11th March 1950

Chapter 11

11th March 1950

"Perrie?!" Her voice sounded incredulous.

I knew if I turned around and saw her I wouldn't be able to leave, so I took another step forward, towards the courtyard, but I staggered and leaned against the doorframe trying to regain my strength.

I felt her hands supporting me and I gasped, her touch brought back too many good memories that were then painful knowing how it had ended. I sighed and turned around finally seeing her stunning face. Her gaze turned to shock and I saw her eyes become watery.

"Oh my God" she gasped bringing a hand to her mouth, "Perrie, what happened?" she asked.

"Nothing. I have to go" I told her coldly.

"No, you're not going anywhere until you tell me what happened"

"You have no right to tell me what to do!" I snapped at her and saw her flinch.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "You're right. I'm sorry" she lowered her gaze, "Please, just tell me what happened" she begged.

"It's nothing serious" I repeated.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" she shouted and I opened my eyes wide back remembering my father's screams.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to scream" she leaned closer and I let her, "Let me help you, alright?" she offered me her hand and after long moments of thought I accepted it. She walked me to the couch where I had spent the night.

"Who did this?" she asked, sitting beside me on the sofa and stroking my face where the bruises were visible.

I hesitated and didn't answer, "Was it Chris?" she asked but I shook my head and denied it, "Perrie, is he violent to you?" she demanded again.

"No. He didn't do it. And no, he isn't violent to me, nor has he ever been" I said firmly.

"So were you assaulted?" her eyes filled with concern and then I saw her gasp, "Oh my God, Perrie! Did someone... Did someone rape you?" she asked with panic in her voice.

"What? No! No!" I spoke wildly hoping she would put that thought out of her mind, I saw the tears fall from her eyes and saw her let out a sigh of relief.

"My father" I admitted, knowing that if I didn't speak she would think of a million horrible possibilities, "I told him I wanted to file for divorce and... well, he didn't take it well" I said sarcastically.

"That wasn't the first time, was it?" she asked empathetically, I sighed and nodded admitting the truth.

Jade squeezed my hand and looked at me gently, I pulled my hand away because every minute I spent with her made it harder to have to leave.

"Sorry, I have to go" I told her in the end.

I stood up and wobbled to the door, "I'm sorry" I heard her murmur and turned around to find her with red, swollen eyes and fresh tears framing her face. I closed my eyes and sighed, ready to get out of that laundry and out of her life.

"I'm in love with you too"

I heard the words and stood still, my heart sped up like a train and I thought I might have a heart attack right then. I didn't look at her but felt her gaze on me, "I tried so hard to forget you but it was hopeless" she continued, "I left because I wanted it to be easier for you, I hoped that one day you would forget me and move on and have your best life"

The emotion was evident in her voice and I felt tears wet my face. I was silent for what seemed like hours and I saw her wiping away tears again and again, as soon as she brushed some off, new ones appeared.

"I don't want a life in which you're not in it" I told her in a broken voice, "I want to see you when I wake up first thing in the morning, I want you to read to me and tell me about your dreams, I want to cook with you and take Jasmine to our place, I want to watch her grow up and see you become a teacher, I want to see you grow old, with grey hair and a face full of wrinkles and I want to see this world change with you by my side" I finally admitted.

Jade looked at me and sobbed, I saw her get up and move towards me, then take my face and bring it close to hers, finally, after months, I felt her lips on mine again and there was no feeling comparable in beauty or happiness.

I smiled into the kiss and hoped it would never end, but it did when we heard someone coughing behind us, we pulled away immediately and saw Norma in the doorway looking at us with a smile.

"Mom!" her daughter shouted, "This is so embarrassing" she covered her face and I felt mine turn the colour of a ripe tomato.

"Don't mind me, ladies" she laughed at us, "Now before this goes on I have three things to say. First, Perrie dear, if you break my daughter's heart I will look for you in every wasteland on this planet" she said to me and I swallowed at her stern look, "Second, Jade dear, if you leave this girl again I will take you back there by the ears and kick your ass until it turns the colour of Perrie's face"

Jade nodded frantically and I hoped to find a good hiding place, "Third, Perrie, you really should go to the hospital now" she told me with a caring and comforting look.

"Wait. Hospital?" Jade asked worriedly.

I took a deep breath and prepared to tell her the news, "I'm pregnant" I admitted.

Her mouth made an o-shape and she stood still for a couple of seconds, then she went into panic mode and started ranting, "Oh God! Oh my God! The baby! We have to check that the baby is okay!" she screamed.

"Okay, Jade calm down. I'm going now" I told her quietly.

"I'll take you" she said leaving no way to protest and I nodded.

"And girls" Norma spoke, "I'm so happy" she told us with a huge smile which we returned as she came to hug us.

"The taxi has arrived" someone on the other side shouted.

