Chapter 3 - Friends Forever

Chapter 3 – Friends Forever.

Later that Night;

Paige Morgan...

My friend had faced the worst thing that I can imagine ever having to face. My heart hurt for her, she seemed so lost today; like a little girl; looking around for help from someone, somewhere. I knew her so well, I knew that she wanted someone, to jump up and say that it had all been some very cruel joke, or a devastating mistake. Of course, no one did, and I was so proud of my dad for the way he had stepped up and was helping her find her footing.

Emily had never lived alone, apart from when she had been at University – she had lived on campus, so she had, had room-mates and that had been a comfort for her. Now she was alone in that huge house her father had bought, she was going to have to learn a whole new degree of things that she hadn't faced before.

I had a very strong opinion that she would be letting the staff, her dad had hired, go. Emily had never felt comfortable having staff running around after her. In all honesty, it would have been far easier for her to just accept that, that was why the staff were there but no, Emily liked to do everything the hard way. My dad had always said that Emily took after her mom in every sense of the imagination – I wish that I could have met Grace, it had been clear to me that my dad; had some very serious feelings for his best friends, wife. If Grace had been the first version of who Emily was, then I could understand why my dad had feelings.

Emily was one of those rare people who just isn't aware of how unique and nice she was. I had seen her volunteer at University Crisis Call Centre and she would take on the people's problems and fight to find a way to help them. It was extremely rare that someone could be so completely committed to being interested and genuinely want to help people.

I can't help but wonder how I would cope when the time comes when my dad won't be here, I can't say the word die, I just can't voice that with my dad in the sentence, I just don't know how Emily is doing it – my sister, Ryan and I both know just how close Emily and Ben were and the loss was going to take a lot of getting used to for her.

Our dad is helping her as much as he can, he had helped her with the funeral planning and I think that he had said, that he was going to crash on her sofa tonight, because he had been worried about her almost catatonic state before the funeral and then the complete and utter break down she had when it had been time to leave the funeral home. Ben had made my dad promise that he would look out for Emily, but my dad wouldn't have needed to be asked; in his eyes, that was the right thing to do, one last thing that he could do for his best friend.

My dad and Ben had grown up together – they had made a pact when they were about to go into high school, that they would always be there for one another and that if needed they would drop everything for one another.

I am worried about my best friend though; I mean obviously she was emotionally upset, but she appeared to be gaunt in her face, her eyes had bags the size of suitcases under them, she appeared a little bit thinner too. Of course, she hadn't been fat before all of this; but now she looked, what I would say; sickly and painfully thin. I had tried talking to her but it was like she was looking through you, almost as if she wasn't aware of you being there. This wasn't who my best friend is; she is the girl who is there for everyone else, she is the one who put things to the side if I had a problem, she is the girl who genuinely cares and always remembers little things about people to start up a conversation the next time she sees them.

Emily was always so positive and like a ball of sunshine; I honestly don't know how she does it. Today though, she was like a completely different person and I didn't know what you make of it.

"Have you tried calling her?" my sister Ryan asked me walking in to the front room of our home.

"Phone is switched off," I nodded.

"What about dad?"

"Same," I knew that they would both be together, "it doesn't mean anything, they are probably just talking about Ben; Emily doesn't have any brothers or sisters, so she has no one to talk too about her dad, at least not on the level of knowing him, the way that dad does!"

"True," Ryan nodded, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure, hit me!"

"Well, was it just me, or did Emily not look.... awful?"

"It wasn't just you," I agreed turning and moving to the sofa with my glass of JD and cola, lighting a cigarette, "you know I thought that it was just me, but no she really looked awful,"

I hate saying that about my best friend, but she really had looked awful. However, I don't know how I will react when I lose our dad. Would I end up being like Emily?

"Do you think that it might be a good idea to go over there tomorrow to see how she is doing?" Ryan suggested, and for the most part it was a good idea, but on the other hand, Emily had made it clear that she wasn't ready to talk to us when she ignored our calls and texts.

I just don't know what to do for the best. Hopefully, dad will come home tomorrow and he can give us a better idea of how she is doing and where her head is at. The very last thing that I want to do is push her when she isn't ready.

