't you trust me, Newt?" Deep down it hurt me that, mad or not, he thought I could do such a thing.

"I used to" He held his arm against his chest, holding his hurt hand tightly again.

Then he turned around and proceeded to walk away.

"Wait!" I got out of the tree's shelter and was welcomed by the coldness of the rain falling onto me, hitting my face and cooling down my hot cheeks. "Newt!"

I ran to reach him and held his arm, trying to turn him around to see his brown eyes.

"No, Y/N" Newt didn't even turn around to look at me one more time as he got rid of my grip. "We're done"

"Newt, please!" My voice sounded strangled as I had started to cry. "Wait, Newt! Newt!!"

I opened my mouth to talk again, but realized that the lump in my throat had tightened so much that I wouldn't even be able to strangle any words.

That was the proof that Dave had been right after all. Newt and I weren't meant to be, because he deserved someone better. Who wasn't so broken that just the words of her stupid ex-boyfriend affected her so deeply.

So I stood there under the rain, wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to warm myself up. My tears got confused in my face with the raindrops falling from the sky.

I watched how Newt angrily walked away and felt no more energies left within me to fight for us. Part of me felt guilty for having him put up with my ups and downs, so that part told me to stop fighting. Because I didn't really deserve him anyway.

*

It took a good fifteen minutes until I finally decided to bother someone enough to come pick me up. But I was alone, scared, broken, hurt and in the middle of that cursed park. Not to mention soaking wet as it wouldn't stop heavily raining.

And I was just too shocked and strenghtless to move and sit under that tree again. It felt wrong to go back to that bench where everything went to klunk.

I took out my phone and waited a few seconds until my hands stopped shaking to dial a number.

On situations like those I would only call three people: Newt, Thomas and Minho.

They were the only ones I trusted enough and felt comfortable enough with to let me see me like that. And Newt wasn't obviously an option.

So first I called Thomas. His phone was off.

Hence, I called Minho next. He picked up soon.

"Hi, princess" He happily replied. "What are you up to?"

"Min?" I whispered, realizing how actually broken I was. I couldn't even utter his name without sobbing.

"Y/N" His voice immediately lost all signs of cheeriness and got serious and concerned. "Where are you? What-what happened?"

"I'm in the park that's next to the..." I sniffed through my nose and gave myself a second to put myself together and keep talking. "To the Bliss Café"

"But what happened?"

"Can you just... Just come pick me up, please" I begged him, definitely breaking down.

"Don't move, I'll be there in a flash" Then he hung up and I silently wept as I waited for him.

*

After ten everlasting minutes, Minho arrived with his car.

He opened the passenger's door and I hurried to get in.

Immediately after I got in and put the seatbelt on, Minho drove off.

"Tell me what happened" He urged me, not taking his eyes off the road.

It was obvious by his behavior that he was mad yet worried.

Just like when Thomas hurt his leg. Just that physical pain is not nearly as painful as a broken heart kind of pain.

Minho handed me a towel –I guessed he saw it was raining and brought it for me –, which I used to dry my hair and my face, while he waited for my answer.

He kept his eyes glued to the road, obviously angry judging by the speed he drove with.

"Newt and I broke up" I stared at my feet and focused on not crying in front of Minho. "He saw me with Dave and thought we were back together. He was furious"

"What the shuck were you doing with that klunk-head?" Definitely raging, Minho hit his palm against the steering wheel in frustration.

Maybe it was because I was in a bit of a shock, but I jumped at the sudden movement.

"He just appeared out of nowhere and sat with me" I shrugged, but my voice gave away how miserable and unstable I felt.

My friend remained silent. He clenched his jaw so tight that I saw the bones stand out under his skin.

Minho nervously drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, in my opinion focusing too little on the driving judging by the absent look on his eyes.

Maybe he was just thinking about what happened. But it was always kind of anguishing to be in a car that he was driving. Luckily for me, whenever someone was driving me somewhere, it was Thomas or Alby or someone else. Minho hadn't taken me somewhere in his car ever since that party Newt wanted to go with me to.

Not that I complained, of course. I was just trying to get my mind off it all by thinking about the stupidest thing I could.

"And why did he do that?" My friend finally spoke again.

Before I answered, I took a look at him. His eyebrows were tightly knitted together in apparent concentration, probably trying to slim himself as I could literally feel how tense he was. And I could see it too, he was sitting stiff and holding the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were white.

"He wanted to talk to me"

"To tell you what?"

I took a deep breath and bit my lip, taking my time again before I answered. I needed to tell him and let it off my chest.

"He said I don't deserve Newt, that I'm not good enough for him" I lowly said, fiddling with my own hands. "And that he's with me out of pity"

Minho sharply stopped the car, the sound of the tires squeaking against the road as the car slightly slipped because of the rain.

The both of us were thrown forward, only the seatbelts keeping us from colliding against the windshield. Still, if I didn't lean my hands over the glove compartment, I would have hit my head against it because of the force of inertia when he so abruptly slammed on the brakes.

"Listen to me, Y/N" Minho glared at me, deadly serious. "You're amazing and I don't need to tell you why because deep down you already know even if shanks like him try to make you think the opposite. You're good enough. You're better than that shank Dave. And you definitely deserve Newt. Good that?"

"But what if-?" I began to ask him, truly not minding telling him anymore as the insecurities and the weight on my chest were getting too great to handle.

"I'm not gonna move from here until you understand what I'm saying. Good that?"

"Minho..."

"Y/N!!!"

"Good that" I finally said, intimidated by the fierceness on his voice and face.

For a few more seconds, the tension remained on the air, sharp around us.

Still not changing his expression, he leaned in and gave me a friendly kiss on the cheek.

"If I ever even know you're doubting yourself, I'll personally take care of that, princess"

"Thank you" I gave him a tiny smile, the most I could manage right then.

Minho took a deep breath, strongly holding on to the steering wheel as he calmed himself down a little. Very slowly, he started the car again.

I observed him, knowing that he was still very angry even if he wasn't losing it anymore.

We didn't speak for at least three more minutes, only the low music from his stereo breaking the heavy silence.

Out of nowhere, he snapped.

He must have been thinking about it all, too angry while dwelling on his thoughts.

"I can't freaking believe it, seriously! It's all so freaking wrong! Shuck!" He looked at me sternly and hit his hand against the steering wheel again.

Suddenly, I noticed something was wrong and my stomach tossed around in fear.

"Minho, watch out!"

A dog was for some reason in the middle of the road.

Minho gave the car a sudden turn to avoid hitting the animal.

I remember I thought that it was really ironic that it had happened that to the two of us just like in Paper Towns after I was finished reading the book.

The last thing I recalled was the both of us screaming.