We looked at each other and looked at Norma, "Well you certainly couldn't walk" she said wryly.

"I don't have any money" I admitted remembering walking out of the Pinnock house without money, ID or even a jacket.

"I'll do it" Jade said, I refused several times but finally convinced me by saying we had no other options, which was true.

Jade held my hand the whole way and I couldn't help but notice the disapproving look from the man driving but I tried to ignore it, the same thing happened as soon as we arrived at the hospital, the nurses welcomed us but when I said Jade was accompanying me they were reluctant to let her in, eventually we were able to convince them.

"Good morning miss" the doctor greeted and smiled at Jade and I, I was surprised but pleasantly amazed at his attitude and I relaxed, "I have to ask your friend to go to the other side of the cot, what happened miss?" he asked politely.

"I am pregnant" I replied, "And last night I had... an argument"

"With your husband?" she asked with compassion.

I shook my head, I saw understanding in her gaze, "With my father" I admitted.

"I see... have you had any bleeding?" I shook my head, "Cramps or stomach pains?" again I denied, "Well...does it hurt if I touch you here?" he said lifting my dress and resting his hands on my belly and I saw Jade looking at him with cold eyes checking his every movement. I replied that I had no pain and he smiled gently.

"Well miss, there don't seem to be any problems, if you have any bleeding or cramping you need to come to the hospital, otherwise relax and try to live a peaceful life, I'll prescribe you some hormones to help the pregnancy and lower the risk of miscarriage" I thanked him and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?" Jade asked me apprehensively.

"I am now" I smiled. She smiled back and helped me up, the doctor returned with the medication and told me to take one pill a day until the pregnancy was over, we thanked him and left.

"Do you feel up to walking or do you want me to call a taxi?" the brown-haired woman asked me.

"I can make it" I reassured her, "And we're not far away" I smiled.

"I'll walk with you then" she said in a firm voice.

"Jade, Chris might be home" I warned her with concern.

"I don't care, I won't let you go alone" she said without leaving room for reply.

We arrived in front of my house and I took the spare keys from the place behind the mat, opened it and went inside looking around to see if Christopher was there, the lights were off and I turned on the lamp on the dresser at the entrance, I found a note in my husband's handwriting warning me that he had to leave and that he would call in the afternoon to hear from me.

I sighed and warned Jade that she could come in.

I saw her looking around and observing the living room, then she walked me to the couch and sat me down before disappearing into the kitchen and returning with water and biscuits, I thanked her and asked if she wanted any to which she agreed.

"Do you want to talk about your father?" she asked. I shook my head feeling tears burning in my eyes and felt Jade's hand on mine, I intertwined our fingers and her thumb began to draw soothing circles on the back of my hand. "Alright, but if you ever want to talk about it I'm here" she told me in a soft, reassuring voice.

I thanked her and relaxed by her presence with me until, a few minutes later, we both stiffened at the sound of footsteps from upstairs.

Jade stood up and became defensive as the footsteps became louder and louder, I began to break out in a cold sweat wondering who could be there and felt my breathing quicken as I thought I was about to pass out, I saw a flash of blonde hair and then... my mother.

"Perrie!" she shouted when she saw me, "Are you alright, my child?" she asked with concern.

I saw Jade clench her fists but immediately relax when she heard me, "Mom, it's okay. What are you doing here?"

"I've been trying to find you all night with Chris, Jesy and Leigh-Anne but we didn't know where you were and we were worried, Chris offered me to stay here for the night" she said soothingly, "Where have you been?"

"This is Jade, mum, a friend of mine" I said taking a deep breath, my mother turned to Jade finally acknowledging her presence and smiled at her, Jade smiled back in amazement, "I just happened to end up in the laundry where she and her mother work and they took care of me"

"Thank you, dear" my mother said looking at Jade who nodded uncertain of what to do, "Thank your mother too" she smiled gratefully.

"I have already been to the hospital, the baby is fine" I reassured my mother. I saw her relax and smile and sit down on the sofa, next to me, then she looked at Jade who had been standing there looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Sit down, dear" my mother pointed to the armchair in front of us, Jade did as suggested and made herself comfortable even though I knew she was dying inside.

"Perrie, I think we should talk about last night" my mother said calmly. I shook my head and closed my eyes trying to push the memories away.

"Did he hurt you?" I asked her worriedly.

"No, no. Chris stepped in and pushed him away" for the first time I felt an appreciation towards my husband and mentally marked myself to thank him as soon as he called.

"If you've decided to file for divorce that's fine, I'll support you, and I'll support you also if you don't" she said looking into my eyes with intention, "But we have to be careful with your father" she lowered her gaze, I squeezed her hand and nodded.

"What should we do?" I asked her.

"Give me a few days to think about it, dear" she said encouragingly.