Ryan, Dad and myself used to spend summer holidays together with Emily and Ben; those had been amazing times, and the stories that we heard from our dad's about growing up and all the funny stories about things that they had done. I would give anything to hear one of those stories right now. I wish Ben hadn't died, I wish that he hadn't developed cancer and I wish that his treatment had worked.... why? Because then my friend wouldn't be hurting right now. I think that I would give anything to be able to take her pain and hurt away.

"I honestly think that it might be a good idea to wait and see what dad says; I mean, we don't want to push her into something that she is obviously not ready for, you know what I mean?"

"Honestly, I never even thought about that," my sister replied helping herself to a cigarette and lighting up. "What did you think of the funeral?"

"I actually thought it was a beautiful ceremony. Dad's eulogy was just perfect,"

"He did so well,"

"Was there ever really any doubt?" I smiled, dad was an entertainer to his very core and his eulogy had come across the way of a man who has just lost his best friend in the world.

Dad didn't cry – in all our lives I think we have seen him cry less than a handful times, but today he had cried freely and I think that he had just needed to do that; to get it out, I know that he wouldn't have cried in front of Emily, because he wanted to be strong for her, he needed to be strong for her. That is just the type of person dad was; if he made a promise to anyone, he stuck to it – he was very much a man of his word, which is extremely rare in this world.

Ryan 'Morgan' Vent...

Having only gotten married a month ago, it still felt very weird walking in to my dad's home as a guest. That doesn't mean that my marriage was anything less than as happy as I had imagined it before the ceremony.

My husband, was off touring with Five Finger Death Punch; he had taken over the front man role, while Ivan had gone into rehab. The tour would be finished in 2 months, so I couldn't wait until he got home, then we could finally take our honeymoon. Tommy had actually been approached the day before our wedding and offered the spot; he and I had talked it through and both agreed, that it would be great exposure for him and his band, Bad Wolves.

"No never," I replied, as I took a seat across from her and inhaled deeply on my cigarette. I had told myself that I was going to quit, but it had been a stressful couple of weeks to say the least.

Emily was friends with both me and my sister, Paige. We had all grown up together; due to the friendship that our fathers had basically been best friends since birth. We would go on holiday's together, we would share occasions; Christmas, July fourth, Easter, Thanksgiving – and any other holiday that I may have forgotten. Ben and our dad were more like brother's than just best friends, just like Paige and I looking at Emily as if she were our sister and it hurt to know that she was struggling with this and just didn't want us around. We both knew that it was because she hated anyone, even us, to see her so vulnerable.

Paige and I had been there for dad whenever he had wanted or needed us, when he wasn't at the house with Emily. There was no question that he wouldn't be there for her; Ben had asked him to take care of Emily and that is exactly what he would do; because he had promised Ben that he would.

"Do you think dad will be home tonight?" I asked my sister.

"Actually, he said to me at the funeral; that he was going to crash on the sofa; at Ben's house, well Emily's house now,"

"What do you think she will do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we both know that she was never comfortable with having house staff, but there is no way that she can care for that house on her own, with the club opening soon, do you think that she might downsize?"

Emily, had hated the fact that people treated her as some spoilt princess, just because her dad had made a very good living at being a lawyer for the rich and famous. I knew that if she had the choice she would want to downsize but at the same time, she would feel guilty about taking these people's work away from them. I just didn't know what she would do.

"I think she might, but it won't be for a while, she will probably want to stay where she feels closest to Ben," my sister admitted.

"That's what I was thinking," I nodded in agreement.

Paige and I had both tried to get in touch with Emily, we had bordered on stalking at one point, but when dad had told us that she just wasn't doing good but didn't want anyone to see her that way, we had to try and understand that. At the end of the day, we don't know how we would be when it comes to our dad.

I hate the thought of him being gone – the 3 of us are extremely close, I know that it was due to it just being the 3 of us, after mom was committed.

