Guillotine

The night seemed to never end. Keith got separated from Lance a while ago and was just nursing a drink to himself in what was the equivalent of the corner of the area that they were in.

It wasn't like Keith was going out of his way to be like this, he just wasn't good at the whole 'let's go out to a party and get wasted' kinda thing. He would try though, he would smile at people he accidentally made eye contact with, chat with a few people who bothered with him, and occasionally walked around with one of his teammates if when they checked up on him. He would mostly just follow to look around for Lance though, the Cuban hadn't stopped once to look for Keith to check up on him or steal a little romantic moment with the shorter male and Keith was just shy of getting worried.

It's a party and we're trying to make a good impression, nothing terrible could possibly be happening, he thought to himself, frowning slightly into his drink.

Then he heard it, clear as a bell and brighter than a sunny day with no clouds in the sky.

It was Lance. Well, his laugh so to speak.

It hadn't even been two vargas but Keith really missed that laugh. And Lance, Keith already missed Lance. He craved that laugh that heat that came off of the lips that the laugh burst from. Keith allowed himself a small smile before walking in the direction of the musical noise that his boyfriend made, still holding his cup in his hand as he weaved through the hot, sweaty people moving on the dance floor.

"Lance!" he shouted, trying to be heard over the hazy noise. When he was close enough to see Lance's smiling face he reached his arm out and grabbed onto Lance's who had taken off his jacket, leaving them bare. The little freckles seemed to shimmer under the light of the colorful gemstones.

"Hey Keith!" Lance yelled, clearly a little intoxicated. Man, what was in those drinks? Whatever it was Keith had quite some and just seeing Lance made him feel super confident. So when he got a good grip on Lance's arm he pulled the taller male down and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. It was just a peck, but Keith felt so giddy for some reason, he was just happy to have found Lance and be next to him again. Be with him.

"Lance? Who...what was that?" An alien walked up to them, he had blue skin and fins. His teeth were pointed like that of a shark but he also walked on two legs, had clear bright green eyes, and soft green hair swept to the side. He wore baggy jeans and a loose white T-shirt that showed off his biceps.

"Uh, this is Keith. Sorry that was nothing, he just...he's drunk and wasn't thinking, it was just an accident. He forced it on," Lance panicked a little, pulling away from the shorter male and taking a slight step towards the other man.

"Do you want me to do something about...him?" the alien asked, slipping a hand on the small of Lance's back. But before he could answer Keith was off, he speed walking (practically running) away from the pair, he had long since dropped his still half full cup on the ground somewhere, but he didn't really think about that right then. He didn't really think about anything other then to get away right then. Get away from the party, the noise and the colors. Get away from everyone. Away from Lance's new friend. Lance.

God I'm so dumb! Why did I let this happen? I did this, I let myself be opened to this feeling which only caused me pain. This...this...is this it? It's only just begun and now it's over, Keith thought ruefully as he broke out into a full out sprint once he was in a less densely populated area, keeping his head down as he did so.

He didn't know how long he had been running. All that he knew was that he was breathless, on a hill with no trees, it was raining, and he was far away from the festival, far away from Lance and the huge mistake that he made by letting himself be vulnerable in front of Lance. To Lance. About Lance.

It was pouring before Keith had even realized it, the rain hit him hard, pouring over his as he cried and cried. Large crocodile tears fell faster than he could handle, he could feel the whimpers and the screams vibrate in his vocal cords, although he couldn't hear any of the noises that escaped his lips. Keith fell to his knees, holding himself as he let the storm rip his cries from him and carried them away in the wind. Carry away his tears with the torrent. Keith was shaking violently, shivering from the rain and the force of the tears that wouldn't stop toppeling down his face and dripping off of his chin.

"Keith? Keith is that you?" someone called. Keith just got up from where he had collapsed onto the ground and turned around, facing the familiar voice as he kept hugging himself.

"Go away Lance!" Keith called.

"Keith listen, I'm sorry!"

"No Lance, sorry isn't going to fix this!"

"Please! I was out of my mind! I did a terrible, stupid thing and I wish that I could take it back."

"Well you can't! God, I keep allowing you to break my heart! I keep allowing myself to get close to you and then get crushed, over and over again. And I can't stop because it's addicting, you're addicting! And I can't let you go no matter how much it hurts me not to!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Keith! I hate how much I hurt you and I want to change that! I don't want to keep hurting you and making you closed off to me. I want things to be right between us!"

"Do you even want there to be anything between us? How do I not know that this isn't all some-some...dumbass game that you're playing with me?"

"It's not! I'll do anything to show you that I'm not messing around with this! What do you want me to do to prove that I want you?"