I thanked her and shortly afterwards she got up and went to the kitchen leaving me and Jade in a silence full of tension and unspoken questions, she came back with three cups of tea and placed them on the centre coffee table, then went to the phone and I heard her talking to Jesy to let her know I was back and well.

When she returned she sat down and turned to Jade, "So dear what's your name?" she asked.

"Jade Thirlwall, ma'am" she replied politely.

"Nice to meet you, Jade. I'm Deborah, how do you know my daughter?"

Jade and I looked at each other for a second, trying to figure out how to handle the situation, then she turned to my mother, "Perrie helped me a few months ago after a bad situation and from there we befriended each other" she replied without meeting my gaze.

I looked at my mother who seemed intrigued and eventually smiled, "I see, thank you for taking care of her tonight" she told her again and Jade nodded back. "Now that I know you're alright," she turned to me, "I'd better get home"

"Mom, this could be unsafe" I said alarmed.

"Don't worry my child, I know how to handle the general" she smiled and looked at me with determination, "I will call you later tonight. Rest and eat" she said in a motherly tone, "Jade, please make sure my daughter is taking care of herself" she smiled warmly.

"Of course, ma'am. It was a pleasure to meet you" Jade smiled, offering her hand.

"You too, dear" my mother shook her hand warmly before waving goodbye and walking out.

We were silent for a few more seconds before we both sighed and burst out laughing, "Wow! That was intense" Jade laughed.

"And awkward" I added feeling the tension leave my body.

"Your mother seems kind" she told me sincerely.

"Yes... she has been my only comfort for a long time and I am grateful for our relationship" I told her honestly.

"Are you afraid of losing her?" Jade then asked me with seriousness in her voice, "You know, if she knew about us"

I sighed and closed my eyes thinking about my mother's possible reactions, then looked at her and nodded.

"Take your time, Perrie. You don't have to tell her" she encouraged me.

I nodded and dropped the subject, "I need a hot bath" I said heading for the stairs.

I reached the bathroom and turned on the water to fill the tub, shortly after I felt two soft arms wrap around my stomach and her chin resting on my shoulder, I sighed and closed my eyes enjoying her closeness, then I felt her move and undo my dress, letting it fall to the floor.

She did the same with my underwear and when the tub was full she helped me in, I stepped into the warm water and looked towards her finding her observing my body tracing the bruises with her fingers.

I lifted her chin forcing her to look into my eyes, "Don't think about it, okay? It's over and I'm fine" I told her, smiling wearily.

She nodded and stroked my hair, making me relax at her touch, "You should invite your mother over for dinner, I'd like to see Jasmine if that's okay with you" I told her imploringly.

She smiled and nodded, continuing to caress me until I fell asleep.

I woke up a few hours later in my bed in soft pyjamas, I looked around piecing together the memories and remembered falling asleep with Jade caressing me, immediately panic set in as I couldn't find her next to me, I got up and ran down the stairs.

I checked the living room and didn't find her, I started to hyperventilate until I heard noises coming from the kitchen, I went that way and there I saw her cooking with the music of the radio in the background.

I stood admiring her wanting to memorise the moment and watched her lips move to the song, That's My Desire by Ella Fitzgerald, I smiled to myself thanking for the opportunity to see that carefree side of Jade, promising never to take anything for granted.

When she turned around and saw me her face widened into a warm smile and I couldn't help but reciprocate the same expression, she walked over and took my hand spinning me around and then placing me in front of her, she placed her free hand on my back and I placed mine on her shoulder and we danced to the beat of the music.

https://youtu.be/Sw-Pxs1EKys

She leaned closer to me and I heard her whisper the lyrics of the song in my ear, discovering a new favourite sound.

"We'll sip a little glass of wine, I'll gaze into your eyes divineI'll feel the touch of your lips pressing on mine" she sang and I was delighted to listen.

"God, Jade, your voice is so beautiful" I told her ecstatically as she finished singing, I saw a blush colour her cheeks as she shook her head wrinkling her nose making her the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Do you want to hear another song?" she asked with a smirk and I frowned in confusion but nodded smiling at her.

"Well, it goes something like this" she said with a giggle before starting to sing.

https://youtu.be/gkPCmIxv-3k

"I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumbI got something between my legs'll make a dead man cumOh, daddy, baby, won't you shave 'em dry?Now, draw it out!Want you to grind me, baby, grind me until I cry

Say I fucked all night, and all the night before, babyAnd I feel just like I wanna, fuck some moreOh, great God daddy, grind me, honey, and shave me dryAnd when you hear me holler, baby, want you to shave it dry" she finished singing and started laughing at me and my bewildered expression.

"Oh my God, Jade! You just made that up!" I exclaimed laughing, trying to mask my embarrassment but failing miserably.

"No! I swear! It's a song from the 1920s by Lucille Bogan, she was a classic American blues singer and composer, among the first to be recorded" she said again barely holding back her laughter.