I don't remember everything that happened, but Paige had filled me in – mom had been either as manic as the Tasmanian devil, or as low as Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh series, it was the references that Paige had used to try and make me understand, mom would have dad up in the middle of the night bathing when he had to be at work in 4 hours, she just didn't understand that waking him up and then letting him go back to sleep; was absolutely wrecking him, she would nit pick at the slightest thing and all dad had to do was say one word against her and she'd fly off the handle at him. Once I was old enough to understand; Paige told me of the times that she'd chase dad around the house with a carving knife, and of when they would argue; mom would become almost completely hysterical and try to push dad into hitting her and when he didn't; she would just push that much harder. I am thankful that I was too young to remember the majority of it.

I knew that the final straw had come when mom had been screaming in Paige's face when Paige was itching because she had chicken pox; dad was like enough is enough and he had her committed, which is the best thing for her.

Paige had visited her once; she said that she would never go back, mom had apparently looked at her as if she was something mom had stepped in, she refused to believe that it was her daughter, and that she was still determined to get back at our dad. That thought alone had scared me. What if she managed it?

What would she do?

I refused to go and see her; I didn't want to have a relationship with her. I had grown up without a mom, I don't need one now that I am an adult, besides – Dad had done the very best job that he could and we had never wanted for anything. In dad's eyes, we were his girls and he was more than proud of both of us.

Emily was in good hands with dad, that was the only reason that Paige and I weren't pushing her to see us; because we know how good dad is with her and that he was keeping us informed on how she is doing. All we would do is sit it out and wait for her to come around in her own time.

Last, I had seen at the funeral, was Emily stood at her dad's grave; looking down to the coffin and dad had been slowly approaching her.

"Have you heard from Tommy today?" Paige asked me.

"Not yet, I told him not to call me until later, as I wasn't sure what we would be doing after the funeral,"

"Makes sense," my sister nodded, "is he enjoying the tour?"

"Oh my God, he is loving it – its really what he wants to do and he is so good at it," I explained, "what about Ryan?"

Paige had been dating Ryan for a while, then he had suddenly just dropped off the face of the planet – she couldn't reach him, she tried everything that she could think of; but no result, so she had finally given up and moved forward, which was when she met Charlie.

Charlie was good for my sister; they had met when he had been in Santa Clarita filming on location for his hit show; Sons of Anarchy and it had been almost an instant thing – their eyes met and the rest they say is history. Personally, I think that she is better with Charlie, he has no history of bailing on her and hurting her in the process. However, when Ryan had showed up on the doorstep 3 months ago; I had seen how it had launched my sister in to orbit. Being torn between the two of them, had taken its toll on her and she had basically told the both of them to back off and give her some time.

"I just don't know, Ry. The love I felt for him was like nothing I have ever felt before or after him, but he hurt me, you know?" she asked and I nodded, I didn't want to say anything in case it stopped her talking and I knew that she needed to talk, "and I mean he hurt me so much more than I ever thought that he was capable of doing.

"However, he did and he left and I had to rebuild my life and find a way to move on without him. Then just when I do, just when I am finally moving on and I am happy, damn I was so happy with Charlie – we were talking about our future together, we were talking about maybe getting married, having children and moving in together; it was all that I have ever wanted and then...

"Then he comes back, he walks back into my life as if he hadn't even left, he turns up at the house and he is stood on the doorstep smiling as if all would be forgotten and forgiven. How am I supposed to react? What am I meant to do? I am just feeling like I am being pulled in 2 different directions; on one hand, I have never felt anything like what I felt for Ryan, but at the same time; Charlie came into my life and he healed my heart; which was something that I had never thought was possible,"

I had always gotten along with Ryan, he had been funny and what I had thought, genuine, but the way he walked away from my sister, I felt like I had been an idiot in believing in him.

Charlie on the other hand, was one of the nicest men that you will ever meet and he is genuine; he would do absolutely anything for the people in his life and that type of loyalty is extremely rare, which was demonstrated by Ryan's actions.

In my opinion there was no way that I could ever forgive him, even is Paige does choose him. I just had to hope that she would make the right decision about whom she is going to be with. In my opinion that would be Charlie but my sister has to make the decision herself, and I am saying nothing because I don't want to influence her in anyway.

Even remembering all thatmy sister had been through, it certainly made me happy and realise just howlucky I am to have found the love of my life. Tommy was one of the best men that I have ever known and he is myhusband, I feel extremely lucky and grateful for him being a good guy.