"Just tell me the truth Lance! Just tell me how you really feel! Do you want this? This-this thing between us? Or are you going to play it off like that everytime we're in public? I get that you don't want to tell the team, hell I don't want to tell them yet, but that was beyond trying to cover up our relationship! Just be honest, do you even like me in the slightest romantic way?" Keith asked, desperation clawing at his throat causing his voice to crack as his tears continued to mix with the rain.

"I know I fucked up, especially everything that we went through and that promise, but the truth is...the truth is that I love you Keith Kogane," Lance breathed, the heavy rain making it a little hard to hear him.

"You don't love me Lance!" Keith yelled, more tears dripping down his chin. "A month ago we were at odds, constantly fighting and hating each other's guts, and now we're in a romantic relationship with each other. Hell, we only made that official between us today! You can't love me Lance, you don't even know me!"

"Yes I do! I've known who you are since the Garrison. Not just of you, but you!" Lance called, walking closer as Keith just shook his head, not meeting the Cuban's eyes.

"I don't even know me! You can't know, can't love, a person who doesn't know themselves!" Keith cried, taking a step back when Lance reached an arm out for the Korean.

"Maybe you don't know you yet, but all that matters is that I do. I know that you are a determined, kind, hotheaded (and hot) person who deserves so much more than me. But for some reason you did choose me, and I don't blame you if you regret that choice now. But I fell in love with you the day I first saw you and the more I got to know about you, the more I learned, the deeper I fell. So please, forgive me, I love you and I want to make this right. I know you and I love you and I feel terrible about this, so let's talk about what happened," Lance said, finally resting his hand on Keith's arm.

"But Lance I don't think I love you," Keith wailed, his body still shaking from crying so hard.

"Hey, that's okay. You don't need to love me, that's fine. But let's just talk about this," Lance reassured, pulling Keith into his chest, hoping that the shorter male couldn't hear the sound of his heart breaking inside of it at his words.

"No I mean, I'm not in love with you, but I love a lot of the little things you do, and your quirks, and so many things. I love them all, but I don't think I'm in love, I don't know what that feels like, but I'm pretty sure it's not what I'm feeling. But I know...I know I have the capability of falling deeper then I already have," Keith mumbled into Lance.

The Cuban just looked up as the rain kept pouring and held his lover close, sighing with relief. "That's good enough for me Keith, that's all I need."

Keith nodded into his chest, the neverending tears kept slipping from his eyes. "Thank you for being patient."

"Anything for mi amor," Lance kissed his forehead and swayed with him in the rain. Keith began humming the lullaby, their song, as they danced together, every moment being cherished by the two boys.

"I still don't think I can forgive you," Keith croaked after a while, his voice was hoarse after all of the crying and screaming. "But we really should get out of the rain."

"You don't need to forgive me, let's just talk."

"Talking isn't going to change this Lance, I need a while to think. Right now we need a little space to...to think."

"Space is beautiful Keith, but the one that you're asking for might tear us apart," Lance said in a small voice, holding he shorter male closer to his chest. "Just please talk to me. Please, I'm begging. I will always beg for your forgiveness, and I'm not letting one of my stupid mistakes rip a hole in us."

"I just don't think I can talk right now," Keith whispered, tears threatening to spill again.

"Then let's not talk right now, but please just stay in my arms. Just for the rest of tonight, stay here with me. I can't be without you Keith, I don't know when this happened but now I feel like I can't even breathe if you're not with me when I'm not sure that we're okay. That you're okay. So just stay, for a moment longer. You can hate me and not forgive me, but god whatever you do, don't leave me. Just dance with me and pretend that the world doesn't exist" Lance begged.

Keith buried his head into the crook of Lance's neck. "Okay. But just for tonight. I'll stay tonight.After that, there was no going back.

"Can we talk in the morning?"

"We can talk after breakfast because you will be hungry and unreasonable."

Lance groaned playfully, laughing deeply as he spun Keith around in circles under the rain. To the outside world they looked completely in love, like a true, happy, romantic couple who could never be far apart. And for the most part that was true, but the outside world couldn't see the fear or the confusion that lingered in each of their souls. Each of their hearts. They couldn't see the long road that was ahead of the two paladins. They could only see a couple so obsessed with each other that it was hard to believe that they weren't already married (or at least engaged) to one another.

Keith was yelling for Lance to stop with a goofy smile in his face.

Lance just kept going and looked at Keith like he was the only other person in all of time.

Their love was the perfection in chaos.

The beauty in disaster.

The organization in a mess.

Their love was the clarity, the light, through the storm clouds the hung across the sky above them.

They were out there for hours, dancing brokenly as the downpour stayed at a steady beat of practically flooding the entire planet. And when they did eventually get back to their shared room at the hotel (hotel?) the team was staying, in they were soaking wet and had the largest lovesick expressions painted across their faces.

Keith was still hurt, he hadn't forgiven Lance yet. And Lance was still beating himself up about what had happened. But neither of them wanted to dwell on it right then, they just stayed captivated with each other as they bided their time until morning.