o n e

   Come on Y/N ! It's going to be fun! Join us! Irene insisted on as I had no intention into going at Mark's party. Mark looked at me and rolled his eyes in exasperation as I was still not willing to go. Why are you so boring Y/N? Yuta exclaimed which made me feel really bad. I got really angry and stood up from the green grass of the football field, where we're all relaxing cleaning off my jeans and walking away. Yah! Where are you going? Yuta shouted. HOME! I said, without looking back.

  I got home, heading straight away to my room closing the door furiously. I was angry with myself. I always avoided parties, drinking, games even smoking cause I was afraid of losing that purity of mine. I was a freaking loser, for not even having a boyfriend. All of my friends had done even the smallest thing. I was so behind our times. And that's what was keeping me from having fun. I admitted to myself all those things, so I could take it off of me.

   It was almost 9pm and I was sure the others were getting ready for the party. Why was I hurting myself so much? Why was I so afraid of growing up? I was 18 for God's sake. My parents were downstairs laughing and having a good time,while watching a movie. They asked me what I had planned for my Friday night, but I had no interest in telling them my foolish thoughts. I even pitied them for having me as a daughter. They would expect me to bring a boyfriend at home, or at least ask them to get home after midnight, but no. I prefered staying at home and studying. On a Friday night. Loser.

   The clock was ticking so annoyingly. As if it reminded me how easily I was wasting my time. I tried focusing on my maths problem, but my mind had clearly deeper problems that needed solving. Screw this! I threw away my notebook and stood up, burying myself in my wardrobe. I was going to that freaking party.

   I had no idea of what to wear and I instantly regretted not asking for Irene to help me when she gave me one chance. Should I text her? Or, should I ask my mother? Not by any freaking chance Y/N... I sighed and looked at the clothing mountain on my bed.

   It was quite cold outside, but my determination had made me thoroughly forgotten to get a warm jacket. Mark's house was not so far away from mine. The music could be heard from three blocks behind and it made me wonder how none of the neighbors had felt annoyed. I arrived at his house, feeling a cold anxiousness getting a hold of my insides. The door was open so I wasn't afraid of the thought of me getting no answer from ringing the bell. The music was hitting on my ears and my eyes were aching from the smoke. Everyone was dancing, clearly drunk as fuck. I tried searching for my friends, but I started losing all hope. I headed to the table where all the drinks were half empty. Suddenly, I felt two strong hands grabbing my shoulders. I can't believe it! You made it! Mark shouted in excitement and hugged me tightly. Let me take your jacket and bag. He said and winked. I slightly smiled at him and gave him my things. Irene and the others are playing beer pong. Wanna join? He asked, but I prefered starting low key. I poured myself some drink, which I assumed was vodka and added some cherry juice. Being the loser I was, I took a strong sip not caring for the consequences. As it headed down to my sore throat, I started enjoying it and couldn't help but drink more. My head was lighter and suddenly all problems were gone. I started dancing with strangers and I heard voices applauding my moves. Why the actual hell had I been avoiding all these? Oh my God! She's actually here! I recognised Irene's figure through my blurry image and hugged her.

   We were moving our bodies to the grand beat of the deep house music that made my heart gain a new beating tempo. Everyone was shouting and laughing and I was one of them. I had even lost track of my drinking. And suddenly the consequences were brought to the surface. I desperately tried to find the bathroom, to suck out all the dizziness of the enjoyment that was instantly lost. Right just when I found the WC I bent on my knees, regretting every decision I had made at that party. The music was echoing from outside the door and the voices of the people were suddenly scaring me. I threw up more than 4 glasses of vodka and another hundreds of tears. I looked myself in the mirror and laughed at the ugly face that had messed mascara on. I opened the door and passed through the crowd, looking for fresh air. I wasn't feeling great, but I was starting to gain my consciousness. I was extremely cold and I had no idea where my jacket was. I lied on the grass and starred at the bright starry night. It was genuinely beautiful. Between my dizziness and my conscious state I felt a presence near my body. I turned my face to my right and saw a guy lying next to me. Getting laid tonight? He asked, which made me blush. Kind of. I answered, without knowing what to say in exact. I saw you had a lot of fun in there. He said. And who are you? I asked, my body freezing. You're cold? He said and immediately took of his leather jacket, making me to sit properly so I could put it around my shoulders. Um, thank you. I said, blushing. I focused my eyes on him, getting a glimpse of him. His skin was pale, his hair a soft light brown shade and his beige turtle neck gave out an elegant aura. He was looking at me, making me turn away shyly. You're pretty. He said, making me feel so fluttered for the first time in my life. No one has ever said something like that before. I let my thoughts be heard and I felt so stupid for saying that out loud. I  think I should get going. I said, trying to stand up. Though I lost my balance, the handsome dude managed to help me. Can you go home, are you sure? He asked, holding me in his embrace. Yeah, yeah. I let out those words, as embarrassment had taken over me. I just need to get my things. Where's Mark? I started walking back inside the house. I spotted him making out with someone, but unfortunately I would have to ruin it. I felt a hand grabbing my arm. I turned around and met eyes with the handsome dude. Don't ruin it. Let's go find your clothes. Upstairs. He said and I looked at him in confusion. I pushed him away, angrily. What was that for? He asked, while following me upstairs to Mark's room. JEEZ, If you want a girl to fuck just stay away from me. I said and he started laughing. What made you think I want that? He asked, blocking my way from Mark's room. I rolled my eyes and looked at him in disappointment. Just get away from me! I told him, pushing him away, opening the door and running to find my things in the loads of jackets. Let me just help you okay? He said. No need to. I said putting on my jacket and taking my purse. Let me drive you home at least. He asked, but I ran out of the house as if no one was talking to me. Unfortunately I could feel his presence behind me. What do you want? I shouted at him. I turned around and looked at him in awe. He was so handsome, damn. Why are you so furious? He asked, our bodies some metres away from each other. I'm not furious, I'm tired. I said, walking slowly to the opposite way. He grabbed my arm and softly turned me around. Would you give me your number? Or, at least your name? He demanded. You perv. I got away from him, feeling quite amused on the inside. Have you heard a statement called a guy is following you cause he's clearly interested in you? My heart stopped and I felt my legs shaking. What did he just say? What? I said, looking at him. Actually gazing at him. You're interested in me? I stared blankly at him. Obviously. He stated, coming closer. I'm Jaehyun. He said, smiling. Um, I'm Y/N. Nice name. He said. When can I see you again? He continued. I don't know... I looked away, as his eyes were intensively staring at me. Could I have your phone number? He asked and I nodded as he gave me his cellphone to type down the digits. Perfect. He said and smiled. I guess, we'll talk. I looked shyly at him, while walking away excitedly nervous for what had just happened.

  I arrived at home, falling onto my bed and staring at my phone. Would I be too desperate if I sent him a message? I placed my phone on my night stand and hid under my blankets. I switched off the light and slightly closed my eyes. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. My whole body jumped off the blanket and grabbed the phone. It was a message. From Jaehyun.

“Sweet dreams”