f o u r t e e n

  It was the beginning of April. The beginning of spring. Summer was approaching and I couldn't believe that we were getting married. I'd already found my dress. My white wedding dress. We were out with Irene searching for her dress, as my bridesmaid. Y/N... I'm really tired. Can we go eat something? Irene complained and we sat at a pret et manger. She looked pale and tired. Is everything okay, Irene? She wouldn't answer me. Irene, you know you can talk to me. I won't judge you, like ever. Her eyes shined of happiness. She smiled, her instant previous state being completely faded away. I'm pregnant! She said, excitedly making me jump in my seat. Oh my God! This is so amazing! I knew that she and Mark had been wanting a baby, even though they were really young. Right from the start of their relationship we all could see that they were made for each other.

  I got home, coming across a master chef Jaehyun. Hey baby! You won't believe it! I talked with Mark- I know! Irene told me. I interrupted him all happily. Can you just take a moment and imagine Mark as a father? Geez! He said, laughing. I can imagine him. You'd be a good father too. I said, wrapping my hands around his waist. The smell of chicken and peppers broke my nose. You know, we haven't  use protection a couple of times... Is there any chance...you'd- No, Jaehyun. It's not the time for me, yet. I just need to finish my studies and maintain a career. I turned all serious, helping him with preparing the table. No, it's fine. You're right. It's not like I'm ready either... He paused. But, you want it. I added. It's so cute. He'd be the king of our daughter or the wise teacher of our son. But, I definitely want to have kids with you. He stepped closer to me, kissing me softly. I want to have that, too. I said, returning the kiss.

  Y/N ! Look at this! Jaehyun pointed out a baby girl's dress, as we were window shopping. It's pink and cute. He added, making me giggle. What's wrong with you? Do you want a baby so badly? I laughed. Well, it's just... We are talking about it all day with Mark. He's really excited and he doesn't let any space to talk abkut something else. He felt embarrassed. Let's go for ice cream. I said, hugging him.

  As we were waiting in line, I felt something was off. I looked around but everything seemed right. Y/N, is everything okay? Jaehyun saw my worried face, looking everywhere I was staring at. No, it's fine. I lied, turning my sight to all the delighted flavours of ice cream. As Jaehyun was taking our order, I looked away deep in the woods of the park near us. And I stood frozen. I grabbed Jaehyun's arm, making him jump. What is it Y/N ? He held my hand, as my eyes were locked far in the park. Jae-Jaehyun. It's.. It's Clarke. My voice trembled as I spelled out his name. Suddenly, every memory of his I got popped up vibrantly in my head, making me cry.

   We were sitting on a bench, having lost contact of Clarke. Jaehyun was feeding me my ice cream, a sweet gesture that calmed me down. If he comes even a kilometer near you, he's dead. Jaehyun said straightforwardly. Let's go home. I'm scared. I told him and we did.

  I couldn't sleep. Jaehyun had wrapped me around his arms, which made the darkness feel like nothing, but still in my head the darkness was starting to spread once again. I was afraid, that If I closed my eyes, he'd appear in my nightmares. Why was he back in our life? I was almost sure that he was completely gone out of it. I was scared that he would hurt Jaehyun.