"I still think you just invented it but I'll pretend to believe you" I smiled teasing her as her laughter filled the room at my embarrassed expression. When she calmed down her eyes became the sweetest again. 

"Were you able to sleep?" she asked lovingly. I nodded smiling at her, "I called the laundry, my mum will be here with Jasmine as soon as she finishes my shift, she has replaced me for the day"

"Poor Norma, how many hours has she been working?" I asked her worriedly.

"Eighteen" she said distraught.

"That woman is to be admired" I told her bewildered and Jade laughed at my expression.

"She really is" she smiled, "I'm glad that, of all places, you happened to be there" she looked at me regretfully.

"I'm beginning to think fate wanted us to meet" I smiled and Jade joined in.

"Yes, it seems that way" she said in the end.

"Can I help you?" I asked her referring to the food.

She shook her head and kissed me chastely, "No, sit and marvel!" she joked as she walked me to my chair and I laughed at her bizarre enthusiasm.

A few hours later we were sitting on the couch waiting for Norma and Jasmine, Jade had finished cooking and left things in the oven for them to stay warm, I heard the phone ring and got up.

"Hello?"

"Perrie! How are you? How's the baby?" I heard Chris's concerned voice.

"We're fine, thanks" I replied, "I have to thank you for helping my mother last night and for looking for me" I told him sincerely.

"You don't have to thank me... Perrie I know things are not good between us, but I would never want to see you hurt" he told me sincerely and I could hear the honesty in his voice. I didn't answer knowing he wasn't done.

"I will be gone a couple of months, but I would like you to call me if your father tries anything again" he added, "I want you and the baby to be safe"

"Thank you" I replied gratefully, "Really, Christopher, I don't know what would have happened to my mother if you hadn't held him back. I will always be grateful to you for that"

"It's alright, Perrie. I'll call you in the next few days. Keep me updated on your condition and the baby's" I nodded then remembered that he couldn't see me and answered affirmatively before saying goodbye and ending the call.

"Are you okay?" Jade asked hugging me from behind.

"Yes, everything is fine. He's been nice, I guess in some ways he really cares" I reflected aloud and felt Jade stiffen, I turned and looked her in the eyes, "I just mean he's been nice to help my mum, but you're the only one I want to be with, Jade. I'm in love with you" I told her sincerely, then took her lips in mine and kissed her with passion and feeling, biting her lip and tearing a whimper.

The kiss was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell, I went to the door to welcome Norma and finally see Jasmine again, but was surprised when I found my mother standing in front of me.

I felt the blood drain from my face and worry in my bones, "Are you all right?" I asked her in a panic.

"Of course, dear, don't worry!" she said smiling at me, "I just came to check on you, I didn't want you to be alone" she said entering the house without me inviting her. She froze when she saw Jade smiling embarrassed, "Oh, I see you're not, I'm glad" she smiled.

"Good evening, Mrs Edwards" Jade greeted.

"Good evening, dear. I appreciate you staying to check on my daughter... and what a lovely smell!" my mother said as she went into the kitchen. "What's this about?"

"A recipe from my grandmother, ma'am" Jade replied trying to look calm but I could see the unease in her eyes.

"Sounds great, you should teach Perrie!" my mother smiled "Where are you from, Jade?" she asked looking at the brunette next to me.

"My father was British, he came to Egypt with the British army in '28 and met my mother, during the war he served in the Suez Canal areas and when the UK withdrew its troops he came back here taking us with him" Jade explained hesitantly waiting for my mother's reaction.

"Oh, a troubled love story then" she said softly.

"Yes, ma'am, the families were not in favour"

"I guess... but they triumphed. Lovely!" she exclaimed and Jade and I looked at each other wordlessly. "I am very sorry for your loss, dear" my mother added sympathetically.

"Thank you, ma'am" Jade smiled.

The doorbell rang again just then and Jade and I looked at each other not knowing what to do, it didn't help to make a decision because my mother overtook both of us and went to the door, I hurried to follow her but by the time I reached her she had already thrown the door, wide open standing still, observing the two people in front of her.

"Do we have guests?" she asked confused and I saw Norma's face pale and hesitant.

I looked down and saw little Jasmine staring at my mother curiously, then her eyes fixed on me and I saw a huge smile spread across her tiny face.

"Perrieeee!" Jasmine exclaimed, running into the house and throwing herself into my arms.

I picked up the little one and started spinning her around tickling her, happy to have her in my arms again, I lost myself in the sweet sound of her laughter until I heard my mother clear her throat and look at me with shock painted on her face.

"Is there something I should know, Perrie?" 

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A/N - Thanks to my babe sdedwards25 for the support and for suggesting a song for this chapter! 🧡💀

Hope you enjoyed and see you at the next update! Feedbacks are always appreciated so, if you want, comment and share! ❤️

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Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C